This is most likely a stupid question, but my thoughts are so jumbled up that I just don't know what to do. My father has gone terminal recently, only a few months to live, but I live in Alaska while he lives in Georgia. I am going to go see him soon, it's just, months before, I set up a vacation to Canada to visit a close friend.

Now normally this would be a no brainer, but I made that trip to see my friend because it's been years since we've seen each other face to face, and living in Alaska is so stressful, I hate it here, the difference between Georgia is so great. So I've been heavily stressed for months, close to a year, and then this came up.

So, I ask, do I cancel my trip to Canada and spend a whole month with my dad? Or go to Canada for a week to attempt to relive some of my bent up stress and go to Georgia for two weeks?

your call brother.

Write out your values, goals, pros and cons of the situations, then prioratize. That may help you figure it all out.

That way its on papper and you can see what you are thinking rather than rolling over the same stuff over and over, till you snap.

What means more to you?

Now a new problem has risen... I was thinking about canceling both trips and getting a new one, but when I called up the airlines to attempt to, I find out that refunds are only done within twenty-four hours of the original purchase, and credit to use on another flight is an extra 150 or so, for each. After I found this out, I decided to just do things as before, but then my brother calls me from Georgia, telling me that 3 weeks might be to long.

That's not all though, the main reason that this is a problem is because I'm broke right now. I had to recently move out of my old apartment because our roommate (and ruler of the household) decided that me and my girlfriend were just to many people in his space, so I had to find a new apartment, buy lots of appliances, pay rent for my girlfriend and roommate, (loaned the money of course) buy food, and then all of a sudden I get asked to come to Georgia, so I bought that ticket too, just to end up changing it after, so I'm really low on funds.. I have barely enough to afford rent at this time...

Try making a budget, that way you know how much you have to spend, and make your trips as cheep as you can. Stay at your brothers, even if it's on the coutch floor, and your friend in canada, stay with them. You really have no choice.

Talk to your GF, and if you are paying her rent, find out when she is paying you back let he know you are strap for cash and she too will need to suck it up for a time till you're both up and running again.

Cut out any extras you don't need, like beer or going out for meals, unecessarry groceries, and so on. I know it bits but, sooner or later we all got to do it to get by for a little bit. It won't be forever, you just got to make it through. You seem like a smart, strong, independent guy, so be mindful of it.


Good luck

Money isn't the only problem, it's the fact that if I don't spend the extra amount of money, then I end up risking the chance that my dad could die before I see him for the last time.

Money isn't the only problem, it's the fact that if I don't spend the extra amount of money, then I end up risking the chance that my dad could die before I see him for the last time.

Do you have a credit card? I know that's like blasphamy but, I'm not sure what you really could do. Maybe go post something about the plains and what not in a nother thread in the finaces area? I really don't know what to say.

I wish I had a better ansewr, if I stumble on anything of use I'll let you know.

Good luck.

Do you have a credit card? I know that's like blasphamy but, I'm not sure what you really could do. Maybe go post something about the plains and what not in a nother thread in the finaces area? I really don't know what to say.

I wish i had a better ansewr, if I stumble on anything of use I'll let you know.

Good luck.

Thank you for the time you've put into answering my questions, it is very much appreciated.

No worries mate. I hope things work out.

Hi I read all the posts in this thread. I am going to make a couple of suggestions, I hope there helpful. If I were in your place (which I was about 5yrs ago) It is a hard place to be. Anyway look at it like this, Is this the only chance you will ever have to see your friend? Of course as far as you know it isn't. But it is your fathers. I would have the airline ticket give me credit for a later date for the one to my friends if this is possible and suck up the $150 fee. I would get to my fathers and spend every precious minute I had with him. You can always go another time to see your friend. Believe me you will not regret it like I do now. I made the wrong choice last time and I still live with it. That was 2001 when my mom died. I had the same thing to decide again in 2005 when my dad passed away. I got to Florida as fast as I could and my sisters and I had some precious time with him and with each other.
After all of this is over you will need a friend, that will be the time to go visit then.
Im not trying to make you feel guilty by no means I just hate to see you deal with the feeling I have to deal with. Take care, and be good to yourself. I hope it will all work out

Pssss as for money, its just money, we spend it, loose it, make it, save it and need it... in the end its just money.

What is your fathers current condition? Is he up and about or in hospice or somewhere in between? I ask because I have made this decision several times based on how well the loved one is compared to the last time we were together. My uncle, who has been like a father since my parents died, past two yrs ago. Six months before he was able to come and stay with me for 2 months. It was wonderful. At the end he was weak and bedridden. I chose not to go to the funeral in order to preserve the memories of our last time together.
I hear the struggle in your words... you don't have to go... but you own the decision.

Nothing else matters. Your dad does though. Go see your dad because you can see everyone anytime.

You look at all of the angles and make a decision that you will look back on as the right decision in 2 years or 5 years or 10 years.

I would not have any trouble making a snap decision like that. You only have one dad. Why would you even ask for advice on this ?

I would not forgo precious moments with a parent to save a few bucks.
I think relationships are more important than money, so if you have to, borrow money from from willing family members.

My mom was given 6 months to live, died 3 weeks later.

Don't risk it, go see your Dad before it's too late and you have to regret it for the rest of your life.

Good luck.