Hi !

I come from a traditional Indian background. I am married happily for the last 10 years also have a lovely son. Before marriage I had an attraction for a guy elder to me ny 4 years, he was from a different community (we Indians are very choosy when it comes to getting our children married to someone from a different community).
Both of us liked each other, I was very vocal about my feelings he never was. But he would care for me and his actions showed that. Our common friends would ask him if he would get married to me, as I wanted to and told my friends to ask him about it.
He always told them an excuse about our communities and that his parents would disapprove of it.
Finally we stopped contact, I got married but never could forget him. Was always trying to search for his mail-id or his office numbers in my diaries or somewhere but all in vain.
Suddenly one day I saw his profile on a networking site and made up an id and mailed on it. And to my surprise the id turned to be true and we are again in touch.
Though only on mails which also are not so frequent.
I called him up after about 2 years, we were just talking something formal. During the conversation he said to me, "so did u tell your son about how we would meet on the building terrace in the night". This was a surprise to me.
I still have lot of feelings for him, though I love my husband a lot.
I want to know what was it that was happening between us. And the way I still love and dream about him, does he also feels or has felt about me the same way?

Does it matter how he feels? Sounds to me like you are forgetting an important factor which is that you are married and you have a child.

You need to think about this logically, use your brain not your heart. Try to stop the obsessing with your old flame and cut contact with him, NC will help.

What are your intentions, since you are married?

To keep yourself from doing something your regret you should really stop all communications with this guy and focus on your marriage.

If things aren't going right in your marriage then communicate your concerns so the two of you can work on fixing the problem together.

It is normal to reflect on your past crushes/relationships but acting on it, while your married, is just throwing yourself into the fire. Your just get burned.

Let it go because the past is the past.

Very good advice given a head of me. I want to add that you should always put yourself in someone else's shoes. Please think of how your husband would take this information if he found out. Also I want you to consider what if there is another woman in your exes life and how she may take the information of the two of you talking. Cheating starts in the mind. We don't have to be physical to cheat. You have already taken time away from your marriage you have already started the affair. You must stop

I am always suspicious of those that want to see old flames, but don't tell their partners. What's the big secret all about?

They always ask stranger" do you think they still care" .

Its disgusting really, and says a lot about character, and the state of the relationship they are in.

That's what I think.

I am always suspicious of those that want to see old flames, but don't tell their partners. Whats the big secret all about?

They always ask stranger" do you think they still care" .

Its disgusting really, and says a lot about character, and the state of the relationship they are in.

Thats what I think.


Exactly. If the old flame wants to see you and you're wondering how he's doing, invite him over to dinner to meet your husband.