OK I'm new at this whole talking about feelings , so bare with me.

I've been with my girlfriend for about a year now. I've known her for years, almost 10 to be exact. Through all the years I've known her, we've had some sort of relationship. We've been friends, best friends, enemies, boyfriend and girlfriend, pretty much everything. When we started going out before, everything was amazing, but I messed it up. A year went by and I hadn't spoken to her. I owed her some money (nothing like that, don't worry) and it came to a point where she needed it. I alway's pay my debts, this was just one I forgot about. So she asked and I agreed. We met up and decided to go grab some food. It started from there. We started talking again and then I tried getting back with her. I always loved her and was stupid to let her go the first time. She told me there was another guy. I fought and fought and eventually found out the other guy was someone I knew. It hurt a lot, but I forgave her. We started going out but things were never the same. We started fighting over everything. She broke my trust a few times and I forgave her each time. Recently, I found some emails she sent to the other guy. Nothing recent, but when they were together, and she seemed so happy. I tried talking to her but we ended up fighting and I ended up breaking up with her. We've broken up a lot of times and we always got back together. But this time was different. She didn't even try to convince me not too. She said she cares about me and all that crap, but there was no love there. We we're the type of couple that always spoke, for hours. I msg'd her phone a few hours ago, which for us is a long time and haven't heard anything back.

Basically, I'm wondering what I should do. I know I could end it, say goodbye and move on. Girls aren't really an issue for me. But I don't want too. Even though I'm not the happiest person in the world, I still want to be with her. But I want to be happy with her. I want to have a proper relationship. I've told her this and we always try but something always happens and we go right back to square one. Maybe this is the end of the road? I don't want it too be. I've worked too hard for this. I've even asked her to marry me. She said yes, but we ran into some parental problems and basically were forbidden from seeing each other. We decided we would still fight. But I don't know anymore.

So I know it's not really a question, but I'm sure someone has some decent input. It would help.

Sometimes there is so much fighting and baggage that it erodes the foundation of a relationship.

Sometimes there is no going back.

If you keep chipping away at something,it just disappears after a time.

You need to work on your communication if you ever hope to be at a healthy place in this relationship but sad to say,it sounds like there is just too much negative to turn it into a positive.

You say you have worked too hard at this but hard work is communication,learning the tools for fair fighting,the art of compromise.

If you have done those things to no avail,then you may need to rethink the relationship.

firstly, how old are you?
if things aren't working as boyfriend/girlfriend don't try and force each other to be together. If she is happier with this other guy, let her go her way. Just because she isn't with you in the relationship side, doesn't mean yous can't go back to being the best of friends.
be her shoulder to cry on, give her advice when she asks if her butt looks big in a dress (lol- say no :\ haha ^-^) and maybe one day she'll start seeing you as more than a friend.
other than that.. don't try and force what cannot be. Sometimes we have to face up to the harsh reality, but like my mum always says "there's always a different way around figuring things out" which there always is, we just have to think outside the box.
hope that helps

I'm new at this whole talking about feelings

It's time that you get good at it, not only expressing your feelings, but understanding those of others as well.


she told me there was another guy. I fought and fought and eventually found out the other guy was someone I knew. It hurt a lot, but I forgave her.
You weren't even in a committed relationship at that time! You really don't understand relationships, and would be wise to learn how healthy relationships work. Short answer: you can't get what you want by fighting.


We started going out but things were never the same. We started fighting over everything. She broke my trust a few times and I forgave her each time. Recently, I found some emails she sent to the other guy. Nothing recent, but when they were together, and she seemed so happy. I tried talking to her but we ended up fighting and I ended up breaking up with her. We've broken up a lot of times and we always got back together. But this time was different. She didn't even try to convince me not too.
Maybe she's had enough. Maybe not. But you are going to have other relationships and can learn from your mistakes in this one.


Girls aren't really an issue for me.

Why not? Has it come to you easily so far? Is this one a special challenge? Maybe you are getting a bigger picture now and recognize the need to learn. It takes some humility.


I still want to be with her. But I want to be happy with her. I want to have a proper relationship... I've worked too hard for this..
Have you? You've fought really hard, and I presume that's why you have "parental problems." They don't think this is a healthy relationship. To make one, you have to work hard on yourself, not on her (That's her job.) which means you give up behaviors and attitudes that worked in high school, but that don't carry forward into adult life.

That's really hard. You have to listen more, reflect more, learn about yourself and the things you do that generate fighting, and grow into a good relationship partner. Are you ready for some of that?

Be single for a while so the emotional dust can settle, and you can think better, Without her influence. You really have to learn to cope with your own feelings better.

Hey dude, I've been in a similar position as you. You said she seems so happy with other people and when she is with you it is constant arguments. Keep in mind if you truly love someone you would want them to be happy even if that means letting her go.

You also said you worked so hard and you feel its hard letting go. Love does take work but if its taking too much work to sort things out, it might be for the best to move on and find one that is less complicated.

If there is no love there after all this time, it is best to let go and actually find something that does have it. You can't force love. Its time to move on and let go of her bro, I know its hard but I think its for the best in this situation. You will find love again. Best way is to stop contacting her and do the things you want to and be happy without her.

Best wishes,

- none12345