My best friend and I have only known each other for a short period. His wife, he, my husband I are friends... were friends. He was having marriage problems and I realizing I had married young, wanting an out. He and I got close. One drunken night he expressed his love to me. Things happened between us but then he pulled away to go back to his wife and kids. He says he doesn't love her only doing it for the kids. He told me he never wanted to see me again however he finds the lamest excuse to call me and see me. I have fallen in love with him and feel that I can't live without him. I felt that what we had even for a brief moment was real. I want to know if he loves me? Does he still think of me? Why does he keep calling me or looking for excuses to see me?

He was having marriage problems and I realizing I had married young, wanting an out

So are you still married? Or divorced are what??


One drunken night he expressed his love to me. Things happened between us but then he pulled away to go back to his wife and kids

Your friend has his own problems, and I think it best to leave him alone, and keep the boundaries of good behavior intact. Let him deal with his own unhappiness, and home life, without your influence or giving him an easy way to solve his problems by cheating. That does neither of you any good.

I have fallen in love with him and feel that I can't live without him.
That's a fantasy you built in your mind, because you think he is interested, and you know him. It would still be cheating, and you already know his first loyalty is his family, NOT YOU!

I want to know if he loves me? Does he still think of me? Why does he keep calling me or looking for excuses to see me?
I don't think so, your just a port in the storm of his life, and should really put a stop to his inappropriate contact with you.

Your an easy target for him. Don't be.

I don't think you can take too seriously what a drunk, married guy with problems says to you during a one night extramarital hookup. It also appears that he's shut down the opportunity for any kind of emotional involvement with you that is necessary for that 'in love' feeling. I think he's using you as a distraction and that's why he randomly looks for excuses to see you but I don't think it's anything more than that. I think your idea of being best friends with him is also taking things a little too far and possibly you are 'romanticizing' this too much.
Like Talaniman says, you've constructed quite a fantasy and you'll pay a high price for that when reality hits-hope you don't put yourself through that and see this for what it really is.

I couldn't agree more with Tal.


I want to know if he loves me? Does he still think of me? Why does he keep calling me or looking for excuses to see me?


I will only believe that a married man loves his mistress more if he leaves is wife. As long as he stays with his wife, that's his priority, no excuses.
He loves the booty call and attention, not you.