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stef-duncan4
May 15, 2009, 08:08 PM
I have no reason to be jealous, though I am. And I don't know why. It just hurts when my boyfriend even talks to other girls... how do you get over jealousy :confused: because i love my boy way too much.... please help :eek:

jenniepepsi
May 15, 2009, 11:23 PM
Have you been cheated on you before hon?

How old are you? You may have a little paranoia going on that you might want to talk to your doctor about.

Good luck hon :)

Gemini54
May 16, 2009, 01:29 AM
Jealousy stems from fear and insecurity.

I would suggest that you're not confident and feel insecure about yourself so that when your BF talks to other girls you're afraid he'll like them or give them more attention than you.

The way to get over jealousy is to work on yourself and build up yourself confidence. If you like yourself and have confidence in yourself you won't notice your BF talking to other girls. Try and let go of the fear, he's with you isn't he?

Jake2008
May 16, 2009, 01:34 AM
If you are jealous without any reason as you said, you are insecure.

Often fear will drive insecurity; fear of the end of the relationship, fear of deeper feelings, fear of somebody else catching his eye. Fear of him losing interest.

To be jealous without him giving you a reason to, means you need to realize that no matter how much fear you have, it will drive you to be possessive, argumentative, and you will 'find' things to justify your jealousy. For someone not deserving of being accused of doing anything wrong, i.e. your boyfriend, that will drive a wedge into the relationship that is very hard to fix.

It is more likely than not that at some point, with any relationship, things will change. You may decide that you no longer have the same feelings for him that you once had, or he may feel different about you. People drift apart, grow and change.

Maybe your jealousy doesn't necessarily mean that you think he's doing something wrong, but more that you fear losing him.

If you are young, and I suspect you are, jealousy is a natural part of wanting to hang onto something that has begun to fade, the relationship may be changing through no fault of anyone. You want to find reasons for feeling different about him, and are maybe seeing things that just aren't there.

Jake2008
May 16, 2009, 01:36 AM
Great minds think alike Gemini! We were both writing at the same time lol

Gemini54
May 16, 2009, 06:19 PM
Great minds think alike Gemini! We were both writing at the same time lol

Yaaaaay! The world-wide ESP is working! Who says we need the internet?

stef-duncan4
May 17, 2009, 03:09 PM
Thanks guys.

Yes, I have been cheated on before.

I also have been raped.

I also have no self confidence.

Ha ha, seems like I just suck.

I had depression since sixth grade and I am now eighteen.

If that helps with any advice, it would be most grateful.

Thanks again.

artlady
May 17, 2009, 03:25 PM
Thanks guys.

Yes, I have been cheated on before.

I also have been raped.

I also have no self confidence.

Ha ha, seems like I just suck.

I had depression since sixth grade and I am now eighteen.

If that helps with any advice, it would be most grateful.

Thanks again.

Given everything you just said I think maybe you need to talk to a counselor. Being raped is a very heavy trauma and the problems associated with that can hurt you for years ,unless you get help for it.

I know that is an expense many can't afford but if you contact your local mental health association,they can put you in contact with a counseling service on on sliding scale basis.You pay what you can afford according to income.

I think that is truly the way to go here.Get help for your personal growth and than you will be able to handle the challenges that you are facing in your relationship.

stef-duncan4
May 17, 2009, 03:29 PM
I just got out of counseling, actually, to be honest, and I am still on anti-depressants.

And I would like off them.

But I fear that if I go back to my therapist, they won't take me off my anti depressants, but I am not suicidal anymore.

artlady
May 17, 2009, 03:37 PM
I just got out of counseling, actually, to be honest, and I am still on anti-depressants.

And I would like off of them.

But I fear that if I go back to my therapist, they won't take me off of my anti depressants, but I am not suicidal anymore.

If you are not happy being on the anti depressants,you need to discuss this with your doctor .Maybe there is some other type that will work better for you.
Please stay on your meds until you discuss this further with your doctor.I would also suspect that your not being suicidal could be a direct result of the meds .Stay on them until you are advised to do otherwise.

stef-duncan4
May 17, 2009, 03:40 PM
I have discussed it with my doctor.
She says I have to be on them a year before she takes me off them
A year will land me at the end of the summer, ha ha so I can't even think about getting off them yet.

And I am very happy, I just get jealous a lot and that's my biggest issue right now, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to get over that. : )

artlady
May 17, 2009, 03:45 PM
I have discussed it with my doctor.
She says I have to be on them a year before she takes me off of them
A year will land me at the end of the summer, ha ha so i can't even think about getting off of them yet.

And I am very happy, I just get jealous a lot and that's my biggest issue right now, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to get over that. : )

Here is a link I think you may find helpful.
It takes work to overcome feelings of jealousy but it can be done.You understanding that the problem is with you is a great beginning.
Dealing With Jealousy (http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/dealing-with-jealousy-faq.htm)

stef-duncan4
May 17, 2009, 03:49 PM
Thanks very much : )

Jake2008
May 17, 2009, 05:17 PM
It isn't unusual to have to try different anti depressants until you find one that fits.

I agree to carry on with counselling, or go to another therapist to keep up. Even if it is half as often, better to have that, than go cold turkey.

stef-duncan4
May 17, 2009, 05:21 PM
Yes, very true.
I will look into it.
As for anti-depressants, I just really don't want to be on them anymore. I would rather feel my own emotions, even if it is sadness or happiness or anger...

artlady
May 17, 2009, 05:35 PM
Yes, very true.
I will look into it.
As for anti-depressants, I just really don't want to be on them anymore. I would rather feel my own emotions, even if it is sadness or happiness or anger...

Anti depressants don't make you a zombie who feels nothing,you still have feelings.You can still feel happiness and sadness.
Your emotions are still real and there ,the meds just help you to cope with the feelings that become overwhelming.
You said you do not feel suicidal anymore and that may be a combination of meds,talk therapy and your own inner strength coming to the fore.Sometimes the meds allow you to think clearly and deal with the issues.
Please rethink getting off the meds .
There is no shame is needing a little help :)