Okay, I know I myself would not enjoy reading a very voluminous post so I am going to try to make this a long story short. Okay, my boyfriend, I'm crazy about him you know? It's incredulous how I have learned to love somebody so much. And I'm not trying to sound like an attitudy teenager (lo.:P) but I am kind of sick of adults telling certain people they don't know what love is. I mean some adults could be right, but there is no possible way on this god for saken earth that they all are. Sure they may know what love is or not, but not in our point of perspective. And no offense still to all the adults out there, but I am also still kind of tired of adults telling us what we do or don't want or do and don't need. I think we are getting old enough to be big boys and girls now. But back to the story, so what I'm about to tell you, I need an honest opinion, not a fact, not a demand, not something that might seem threatening to me, just your opinion. Doesn't mean I'll guarunteeingly take it but it doesn't mean I won't either. My boyfriend, I love him so much and I know we won't be together when I am legal age, (at least not continusously), but I want to spend my life with him. I mean sure we could be on and off by then but there is no doubt or maybe some doubt, or both, that we will be together by the time legal age sneaks up on me. My life with out him is very stygian and I just need an a honest OPINION('s only). So he asked me to run away with him. I want to go because I love him with all my heart, but I'm scared due to the fact of all I would be losing. But still, either way I would be miserable. I'm miserable here because I can't be with him every day and what of it. My parents don't quite like him as my boyfreind. I get to see him every now and then, but if I leave, it is everybody else I would be without. The feelings on both sides are pretty much balanced which is why it gets so confusing. A honest opinion would be very salient and appreciated right now thanks... :)

My boyfriend, I love him so much and I know we won't be together when I am legal age, (at least not continusously), but I want to spend my life with him.

The bold part doesn't make sense to me. If you know you won't be together when you're legal then why are you thinking of running away with him?


My parents don't quite like him as my boyfreind

Why? What's wrong with him?


So he asked me to run away with him

And this is the most important part. If he loves you so much then why would he ask you to give up everything just to be with him? That's not love, that selfishness.

In the end it's your choice, but, as an adult, someone who has been through the teen years and survived, I have to say, this is the worst mistake you will ever make.

The reasons that adults give the advice that they do is because they've already learned lifes hard lessons and don't want you to go through the same things they did.

I remember being young, it wasn't all that long ago, and I remember knowing that I knew everything when in fact, I knew nothing at all. I made mistakes, thankfully I lived to tell about them, you might not be so lucky, there are mistakes you don't walk away from.

One day you'll be an adult, you'll have kids of your own, then you'll understand. Heck, maybe you're mature enough now to understand, but one thing is obvious, you don't know what love really is, otherwise you'd realize that what he's asking you to do is the furthest thing from love.

Good luck. :)

I fully agree with Altenweg

I guess your right about that selfish thing but I didn't mean it like that Im terribly sorry but what I meant was that we might not be together but we probably will whether our relatioship is on and off or not its just I don't quite know I feel mature but in my head Im scared. Can I still love him? You may say I don't and heck maybe you are right but what I feel makes me think that way when it may not... but I just like to live up high in the clouds. So, I say I love him when you're right I just might be just a scintilla bit too young. I don't know. My parents just don't like him I don't know but my friends do and so do I. I wouldn't think somehting is wrong with him? Can I still feel like this towards him if I don't make the choice to run away? Another opinion would be mollifying for me, thanks:)

Just think about it though... Do you think that he will be there in years to come? How would you support yourself by running away? Do you have a job? Does he? Where would you live? Do you know all about his background? Does he know all about you? Has he ever lead you astray? I personnally believe that if he loved you he wouldn't want you to run away

Yeah, and when altenweg mentioned that first it made quite a bit of sense so that's what I do not understand... but his plans were not quite... thorough I guess. He has a best friend... and he is my best friend as of now too... and he is 16 and he has a car to "pick us up in" and his parents are rich and apparently "wouldn't mind" if we stayed there. I wouldn't believe it unless I heard it myself but I'm still confused. He hasn't lead me that way that I believe of but I have come to a bit of realization and I just also realized that I ahd made a comitment this weekend. I can't leave... I made a comitment to my high school dance team... yeah that's right... MY team. So I don't think it would be very smart to go... but can I still feel this way towards him? Would that not be quite right?:/

I believe that you may be in love with him. I dated a guy from age 12 to 21 and everyone said we weren't in love but we were. And I have never experienced love like that since. So if you feel you love him than OK. But don't make any life changes for him, your too young for that - the big life changes should come later. Stay at home with the other people who love you. And if he loves you he will respect this.

Just one more opinion here... I see you back tracking a little... you say you love this guy, and I believe you do... at this point in your life... but two things: 1. Why do you have to run away at all? 2. Turn the tables around and look at this from another angle... if you knew you would be pulling him away from his family and friends and that was hard on him, would you still ask him to runaway with you? I don't think you would.

You are also concerned about your team... that tells me that family, friends, and commitments are important to you... if you runaway... you will have no family, and your only friend would be this guy who is rich and whose parents would let you stay there... oh, by the way, parents who would let runaways stay with them while their family was out desperately looking for them, missing them, worried about them, thinking something bad may have happened to them, are NOT the kind of parents I would like to have...

My sister ran away when she was 15. I lived her death EVERYDAY not knowing if she was still alive, or warm at night, was she sleeping in an alley, did she have food that day, etc... turns out she ended up being held captive by some people in Chicago, thousands of miles from home... with no way to contact us... there are a lot of bad people in this world, ready to take advantage of young people with no family... my sister made it home alive and well... thank God... do you REALLY want to put your family and friends through that kind of torture?. Think twice about this Honey... love is beautiful... not heartbreaking or selfish...

I guess your right about that selfish thing but I didnt mean it like that Im terribly sorry but what i meant was that we might not be together but we probably will whether our relatioship is on and off or not its just i dont quite know I feel mature but in my head Im scared. Can I still love him? You may say I dont and heck maybe you are right but what I feel makes me think that way when it may not... but I just like to live up high in the clouds. So, i say I love him when you're right I just might be just a scintilla bit too young. I don't know. My parents just don't like him I dont know but my friends do and so do I. I wouldn't think somehting is wrong with him? Can I still feel like this towards him if I dont make the choice to run away? Another opinion would be mollifying for me, thanks:)

Yes, you can feel love for someone. I'm not saying that what you are feeling isn't real, I'm sure that it is, but (and here's the part where I go all "adult" on you) you're too young to face the very adult consequences of love.

I remember the first guy I fell in love with, I was 14, he meant everything to me, we dated for 2 months. When we broke up I was heartbroken, I really thought I'd die, that I'd never find anyone else like him. Well, many boyfriends and broken hearts later I did find love, and when I did I realized that all the other times weren't as real as they seemed.

If he loves you as much as he says he does then telling him that you can't run away with him shouldn't have any effect on your relationship. That's one true test of love, saying no to something the other person wants and they stay anyway. If he leaves then you're better off, even though it really won't feel like you are.

Chances are that you two won't end up together, statistics say that it's not likely, and even though I hate relying on statistics, sadly, they're true.

Is there a chance that you two will be together forever? Of course there is, but is it likely? No.

The question is, what will you do if you run away with him? Will you live at his friends house forever? Will you finish school? What if a baby comes along, then what? What if either one of you decides that you two aren't meant to be, then what? There are so many reasons not to run away and only one reason to do it, and that's him.

You sound like you have a really good head on your shoulders. You're articulate, and willing to listen to advice, that's rare today. The fact that you came here for advice speaks volumes about your maturity. Here comes the but, ready? If you were 100% certain about this then you wouldn't have asked for advice. Obviously you realize deep down that this is not a good idea.

When you're young you tend to look only weeks into your future, but this could destroy the rest of your life, so you have to look further, really look, because really there are a lot of cons to this plan and not one pro.

Yeah, and when altenweg mentioned that first it made quite a bit of sense so thats what I do not understand... but his plans were not quite... thorough I guess. He has a best friend... and he is my best friend as of now too... and he is 16 and he has a car to "pick us up in" and his parents are rich and apparently "wouldn't mind" if we stayed there. I wouldn't believe it unless I heard it myself but I'm still confused. He hasn't lead me that way that I believe of but I have come to a bit of realization and I just also realized that I ahd made a comitment this weekend. I can't leave... I made a comitment to my high school dance team... yeah thats right... MY team. So I don't think it would be very smart to go... but can I still feel this way towards him? Would that not be quite right?:/

Be mindful of the illutions that you keep. We all do, so don't take it personal. What is personal is, The "MY team"?

What do you feel for yourself first?

For get what is right or wrong and focus on what the possibilities are, and decide according to your valuse, morals, and goals are. We can not choose for you, that is your life and up for you to take responsibility for.

May peace and kindness be with you.

Well altenweg you are very correct... deep down, I don't like this idea even the bit of it. But the even slightest idea of spending at least a long while wnough with him sounded so perfect right? Well, now that I take in what you are feeding me, I think I am finally understanding but I still have that slight doubt. I just don't think I am ready, though I love him, I don't think he means so much to me to leave behind my friends, fmaily, my prized possesions, and heck, even my authority/dance officer spot on my team. I've always dreamed of that and I got it, though it's almost over. I still have one more comitment until I hand it over... this Saturday. And he planned on leaving o' dark early Wednesday morning. I also need to finish graduation. I'm ending the eighth grade and fourteen. I can be very naïve at times and my feelings for him are very strong. I'm not going to be perfidious about this but this is bery hard not to take this chance... but your opinion makes even more sense. But I have to let him know I'm not ready. He said he would understand... but really... would he? That's the question I repeat to myself especially all today. But I am going to talk to him here soon, altenweg... do you mind getting on this post every now and then for the night, I want to tell you and everybody else how it goes... how he reacts to the breathtaking situation. Thank you all very much, especially you altenweg. Much thanks and appreciation.

I'll be here. If I don't answer right away it just means that I'm sleeping or busy at the moment but as soon as I see your post I'll come and check on it.

I know that you still have that little bit of doubt, but you're doing the right thing, really you are.

You just made my day, so I want to thank you as well. You will go far in this world, you're a very smart girl. Big hugs to you. :)

Just stay strong. We're here if you need to talk. :)

Have you told him why you don't want to run away with him? If he knows that you will be miserable being with him and away from everything else, he shouldn't be asking you to run away with him. He if loves you at all, he would want what's best for you, and tearing you away from everything is most likely not the best for you. I'm not saying that everything you feel for him is wrong, I'm just saying take an honest look at your relationship, because from where I stand, it looks like he's just afraid to be lonely and is taking advantage of the fact that you love him so much.

P.S. I completely agree with the insanity of adults constantly telling us teens that we don't know what love is and bla bla bla.

P.S.S. If you're still hesitant about him leaving without you, just think about the saying love conquers all.
Good luck!

OK... I understand all the point of views you are all coming from, and I very much talked to him... and he said he agrees 100%, but what bothers me, and please don't say I told you so, but he said he might still go. I mean please don't tell me see he doesn't love you as much as he thought you did or bla bla bla... but he said he MIGHT still go for a few months and come back for me quote unquopte but that doesn't make sense. I mean if you run away... why would you plan to come back in a few months? That doesn't quite grasp the concept of runniung away... though I am not going to officially. I am confdused there as well? Any more opinions? Im so sorry if I am asking to much:/

ok.... i understand all the point of views you are all coming from, and I very much talked to him.... and he said he agrees 100%, but what bothers me, and please don't say I told you so, but he said he might still go. I mean please don't tell me see he doesnt love you as much as he thought you did or bla bla bla.... but he said he MIGHT still go for a few months and come back for me quote unquopte but that doesnt make sense. I mean if you run away... why would you plan to come back in a few months? That doesnt quite grasp the concept of runniung away.... though I am not going to officially. I am confdused there as well? Any more opinions? Im so sorry if I am asking to much:/

Can I ask why he wants to run away so badly?

Are things bad at home for him? Does he think it will be fun? Why is he so intent on doing this?

Obviously something is going on and he thinks that running away is the only answer.

At least he accepted the fact that you aren't going with him, he didn't try to put a guilt trip on you or anything.

You're doing the right thing by staying put, you can't make him stay.

Do you think he'd be willing to sign up to this site and talk to us? Maybe we can get through to him. Find out what's going on. Get him some help.

As for asking to many questions. No, you're not. That's why we're here. :)

I agree with Altenweg... see if he will at least talk to us... who knows, maybe we can help... sometimes it helps talking to a stranger... and, by the way, I'm glad you're staying... :D

ok.... i understand all the point of views you are all coming from, and I very much talked to him.... and he said he agrees 100%, but what bothers me, and please don't say I told you so, but he said he might still go. I mean please don't tell me see he doesnt love you as much as he thought you did or bla bla bla.... but he said he MIGHT still go for a few months and come back for me quote unquopte but that doesnt make sense. I mean if you run away... why would you plan to come back in a few months? That doesnt quite grasp the concept of runniung away.... though I am not going to officially. I am confdused there as well? Any more opinions? Im so sorry if I am asking to much:/

Whe some one askes you "what is love?" What do you say? Is it that intense burning in the heart where you feel all euphoric and walking on clouds? When some one is committed undyingly to you and you alone, thus are willing to sacraficing their own happiness for yours? Is it a heated passion that drives you to do wild and unpredictable things for some one? Is it when two people are "ment" for one another, and they go against all odds to be together, and only want each other? Or...

Is love about taking reponsibility for the feelings/emotions you are experiencing and maintaining self control while "getting to know" some one, until you "learn" who they are. Then when you decide it's appropriate, and you truly do care for this person, you step out of the hold of self control and allow your every passion to flame high and burn bright with what some call "True Love". Knowing that you waited until you were safe, compatible, respectable, responsible, and "ready" to take these steps together and then build a mental, emotional, and Physical relationship on Truth, honesty, open to one another, and ultiamtely Love. "People who grow together, stay together."- Nestorian (Side Note: Just because I said, "...stay together." doesn't mean I was referring to then being in the same kind of relationship together. Just to clairify, as many people seem to think I meant that they did not separate. They stay friends essencialy.) Sorry about that, I"m not a strong writer, nor speller. :p

So, OP has your veiw on Love changed, I doubt it. Thats cool, but I thought I'd share my personal opinion on Love, and what it really means. I can't honestly say i've ever met any one who agreed with me, as of yet at least. I wish you well in your endevore, and I hope you keep in mind that "No one in the entire universe deserves your love as much as you do."-Buddha

Take care and may peace and kindness be with you.

P.S. If you focus upon one thing, your entire life will depend upon that one thing. If you open your mind, the possibilities become endless.

Allow life to happen, and try not to fight it. Be pliable, and flow with life.

Okay... one at a time... Nestorian- don't say that you haven't met anybody that agrees with you... because I do... somewhat... halfway:/

And thank you very much IWHO... :)


And altenweg.. He does have ti pretty rough. I mean I would understand why he wants to... but doesn't need to. He and his family do not get along and he fully does not love his family... especially his dad. His dad hits him.. but I wouldn't quite call it abuse... but he still does it for no reason. He wants to get away from his dad no doubt about it but he has to stay and the only reason his mother stays with his dad is because of the financial support. He has had a pretty bad environment as well... he isn't the msot poor hearted soul to feel sorry for out there... but he definitely shouldn't be ignored and he definitely isn't treated the way a normal teenager should be... I mean he deals with it best he can. He has attempted runnign away inordinate amounts of times before... but hasn't succeeded because of me.

He doesn't want to leave me behind but he can't stand his life here. He already does have an account (cause I told him to make one for me:P) but his name is bemus900523 or something like that. I will put him on my friends... I haven't seen to that yet.. and I would like it if you tried to talk to him... much thanks would be given.


Everybody- I have taken most opinions to mind... but just know some of them I read... thought about... and just didn't quite accept it. Not that it wasn't good or anything... and no offense... I just like to speak my mind. It doenst mean it waswnt good... all of opinions I have been getting is very helpful... just doenst mean I WILL for sure take it... thanks:)


But altenweg I owe you most thanks... everything you have said I have taken into thought and you have helped me out a lot here... so more opinions... please... I'm very hooked:)


Why would he want to do this? I mean I thought he felt strongly for me... why would he leave me for a few motnhs? But what's the point in leaving if you plan on coming back even before you even leave? Have any opinions? Does he just want attention? HELP!! :(

Sweetie, if his dad hits him, even if it's not often, it's abuse. He doesn't have to put up with it, he doesn't have to just sit back and accept it, there is help out there.

Sadly, that help will require him to speak up and it may get him taken from his home and placed elsewhere. But, he's planning on running away anyway, so maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Personally, I think he wants a bit of attention. This is how I see it, but I don't know him or his side of the story, so this is just a guess.

It sounds like his father ignores him, the only time he gets any attention is when his father hits him. You said he's tried to run away before, but he didn't, because of you. Could it be that he didn't because deep down he really doesn't want to?

When he talks about running away you pay more attention to him, right? It's only natural, I would pay more attention to him too.

Could it be that he wants you to go with him because he's afraid of running off on his own?

He sounds really confused, and running away definitely won't solve anything, especially if he plans on coming back in a few months. If he thinks his dad's mad now, wait until he comes home.

Also, he has to realize, the cops will come looking for him, most likely find him, force him to go back home or into foster care and then he'll be even worse off then he is now. He's a minor, he can't just leave because he wants to.

There are tons of resources available to him. I know they sound scary, I know that he might reject them because he'll feel like whatever control he has is being taken away, but really, if he goes ahead and runs away and succeeds, he'll pay for it for the rest of his life.

No matter what though, don't let this change you. I know, easier said then done. The thing is, you can't change him or what he does, you can only love him and accept him. But, you aren't responsible for the choices he makes, only for your own. You aren't responsible for his life.

I'm sure that you're feeling really stuck right now, don't know what to do, but sweetie, there really isn't anything you can do but talk to him, encourage him to talk to someone (like us) that can help him so that he has every option available to him. We'll do our very best for him and for you. :)

Sorry for the book. I got on a role. ;)

No no no, its OK altenweg... I like the opiniopns you give me... it makes me feel more... in control... more centered:)


But you I have talked to him and tried to encourage him not to but he is a tugff cookie to crack and yes it is easier said than done... he is hard to convince... but I left out a really importnatn fact you probably need to know...


He used to do drugs and drinnk... then he met me. That changed when he started dating me. Nobody he has ever dated has... enthiused... inspired him to stop it... until along came Sommer(me!:P) and when we broke up this one time... he got back into it again because it "calms and mollifies him" and when we gave the relationship another shot..,. he hasn't stopped again since. I mean,. he is trying but I think he is still doing it now and then. I have been told that he can't only stop for me... but for hiself as well. I mean what if we seperated(again.. ) then what? He is going to start it again... most liekyl. So the only way to give it up is to mainly doing it for yourself... though its sweet to stop for me as well:0...

So you see... he is like his own person... though he loves me(or so it is supposed to seem) I don't think I can talk to him about that... he just will ignore the subject. I'll try to get him on if you talk to him? Thanks:) and that sums up the story... but I'm still oober confused:/...
Tell me when you get tired of my asking for more? If you don't mind then okay... :) I would like that even more:)

I'll never get tired of answering, that's why I'm here, so as long as you want to talk about it, I'll be here to listen and respond. :)

He's 16 right? That's so young to be into drugs and alcohol. You're right, he can't do it for you, he can only do it for himself. Sadly, most people have to hit rock bottom before they're willing to do it. He's not there yet.

If you two do break up and he starts using again or drinking, you know that's not your fault. If you don't know it, I'm telling you, it's not your fault! ;)

Substance abuse is often a way to deal with other problems. Sadly it's just heaping more problems onto the existing problems and before you know it, all you have is problems.

He really would benefit from coming here to talk to us.

I've been through a lot of the stuff you're going through, a long, long, long, long (ya, I'm not that young anymore) time ago.

Also, I did a lot of the stuff your boyfriend is doing when I was younger too. It wasn't until I realized that I was digging a hole for myself that I was able to stop. It's not easy, especially when you have other crap going on to boot.

I don't know if I can get him to listen, but I can try.

I've got to run for a bit, time to get my kids to bed, read them a book, you know, mom stuff. I'll be back in around 1 or 2 hours.

I'm so sorry that you feel like you're carrying this burden, it's not fair, and you shouldn't have to go through it. You'll be okay though, really you will. :)

Thank you... somebody who understands what I am having to go through:)

Well... its always good to try...


But I am totally against that crap 100% because I know what it does to youy and I actually let that sink in my head so yeah... that's why I don't like him doing it... (and have you kissed smoker? I have, and its gross... :P)


So do you know what I should probably do?

I'm coming into this late - if his father hits him, he IS being abused.

My thought is that you can't save someone else. I hope that is not part of whatever you decide. My concern is that he drags you down whatever path he choses right along with him.

I'm an adult and I married my husband not because I couldn't live without him but because I wanted to be with him. There's a difference. There's also a difference between being crazy about someone and loving someone.

I do want to say that you have your head on straight - and listen to Alty.

and listen to Alty.

If I had room in my sig line this would be going in Judy! ;)

Sorry that I haven't been back for a while, lots of other stuff going on, it's never a dull moment.

Sweetie, what you should do is walk away. I know it's hard, yes it will hurt, but right now you need to take care of yourself, look out for your own future, not his.

He does drugs, he's thinking of running away, and he's dragging you into it. That's not love, and I think you know it.

It's going to be hard because you do care for him, but he has to find a way to get his life back on track, you can't do it for him.

Maybe one day, when he's figured it all out you two can be together again, but right now it's not in your best interest, nor is it in his.

Will he come and talk to us? If so I'm more then willing to talk to him, but whether he listens or not, that's a different story.

Big hugs sweetie, you've got a great head on your shoulders, you will go far in this world, that's a pretty easy thing to predict. :)

First of all it's important to understand that adults give opinions based upon their experiences in life and have drawn certain facts from them. So it is important to take the advice of your parents so you don't make mistakes that will have a very negative impact to your life. They are not telling you these things because they don't care or ever want you to have a boyfriend, they are telling you these things because they want what's best for you and for you to be with someone that is good for you. Being in love with someone can make you blind to certain things about them, especially at an early age. Your parents have had "practice" at getting to know what characteristics someone either has or do not have to be a good choice in a relationship. And most of these characteristics take time to develop. People are always learning these things throughout their lives. As we get older and go through more of these experiences with love and relationships, we learn to make fewer mistakes.
You and your boyfriend are still very young, running away would not be a good decision to make. And if your boyfriend would want what's best for you, he would not want you to run away with him. Wanting what's best for the one's we love without being selfish is the most important characteristic for any boyfriend or girlfriend to have.
Please take the time to consider what's best for you and give what your parents say some consideration as well.

Well I am taking all this in at one at a time but everbody please understand that if I take one opinion to mind and not the other its just because my head is like overly full like an over filled cup of water or something... but I do like to recognize the people I am willing to listen to...

Okay... JudyKayTee- I say that I have thought about that abuse think ijust don't know I'm still young.. though that's not an excuse... but it IS a reason, I really don't know the entire difference(maybe some difference but not all) of the difference between abuse and something else along those lines. But yes I do agree with you, I just don't quite know how easy its going to be to accept what your saying to myself in my head. Its very very hard to convince something you just don't want to believe to yourself, though it's the truth and probably must be done, sorry for that. And thank you very much for the compliment.. I think.

Altenweg- I know that you prbably know this by now but you are just (from what I heard) very inspirational to me. Everythime I get on I'm so excited to see what you have written me considering that you are just a big deal and you help me so much. Every time I come to check, I hope you have responded. You are amazing and I thank you so much for that. But I know everything your saying is true(again for the third time I think I have said to people overall) but like I said previosuly to JudyKayTee, though I know and it probably is true, its really hard to except that fact to not only other people but yourself, it is very hard like you have just said. It would take a while, but do you know anyhow this could be any easier or make the time go by quicker or something that wouldn't make it so hard... much would be appreciated thanks:)

And lastly sabrewolf- I do thank you for answering this post because I could use all the opinions (that I could hold without going totally insane:p) but anyhoo, much of the stuff you have said was somewhat a reapeat of what everybody else said but I would like to htank you for putting it in a different way to make it stand out, and I do understand...
I know I must listen to my parents and talk to them but its hard sometimes you know? I guess as much as I have came to realization about, I must take even more of everyhting ot mind as well, but everythings just so hard sometimes. Urg! I get so confused so easily sometimes its not even funny:(...



Now,I thought I would put in that I am glad myself that I didn't go because that meant I was able to keep my comitment to my team just last Saturday and it went so amazing. I did great on my dancing and I was one of the best dancers out there( so I've been told) and I have heard many comments saying I'm better even than most of the high school, and Im only in 8th grade. I was very shovked but very pleased I didn't go through with this, thank you all (even though we still have a problem on our hands... him.)


And plus, my parents do know what's best for me and I want to make them as proud as I can. And I think I just did Saturday. My daddy had just told me he sees his little princess growwing up and I'm such a beautiful young lady now and I am just growing up so fast. He was so proud of me along with my mom, and I don't want to risk anything to make his mind change, but its so hard with that guy you know?

I just don't know, I know I just must put an end to some things, but its so emotionally and physically hard:(

It sounds like you have two very wonderful parents that love you very much, that's a huge blessing.

Yes it's going to be hard to let him go, but it's what's best for you, maybe even for him. He has to stand on his own, you have to take care of yourself. If this is meant to be then it will be, no matter what, but right now you need to step back.

Of course I'm older then dirt (not really but I feel like I am) so I've been through the whole breakup thing, more times than I can count. I still remember the pain, the heartache, it hurt so bad. One thing that helped a lot was writing things down. You are are great at expressing yourself in your posts, so express yourself in a journal. Write it all down, the pain, the hurt, the fear, the joy. You'll be surprised one day to read back and see how far you've come.

Also, pick up a new hobby. If you like artsy things why not try scrapbooking, maybe you and your mom can do it together, make a family album.

Spend time with your friends, go out, have fun, be young (trust me, it goes by really fast, sigh).

There will be times when you cry yourself to sleep, when you'll feel like your heart is tearing apart, but you'll get through them, everyone does.

Right now it's about you, just remember that, stay strong and have fun. Before you know it you'll be, gulp, 38 like me, with two kids and you'll be here on AMHD giving advice to someone young because you lived it, you remember and you want to help. :)

Also, thanks for the kind words. It's nice to hear that I'm offering some help, it makes everything I do here worthwhile. So many times people come here and don't want to listen or don't bother to say anything. We all volunteer here, so a thank you is the most important thing to us. It means a lot to me so thank you for that. :)

I honestly think you should not go with him if he loves you he will cherish the days he has with you until you get old enough to be with him all the time... make him proof to you he is worthy cause you don't want to risk everythink for a boy its really not worth it I'm going through the same thing with a guy but I know that I shouldn't leave everything for him...

i honestly think you should not go with him if he loves you he will cherish the days he has with you til you get old enough to be with him all the time... make him proof to you he is worthy cause you dont want to risk everythink for a boy its really not worth it im going through the same thing with a guy but i know that i shouldn't leave everything for him...

Please read all the posts before responding. She isn't going with him, that issue has already been resolved.

Thank you and welcome to AMHD. :)

well, the thank you everyone gives me wants me to say than k you back because just that they realize my kiund words and taking note of it makes me feel good as well and then its just this repeated cycle of thank you's from the same peopel(haha:p)

anyway... it wouldn't be so hard to let go of him, if my friends weren't involved. Um, it would be easier to just let go of him, do what you said, journal, scrap book, something fun, except for the fact I will have at least two or three people reminding me about him every day. I have these three friends all a garde younger than I. (7th.) and they all three go to my school but this guy goes all the way in Aubery while we are a fair hour away in a little ole town called farmersville. I think I mentioned we had a long distance relationship. But these three people know him as well.

Girl number one: she is his just regular friend so I may not have to worry about her as much, so usually when I don't even want to hear his name, she's careful not to even think his name..,. make sense?

okay... girl number two... : we have a bit more of a pronblem here... she is BEST FRIENDS with him so I go to school and she is so eager to tell me something funny or hysterical or bla bla whatever about what she and him were talking about on the phone last night. She will always talk about her best friend. I had to get used to the fact of my best friend being best friends as well with my boyfriend... but if I'm trying to forget about him... she is just going to remind me of how much I miss him because hse can't help but talk about her best friend.


and girl number three... : OH MY GOD WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. So many times I have wanted to smack her upside her head; just give her wall to wall counseling sometimes you know? She just irks me to my last nerve and rolis me till my head hjsut spins. This might be kind of long... please bare with me:) She "claims" to be gay. Bisexual actually and I don't think she even knows the diference so whatever. But she think s of me as her blood sister, but then again she has this little crsuh on me. Well, I wouldn't say little... everybody always comes up to me and says "She is like in love with you!" she is like stalkish its not even funny. I just think the opposite sex dating is wrong. I have a strong belief in my god, but I think with some people I can just make a difference you know, and she was my next task. Now I know that I can't change her but she is an OK friend of mine. In fact, I wouldn't even call her a friend, more of an aquantince. But one minute she is telling me your like my sister, and then she even admits to my face like O Im in love with you or bla bla bla something like that. Well, I gave her my guys phone number once (big mistake). She is the biggest flirt you would ever meet and eventually she is starting to lie him, when I'm dating him myself. Then fast forwarding to now, she says she is just in love with him. Now she is smart enough not to tell me, she runs off and tells my best frined, and you know she is going to run and tell me. Now, she says she is in love with me, him, and worst of all HER FREAKING CURRENT BOYFRIEND AS WELL. I don't like calling names, Im bigger than that, but I'm just putting in that other people in my opinion would think of that as a little bit of a name starting with a w(if you know what I'm talking about.) Many times I have wanted to rip her head off or yell at her, but never have I. I was always the bigger person, the more mature. I have told her how I felt before, but in a mature way though. I mean of course I said it in a slam in your face kind of way, but to where it didn't make me sound like a total jerk. She tires to talk to him every day when he doesn't even like her all too much. She has lied to me before regarding things he has never said and she has lied to him. So usually when me and him get in fights, she is to blame for telling lies to one the other. It just irritates me and she knows and knew then too how much I felt for him but hse just keeps going and flriting and maybe even trying to win him back so every time I go to school, even if me and him are in a fight or broken up and she would even know too, its just his name here his name there oh he siad this he said that. And she lied just last month saying o are you still dating and of course I reploied yes and she was acting funny on purpose trying to get me to beg out of her what she wasw hididng. And when I didn't even bother noticing her childish, funny acting behavior, she just was like, "Oh i jsut got somethin out of him last night," and I just bothered to ask what, but very tepidly. Then she just innocently smiled like she hadn't said anything and said "Oh you heard that? I was talking to myself," but that was the exact tone and facial expression she used on people for attention, she is that type of girl. Attention here and attention there. But when I didn't bother answering she started "Talking to herself aloud" again and finally I just told her quite babblinh aloud on purpose and tell me what your wanting to tell me already please. So she was all like o he told me he likes me again, but don't tell him I told you, he told me not to tell you. And I mean come on I knew it was a lie and everybody I questioned told me so too so I went back up to her to tell her that nad she always in those kidn of situations tries to act so inncoent so its just hard. Every other name that comes out of her mouth is his, every other thought, is of him that I can see. Its really hard to let him go and forget about him when I have three people around me bringing back up the memory of him and remidning me of how much I cared for him:'(