I am a single mom and my daughter is 12 years old and is already "well developed". Everyone from the town I live in (small town of around 400 people) comment on how tall and womanly she looks! She has had her period for about 4 months now. She is talking about boys more and more and I know I am biased but... she is a cutey!

My question is... how soon should I let her wear make-up? She wants to wear make-up now! This summer we had a family wedding and I put a little powder on her face and a little mascara. I don't like the idea of lipstick, eyeliner or eyeshadow but she thinks she can wear this stuff because other girls in her class where make-up to school daily.

HELP!!

First, she has to understand that you are the boss and you set the limits. Then you have to understand that if you set onerous limits, she will go behind your back.

Now the question is how much do other girls her age wear. Do you take her to school? Have you seen what is going on? If most of the girls are wearing makeup, then I would suggest giving in, but teach her how to apply makeup tastefully. If only a few girls are doing it, then suggest to her, that is a little too soon in your opinion and set an age limit (somewhere between 13 and 14) as to when she can start.

One very important thing when dealing with a child is be careful to pick your battles. Some battles are not worth fighting others you have to win.

I do not drop her off at school. A friend of mine does. I have been to school functions and see that these other girls are wearing make-up and some even dressing "sleezy". These girls wear foundation, blush, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick... (basically "the works"). I know some of the girls have a reputation and I know that this school has a bad rep (for a good reason!) Drugs and young girls having sex is a problem at this school. There are two schools in this town and one is public and one is a catholic school. The catholic school also has a reputation but they are more strict with what and how much make-up kids wear. I've thought about sending her to the catholic school as we are catholics but... I do not have the money to send her to the catholic school.

There is a youth group that gets together once a month and talks to a gal from my town. This lady has kids that use to go to school at this school but they are all grown. She is a friend of mine and she told me in confidence that kids in this school are having sex as early as 13 years old. I do my best to protect my daughter as much as possible yet... it is very SCARY! I do not let her get together with friends when they go watch a movie at a friends house when the parents are not there.

I don't want boys to get the wrong idea about my daughter! She is a very sweet little girl and she does listen to me! I let her do as much as I feel comfortable with letting her do!

P.S. It is not an option for me to move!

You didn't quite answer my question. I didn't ask how much makeup the girls who use it use. I asked how many girls are using makeup. Given the smallness of the town, I wouldn't imagine there are more that a couple of dozen girls in your daughter's age group. So lets say only 8 of them wear makeup. That means most of the girls don't. And you can stick to your guns. However, if it's the reverse, then you really don't have a lot of options.

Fitting in and peer pressure is HUGE at that age. If you force her to stand out, she will either go behind your back or greatly resent you. Like I said pick your battles. I would much rather let my daughter wear tasteful makeup and fit in, then have her imitate the "bad" girls. It is EXTREMELY important that you keep the lines of communication open with her. Winning this battle but losing that war, is not the way to go about it.

I also agree, that, at her age, she goes nowhere with a mixed group where she isn't chaperoned.

I appreciate your words of "wisdom" ScottGem!

Thank you!

My daughter is just about to turn 13 in November. She has asked to wear make up, but I told her it could give her pimples!! :eek:

So I let her put on a very, very light shade of tan or beige eyeshadow if she would like, of course I get to tell her if it is just right or too much. But once she heard about ZITS she changed her mind!!

Just a thought.

man. Thrilled mine is now 20 and on her own-ish (college student). Boy... those preteen, teen fights over makeup and clothing... =P

I agree on the point about teaching her how to do it tastefully. Shell still go her own way more and more, but you just have to pick your battles.

and keep the faith. That awful blue eyeshadow she sneaks on when she's at her friends in 9th grade, well, in time shell ditch that too. In hindsight, the craziness kept things interesting at least.

once there are big school dances like homecoming, prom, etc... there's just no going back. I know yours is a couple years away from that, but it comes up fast.

Thank you J 9 and kp2171!

She already has zits! She started getting them approx 1 1/2 years ago at least! I buy her a face wash which I try to get her to put on every night!

I talked to her about it again last night and she said that she only wants to wear make-up to school functions or special occasions. She said that 2 of the girls in her class were called clowns yesterday because the "boys" in her grade and grade above her thought these 2 girls were wearing too much make-up! She said that she doesn't want to get made fun of! I told her that it will be a while before I'd let her wear anything other than mascara, powder and a lip gloss!

I explained the phrase "Less is more"!!

It's important to remember that there is make-up, and then there's make-up... There is a difference between what a woman might use to conceal a blemish or look polished (make-up one would use, during the day, while at work), and what she might use to look elegant or exotic or "dressed-up" (make-up one would use when going out for an evening of adult pursuits).

Blush, lip gloss, etc. might be fine during the day, for work, and might make a young girl feel more confident or "grown up", or equal to her peers. Not much potential for harm there - in fact, there's a lot to be said for a gradual progress towards adult-like things.

But, really, it's somewhat inappropriate for a girl of that age to wear mascara, lipliner, etc. to a school setting. A schoolgirl should seek to emulate her teacher, in determining what is appropriate attire and make-up for school.

I agree there is definitely a difference. I let our 12 year old wear a little glitter, lip gloss and nail polish. My husband would probably prefer none, but I want to give her a little freedom. I don't think that would hurt. It makes her happy and it makes me happy. We both win... for now.

If you ask me, I'd say that she is just the right age to learn it's what's inside that counts. Tell her inner beauty comes within you, not what is on you.

As a father I forbade my daughter to wear any make-up or dress inappropriate for school (and anywhere else for that matter) That's when the wife pulls rank and tells me get a life.(Yes Dear) I tend to take the coward way out and let my wife deal with those types of issues.

I am a single mom and my daughter is 12 years old and is already "well developed". Everyone from the town I live in (small town of around 400 people) comment on how tall and womanly she looks! She has had her period for about 4 months now. She is talking about boys more and more and I know I am biased but... she is a cutey!

My question is... how soon should I let her wear make-up? She wants to wear make-up now! This summer we had a family wedding and I put a little powder on her face and a little mascara. I don't like the idea of lipstick, eyeliner or eyeshadow but she thinks she can wear this stuff because other girls in her class where make-up to school daily.

HELP!!!
OK well she should be able to wear makeup I have been wearing makeup since I was like her age. I'm 16 now. But guys obviously probably notice her because you said she's... well developed. But if you hold your kid back from wearing make up and guys she will end up growing farther apart from you more and more. I mean that's how I was I used to be close to my mother until she held me from hangin with me friends and basically everything. And now we barly talk. But just make sure then guys are good kids and u'll be fine

I loose track of what 12 year old is really doing in school, why not talk to the teacher at school and see if "all the girls" are really doing it or not.

It could be that 3 of the wilder girls are, and to her that is "all" the girls,

And lastly who cares if she is the only one not doing it also,
People are having and allowing young girls grow up way to fast. I am not blaming makeup for all the ills of the world, but add sexy clothes, add early dating and you add up a lot quick

Hellomy names Nicole and I'm only 17 but I was never able to wear make-up till I was a freshmen and I hated it.. I felt that as a 13 yr old girl I should be able to wear it.. I think that you should at leats let her wear it by the age 13 at least.. I just know how it feels to want to do things your friends do.I mean aslong as she doesn't cake it on you know.. and if she does tell her to lighten it up a little.. well I hope I could help.comment back if you like..

Just an idea, our church group had the Avon lady come and do a presentation for our girls, age 5th grade to 7th. She did skin care and then make-up and they all got to try on make-up. They loved it. Sometimes it is better if the guidelines and tips come from an expert that isn't "mom" --- then maybe they will listen on how much is enough and what is too much and what good taste is for their age... It was a great experience. I know Mary Kay ladies will do it, too. Each girl received a set of skin care products, compliments of the church. That was very nice.

Well I think that you should let her makeup,I am 12 and my mom lets me wear some makeup like lipgloss ,chapstick ,nailpolish but that doesn't mean that she wants to be an adult that means she wants to be more independent.

I think she should be 15 years old for make-up. Now lipgloss, nailpolish, would be fine. My daughter is also well developed when she was 12. She also like the low cut tops to show it off. We sat down and talked about it and we compromised on everything. She is 17 now and she has turned into a well respected young woman. Now she wears a sweatshirt to keep the starring at her all the time. Give it time I will pass. Just sit down and talk it out, and a little compromise goes a long way.

Personally I think you should let your daughter wear it. I meen, make up isn't anything bad. If you show her how to apply it properly and not the "sleezy" way the other girls at her school do it. Then I don think you should have a problem. Even if you show her how to apply it so it looks natural she could still be wearing eyeliner mascarra eyeshawdow and blush. All the stuff she wants to be wearing but you don't want her too at a young age.

Dear sister
I had read your mess in this stage you should love your child like friend share all with your daughter as soon as you watch her activity and every thing in dressing and meke up is not a matter because you are living in town so care your daughter like hen OK all the best

I'm a teenager and some people probably don't care what I think but... id say just let her wear mascara.. maybe take her to a "make-up class" wear she can learn what to do and what not to do. Not one of the "pagent make-up classes" but just go for the natural look.-paige

Makeup at 12?:eek: YIKES! Just be the boss, set the rules, and don't give in to pressure from her or other parents:)
Remember you are the mother and if you say no makeup, than you say no makeup

I'd tell her that you're the parent here, and you feel its best not to grow up too fast. A little eyeliner on her bottom eyelids shouldn't hurt, since it comes off anyway, due to the eyes always being wet. I'm guessing she is still in elementary school? If she is, try to set the limits that after the first quarter of 8th or 9th grade go by, and she gets As or high Bs she can wear some makeup. If she's worried about her complexion and wants concelear, try to convince her to wash her face before school, when she gets home, and before bed. Every bit helps. :-)
But don't rush into things too fast, because before you know it she'll be sexually active, and after that you could end up with an unexpected grandchild!
Not saying that will happen or anything, but by the time she's around 14 or so, she'll be pressured by the kids at school, she is already begun to be pressured with this whole make-up thing. And one thing leads to another.
As it may turn out, those girls that are wearing make-up and dressing slutty now will be the first ones pregnant in the future. Your daughter may dislike you for not letting her do certain things, but she'll get over it and in the long run thank you for what you did.

Good luck :)

A girl that's 12 shouldn't be worried about make up and what not and watch her around boys, being such a small town she might be temped to have sex way way to soon... I knew a girl once who lost her virginity when she was 11 and she lived in a small town to, just watch her, wouldn't want some guy to break her heart, she sounds like a very lovely girl :)

OK well my opinion is that you should let her wear make-up if she really wants to.she will probably just wear it anyway,and like put it on at school. I mean don't let her wear like bright blue eye shadow and pink lipstick, but I really don't think there's anything wrong with some natural-colored eyeshadow,mascara,and lipgloss.wouldnt it be better knowing that she's only wearing this instead of going to school putting loads and loads of make-up on?
Hope I helped! :)

Well, I am a pre-teen and my mom had the same problem, kind of, lol. Fist start on little make up, just the simple stuff you know. Unless a zit, which in these days is a total crisis, let her do a bit more. Have her experiment a bit on weekends and tell her what looks "hookerish" and what she can and cannot do. My mom did the same to me and I finally learned. But let her do some of her own style until it gets way out of hand. Then she will soon find out that the natural light look is good. Show her how to put it on and stuff. Show her the natural stuff first like a little bit of powder, mascara, lipgloss, bronzer, blush, the simple little things so she thinks she is like her other friends and their "cake faces" but she will have the natural beauty look. Also don't let her leave make up on throughout the night, then it will get really bad! Hope I could help and good luck!

I am a single mom and my daughter is 12 years old and is already "well developed". Everyone from the town I live in (small town of around 400 people) comment on how tall and womanly she looks! She has had her period for about 4 months now. She is talking about boys more and more and I know I am biased but... she is a cutey!

My question is... how soon should I let her wear make-up? She wants to wear make-up now! This summer we had a family wedding and I put a little powder on her face and a little mascara. I don't like the idea of lipstick, eyeliner or eyeshadow but she thinks she can wear this stuff because other girls in her class where make-up to school daily.

HELP!!!
I am 13 years old. Almost 14. & I wear eyeliner to school & mascara. Let her wear just a little not too dark but lightly.. maybe a little blush & some lipgloss..

Okay well when I was 12 my parents finally let me wear make-up and it just started as eyeliner and light colors and I've tried dark makeup and it does cause ance you should let your daughter wear makeup but make sure too let her know only wear heavy makeup at parties or on dates during school try too go for a more natural look,use light colors very cheerful colors. Also letting a teen wear makeup is like a step in growing up it makes them feel older and helps them feel better about there selfs. Hope I helped :] && good luck

Hi, Im a married mother of two and my daughter is turning 13 in about 3 weeks, she's very excited and so am I. But there is one small thing, her boyfriend, Trent who is already 14is getting her into more mature things... and now that he's going off to High School she boasts to her friends her boyfriend is an adult. I think this boy is BAD NEWS and I don't want my daughter being munipulated by his charm, what should I do.

12 is a pretty young age in general to wear heavy duty, but I was 12 once and I was also wanting to wear the works. (I didn't though) and you shouldn't let your daughter either. I suggest a clear lip gloss and mascara and that's it. No blush, eye shadow bla bla bla. Don't make your daughter out to be a tramp. Make it tasteful..

Single4, my daughter, too, is wanting to wear makeup. She asked me about this and I said "Not until you're sixteen, hon." I told her also that I would take her out to shop for makeup on that special day. I suggest telling your daughter that until she is what you consider an appropriate age, let her wear a bit of blush if she wants on special occasions. Until then, let her wear lip gloss. It worked to tide over my girl!:)

I am a single mom and my daughter is 12 years old and is already "well developed". Everyone from the town I live in (small town of around 400 people) comment on how tall and womanly she looks! She has had her period for about 4 months now. She is talking about boys more and more and I know I am biased but... she is a cutey!

My question is... how soon should I let her wear make-up? She wants to wear make-up now! This summer we had a family wedding and I put a little powder on her face and a little mascara. I don't like the idea of lipstick, eyeliner or eyeshadow but she thinks she can wear this stuff because other girls in her class where make-up to school daily.

HELP!!!

When I was 12 my mom didn't let me wear foundations and all that stuff and she still doesn't , but you could just tell her to wear eyeshadow and a lip gloss at school or something and she can wear make up at a wedding or special occasions that's what my mom told me to do and it works by the way if she already has pinballs and you tell her they get more with makeup she'll probably change her mind and stick with the lipgloss

I am a single mom and my daughter is 12 years old and is already "well developed". Everyone from the town I live in (small town of around 400 people) comment on how tall and womanly she looks! She has had her period for about 4 months now. She is talking about boys more and more and I know I am biased but... she is a cutey!

My question is... how soon should I let her wear make-up? She wants to wear make-up now! This summer we had a family wedding and I put a little powder on her face and a little mascara. I don't like the idea of lipstick, eyeliner or eyeshadow but she thinks she can wear this stuff because other girls in her class where make-up to school daily.

HELP!!!
Take this from someone who is a Pre-Teen let her wear makeup, like my mom lets me wear makeup because I am in public school and its normal to wear or want to wear makeup at her age for me it just brought my mom and I closer :)

I am a single mom and my daughter is 12 years old and is already "well developed". Everyone from the town I live in (small town of around 400 people) comment on how tall and womanly she looks! She has had her period for about 4 months now. She is talking about boys more and more and I know I am biased but... she is a cutey!

My question is... how soon should I let her wear make-up? She wants to wear make-up now! This summer we had a family wedding and I put a little powder on her face and a little mascara. I don't like the idea of lipstick, eyeliner or eyeshadow but she thinks she can wear this stuff because other girls in her class where make-up to school daily.

HELP!!!
I'm 12 yrs old and have been wearing makeup since I was 10, and lip gloss/stick since I was 8. I no we seem young to adults, but you got to understand, she's maturing. She wants to look older, and makeup is, you no, natural for a maturing girl to want. My advice is let her wear what she wants, but make HER buy it. And also, if she's getting acne, perhaps she wants the makup to cover it? Buy her acne wash and see if she lets up on the questions about the makeup... maybe that's what she wants to cover? If it isn't, better let her buy it. I hated my mom for 4 yrs just because she would only let me wear lip gloss. I hated her for three years before that because she wouldn't have another baby. She's GOING to get moody, she's maturing, but you might want to avoid it.

I am a single mom and my daughter is 12 years old and is already "well developed". Everyone from the town I live in (small town of around 400 people) comment on how tall and womanly she looks! She has had her period for about 4 months now. She is talking about boys more and more and I know I am biased but... she is a cutey!

My question is... how soon should I let her wear make-up? She wants to wear make-up now! This summer we had a family wedding and I put a little powder on her face and a little mascara. I don't like the idea of lipstick, eyeliner or eyeshadow but she thinks she can wear this stuff because other girls in her class where make-up to school daily.

HELP!!! well I wear makeup and I'm 11! What's the big deal? They just want to be pretty?. well evryone has there own openion so bye?:D

I am a single mom and my daughter is 12 years old and is already "well developed". Everyone from the town I live in (small town of around 400 people) comment on how tall and womanly she looks! She has had her period for about 4 months now. She is talking about boys more and more and I know I am biased but... she is a cutey!

My question is... how soon should I let her wear make-up? She wants to wear make-up now! This summer we had a family wedding and I put a little powder on her face and a little mascara. I don't like the idea of lipstick, eyeliner or eyeshadow but she thinks she can wear this stuff because other girls in her class where make-up to school daily.

HELP!!!

Let her where makeup ! I'm 12 and my mom lets me when she first said I could I wore it EVERY DAY but now I rarly do :eek: , Just tell her she can where eye shadow But Not dark eye shadow and she can where lip gloss ! She will like that ! And this way you have your way and she has hers !:D

Let her where makeup ! I'm 12 and my mom lets me when she first said I could I wore it EVERY DAY but now I rarly do :eek: , Just tell her she can where eye shadow But Not dark eye shadow and she can where lip gloss ! She will like that ! And this way you have your way and she has hers !:D

Is there anyne you can trust to do her makeup 1 time ? Maybe the both of you can enjoy a ladies day and get a makeover for her but make sure they keep it lite and tastefull. Something you might have to agree on beforehand with the person doing it. Have them reinforce your ideals of less is more and when your young your skin doesn't need makeup like us ancient ones.. lol
I had boys so make things were never an issue but I have also seen many friends go through just the stages your talking about. Seems she's already to compromise with not wearing it all the time only when its " special " and what's more special then a day with mom ?

Let her wear it, if she desires. If she is as matured as you say, it would be better. Don't let her go overboard though. Take timeout and talk to her about it and maybe go shopping for makeup with her. Good Luck.

I am a single mom and my daughter is 12 years old and is already "well developed". Everyone from the town I live in (small town of around 400 people) comment on how tall and womanly she looks! She has had her period for about 4 months now. She is talking about boys more and more and I know I am biased but... she is a cutey!

My question is... how soon should I let her wear make-up? She wants to wear make-up now! This summer we had a family wedding and I put a little powder on her face and a little mascara. I don't like the idea of lipstick, eyeliner or eyeshadow but she thinks she can wear this stuff because other girls in her class where make-up to school daily.

HELP!!!
Listen closley because I'm only going to say this once, don't let her get a big head, when I say that I mean this, if you let her act older than she really is she will be a total bicharooneedoonee

OK I'm a 13 year old girl and I agree with everything you have said I started wearing make up this summer and it try to keep it pretty simple with some eyeliner on my top lid and bottm
Usually I don't wear any eyeshadow but everyonce in ahwile I use goldish tones I'm prety tan so it goes nice with my skin oh and when I have some sort of blemish I wear a little coverup lol
But anway I try to keep my make up limited but I guess I go a little dark with the eyeliner but not to the piont that it loks extreemer and bad trust me once your daughter has gotten control over make up she will know when and what to use corectly like idid but if you do notice she I wearing too much and it looks bad be sure to tell her
It miht bother herr a little but its for the better you don't want her looking like a clown when sh egoes to school

:D
From a 13 year old girl 8th grade

Right, when I was 12, I wasn't exactly 'well developed' I started my period when I was 12 and I was already a 32C but I wasn't tall or anything. A lot of people said I looked older, so I hung around with the older lot and I could get away with it..
The only makeup I actually wore was mascara and eyeliner, nothing else, my skin was perfect.. pale with rosy cheeks, it still is in fact.. and my eyes are my best feature, big and a 'beautiful blue' as people describe them.

I think you should let her experiment, all girls want to do is impress their friends and look a lot more mature and older but you know the limits, if it looks horrid tell her, just let her experiment first! Take her to a make up store and get a professional make up done for her so she can see how it looks and how you think it looks?

X

I am turning 12 very soon, and my mother does not let me wear Mascara or eyeliner... etc. but I am allowed to wear a very light kind of eyeshadow(pink).I know how she feels because there is a lot of pressure on girls our age to wear mascara... etc. but just remind her that she is only a preteen once!And through-out the school day she will forget about mascara.. etc!

Good luck!:o

Im 15 and I've wore makeup for a while. Right now I wear simple make up most of the time, couldn't live without my powder, mascara and eyeliner. Sometimes my eyeliner is pretty dark but not all the time.
I think she's all good to start at 12 but it has to be applied right and not smothered on her face. Warn her about being orange though, most 12/13/14 y/o's go through that stage and lets face it, it looks absolutely aweful.

Let her, if you don't let her do stuff now (logical stuff!) she'll be more rebellious in the future. If she is strong willed and independent then that will make it even harder for you

Hii..
I'm a 13 year oldd... and my mother let me wear make up at 9-10. But I just started wearing eyeliner and mascara.. I only wore eyeshadoww... but at 12... maybee a little eyeshadoww... to bring out her eyes... :)

But not too much makeup.. not to look like a clown..

Kids Need To expiriment, Here's a small story:
Kira never let her daughter Wear makeup, date, Or get peircings/ tattoos, Then one night, Kira's Daughter came home with a tattoo, LOADS of makeup, and a boyfriend!

If you don't let them do anything, SHE WILL Go behind your back, My daughter is 11 and she wears makeup, you need to understand that soon, ( when she starts getting pimples from makeup ) She will choose on her own to stop, or apply just a little bit. LET HER!

Let her wear the make up and sit down with her and show her how to out it on but while your doing that explain that the less make up you put on because she sounds gaorgus without it and only buy her foundation to statr off with it and phase it because she mite get bored of it till she a bit older and of she really wants to wear it she'll find away to do it with u knowing

I have two daughters 1-15 and 1-10 my 10 year old is not allowed to wear make-up at all but my 15 year old is allowed to wear eyeliner, maskcera, and lipgloss after I gave my approvale for tasteful makeup she was excited and wore it often but after a few months it was too much of a hassle and now she rarely wares it... I think the best way to handle it is for the two of you to go shopping together for it let her give her opinions and if it is color you disagree with give her other options also I told my daughter that make is suppose to look very natural like your not waring anything and showed her how to apply it correctly and then I showed her pictures of models in magazines that looked very natural so she would know that I am not an old fuddy duddy but that the style now is very natural... I really hope this helps some I know how hard it is now days to teach our daughtes to make good choices for themselves and not to worry so much about what other are doing.

I really need to start looking at when things are posted before I add to them. Haha