My ex boyfriend and I were in a 1 year relationship.Things were fine initially.He is extremely ambitious and has a high stress job.We would often go for weeks without meeting.Add to this he is hot tempered as well.He would immediately clam up every time we had a fight or argument.We broke up briefly since it was frustrating that he was never there for me when I needed love and support. We got back after I made the effort. Though I did make it clear that I expect him to commit, I never out pressure on him. The 2ndd time round, tried to be more understandng of his work schedule and pressure.Everytime he had tensions he would refuse to communicate saying that he needed time to clear his head.This would go on for couple of weeks and I would be left confused and uncertain. He has always insisted on wanting space in the relationship and I tried to the extent possible.I did not think things were healthy.He said he is looking out for a new job so that he can spend more time with me and understand me better. Recently we were spending time at his apartment.We had a small tiff and he sat down to work on his laptop saying he wanted some time off. Since I was meetng him after so long, I did not want to waste a single moment of it. I played around and teased him a bit. He got really angry and said that I'm choking him and being selfish in always wanting his attention all the time.I was shocked and started crying at this outburst. He was like, my tears make him even more angry. He refused to speak to me after this incident.
Couple of days later I went over to his place to make amends. I even got him a card and a rose as a surprise to settle things down.He wasn't at home that time.When I called him and told him that I'm waiting for him outside, he refused to come over and kept insisting I go back. It was dark and I was scared. He was still adamant about not coming.I went back home feeling really humiliated. He was online and said that these things irritate him a lot. He said that he is done with everything.
I agree that I may be at fault somewhere but I always try to make peace while he gives me the silent treatment very time I make a mistake in his eyes.
I do not know if he even loves me or is it that he's too stressed with other issues. I did not contact him after that day.It's been a week and neither has he.Am to assume this is a complete break up. I did not even get a chance to explain myself. It hurts that I loved him so much but he saw me as an attention seeker. Am trying to move on but wondering where did I make the mistake? Please help me understand.

He sounds like a passive-aggressive and hurtful jerk. My suggestion would be to forget him and move on and not to be led around by the nose by someone so selfish and stupid. Leave this bananahead behind! You deserve so much more than this. Be good to you!

It sounds to me like you are both very different people and not compatible at all. You want to be romantic and spend all the time you can together, and he wants to have his space. Both are fine, but not together as they just don't work. Its not about who is right or wrong, or whether you are being too this, or him too that, its about compatibility, and I don't think you both have it.

This is a very harmful relationship. Everything you are getting from him will influence your next relationship and the longer you are with him the worse it will get. He may be under pressure from his job but that is no excuse for the way he is treating you. Distance yourself from this person and feel the freedom.

We would often go for weeks without meeting.Add to this he is hot tempered as well.He would immediately clam up every time we had a fight or argument.We broke up briefly since it was frustrating that he was never there for me when I needed love and support. We got back after I made the effort.


There was your mistake. Making him a priority, when you were an option.