View Full Version : Why I can't understand this
ASIAYMN
May 12, 2009, 04:43 PM
I'm 6 months pregnant with a baby my boyfriend thinks is a mistake to his perfect little world since I'm multiracial and he`s black he thinks our baby will be looked down upon
ChihuahuaMomma
May 13, 2009, 03:32 AM
He's selfish. Don't worry about him, make sure that your child is well taken care of.
DoulaLC
May 14, 2009, 01:23 PM
Does he feel the two of you as a couple are looked down upon? Why wouldn't the same thought apply to the two of you since you are not of the same race?
Sure, some people will be racist and find fault, but many others will not. It can depend on where you live... maybe a move would be a consideration if it became necessary.
Does he consider your relationship to be long term? Would it make any difference if it happened several years from now?
Perhaps it is not so much the concern about race, but that he is just not ready for a baby right now and all that will be involved.
I'd discuss it with him a bit more and see if there is more to it than just a possible acceptance issue.
YeloDasy
May 14, 2009, 01:36 PM
People are looked down upon for many things... color of skin, weight, deformity, speech, personality, etc. You can not live life in fear of others. You can be aware, conscious of the fact that there may be issues, and deal with them appropriately. If you are loving parents, he will grow up to be independent of any pregudices and maybe will bring the world together somehow. This world is still too separated...
This child has many cultures in him/her... that is not a problem, that is an asset!
jenniepepsi
May 14, 2009, 02:08 PM
Be proud that your child will be multi racial! There is nothing wrong with that. And if he has a problem with it, tell him to hit the curb. If he doesn't want to be a part of his child's life simply because the baby isn't EXACTLY what he wants out of a child and family, then he is too shallow and selfish to be a father OR husband
stevetcg
May 15, 2009, 04:25 AM
Is he afraid that his child is going to be looked down upon for being multiracial or is he actually afraid that HE is going to be looked down upon for being a closed minded idiot?
Seriously - I've heard a lot of complaints about a lot of things but "not black enough" has never been one of them.
Be proud of who you are and who your child is. And if he looks down on you or your child, find a real man who only cares about what matters.
JoeCanada76
May 15, 2009, 04:37 AM
That is a bunch of Bull Sh@t.
This person is poor excuse of a person.
He should be happy that your pregnant and that he is going to be a father. Should not matter whether the baby is multiracial or not.
Wow.
N0help4u
May 15, 2009, 06:04 AM
You have your baby and leave him to figure out what he wants to do.
If he leaves you you go after him for child support. Don't let him off the hook on that.
Also where I live there are so many bi racial kids. On my street alone in the past 18 yrs I have watched at least 8 white girls have a combined total of 20 some bi racial babies.
They are the prettiest kids you ever want to see. They look Hawaiian actually.
Also ask him how he thinks lighter skinned blacks got to be lighter skin and are they really all that looked down on.
YeloDasy
May 15, 2009, 09:49 AM
My niece is bi-racial, and she is beautiful. Her dad is not in the picture, she is bi-racial being raised by the fairest of fair! To be honest, when she is out and about, so many people come up and talk to us. I have never had so many from the Black culture talk to me before and I am white as they come. :) She is like the link and all races seem to love her and want to gauk over her. Its amazing how people do look at race, but not always in a negative way. Culture is awesome... she has taught us many things and we love her to pieces!
YeloDasy
May 15, 2009, 09:52 AM
I want to add, that all cutlures also have their own values and their own beliefs. So maybe his culture believes that it is not okay, and looking at how hard they had to work to be independent and equal, it makes sense his concern, and I am guessing he is more worried about his culture not accepting child. BUt the truth is, that is not the case at all. Experience will show him. When that baby is born, all that crap in his head will go away when he falls in love with this child.
N0help4u
May 16, 2009, 04:49 AM
I was thinking this yesterday but now that I have thought more about it I want to add.
I think your boyfriend is making lame excuses because if you are multi racial already you, if anybody, should be the one that is concerned about how the baby would manage throughout life. Tell him you managed quite well and that was in a day when people were more prejudice.