ravensrock85
May 8, 2009, 11:28 PM
Hello everyone, stumbled upon this site and its had some great info... I wish I had found it 48 hours ago. Well here it goes... I met this girl working at a summer camp here in the US two summers ago. She's from England. We started going out that summer (which lasted 10 weeks), and decided to keep it up LDR as we both loved each other by the end. Both each other's first love and first person to have sex with. Anyway things were pretty good, we visited several times a year and worked last summer again. I visited her in January and things were great. I always kind of was bothered by the LDR part and felt she liked me more than I liked her (towards the later stages). Well anyway she was meant to come visit in April. I had been studying for a huge exam for several months along with working which made our communicating hard. Things started to drift apart for us, but I was getting excited to see her. She broke up the day after my exam saying she couldn't come. Well for a week or so I was still in the mindset of I want to get her back, hopefully we'll get back together in the future when we can be together. I thought I'd consider moving there (since we always discussed her coming here). We would message each other every other day or so on Facebook, but just casual chit chat. But I think she knew I wasn't over her. After about 10 days I spoke to her online and said I needed time before trying to be friends. She said she understood and wants to be friends with me too, but she'll be there when I'm ready.
It's been about 4 weeks since then and I think I've done really well. Definitely started to realize that it wasn't right to be in a LDR and realized how things weren't working because of that. Joined an online dating site and have met some really cool people. During this period I would sometimes check her Facebook to see what she's up to, but as time went on it happened less frequently. I've come to accept that she'll always mean something to me, but it's definitely better that things ended. Even though I felt over her, the biggest worry to me was that we'd never ever be friends again and after being together for nearly 2 years that seems insane. Especially since I'm friends with the 3 girls I had relationships with (though none as serious as this).
Flash to yesterday. Some of my friends were planning a Eurotrip this summer and I thought I'd go a bit earlier and visit friends in England (and perhaps see her). So I thought I should initiate contact. I sent her a message asking how she was doing, etc and a bit of what I've been up to with studying for another exam. The only thing I mentioned relating to us was that I am glad I had this time to reflect as I realized how the distance wasn't healthy for either of us. And that I'm looking forward to being friends. I didn't plan on checking facbeook today to see if she replied, but had to reply to somebody else. She didn't reply to me, but I know she was on.
So now I've been quite upset at the thought she doesn't want to be friends. Yet I also recognize she may just need space too. I probably broke the NC rule too early, and now realize I don't want to see her because I think feelings would come back.
Anyway I guess I wonder where I should go from here. Do I send her another message saying that I think I probably contacted her too soon and imagine she needs space too? Or just let it be? Like I said losing her as part of my life is what upsets me the most. I appreciate any advice and sorry for the lengthy post!
It's been about 4 weeks since then and I think I've done really well. Definitely started to realize that it wasn't right to be in a LDR and realized how things weren't working because of that. Joined an online dating site and have met some really cool people. During this period I would sometimes check her Facebook to see what she's up to, but as time went on it happened less frequently. I've come to accept that she'll always mean something to me, but it's definitely better that things ended. Even though I felt over her, the biggest worry to me was that we'd never ever be friends again and after being together for nearly 2 years that seems insane. Especially since I'm friends with the 3 girls I had relationships with (though none as serious as this).
Flash to yesterday. Some of my friends were planning a Eurotrip this summer and I thought I'd go a bit earlier and visit friends in England (and perhaps see her). So I thought I should initiate contact. I sent her a message asking how she was doing, etc and a bit of what I've been up to with studying for another exam. The only thing I mentioned relating to us was that I am glad I had this time to reflect as I realized how the distance wasn't healthy for either of us. And that I'm looking forward to being friends. I didn't plan on checking facbeook today to see if she replied, but had to reply to somebody else. She didn't reply to me, but I know she was on.
So now I've been quite upset at the thought she doesn't want to be friends. Yet I also recognize she may just need space too. I probably broke the NC rule too early, and now realize I don't want to see her because I think feelings would come back.
Anyway I guess I wonder where I should go from here. Do I send her another message saying that I think I probably contacted her too soon and imagine she needs space too? Or just let it be? Like I said losing her as part of my life is what upsets me the most. I appreciate any advice and sorry for the lengthy post!