liz28
May 1, 2009, 07:29 PM
A Women's Guide To Male English
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
____________________
A Man's Guide To Female English
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now --
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my bum fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me! = [Too late, you're dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it --
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
____________________
A Man's Guide To Female English
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now --
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my bum fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me! = [Too late, you're dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it --
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?