coolchick14
May 4, 2009, 09:24 AM
I am 25 and the guy I'm interested in is 32. We have class together and began talking that way, just about school. After a while, he took my number and email. We casually began emailing at first, mainly about school, but about other things too. Later it moved into phone calls and texts, and occasionally online chat. We talk every couple of days or so, using school as the excuse to do so, but he'll always try to change the subject and asks me a lot of questions about my interests and such. He casually mentioned that he would take me for a ride on his motorcycle when the weather gets nicer, as a way of repaying me for all the help I've given him with this class.
I've invited him to a few different outings with friends, but he's always busy on the days I invite him. He sometimes seems like he's fishing for a date or to hang out, but never comes out and says anything. Finally yesterday, he asked me to have dinner after fishing for it and getting the right response from me. We had dinner and it was great. The conversation, of course, still began with school, but quickly switched to more personal things, like career and further educational goals, family life growing up, travel interests, etc. We joked around a lot and laughed a lot, which I think is a good sign. He also kept eye contact most of the time. We walked back to my building where he was parked. He didn't walk me to the door, though I think he may have thought about it and then decided not to. I thanked him for dinner (he paid and said it was his way of repaying some of his debt to me) and then he shook my hand, which I found extremely odd. As I was walking away, he told me he'd maybe call or text later if he needed a break or had any questions.
Later that night, I was still very confused by the hand shake. This dinner was not supposed to be a date, just hanging out casually, but the hand shake just seemed really odd to me, so I asked him about it. He joked about it at first, with a running joke we have relating to class, and then explained that he's known for the handshake and probably a hug would've been better. Later he asked if in my culture we hug and kiss to greet people and I said yes and that maybe next time I'd greet him that way. I also explained that I don't do that with men as much because fear of jealous girlfriends and he assured me there is no one to be jealous, so I can greet him however I want. I casually brought up the motorcycle ride at some point in the conversation and he said he'd still love to do that but the weather still isn't nice enough. We continued to joke around a bit until I told him I had to go finish working on the project.
Last thing I learned about him: he's recently divorced. I'm not sure how long ago, probably somewhere between a year or two. It's not a big deal to me because I came out of a very long-term, serious relationship almost a year ago. I still don't have a great read on his interest level, but I'm pretty sure he's at least somewhat interested, right? I hope I'm reading his signals correctly. Also, how do I get him to ask me out on a real date or is he just interested in hanging out as friends? What should I do?
I've invited him to a few different outings with friends, but he's always busy on the days I invite him. He sometimes seems like he's fishing for a date or to hang out, but never comes out and says anything. Finally yesterday, he asked me to have dinner after fishing for it and getting the right response from me. We had dinner and it was great. The conversation, of course, still began with school, but quickly switched to more personal things, like career and further educational goals, family life growing up, travel interests, etc. We joked around a lot and laughed a lot, which I think is a good sign. He also kept eye contact most of the time. We walked back to my building where he was parked. He didn't walk me to the door, though I think he may have thought about it and then decided not to. I thanked him for dinner (he paid and said it was his way of repaying some of his debt to me) and then he shook my hand, which I found extremely odd. As I was walking away, he told me he'd maybe call or text later if he needed a break or had any questions.
Later that night, I was still very confused by the hand shake. This dinner was not supposed to be a date, just hanging out casually, but the hand shake just seemed really odd to me, so I asked him about it. He joked about it at first, with a running joke we have relating to class, and then explained that he's known for the handshake and probably a hug would've been better. Later he asked if in my culture we hug and kiss to greet people and I said yes and that maybe next time I'd greet him that way. I also explained that I don't do that with men as much because fear of jealous girlfriends and he assured me there is no one to be jealous, so I can greet him however I want. I casually brought up the motorcycle ride at some point in the conversation and he said he'd still love to do that but the weather still isn't nice enough. We continued to joke around a bit until I told him I had to go finish working on the project.
Last thing I learned about him: he's recently divorced. I'm not sure how long ago, probably somewhere between a year or two. It's not a big deal to me because I came out of a very long-term, serious relationship almost a year ago. I still don't have a great read on his interest level, but I'm pretty sure he's at least somewhat interested, right? I hope I'm reading his signals correctly. Also, how do I get him to ask me out on a real date or is he just interested in hanging out as friends? What should I do?