My daughter was a meth user ; with husband buying it for her. He decided he wanted a divorce , not because of drugs, since he used drugs also, but because of "other choices." He turned her into DHS, filed for divorce, remarried and won custody. The children are constantly drilled after visits, which makes the oldest boy (11) very upset so he takes out his frustration out on the younger brother (7). He has hurt him several different times on purpose. My daughter has discussed this with the EX and also with DHS, but nothing ever came of it. My daughter has been cleaned for over a year, did a hair follicle test and passed. What are the chances of her getting her boys back. DHS will not help her, and she can not afford to get another lawyer to help with custody. What can she do?? I feel she is being completely cheated by the system.

What can she do? She can make sure that during her visits with her sons absolutely nothing happens that would cause them to feel guilty for or that they could not freely admit to and discuss openly with their father about the time spent on visits with her. Her visits with her sons should be fun and innocent. The boys should be excited to tell and share all about their visits, not feel they have to be drilled... but since they are, she can fill the visits with lots of fun things for the boys to tell. That might take some of the stress off the oldest.

If the visits are not stable and there are activities going on that should not be, the older boy may feel protective of his mother and feel he needs to intimidate the younger boy into keeping quiet since they are drilled.

I think the mother can do a lot of things on her own to help her sons handle the situation better.