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MRSMiLLS
Apr 30, 2009, 07:18 PM
I am sixteen &nd want a kid

MRSMiLLS
Apr 30, 2009, 07:19 PM
Hi every0ne im quita[kwee-ta]

I am 16 years y0ung &nd i feel the need to have a baby i have read questi0ns &nd answers ever0ne else have asked &nd have answered &nd bef0re i start i want to say this; i kn0w im y0ung (but there have seen younger); im n0t just c0ught up in h0w cute they l00k (i've seen ugly babies); my b0yfriend is t0tally d0wn f0r it (we've been talking f0r alm0st 2 years); i l0ve him &nd he l0ve me (we g0t that y0ung l0ve, but it's true l0ve).



n0w f0r my st0ry every since i was y0ung ar0und 10 i have been babysitting newb0rns &nd up all my life &nd still til this day i d0 i have gr0wn a passi0n &nd l0ve f0r babies... i feel the need t0 want 0ne t0 care f0r &nd l0ve i have a big heart &nd l0ve is all i g0t... i have had names f0r a little b0y (iwant a little b0y s0 bad) i've talked t0 my m0ther (n0t s0 much my dad he is in jail) but i've talked t0 my bf als0 we b0th want a s0n im writtin t0 ask f0r advice... i d0nt think i can get 0ver this



Xxxquitaxxx

danielnoahsmommy
Apr 30, 2009, 07:20 PM
Instead of thinking about yourself think about the kid you plan on bringing into this world. Stop being selfish and stupid!

MRSMiLLS
Apr 30, 2009, 07:23 PM
It's n0t that i kn0w that there are al0t 0f resp0nsibilties &nd i kn0w that i am very capable 0f taking care 0f a child... s0 i've heard that &nd that's still d0ne n0thing f0r me

ylaira
Apr 30, 2009, 07:24 PM
You can spend time taking care someone else's baby for now. You must be stable yourself first. It's different when you'll have your own, it's a 24/7 responsibility, At least of you don't have your own, you can just return it to the parent and rest. You must be financially stable to provide milk, diapers, ready if the baby will get sick and for the schooling.

Would you like to be a pediatrician? Then study first and have your own day care center too.

MRSMiLLS
Apr 30, 2009, 07:28 PM
Well like i said ab0ve me &nd my bf have talked b0ut it i have m0ney saved up cause this is really what i want &nd he said he was g0ne pr0vide f0r the baby; his family likes me s0 they c0uld help als0.. i w0uld like t0 be a ultras0und tech

danielnoahsmommy
Apr 30, 2009, 07:28 PM
I had my son when I was 33. He is now 6 years old. Besides the emotional drain you have when your child is sick or unhappy, there is also a financial drain. Both my husband and I have advanced degrees and good jobs. In order to provide the best for my child... I know you will want to as well. We are now in debit and would do it all over again.

How will you support this child... the taxpayers? Yes you I believe are a great babysitter... but it is different when the baby is your own. I know that you would love to have someone to call your own and I know you miss your dad... but this is not the way to feel loved. First you must love yourself before someone else can love you.

Wondergirl
Apr 30, 2009, 07:28 PM
How are you going to financially support this baby? Babies cost lots of money.

danielnoahsmommy
Apr 30, 2009, 07:30 PM
So how much money do you have saved. Do you have any idea how much it costs just to give birth?

Fr_Chuck
Apr 30, 2009, 07:31 PM
And the birth , doctors, hospitals costs 1000's, hope the plan is not using the welfare system.

But if you and boyfriend are in love that much, great, you will be together for the next 60 years, so waiting 2 or 3 to have a child is nothing in a life time.

Sorry it is far to young to be starting a family some do it, but it is very hard.

MRSMiLLS
Apr 30, 2009, 07:31 PM
I understand what y0ur saying that's why im d0ing everything in my p0wer t0 make sure that i can have a healthy child &nd will be able t0 supp0rt it

nikosmom
Apr 30, 2009, 07:31 PM
Babysitting is NOT the same as raising a child.

At 16, it will be very difficult to raise a child. How will you finish school? How will you support yourself and the baby? You can have all the love in your heart that you want, but that doesn't put food in that baby's tummy.

Yes, love is part of being a parent. But it's a whole lot more. It's complete selflessness. You have to do give up your life to take care of this child. You are not able to work and make a decent enough living to provide for a child. Or do you expect the rest of us to do it for you?

Great, that you know how to play with a baby for a few hours. Bravo. That's the easy part. But being a mother is a 24/7 job. How about this- stay in school, go to prom and football games, go to college, move out, THEN when you can support yourself, you can consider having a child.

And if this is "real love" with your boyfriend, you can wait until you are both adults to start a family.

Fuzzball_Kara
Apr 30, 2009, 07:36 PM
It costs thousands just to give birth.. And that's if you're baby was born without complications and naturally.. It's can cost over 10,000 dollars. Then even more thousands for hospitalization for you and for the baby's tests and after birth care.. You're looking at a huge bill here. Not to mention around a thousand a month if you're lucky. But more than likely it will be more

danielnoahsmommy
Apr 30, 2009, 07:37 PM
And what if you needed a c-section. Major surgery and recovery as well as additional costs and complications

nikosmom
Apr 30, 2009, 07:38 PM
WELL LiKE I SAiD AB0VE ME &ND MY BF HAVE TAlKED B0UT iT i HAVE M0NEY SAVED UP CAUSE THiS iS REALLY WHAT i WANT &ND HE SAid HE WAS G0NE PR0ViDE F0R THE BABY; HiS FAMiLY LiKES ME S0 THEY C0UlD HElP AlS0..i W0UlD LiKE T0 BE A ULTRAS0UND TECH

Do you have any idea how much it costs to care for a baby?? Daycare. Diapers. Formula (or a really good breast pump- both very expensive). Pediatrician visits. Insurance. Clothes. Shoes. Creams and Lotions. Medicine when they get sick. Missed time from work. Special foods (my son only drinks Organic Soy Milk).. . the list goes on.

So whatever you have saved up at the ripe old age of 16 is not enough.

And really, his family likes you so they can help? Why go into a situation expecting someone else to rescue you?

MRSMiLLS
Apr 30, 2009, 07:39 PM
Finishing school is n0thing i have help... [that's what fam[ily] is f0r... supp0rting me &nd the child is what my j0b is f0r &nd fam[ily]... nik0s m0m.. thanks f0r the advice... i understand...

danielnoahsmommy
Apr 30, 2009, 07:41 PM
If your family is supporting you on this, they are wrong. There job is to make sure you grow up safe and whole. Not to support you and whatever offspring you decide to have. You have no clue.

danielnoahsmommy
Apr 30, 2009, 07:42 PM
You are showing how immature and ignorant you are

mum45
Apr 30, 2009, 07:43 PM
Hi. You remind me a lot of my daughter. She wanted a baby from the time she was 14. I was so thankful that she graduated high school and got married (5 days after graduation) before she got pregnant! She had that beautiful baby boy a little over a year later. He is now about to have his first birthday, and you know what? His daddy left her and him just yesterday. The joyous wonders of being a daddy full time have worn off for him. And this couple have 5 years on you on age, and she 3 and him 4 years of being out of high schol! I am not saying you and your boyfriend don't love each other, or are not committed, I am just saying that the pressure of it all can ruin a beautiful loving relationship. The demands, the cost, all of it is so stressful you would not believe. A couple needs to spend much time to be together to cement their relationship, AND to get a good education for themselves first. Their bond is stronger, AND they are able to provide what their babies need. The physical things, plus the life experience that only a few more years of maturity gives. Plus the security of having a few bucks in the bank does help a lot as far as stress goes! I hope you think about what everyone has said and reconsider!

Fr_Chuck
Apr 30, 2009, 07:43 PM
First, don't yell, that is what all caps are, use proper typing please, we have received reports on your posts already.

Next no you have no idea it is not your parents or aunts or any family job to support you and a baby, it is only your job and that of the babies father.

It is obvious you really have no honest clue to what raising a child every day of the next 18 years would be. And sorry but most likely without the babies father who will change his mind normally after you no longer go out, you both end up living with your or his parents, he has to work hard to live in poverty since no one has a better eduction.

Fuzzball_Kara
Apr 30, 2009, 07:44 PM
You're missing out on so much! Education is golden if you want to get that job you want. I don't think any person on this earth can stress how important getting your education is... It is REALLY REALLY important. Too important to mess up so early!

nikosmom
Apr 30, 2009, 07:44 PM
FiNiSHiNG SCHOOL iS N0THiNG i HAVE HElP...[THAT'S WHAT FAM[iLY] iS F0R...SUPP0RTiNG ME &ND THE CHiLD iS WHAT MY J0B iS F0R &ND FAM[iLY]...NiK0S M0M..THANKS F0R THE ADViCE...i UNDERSTAND...

I'm glad you're listening...

We're speaking from experience... Even when you have a great pool of resources (supportive family, money saved, committed partnership)... it's still a very rough road.

Children are a drain. They are loving, little bundles of joy also. But they take everything you have. And you have to give it- willingly.

Even in a 2 parent household, where both parents are well-educated and have good-paying jobs- it's still very difficult. So enjoy being young and save the grown-up worries until... well until you're a grown-up. It will come soon enough.

MRSMiLLS
Apr 30, 2009, 07:45 PM
I understand but that d0nt mean just cause y0u have a g00d j0b &nd all that y0u c0uld take care 0f a child i kn0w a 15 year 0ld her &nd her baby are d0ing g00d... age d0esnt determin h0w g00d 0r a pearnt y0u are... l00kin at the age is what i think m0st 0f y0u are d0ing if i was a 22yr 0ld i think i w0uld get different answers &nd y0u never kn0w a 22 year 0ld c0uld be living the life 0f a 16 yr 0ld what y0u all think meaning they c0uld n0t be able t0 supp0t the child i kn0e that there are al0t 0f expences im n0t l00kin f0r s0m0ne t0 resue me but every0ne needs help at a certain p0int... s0 that's n0t the case yes his family like's me al0t acually &nd i d0 believe that i cn be a great m0ther

Sam_Felgen
Apr 30, 2009, 07:46 PM
Wanting a child so early is really stupid.

My mum said the same when she was 16 but she didn't do it. She didn't even marry the guy she wanted to have the child with. She had me when she was 31 and she was glad that she waited. She realized if she had a child that young she wouldn't be able to finish school or go out with friends and have a good time for like the first 5 years because she'd have to take care of me. She also wasn't that well off with money. As it has been explained babies cost heaps, probably more then you know.

danielnoahsmommy
Apr 30, 2009, 07:46 PM
I guess you have your mind made up so why write here... unless you are doubting yourself?

MRSMiLLS
Apr 30, 2009, 07:50 PM
mum45 &nd nik0sm0m i thank you... the rest are just yelling it &nd having attitude that's why im really n0t paying them any attenti0n &nd bl0win what they saying 0ff thank's you t00... i kn0w it's n0t up t0 every0ne else t0 supp0rt me &nd my child &nd it's n0t like im saying that that's g0in t0 be always cause it's n0t... &nd this is just h0w i type.. im n0t yelling!!

nikosmom
Apr 30, 2009, 07:51 PM
This is not just about your age... but yes it does factor into it. At 16 you are limited in what you can do for your child. You can only work certain type jobs due to limited education. Also with age comes maturity.

Yes, we've come across some immature 22 year olds and the advice stands. A baby is not just "something to do because you like kids". But it is very unlikely that you and this young man will be together until you're old and gray. If I'm wrong, then there'd be no harm in waiting a few years.

Fr_Chuck
Apr 30, 2009, 07:52 PM
Well you should have paid attention to my nice warning about your typing,

This post closed for failure to obey site rules.

Fr Chuck moderator

If you want to ask another question do so without all caps.