randomguy19
May 4, 2009, 08:02 PM
Greetings,
I'm a 21 year old that is literally wasting my life. My day resolves around the computer, as I do nothing more other than go to college. I have no friends anymore, and the ones that I did have were not really "friends" in the first place. Natural problems, friendship neglecting and gradating high school has really taken a toll on my number of friends. My family relationship has also been destroyed due to family issues. I find myself always looking into the future, and imaging what life COULD be like. Besides the internet addiction/habit, my diet consist of fast food. I literally eat it twice a day, and have done it since I graduated high school. As a consequence, I've gained weight. The weight that I have gained has caused me to become very insecure about my looks. I tend to not want to see people that I know because I'm embarrassed on how much weight I've gained. The computer is similar to a drug, and my perception of time is gone. Hours seem like minutes. I tend to feel more depressed on the weekends because I'm in my room, on the computer, when everyone else is out having fun. I guess the question is, where do I even start? My goal is to simply LIVE. I want to make friends badly, but am not even sure where to go. And even so, I feel so insecure about myself it affects my motive to even try. Negative thoughts run though my head, and fear what negative thoughts the person is thinking about me. When in conversation, I run out of words to say. I tend to have more anxiety when faced with people I already know than people I don't know. I feel as if previous friends have negative feelings about me. Is the damage done to social skills due to excessive computer use real? Can I restore this? I truly do want to be good with people, but I feel so limited right now. My college work has also suffered due to excessive computer use. It's obvious to even me what needs to go, but sometimes hearing other input can be productive. It's getting quite boring and lonely confined in my own prison, repeating the same task everyday because of my own barriers. Thanks :p
I'm a 21 year old that is literally wasting my life. My day resolves around the computer, as I do nothing more other than go to college. I have no friends anymore, and the ones that I did have were not really "friends" in the first place. Natural problems, friendship neglecting and gradating high school has really taken a toll on my number of friends. My family relationship has also been destroyed due to family issues. I find myself always looking into the future, and imaging what life COULD be like. Besides the internet addiction/habit, my diet consist of fast food. I literally eat it twice a day, and have done it since I graduated high school. As a consequence, I've gained weight. The weight that I have gained has caused me to become very insecure about my looks. I tend to not want to see people that I know because I'm embarrassed on how much weight I've gained. The computer is similar to a drug, and my perception of time is gone. Hours seem like minutes. I tend to feel more depressed on the weekends because I'm in my room, on the computer, when everyone else is out having fun. I guess the question is, where do I even start? My goal is to simply LIVE. I want to make friends badly, but am not even sure where to go. And even so, I feel so insecure about myself it affects my motive to even try. Negative thoughts run though my head, and fear what negative thoughts the person is thinking about me. When in conversation, I run out of words to say. I tend to have more anxiety when faced with people I already know than people I don't know. I feel as if previous friends have negative feelings about me. Is the damage done to social skills due to excessive computer use real? Can I restore this? I truly do want to be good with people, but I feel so limited right now. My college work has also suffered due to excessive computer use. It's obvious to even me what needs to go, but sometimes hearing other input can be productive. It's getting quite boring and lonely confined in my own prison, repeating the same task everyday because of my own barriers. Thanks :p