I am in a relationship with a man who is significantly older than me, I am 19 and he is 39. We are in an open relationship, where he is allowed to have intercourse with both genders (he's bisexual) and I'm allowed to have intercourse with ONLY him and other females.

So, now my problem - more and more recently he is becoming very short tempered. When we go out with friends and say he's engaged in a conversation with a friend and I interrupt him about an IMPORTANT issue (say e.g.. The bill), he gets angry. He doesn't get physical, but he gets really pissed off and it's written on his face. And he becomes very cold towards me.

Another example is, if we are together in the living room and I start talking about my day and other stuff he gets very annoyed and tells me to stop talking. Ok, I do admit I talk quite a bit, but is it 'ok' for a guy to just tell you to stop talking? Also, he then gets very angry if I don't stop talking. He doesn't get physical or anything, but he just says something along the lines of 'can we have some quiet goddamit?'.

Or if I try to tell him about my day, or events and stuff he doesn't seem to care at all. In fact again, he just gets angry. Next, he enjoys going out and getting wasted, and half the time he has no idea what he is saying or doing, which is very embarrassing when I'm out with my friends. He just can't seem to control his drinks.

We have talked a lot about our future and he says with certainty that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but lately, I am getting all forms of doubt. I don't want to be with a man who yells at me for the smallest things ever.

So my questions are:

1) is there a way to fix this problem? If so, how?
2) is this 'worth' fixing?
3) to the ladies out there with similar experiences: how do you 'deal' with this?

I know this is quite a long post, so I would deeply appreciate any feedback/advice.

Best Regards,

Deeplydisturbed.

Wait a second. The two of you are in an open relationship and he can sleep with both genders (guys & girls) while you can only sleep with one gender (girls). Isn't this a double standard? Why would you ever agree to this?

He is a grown man with temper tantrums. I don't understand why because you let him get his way. It seems like he is trying to shape and mold you into the woman he wants. Might be the reason why he likes younger females because an older one wouldn't take his sh*t.

He is controlling, have anger issues, and like to have his cake with ice cream with sprinkles on top. I don't think you could really do much because only anger management can help him and if he doesn't get it he can turn physical.

I think you should step back and think if this relationship is what you want because I see screaming bright red flags and you need to pay attention to them.

What do you look for in a relationship? It seems like you are getting the short end of the stick with this guy.It is all his way or the highway.

This is not an open relationship.
It is only open on his half.You are being told what you can and can not do.
He does not want any male competition so you are in an open relationship with females only.That is wrong on so many levels.Double standard,hyprocicy,jealousy.

He is an out of control drinker with a temper and control issues,that is never a good combination,the potential for abuse is very high.

He is disrespecful to you and shows little if any interest in what you have to say,telling you when you can speak.

In response to questions 1 and 2 .Yes there is a way to fix this,get away as fast as your feet will take you.

This man does not value you or your relationship and frankly,unless he is a sugar daddy,(paying your bills)I see nothing appealing about this whole affair.

He is bossy ,controlling and has anger issues.Get out while you still can.There is nothing here worth saving.

First of all this person does not want to be with you in the future. This person is able to have sex with anybody, your not. Red flag.

Getting angry for talking to this person. Red flag.

Age difference. Red Flag.

Temper issues. Red Flag.

Drinking, Drunk. Red Flag.

Your deeply disturbed. About this situation. Red Flag.

You questioning all of this is well, not a red flag but you get the point that you need to leave this person, and get out now.

It is not worth fixing, it has been broken from the start. It will only get worse.

Joe

He has no commitment to you.
He has a bad temper
It can crossover quickly to physical!

How much do you love yourself?
Do you have anything valuable to say?

My opinion: you are worth more than what he has to offer. Move on and re evaluate your own self esteem

1) is there a way to fix this problem? if so, how?
Leave!!
2) is this 'worth' fixing?
NO!
3) to the ladies out there with similiar experiences: how do you 'deal' with this?
If they were healthy, and smart, and cared for themselves, they would have been gone, a long time ago

This is a one way, unhealthy relationship, where he tells you what to do, and you do it. Thats not love, thats slavery.

Your no more than a pet, he trained to obey.



We are in an open relationship, where he is allowed to have intercourse with both genders (he's bisexual) and I'm allowed to have intercourse with ONLY him and other females.

Two females can't have intercourse. So this relationship is NOT open, its totally under his control. He lied to you.

OMG, GIRL, RUN!!!!!

I don't understand even letting it get this far.

Also, I hope your getting yourself check regularly for STD's because you don't know who he sleeping with.