I never got an orgasm with my boyfriend although we have great sex and am tired of faking it , cause if I told him he will get really pssed at me , and he always tells me that I need to loose weight, I don't know what to do .

It's obvious why you don't have an orgasm your not comfortable- nor should you be! He told you to lose weight, did he even say it in a caring manner or was it out of anger or spite?

Sarah

I think the thing you should lose is the boyfriend! He should not be telling you to lose weight! That is down right mean spirited. You should find someone who accepts you the way you are! You should never stay with a man that berates you or tries to destroy yourself confidence!

You should dump the loser and find a man that satisfies your mental and emotional needs and perhaps then your sexual ones as a side note. A relationship based solely on sex is doomed.

I have to disagree just by a bit.

I think if you tell your partner they need to lose weight because of health reasons then that is OK. I think it's okay to tell them that they could benefit from losing a few pounds when they ask you "am I fat?".

However this guy is repeatedly telling her which is cruel in which she does need to lose the boyfriend.

That's just my opinion.

Sarah

I know that he loves me and he is telling me to loose weight cause he loves me but I don't know I love him so much , but maybe he is not saying stuff in the correct way . I don't really and I can't just dump him there is a lot between us , I know him from 4 years and this really hard .

First, it is a horrible disservice to yourself and your partner to fake an orgasm.

Second, your relationship doesn't sound healthy, in fact, it sounds quite toxic, but there is only limited information given.

Third, if you are not emotionally comfortable with your relationship it will be difficult to achieve an orgasm. Many women never have the opportunity to orgasm during intercourse. Women have to talk to their partner and share what they enjoy and be comfortable enough in the relationship to relax and enjoy it.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/best-friend-boyfriend-things-getting-really-dull-now-wat-should-do-345564.html

View her other thread. This guy is an absolute jerk. He is in no way trying to help her health, physically or mentally.

OK justwantfair tell me what do you want to know so that you can help me

i know that he loves me and he is telling me to loose weight cause he loves me but i dont know i love him soo much , but maybe he is not saying stuff in the correct way . i dont really and i can't just dump him there is alot between us , i know him from 4 years and this really hard .

The real question here, is do you love you?

You have been in a relationship for four years, while faking orgasms the entire time.

Telling a partner to lose weight is extremely difficult and if he told you as blunt as you need to lose weight, he isn't considerate of your feelings.

Something more appropriate would be to start eating healthier, start working out together, more physical activities.

I don't think this sounds like a very healthy relationship or communication.

You should leave the relationship that's what you should do. This guys sounds like a jerk. I know jerks- my ex was a jerk. He's just going to beat you down.

Leave him- you'll feel a hell of a lot better-- I can promise you that!

Sarah

Taking the other thread into consideration...

What you need to do,

Come to the states and finish your education. If he is not willing to wait for you while you build yourself then he wasn't much of a boyfriend to begin with (which he isn't).

I would imagine he is your first 'true' love, but you need to worry about you. You are young and have a whole life ahead of you. You will change and grow if you continue your education and stepping away from this toxic situation maybe just what you need to find out about yourself and make some brand new friends, while gaining incredible experiences.

The REAL question here is: How old are you?

From reading your other posts it sounds like this relationship is a one way street.
You give him everything and get nothing in return.
That is not a relationship,that is him using you.
You need to honor and respect yourself if you want others to do the same.
The only thing you need to lose is him.He is excess baggage and then work on your weight ,if it is bothersome to you!

Do I love me ? You
And does he love me yes (I think ) I thin he don't love I think he is just used to me like am in his life and if I leae him there will be a whole lot of emptness in his life .

And he was my best friend for 3 years and I have been with him for a year and yes I do fake an orgasm for a year and we can't exersie or do anything together because we don't live together and I live in saudia araiba and he does tooo and its illegal her to see guys and hang oyt with them just like that . I will go to jail for that .

And maybe he is telling me this cause he is used to tell me this while we were friends .

Am 20 years old

am 20 years old

Then please type like an adult.

Chat speak is not allowed on Ask Me Help Desk, but especially not on the Adult Sexuality boards.

If you use chat speak, I assume that you are 13 and too young to talk about sex with adults.

OK

i never got an orgasim with my boyfriend although we have great sex and am tired of faking it , cause if i told him he will get really pssed at me , and he always tells me that i need to loose weight, i dont know wat to do .

Honestly if he does not love you the way you. You need to tell him goodbye. You should not have faked orgasm in the first place. Why did you feel the need to fake it and give a show to your boyfriend? Most women do not orgasm during sex. It can and does happen but there are more stories of women who can not. So you need to communicate with your boyfriend. Tell him that you enjoy sex and it is awesome but I do not get a orgasm. Who cares if he would really be pissed at you. If he is telling you to lose weight? Is this Lose weight because I am worried about your health or lose weight or I do not want to be with you? You need to ask him these questions. My honest opinion from what I have read is that It sounds like this relationship is more about the sex then the relationship, THERE IS NO COMMUNICATION.

For those of you who have not seen it here is the other thread and half of the puzzle:


I had a really good friend and he know me so good and I told that I loved him and we back boyfriend and girlfriend and now we have been going out for almost a year and I enjoy being with I'm and time passes soooooo fast and I love him to death , but the fact that he tells me from noe that we will never ever get married and that am getting fat and that our sex life now is sooo like a routin and that I caught him ling to me in my face really hurts and I have sacrifsed a lot for him I mived from egypt for him and am not going to the states to finish my university just for him so that I can stay with him .

What should I doo he always wants more from me what should I do ?

I agree and that is what I have thinking latly that it's more about the sex and there is no communication .
How can I communicate with him ?
And + I live in saudia arabia and when I go over to his place there is no time so we take every chance to have sex and we mostly communicate on the phone the whole time .
We never went and had dinner before or take a walk or go shopping together or any of that because its illegal and when I see him its very risky .

Honey, he is USING you for SEX.

Get rid of him.

I agree, it is about sex...
I think that is the consensus with everyone here.

Do you want to be with somebody that just wants you for sex?
Or do you want to find somebody that wants to have a relationship with you.

I want to have a relationship

This guy won't give you a relationship the only thing he'll give you is relations.


He is a poor boyfriend. A poor companion and a poor best friend. In return you are treated poorly.

Don't waste any of your time with this guy- you are much more valuable than he makes you feel.

You can do it, you can leave him. I can guarantee you'll feel happier and a lot more confident.

Sarah

I understand that it hurts, and that you have genuine feelings for this guy. Yes, it will probably hurt to break it off but think of all of the rotten things he tells you and how much pain you will be spared in the future.

Not only are you risking yourself, as you've stated that the relationship is illegal and it could get you in trouble, you are risking yourself for a guy that is only using you. He's made it clear that marriage is not an option and that he doesn't want a serious future. It's not worth it.

we never went and had dinner before or take a walk or go shopping together or any of that because its illegal and when i see him its very risky .

I don't understand why it would be illegal or risky?

Anyway.. if you are in danger because of this guy this more than enough reason to leave him.

Sarah

If you want to stop faking it just stop. When he wonders why e can't get you off he'll just try harder. Then maybe he'll be able to make you orgasm. But no more faking it.

I wouldn't tell him about the lies but I'd stop faking it. But that's just what I would do.

I think any woman that's faking orgasms is also faking a relationship.

If you can't be honest about if you are getting off or not then you can't complain about not getting off. Don't do telling someone they are doing everything right then behind their back complain that they do nothing right.


Incidentally... while that sort of thing is clearly illegal in the more oppressive Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia... and northern Packistan where the place is run by religious police without a clue about what's really in the Koran... I didn't think Eqypt where she comes from based on a previous post is that oppressive and archaic in their mindset. Not from people I knew who have lived there.

However She is listing Saudi Arabia as location and everything I know about that place is yes.. it IS that oppressive if you are a woman. You have to wear a Burqa in 120+ F weather outdoors ( not required indoors)... you can't drive a car, you can't walk with a man you are not married to or related to in public.

However based on her actually being in Saudi Arabia I'd be hesitant to tell her to do anything that he might consider objectionable... she has very few rights there as a woman (and thus is a second class citizen) and bad things could easily happen, or so I hear.

The problem with you is that you want a boyfriend but he doesn't want a girlfriend. This is causing you to keep holding on to him when there is nothing to hold on to or even save. Open your eyes and realize the two of you wants are different.

If you loved yourself you wouldn't tolerant this situation and deal with the put downs. You would have been left this sitation.

Also, if you know you can end up in jail behind this situation why do you keep continuing it. More of a reason to leave. Why risk yourself get whip or jailed? Even death? Quit while your ahead.

Thanks smoothy for your words but what you all are not getting is that my boyfriend treats me really well and that he is such a nice guy .
Do you think that its wrong that he actually tells me that he doesn't want a marriage and that there is no future for us , well I think that took a lot of courage out of him to say that .
And in saudia arabia its really more like jail and I can see my boyfriend in a safe place that are called compounds that are secured by armys and they are secured because the compounds are american compounds and you have to get singed in , and the reliougs police itself can't go in there , but what am trying to say is that what makes me hold on to him is that he is such a nice guy and I know that he loves me and I changed him a lot and he changed me a lot but sometimes he doesn't know how say stuff . He puts them in the wrong phrase .

mudweiser : its illegal because its just like that I was born and raised up here but am originally from sudan , my dad is from sudan and my mother is from egypt .
In saudia arabia if the reliougs police catch you with a guy and he is not related to you in any way you can go to jail or get whiped or death sometimes byt these reliougs police people are mostly men that are wayyyy to reliougs that they use islam is a weapon against girls and the reliougs police they are men that were in jail or drug addicts and they get brain washed like littralyy and nobody likes them here but what can we doo.

I'm sorry but what you say and "really nice guy" just don't match. I'm sure you want to see the good in him but honey he is just dragging you down.

It's not courage to say "I don't want a future with you." It's a complete and total lack of caring. Why stay with a dead end guy that is a jerk?

thanks smoothy for your words but what you all are not getting is that my boyfriend treats me really well and that he is such a nice guy .
do you think that its wrong that he actually tells me that he dosnt want a marriage and that there is no future for us , well i think that took alot of courage out of him to say that .
and in saudia arabia its really more like jail and i can see my boyfriend in a safe place that are called compounds that are secured by armys and they are secured because the compounds are american compounds and you have to get singed in , and the reliougs police itself can't go in there , but what am trying to say is that what makes me hold on to him is that he is such a nice guy and i know that he loves me and i changed him alot and he changed me alot but sometimes he dosnt know how say stuff . he puts them in the wrong phrase .

Saying he does not want a marriage. Saying there is no future for you. That is not a nice guy, but that is a guy that is just using you.

You do need to stop seeing him and stop going with him because he just wants you for sex.

You did say you want a relationship well it is time to stop seeing this person and find somebody that actually wants a relationship with you.

Your best decision you will make is to follow your education right now.

You have an opportunity to go to University in the states, I think you would be wise to take it.

thanks smoothy for your words but what you all are not getting is that my boyfriend treats me really well and that he is such a nice guy .
do you think that its wrong that he actually tells me that he dosnt want a marriage and that there is no future for us , well i think that took alot of courage out of him to say that .
and in saudia arabia its really more like jail and i can see my boyfriend in a safe place that are called compounds that are secured by armys and they are secured because the compounds are american compounds and you have to get singed in , and the reliougs police itself can't go in there , but what am trying to say is that what makes me hold on to him is that he is such a nice guy and i know that he loves me and i changed him alot and he changed me alot but sometimes he dosnt know how say stuff . he puts them in the wrong phrase .
As a man speaking... he is telling you he likes you enough ot have sex with you (which means nothing) but he doesn't like you enough to ever want to get married to you. Its not courage to say that, its arrogance. He basically says you are good enough for sex... but not good enough to be a wife. He doesn't have to be a mean or a bad guy to say that. He basically told you that there is no future with him. If you have a chance to leave and go to a university... I would recommend doing it. Saudi Arabia might be better than the Sudan... but there are any number of better places to live if you get a chance.

mudweiser : its illegal becuase its just like that i was born and raised up here but am orginally from sudan , my dad is from sudan and my mother is from egypt .
in saudia arabia if the reliougs police catch you with a guy and he is not related to you in any way you can go to jail or get whiped or death sometimes byt these reliougs police people are mostly men that are wayyyy to reliougs that they use islam is a weapon aganist girls and the reliougs police they are men that were in jail or drug addicts and they get brain washed like littralyy and nobody likes them here but what can we doo.

It seems that you really want him for the long run. But his mind is not in the same place as yours. He has stated there is no future, please don't deceive yourself by saying he does not know how to express himself verbally. You seem like a very sweet person and your kindness deserves appreciation, find someone who is going to love you for you and not you 20 pounds lighter. Perhaps when you leave he may come to the realization that he does need you or want you for a long-term relationship? Sometimes you just go to let it go.

Good luck hun,

Btw; when I graduated from nursing school I almost went to saudi arabia the money is really good, but I could not go their knowing myself and my views on religion and spirituality:eek:

Do you know what an orgasm is ? First try finding out the meaning of Orgasm. It is also not unusual for some woman NOT to have an Orgasm, but still derive pleasure. There is a chance you do not know your hot spots.

OK I actually faced his with all of this and I said that I don't want you telling me that we will not get married and I was like its not like I want to get married to you but at least don't tell me that in my face , cause what you are saying is thatam only your sex toy and that am not good enough to be your wife . And I was like I don't want you to tell me that yes we will get married and all that but don't cut me of hope of having a future with you .
He was like are you bored of me do you want us to breakup . I was like no I want you to talk like communicate and he was like I don't want I will call you back I was like OK watever .
So yes am waiting for his call and see what will he say...

Thanks lighterr that is so sweet of you

by lighterrr)you really want him for the long run. But his mind is not in the same place as yours. He has stated there is no future, please don't deceive yourself by saying he does not know how to express himself verbally. You seem like a very sweet person and your kindness deserves appreciation, find someone who is going to love you for you and not you 20 pounds lighter. Perhaps when you leave he may come to the realization that he does need you or want you for a long-term relationship? Sometimes you just go to let it go.



Thanks a lot but I really can't handel breaking up with because we went through a lot together .and I know if I leave him he will not come back to me beacause I will be all the way in the stats .
And if I breakup with him I garenti you that I will go back to drugs...
:(:confused::o
Am so confused and I want him really bad like when am with him I feel safe and soooooooo happy and time passes soooooooooo fast .
I really don't know what to do god I sound so pathatic...

Hi,
I don't have the whole picture. But I will tell you how I see it. I don't know how long you have been overweight, but I think that you feel inside that you are fat and unattractive and he does not find you sexually attractive because of his overweight comments to you. In turn you don't want to make him angry at you for saying that he doesn't do it for you in the sack. He is a control freak by the sound of it. You saying you can't dump him, makes me think that you believe every word that he says to you, in turn you don't think you deserve better.

Well that is part of the brain washing of making you feel like your fat and unattractive, playing mind games with you, making you feel that you have done something wrong. Does that sound familiar? Believe me darling you CAN do Better, YOU deserve better. You need to like and love yourself all over again. Cos yourself esteem has hit rock bottom. I know what I am talking about, been there myself. So only you can wake up and smell the coffee, you and only you can make your decisions.

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do. TAKE CARE!:)

posted by ukfunnygirl Hi,
I don't have the whole picture. But I will tell you how I see it. I don't know how long you have been overweight, but I think that you feel inside that you are fat and unattractive and he does not find you sexually attractive because of his overweight comments to you. In turn you don't want to make him angry at you for saying that he doesn't do it for you in the sack. He is a control freak by the sound of it. You saying you can't dump him, makes me think that you believe every word that he says to you, in turn you don't think you deserve better.

I have been overweight for 3 months now , and yes I feel from the inside unattractive and sexually also .

[QUOTE] by uk funnygirl )Well that is part of the brain washing of making you feel like your fat and unattractive, playing mind games with you, making you feel that you have done something wrong. Does that sound familiar? Believe me darling you CAN do Better, YOU deserve better. You need to like and love yourself all over again. Cos yourself esteem has hit rock bottom. I know what I am talking about, been there myself. So only you can wake up and smell the coffee, you and only you can make your decisions.

I don't think he really means what he is saying cause today I asked him about he telling me that am fat and all that and he was like you know that I don't mean the things that I said and why are you taking things that I say so seriously...
And defanitly I did hit the rock bttom about myself esteem trust me I did and still.

I have been overweight for 3 months now , and yes I feel from the inside unattractive and sexually also .

[QUOTE] by uk funnygirl )Well that is part of the brain washing of making you feel like your fat and unattractive, playing mind games with you, making you feel that you have done something wrong. Does that sound familiar? Believe me darling you CAN do Better, YOU deserve better. You need to like and love yourself all over again. Cos yourself esteem has hit rock bottom. I know what I am talking about, been there myself. So only you can wake up and smell the coffee, you and only you can make your decisions.

I don't think he really means what he is saying cause today I asked him about he telling me that am fat and all that and he was like you know that I don't mean the things that I said and why are you taking things that I say so seriously...
And defanitly I did hit the rock bttom about myself esteem trust me I did and still.

Basil I think you love this guy too much and everything is about him. i.e Looking good for him? Making excuses for him, like he has poor communication skill? Stop doing that and think about you. I am sorry that you think you need him to define yourself as a woman, cause the truth of the matter is that you don't.
I don't know this guy but I am already disliking him for the psycological games that he is playing on you. You are somewhat of a liberal thinker. I don't know if the woman's movement has moved through Saudi Arabia yet:eek: . Do they treat women like second class citizens their where their really under-appreciated and not respected to an extent.

Basil if you have the chance to leave that country LEAVE you'll be surprise how happy you may be away from that place and its possible that he is jealous and trying to push you away out of fear that your going to leave him and if that's the case he is still being very insensitive cause he could do it in a better way.

You got your whole future ahead of you, leave this guy and focus on you. Are their any help groups in saudi arabia that you can attend or any counsellors that you can speak to about how you are feeling. You mentioned that you had a substance abuse problem, it seems like you left one addiction and found a new one, aka your current boyfriend. Are their any substance abuse help center/programs in Saudi Arabia?

(by lighterrr)
You are somewhat of a liberal thinker. I don't know if the woman's movement has moved through Saudi Arabia yet:eek: . Do they treat women like second class citizens their where their really under-appreciated and not respected to an extent.

What do you mean by liberal thinker I don't understand that part ?and the woman's movement ? And second class citizen ? Please make it clear for me...



(by lighterrr) Are their any help groups in saudi arabia that you can attend or any counsellors that you can speak to about how you are feeling.

Are you kidding me no they don't the only thing that they have here are shopping malls like in every corner and restaurants , and even if they did they are soooo going to tell my family and it will be no secret no more .

[QUOTE](by lighterr).You mentioned that you had a substance abuse problem, it seems like you left
One addiction and found a new one, aka your current boyfriend. Are their any substance abuse help center/programs in Saudi Arabia?

They don't and even if they did they will take me to jail and then question me about how did I get it and from who and where and all that and I will end up in jail... :confused:
People here in this country are sooo sick minded they need help and drugs in this country is sooooooooooo easy to get and if you are a girl they will give it to you for free...

Hi Basil!

Like I said earlier, I don't know the full picture, but what I have said to you, I have hit the nail on the head. If he didn't mean to say those things to you and your taking it too seriously, PLEASE SMELL THE COFFEE, another way of making you feel in the wrong, that your over reacting. The truth is, HE has low self-esteem, get his kicks of putting you down, makes him feel in control, he knows that your weak spot is your weight. He won't change, it will only get worse as the years go by. Then you will look back wondering why you put up with such a jerk, why you believed every word. HE Won't CHANGE. But you can.

To put down the woman he loves is not love, its being a control freak, he's spiteful. And nasty. Think long and hard when were you truly happy with him? Are you happy now? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? If the answer is NO, then move on now. Kick him out or move to your parents. Don't make excuses for him, you either put up with it and stop moaning about it or you be brave and strong think of what you want out of life and move on with your life. You can do it, its not hard honestly. You need to believe in yourself, have confidence to do it.

Best of luck :)

i never got an orgasim with my boyfriend although we have great sex and am tired of faking it , cause if i told him he will get really pssed at me , and he always tells me that i need to loose weight, i dont know wat to do .

Believe me, sex will be much better in a relationship where the man loves your body just the way it is. Time to dump this guy and find out how good sex can be. To avoid a repeat, don't fake an orgasm with the next guy.

I will make sure that I will not an orgasm anymore even with him and I wll tell him that I didn't get an orgasm and I want to see how is he going to react and I will sit down and talk to him and I will see if it works out and if it didn't then that is it...

Do they treat women like second class citizens their where their really under-appreciated and not respected to an extent.

What do you mean by liberal thinker I don't understand that part ?and the woman's movement ? And second class citizen ? Please make it clear for me...




Are you kidding me no they don't the only thing that they have here are shopping malls like in every corner and restaurants , and even if they did they are soooo going to tell my family and it will be no secret no more .

[QUOTE](by lighterr).You mentioned that you had a substance abuse problem, it seems like you left
One addiction and found a new one, aka your current boyfriend. Are their any substance abuse help center/programs in Saudi Arabia?

They don't and even if they did they will take me to jail and then question me about how did I get it and from who and where and all that and I will end up in jail... :confused:
People here in this country are sooo sick minded they need help and drugs in this country is sooooooooooo easy to get and if you are a girl they will give it to you for free...

Woww. Just like I thought, when I said liberal thinker I mean you have a free mind. Where you think freely and somewhat out side of the box, because you question your boyfriends treatment towards you. Now to sum up the woman's movement it's just like woman having the same rights as men, i.e. to vote. I am not even sure if thye have elections in Sudi Arabia?
So you are stuck in a country where you cannot get any help, hmm that sucks. Look the bottom line is this leave this guy alone and work on your own internal well being and health.

What have you done in the past to feel better about yourself.

No woman's have no rites at all and we here in saudia arabia they don't have elections .
Well sometimes I don't think its my boyfriend that is the problem its just the environment because like seriously we are in saudia arabia man for gods sack . Am sure he is affected by the people around him or the somuch tenssion in the air . Don't know but I will try and give him one more chance and I will see what's going to happen this time...
Ps . Thanks for clearing stuff for me and yes am defanitly a free minded person like people in this country think that am like crazy or I don't have no relagion cause of the way I think dress and talk and when they see me somking they can't stop staring god as if they never saw a girl smoke before , and what funny is that smoking for men is allowd and not allowed for woman . Looool I found that so funny...

What have I done in the past that makes me feel better about myself ?

I really don't remmber like really , and that is such a good question .
And omg I don't have an answer for that question am soooo shocked

Basil you will find that if you come to a country where woman have a voice you may feel more @ home and people won't look at you like some crazy lunatic. Look I've been to a country where women have no rights in west africa and I'm a canadian so I can compare and contrast the two worlds. The good part is that my fiancée is from west africa but he lived in Canada for like 10 years, so he is well versed in woman's rights. To make a long story short when I am in africa he is like the only person that understands me everybody else does not. Unfortunately for you it's the opposite. But what I can advice you to do is to get out of their and take the opportunity to go to school abroad. This world has so much more to offer to you, so take the chance and go get it.

First of all he's an for telling you that you need to lose weight! No woman feels sexy when they hear that from their partner. If you do need to lose weight I'm sure your aware of it! Have you tried bringing any spice to the bedroom like toys and stuff? Any keep in mind a good lover isn't a selfish one, if he really wants to please you he will understand and not get mad, he will do whatever it takes to get you off ;)

First of all he's an for telling you that you need to lose weight! No woman feels sexy when they hear that from their partner. If you do need to lose weight I'm sure your aware of it! Have you tried bringing any spice to the bedroom like toys and stuff? any keep in mind a good lover isn't a selfish one, if he really wants to please you he will understand and not get mad, he will do whatever it takes to get you off ;)

Toys in saudi arabia:eek::eek:

[QUOTE]{kermc}First of all he's an for telling you that you need to lose weight! No woman feels sexy when they hear that from their partner. If you do need to lose weight I'm sure your aware of it!

And that for sure I really don't feel sexy no more and espaically around him , and yes I did gain weight and trust me am working on it and I actually lost like 3 kg in like 1 week . (chemical diet only drink no food ) anyway he always tells me if you loose weight and exercise omg you will look soooo sexy and I was thinking what do you mean by that , that am not SEXY NOW... but he such a sweetheart but he has these negative things that really makes him so ugly and he doesn't know that hurts my feelings and when I tell him , he tells me why are you so sensitve and why do you take all my words and missunderstand me am like that is how you say it and never tell a girl in genral that she is fat and needs to loose weight .

toys in saudi arabia:eek::eek:

Omg that is soooooooooooooo funny like really am laughing so hard I think I peed a little .
That is so true if they find sex toys your going to jaill for a long time sista.

[QUOTE]

And that for sure I really don't feel sexy no more and espaically around him , and yes I did gain weight and trust me am working on it and I actually lost like 3 kg in like 1 week . (chemical diet only drink no food ) anyway he always tells me if you loose weight and exercise omg you will look soooo sexy and I was thinking what do you mean by that , that am not SEXY NOW... but he such a sweetheart but he has these negative things that really makes him so ugly and he doesn't know that hurts my feelings and when I tell him , he tells me why are you so sensitve and why do you take all my words and missunderstand me am like that is how you say it and never tell a girl in genral that she is fat and needs to loose weight .

That is really harsh that he says those things to you. You should say something like that to him and see how he feels! When he tells you how sexy you would be if you lost weight you should tell him how sexy he would be if he would just learn to get you off! Actually no, don't stoop th that level. It's really a no brainer, he should know that the things he says are hurtful and words can hurt sooo much! Just don't let him take yourself esteem from you, and when you do lose the weight that YOU want, make sure that it's for YOU and not for him.
Ciao bella!

omg that is soooooooooooooo funny like really am laughing so hard i think i peed a littel .
that is soo true if they find sex toys your going to jaill for a long time sista.

LOL! I just noticed that you were from saudi! Nice advice I give, I just get you thrown in Jail!

LOL!! I just noticed that you were from saudi! Nice advice I give, I just get you thrown in Jail!

You got that right, BASIL LEAVE THE COUNTRY:) get out while you still can lol;)

Am not saudi am from sudan (africa)
But was raised and born in saudii

am not saudi am from sudan (africa)
but was raised and born in saudiiYou can see exactly what's wrong with Sharia Law and any place where Radical Muslims impose it on people against their will. They are only marginally better than Talliban lunatics.

Personally the answer is simple. If you have a chance to go to a University OUTSIDE a nation run by radical Muslims... take it. Get a good degree and many doors will open to you in far more accommodating countries. You don't need him or his stories. There are plenty of men out that that would have far more to offer to you than he will.

how long should a man last normally in bed?

You should start your own thread so it gets a better response.

HI AGAIN...
I think you're kidding yourself if you think he doesn't know what he says hurts you. Everybody is giving you advice, but you seem to be in denial, stop making excuses for that pratt, move to a different country and meet someone else. Get to know yourself first.

Aw you poor thing, get rid of that guy and find someone respectful of you and your body! Then the fun will happen!

Thanks , but I have been honst with him lately and we communicate and really he did change and OMG I fainally had an orgasm not once or twice I had it three times OMG it was so amazing , and now we alk and communicate and spend more time together . And its not only about sex now and he like my body but am still working on lossing weight .

thanx , but i have been honst with him lately and we communicate and really he did change and OMG i fainally had an orgasim not once or twice i had it three times OMG it was so amazing , and now we alk and communicate and spend more time together . and its not only about sex now and he like my body but am still working on lossing weight .

Good luck basil I am also trying to loose weight:mad: not going so well for me though

For me to loose weight I take pills that makes feel full and I exersice .

And how can I catch him lying and how can I let him addmitt it .

and how can i catch him lying and how can i let him addmitt it .

I thought you guys said you were communicating and now you think he's lying? This is getting confusing.

Yes we are but I know that he is lying , and he doesn't want to addmit it at all .
And trust me is wayyyy to confusing for me too.

OK we are really good togther but , before I made one of my friends to call him and talk to him and he doesn't know that she is my friend anyway this was from a long time , and after we are really good with each other , my friend calls me and she tells " your boyfriend called me and he wants to see me " I was like WHATTTT and know I can't catch him lying and he doesn't want admiit it at alllll .
What should I do ?

Well, trust is a necessity as well as honesty. If he won't admit something and you know for a fact he is lying, the lies can just become more and more... I'd leave him

You can't call it great sex if you don't have an orgasm.. don't fake it.. try telling him that, so you can figure out a way or try changing things up.. orgasms are important part of having sex..

thanks , but I have been honst with him lately and we communicate and really he did change and OMG I fainally had an orgasm not once or twice I had it three times OMG it was so amazing , and now we alk and communicate and spend more time together . And its not only about sex now and he like my body but am still working on lossing weight .

That is not the problem now... ( although it takes me a long time and a lot of energy )
And sometimes I get dissapointed cause after all the effort that I do I get the orgasm but for only maximam 3 sec... :mad::(:eek::confused:

I have just read this post and your previous post about relationships and in my opinion you are in a very toxic relationship. Now I know you live in a place where us women have no rights and are seen as a lower class citizen, you have the oppurnity to continue your education in a country that is not ruled the same as the one you are in now. Your Boyfriend (if you can really call him that) seems to just want you for the sex. And you got a friend to call him and talk to him and that resulted in him asking her to go over to see him. That is not a good thing. He very well could just be using you for the sex and cheating on you also. No matter how much you try you can't stop someone from lying. And it is pretty much impossible to force someone to tell you something they don't want to say. He also seems to be quite insulting, rudely commenting on your weight. I think that maybe time away from him with no communication between you two might be the best bet. Then you can sit, relfect on yourself and determine which would give you the better life. In my opinion taking the oppurnity to go to a good univrsity or college in a different country would be the best bet. I am sure once you got there and realized how much of a culture difference there is you will really like it. He may be the first love of your life but think about this. What if your true love is possibly in a different country then the one your in. Also... you would not have to worry about being thrown in jail for seeing the guy you want to see. (or woman as in the us they are not as biased about that. Though some are against it. Personal opinions in my opinion lol) You would experience something you would never experience in the country you are in, Free Speech and the right to do as you please (as long as it doesn't break laws) There are no clothing requirements and you would never run the risk of being stoned in the street

(I do hope I spelt everything right as I don't have the downloadable spell checker on here)

OK we are really good togther but , before I made one of my friends to call him and talk to him and he doesn't know that she is my friend anyway this was from a long time , and after we are really good with each other , my friend calls me and she tells " your boyfriend called me and he wants to see me " I was like WHATTTT and know I can't catch him lying and he doesn't want admiit it at alllll .
What should I do ?

How can I catch him lying to me cause I know he is cause she is my friend and she tells me what going on and exactly what he is telling me when I call him and she is with him on the other line.. :confused::mad:

Basil... it sounds exactly like you only see what you want to see with him. It can't be all that great based on what you have told us so far. I know I wouldn't consider it great if it was me.

Just because you are used to something doesn't mean it's a healthy or good thing.

If you don't trust or bleieve the person you are with, or aren't able to because they lie or are deceptive then you are not in a good situation.

OK I actually tried to breakup , and I didbreakup with him for like a day and omg I couldn't stand being away from him .
And it really hurt like really I actually went to the hospital to get my blood pressure rite .

This is something I would consider an extremely unhealthy relationship. It's doing nothing but hurting you and being with someone is not supposed to hurt you like this.

ok i actually tried to breakup , and i didbreakup with him for like a day and omg i couldnt stand being away from him .
and it really hurt like really i actually went to the hospital to get my blood pressure rite .
Breakups are rarely easy... and the longer you are together the harder it is. Its rare you have something happen that's so bad its easy to walk away without this happening. And that is from my own personal experience. I've never left a relationship without it being painful

People you don't understand...

people you dont understand .......
We don't understand what? We understand exaly what you have told us very well. We have all been through relationships that were not what we wished they were.

We do understand. The fact of the matter is, this isn't going to be easy and that the truth hurts. It's not a cakewalk to do the things that you know you should

Am sooo sorry guys I don't know what's going on with me seriously I feel like I want to go back to drugs really...

Its OK to be stressed, nothing in life is always easy. But remember with pain, it doesn't stay that way forever. When me and my boyfriend broke up (we are back together now and have been for 8 years) it was only a little while into the relationship and I felt like my life was nothing without him. I thought about resorting to drugs, in fact I did. Three months in a Rehabilitation clinic and lots of thinking and taking self esteeme courses and stuff I realized that I didn't need him to be happy. I just thought I did. Now we worked things out. But our problems were quite a bit different then yours. I am now on my way to college in a different provence and he is behind me and supporting me the whole way. Which is what any boyfriend or husband should do. We are open, honest with each other and if something is bothering one of us we talk about it. Sometimes though that just doesn't happen in a relationship... Resorting to drugs is going to do nothing but make your life harder and you risk going to jail. Is it really worth it hun. I don't think it is.

Breaking up is rarely easy... but why settle for a bad relationship just because its easy rather than deal with a little pain to break up and find the relationship with a person you really would like to have.

A lot of the time girls don't orgasm, that's just the way it is but you shouldn fake it. It will be difficult to tell him that now, but that's why you shouldn't lie in the first place. The longer it continues the hardr it is.