Where do I stand on my new husband adopting my children. My ex husband never really see or pays for his children.

If your ex is willing to relinquish his rights, your new husband should be able to adopt them. Many states require you be married for a year first though.

If he is not willing to give up his rights, your husband stands almost no chance, barring having the father deemed unfit (harder than it sounds)

Hi, I adopted my husbands children a year after we were married and the children's mother was still in the picture. She wasn't paying child support but she was seeing them.

I would look in the yellow pages under Family Law for a Lawyer who will give you a free consultation.

When I adopted mine I was working for a law office and I did all of the paperwork and filing. I didn't have any problems having the mom served and having her sign the paperwork. She didn't fight it. The publication in the paper was 21 days and within 45 days my children became mine. She didn't contest it in the 60-90 days after either.

You say that your children's father isn't paying or seeing them, it sounds like your husband and the whole family unit is in the best interest of the children. Hopefully you will be able to locate him to have him served. If you can locate him, make it quick and don't use *fighting words* with him, he has what your husband wants and he may hold it over your heads. Does that make sense?

Good luck! My Three children have been mine since they were 6,7, and 8 and now they are blessing me with grandchildren :) I would adopt them all over again.

Generally you need an attorney to preapre the parperwork. So shop around for one and they will tell you where you stand and what you need to do.

If your ex is willing to relinquish his rights, your new husband should be able to adopt them. Many states require you be married for a year first though.

If he is not willing to give up his rights, your husband stands almost no chance, barring having the father deemed unfit (harder than it sounds)

That is such a wise answer thank very much.

Hi, I adopted my husbands children a year after we were married and the children's mother was still in the picture. She wasn't paying child support but she was seeing them.

I would look in the yellow pages under Family Law for a Lawyer who will give you a free consultation.

When I adopted mine I was working for a law office and I did all of the paperwork and filing. I didn't have any problems having the mom served and having her sign the paperwork. She didn't fight it. The publication in the paper was 21 days and within 45 days my children became mine. She didn't contest it in the 60-90 days after either.

You say that your children's father isn't paying or seeing them, it sounds like your husband and the whole family unit is in the best interest of the children. Hopefully you will be able to locate him to have him served. If you can locate him, make it quick and don't use *fighting words* with him, he has what your husband wants and he may hold it over your heads. Does that make sense?

Good luck! My Three children have been mine since they were 6,7, and 8 and now they are blessing me with grandchildren :) I would adopt them all over again.

Hi thanks for taking the time to answer. I know for a fact that he would hold it over my head the my husband is not the father of my children. He would just do it to spite me. I asked him before and he said not a chance. But my husband now dose more for them than there own father dose its heartbrakin.

If your ex is willing to relinquish his rights, your new husband should be able to adopt them. Many states require you be married for a year first though.

If he is not willing to give up his rights, your husband stands almost no chance, barring having the father deemed unfit (harder than it sounds)

Thank you for your support... but I think your right I know he will not give them up so I don't think I have a leg to stand on..

where do i stand on my new husband adopting my children. my ex husband never really see or pays for his children.

Are there custody and support orders already in place for the children ?

Califdad beat me to the next question. If there are orders in place, I can tell you what my current husband did when he adopted his son. His son's father owed child support and my husband told him that he had a choice. He could either go to jail for unpaid child support or he could relinquish his rights and not have to pay anymore child support again. Now, mind you this was back in the 1980's and it was in a Northern State. The laws were probably different then.
I still stand on the advice of getting a hold of a family law lawyer that will give you a free consultation that you and your husband both can attend.

Are there custody and support orders already in place for the children ?

No I have the children for the last 3 years and he only lives 1 hour from where I live and he only has them when it suits him, every week he drives not far from where I live and he can't even be bothered to pop in and see them and the it is me that gets it in the neck from the kids saying what a waste there dad it.. its heartbrakin to see there faces when he lets them down all the time he don't deserve them fact... he says he loves them but he has a social life and that's it and when I ask him for money and I say about the CSA he says he will leave his job so I won't get any..

If the father is willing to give up rights than you have it pretty easy. It will be adoption and court costs really. But if he doesn't than I don't really know how you can pursue it. I just adopted my daughter, her father signed over all rights and it was the adoption cost and normal costs for the court but that was it.

My *heart* feeling is take the emotion out of it when he doesn't call or come see them: when you have to see your children upset. Don't be angry at him... yet. Keep a log of everything said, not said, done, promised and promises not kept. Dates, times, keep it handy... it will benefit you, believe me. Do not let his threats stop you. HE wants you to back down and stop. (He is still pushing your buttons! (This is from woman to woman! He is your EX for a reason, Keep him and EX. Look to your husband for support and reassurance when EX starts to threaten.)) You and your husband will have your family. It will take time and lots of faith and hard work. It may take allot of money too, maybe not if you can just wait and keep that diary going. My brother also, when he was 18 had his name changed and paid to have my sisters name changed, she was under 18. It may not be about Adoption. Please think about it. I know this may not make a whole lot of sense. I think you can understand what I am saying though. Keep a log! And redirect the kids when they start in about their father- Your husband is dad. My husband now is dad, their *sperm donor* is their father. Your kids know the difference. :) When their father was brought up and it made them mad or sad. We went outside. They released whatever emotion they needed to and then we came inside. Their father was never allowed *inside* our peaceful loving home. Our children know what love is and who mom and dad are. I hope this helps. I am not a lawyer and don't pretend to be. I am a MOM, and a grandma.

I hope this helps. I am not a lawyer and don't pretend to be. I am a MOM, and a grandma.

Please note, since you are new here, that this is the Family Law forum. Responses here need to be factual and accurate, plus they need to deal with the question asked. Your last response was none of those things.

The OP simply asked about how her husband can adopt the child. She asked for no advice about dealing with the bio father. Previous responses in this thread were OK, but this last one was out of bounds.