Ok long story short me and this particular ex broke up and got back together like 5 times. I loved him very much but he treated me like crap. The last time we broke up was about a year and a half ago..

Since then Ive had another relationship for about a year. ( which ended a while ago). Anyway me and this ex have been friends all throughout this.. But about 4months ago we had an argument where he said "he doesnt need or want anything from me and that I should remember that".. He has said really REALLY bad stuff to me before but this was just the final straw and so I never replied to any of his texts again.. Even though he has apologised since then.

Sooo last night I saw him when I was out and we talked a little.. He has txt me 3 times since then asking why I'm ignoring him etc...

I'm just not sure if I should reply to him?? I feel bad for not replying but my life is fine without him now and feel like he should just stay in the past.. Plus he said he doesn't need or want anything from me so why try and keep in touch now... Any comments are welcome.. :) Should I reply or not?

To answer your question:

Nope. I shouldn't need to explain this. You gave all the reasons in your post already.

~ Tee

No... he told you he didn't need anything from you, so that's your answer. He doesn't need your text :)

Thanks! Yeah exactly he doesn't need anything from me apparently do why does he care if I stay in touch with him or not.. I'm just going to ignore him

Yep, ignoring him is the way to go. He's just trying to get a reaction from you.

Don't reply, eventually he will get the hint, and leave you alone.

Ignore him, like you said, you're life is fine without him and he doesn't need anything from you.

Hun do not stress over this he is not worth your time or energy he has hurt you too much in the past don't let it continue

Sometimes the best thing to do is to let go. It sounds like you have your answers.

No, you should not reply to his text message. You saw him last night and now he has text messaged you three times asking you why you are ignoring him? It sounds like he is desperate for female attention of any kind, and since you loved him when he treated you like crap... maybe he wants to treat you like crap again.

Yeah you guys are right.. I haven't replied! It took me a looong time to get over him and I don't see any point in talking to him now. He made his choice a long time ago and now he has to live with it.

Ok so another dilemma haha another ex text me last night (I only have 3 bdw) confessing his love for me.. It has been 2 years since me and this one have been broken up and we went out for about 4 years.. we were supposed to get married but I ended it for ex number 2 who this thread is about.

So last night he said he still loves me and no one is ever going to love me the way he does etc etc but I just don't know what to say? I haven't replied but I feel kind of guilty.. I want to reply and say something but what??

I can see the situation from both sides and don't want to hurt him more so is it just better to not reply or reply but maybe change the subject?

You don't have to do anything, but heal at your own pace, in your own way, and whomever has other things for you to consider, can wait until you feel like it.

Definitely don't reply to these rethreads. It's just a good policy to have. Two years later someone decides they love you? A bit slow on the uptake there bub. No Thanks.

You only want someone who is man enough to know his own heart and go for what he wants. These confused boys are a dime a dozen. Let them spin themselves into a tizzy... without you. You have better things to do than take part in their drama.

If it's dead, bury it.

Yeah OK I won't reply.. I am over them anyway.. (you can read my other thread if you want lol)

I just don't want to be rude by not replying.. because I put myself in their shoes and I'd hate it if someone I cared about didn't reply.. But I suppose when its over its over and you got to move on

when its over its over and you gotta move on


You said it. Do not reply, you do not owe anything to anyone. Seems like you're a kind hearted person but keep in mind that it is your life and no matter what happens in it, make the decisions that'll make YOU do better and be better.

Yeah ok I wont reply.. I am over them anyway..(you can read my other thread if you want lol)

I just dont wanna be rude by not replying..cuz I put myself in their shoes and I'd hate it if someone I cared about didnt reply.. But I suppose when its over its over and you gotta move on

You cannot set a boundary and take care of someone else's feelings at the same time. And here, you have to set a boundary. Don't worry about being rude. This isn't about being rude, it's about taking care of you.

Originally Posted by anika_ https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_imgs/buttons/viewpost.gif (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/should-reply-351507-2.html#post1724484)
I just don't want to be rude by not replying.. because I put myself in their shoes and I'd hate it if someone I cared about didn't reply

I think its rude to contact someone out of the blue, and profess a love that's been dead for sometime.

I think its rude to contact someone out of the blue, and profess a love thats been dead for sometime.

Yes, Tal, it is rude.

Having had this happen to me, I know how rude it is.

You've moved on. Who does he think he is to just stick his emotions in your face after two years?

Don't reply. You owe nothing to any of these men. They're looking for attention. They'll have to text someone else.

No it hasn't been 2 years since we've talked.. We have been friends but he has recently moved to another city and has been wanting us to have a long term relationship etc. But yeah he has pretty much never really moved on even though he has dated others he always breaks up with them and then tries to get back together with me.. Its just frustrating because I have told him many many times that I can't get back together so I just don't know what to say anymore..

Say NO, or ignore him, that simple, but don't let him stir up those old feelings in you. Why make his shortcomings your problem?

Threads merged.

I'm really confused.. my ex boyfriend and I broke up a looong time ago for many many reasons. I was really in love with him but over time I eventually moved on.. Now he is back in my life and saying all these things that I've always wanted to hear. But after all that's happened I'm not sure if its what I want anymore..

Should I give him another chance??

If you're uncertain that it is what you want, then no, don't give it another chance.

The usual rule of thumb in these things is to trust your intuition - "if it don't feel right, don't do it!"

You said he is saying all the things you want to hear so do you think he is saying those things because he knows you want to hear them?

Do you want to give another chance? What cause a break up in the first place?

Some doors should remain closed for a reason.

Actions are what is important,not words.

Has anything truly changed?

Do you want to pick up where you left off?

Clearly,he is an ex for a reason.Do you want to have more of the same in the future?

Break-ups are horrible and you need to ask yourself if you are willing to toss all your hard work of getting over him out the window only to possibly find yourself back where you were.

Some things never change.Some people never change.You need to ask yourself many questions and decide what you have to do to protect yourself.

The fact that you are questioning it is a big thing from my perspective.Your inner voice is usually very accurate.

If you have that many doubts, then what's the point of giving him another chance? It's such an uphill battle. You're fighting whether you still feel anything for him. Then you're fighting to see if what he's saying is true. Then you're fighting whether you should give another chance because you're scared it will blow up again.

Sometimes wounds do heal... but why open old wounds when they are healing very well? You broke up for a reason.

Another chance to do what?? Why are you confused? I know, because he is back in your life, and whispering Bull crap in your ear again. And of course you love the attention, since its better than nothing right?

Wrong, your depending on someone to make you feel special, and wanted because your either to lazy, or inexperienced.

Which is it, so we can end your confusion for you.

Don't reply.

It seems like that's what everyone agree on. If he treats you bad, you don't deserve to be treated that way, so why give your time to keep in touch with him?

The thing is I've always cared about him and he has always cared about me.. I'm only unsure now because yeah we had problems but what couple doesn't? The last time we were together was a long time ago now and he seems like he has changed since then and so have I.. as in we are more mature..

I think if we were to get back together things would be different now but there is still a small part of me that is scared that it would go back to the way things were..

We talked for like 5 hours the other night about everything and he said that the main reason he couldn't let go with me was that he couldn't trust me.. I just don't really understand why because I loved him more then anything and would have done anything for him. He is very loyal and would never cheat on me.

What I want to know is is it possible that it would work now when it didn't before?

The thing is i've always cared about him and he has always cared bout me.. I'm only unsure now because yeah we had problems but what couple doesnt? The last time we were together was a long time ago now and he seems like he has changed since then and so have i..as in we are more mature..

I think if we were to get back together things would be different now but there is still a small part of me that is scared that it would go back to the way things were..

We talked for like 5 hours the other nite about everything and he said that the main reason he couldnt let go with me was that he couldnt trust me.. I just dont really understand why because I loved him more then anything and would have done anything for him. He is very loyal and would never cheat on me.

What I wanna know is is it possible that it would work now when it didnt before?

He didn't trust you then, he won't trust you now. The truth is, he doesn't trust himself.

Don't be deceived by his sweet talking. He lacks self awareness and the capacity to really give of himself in a relationship. He's a boy not a man.

Why would things be any different? He's still saying the same things things about not trusting you and is making your previous breakup your fault.

You can still care about him - just don't get involved with him until he grows up.

I want to know his reasons for not trusting you because even your unsure why.

Well he said he didn't trust me because I used to go clubbing a lot without him (he never wanted to come with me because he workd a lot during that time).. And he started wondering why I wanted to go clubbing so much..

And then I'd get upset that he would never come and we'd fight etc. But I have always liked clubbing and I still go.. So in that aspect nothing has changed.. What am I supposed to do sit at home and wait for him when he's not around?

But I still don't really understand why he doesn't trust me.. He made me promise that I have never cheated on him when we talked the other day. I think its more of his issue then anything I did.

Anyway that was only one of our problems we had lots of other issues like physically. We went out for about a year and never slept together because he said it didn't feel right for him.. I don't know he's just forever conflicted about me I think he wants me in theory but when it comes down to it he can't fully let go and be with me..

See that's why it seemed like this time everything is different but who knows.. But all he wants to do is talk talk talk and I'm all talked out. Lol.

This morning I said to him that I'm sick of the bs and that it doesn't have to be complicated it can be simple we either are together or not and that when he knows exactly what he wants to give me a call.. No call yet so guess that's my answer..

Yea, well, I'd be sick of his BS too! Sounds like he has a few issues to me - I'd get on with my life and wouldn't hold my breath for a call. You can't hold his hand while he grows up. Well done for putting it back in his court.

Okay, he used to get upset that of your clubbing habits in the past and this lead to many agruements but what you failed to forget is you still go clubbing. History would have repeating itself.

He make you promise you wouldn't cheat on him? :-O This just shows he have major insecurities. I have been with my fiancé for over 2 years and I never nor has he ever made me promise such a thing.

Now he is backing off but this is something you should have done instead of entertaining his thoughts. You said it best when you wrote, "he is saying the things you wants to hear", he was only trying to butter you up. After he did he did a 360.

Don't let him back into life. Block him on any social site like myspace, Facebook, etc. You can block him from sending you emails. Don't answer if he calls and don't open any text messages or voicemail left by him.

Yea, well, I'd be sick of his BS too! Sounds like he has a few issues to me - I'd get on with my life and wouldn't hold my breath for a call. You can't hold his hand while he grows up. Well done for putting it back in his court.

Had to spread the rep, but well said!

Liz: had to spread the rep, well said!

Anika: It does sound as if he has a lot of insecurities... why make someone promise to NOT cheat... isn't that implied when you're in a relationship of that nature.

Ahhh you guys are sooo right! I don't know what I was thinking... whenever I don't talk to him he gets really upset but he will never just stop the crap and decide he wants to be with me.

Soo over it! I'm actually really angry at myself for even considering it

Don't beat yourself up too much because the only thing you can do is live and learn from your mistakes.

Now you know not to fall for his crap and it is better to leave the past in the past.

If you didn't go through what you briefly did with him you would have never learnt this lesson.

Life is grand!

Yeah, don't beat yourself up... at least you are one lesson richer. He is full of BS and you know not to take it!

Besides, isn't that how we learn? We fall down, make mistakes and we get back up again... ;)

Yeah it just seems like I make the same mistakes over and over and over again! When will I learn.. lol hopefully this time

Yeah it just seems like I make the same mistakes over and over and over again!! when will I learn.. lol hopefully this time

You will learn eventually but anytime soon? That's for you to answer =P