I love my boyfriend to bits, everything is fab... apart from one thing...

If we go out together, say for a night out in the town, or go out with his or my mates or both, he gets this head on him, that is all money talk. All he can say to anyone involves money, and wondering if any celebritites will be in tonight, and discusses their income, and he goes out his way to get to know people that can do him deals. e.g last night speaking to a mate of a mate and getting himself into the VIP club room of his club for free, with free champagne, and all the football players of the team he supports. When we got there, we were on our own, but he still got this strange buzz from the whole VIP tickets (whic unfortunately are his to keep, so he can get 3 others in at any time). Last night, all he could do was plan out weekends of who he was taking there.

I find it so pathetic, money is not everything, and by no means is my boyfriend rich, Yes is a good job, got money to hand, but nothing like how he acts. He checks the menus for most expensive champagne and said when he takes his dad that is what they will have.

I constantly tell him money is not everything, as does his mum. But him and his dad are one to their own. It really annoys me. I tell him life is all about happiness and love and often money can bring bad times and falling out of love. To which he agrees and he knows I am correct, especially at home, when it is just me and him.

How can I talk to him sensibly to tell him how I feel, without falling out, a massive argument, upsetting his feelings. Or perhaps I should just turn a blind eye to it, considering it only happens when we go out?

In case you are wondering, he is 24, I am 21.

It sounds to me that you are trying to fix an aspect of his personality instead of trying to compromise behaviors. Regardless of his motivation, whether it's to impress you or make himself feel better, his desire to flaunt his connections and wealth are an aspect of his deep-rooted psyche, and it's something that he can only sort out on his own.

If you put too much pressure on him to fix it, he's going to end up resenting you. You can try to guide him a little bit, and you can let him know that it bothers you, but if he's not willing to work on it than that's his choice. It's one thing modify behaviors, but you're talking about his personality here. You should really consider accepting him for the way is, or if you can't do that and can't come to some sort of compromise, be willing to let it go. If you can't let it go, then you need to realize that it's going to fester and get worse over time.

Accept him for who he is, and work as best you can to help him sort it out. If he can't, then you need to prioritize the issues in your relationship and reconsider where you're going with it.

~ Tee

I say run away from this situation NOW. I know others may blast me for this, but you have no idea how much trouble you can get into by being around someone (or marrying someone) who spends money like him. Finances are the NUMBER ONE reason people break up, PERIOD... actually, divorce is what I meant.

Certain things can happen that don't follow you or haunt you the rest of your life. This isn't one of them. Debt and being frivolous with your money can have a HUGE impact on the rest of your life. You cannot fix this issue, it is something I believe he will face down the road. Some people like to live a life they cannot afford, and they usually end up bringing others down with him. If you were on a sinking ship, would you stay on?

There are certain red flags you see when considering a long term, HEALTHY relationship, and this is one of them.

I feel the same way KC does, money struggles put the biggest strain on relationships. It's not possible to change his way of thinking, obviously his mother has tried but he wants to impress people. You have to decide whether you can deal with this for however long the relationship lasts or to walk away

He is living a Champagne life on a Beer Budget.

I agree with the others. Money problems are the #1 reason for divorces. Time to find someone who does not have his head in the clouds.

I thank you for your interest in this post and advice. Can I just make something clear. My boyfriend is all TALK. He saves his money well, what I was getting at in my original post is that its MONEY TALK. He talks about celebs, and their money, he takes about his money, but he never spends his money, he is very tite and is saving for a house at current.
His parents (dad should I say) is a different matter... he is in a steady job, as is his mother, and they do spend a fair amount of money on eating out and drinking. If that makes them happy fair do's. I would rather spend money on clothes and make up and jewellery etc.
Does this make it any clearer. My boyfriend does not do what he says he might do, its all in the mind if you like? If that makes it easier to understand? But the talking of mind talk is what drives me mad. As you say though, I will never be able to change that, so its either something I deal with as we do no go out much or ditch him now... which is my choice