Hi, just to start I'm 31, an my girlfriend is 30.. tonight we where just sitting around the house watching TV.. she was on the laptop on Facebook chatting, an I asked to use it after.. he's our background.. we have only been dating a month, but she says I'm perfect an the one , we've talkd about marriage, she said if I asked her should would say yes... so, its going great.. well she has been in jury duty an really likes it.. this is where it gets interseting,. so tonight after she was done I used her laptop an it was still on Facebook, I looked at a couple messages from her an this guy.. the guys a DA for our big city in buffal ny, well it said she made him smile an stuff.. I got a little bent out of shape and asked her who this guy was an asked if we are done with.. she said no but was upset, she asked me to leave for the night, there was no fighting but I could tell she was upset at me, an now she thinks I go through her stuff when she's not around... can somebody give me some advice? I'm kind of confused, an don't know what to expect to hear from her tomorrow.. I had told her today I also had booked a cruise for us , an that's where I planned to propose to her?! Somebody help?

Any woman out there, if you can answer a quick question? On accident I seen my gfs Facebook page.. I looked an questioned her about a guy on it.. she was mad an asked me too leave for the night... what should I expect to hear from her tomorrow?

Here is my take on it.

If both of you are in a relationship it is okay for you to read her Facebook messages (anybody who disagrees with me needs to realize that marrige was brought up in all of this) I just want to say that.

I think you had every right to ask her what the messaged were in reference to and not just blow up on her calling her a cheater, you talked to her without losing your cool (atleast the post made me think).

Looking at it from your point of view, if the girl I liked was saying "oh, you make me smile" I would raise an eyebrow.

Just give her time and don't rush into marrige. Check up in a day or two and talk to her about it, let her know where you stand.

Yes your right, there was no blowing up, she was a little upset at me, an asked m to leave for the night.. not to blame this on her mensteraul cycle but it started today.. earlier in the night we both went out an fun with both sides of her family, an she was introducing me as her boyfriend to everybody I hadn't meet.. by the way it was her idea for the cruise, I got it for her birthday as a surprise, an told her as I was leaving..

I think she's hiding something. There is no reason for her to act so defensive.

Sarah

Well I know that , but she talked about marriage an she tells me how much she loves me, really this hurts..

How old are you?

well i know that , but she talked about marraige an she tells me how much she loves me, really this hurts..

Girls lie too.

Sarah

She was probably hurt that you felt that you felt she had ill intentions with the boy on her face book page...

On the other hand...

She could be hiding something... why make it public on your Facebook page though, hmmm

She could just be annoyed that you don't trust her t think she may be seeing another guy, or she could be unfaithful. You won't know until you talk to her.

I am a guy and I know it hurts, I have been in your shoes.
I think that she thinks that you feel insecure and that you don't trust her.
Jealousy can be a killer to many relationships.
If you want to marry her then your trust has to be 100%.

There a couple of ways to look at this.
1. she had a mild flirtation with this guy,nothing in it,and freaked a little when you saw.

2.she got annoyed you looked,and overreacted.

3.theres something going on.

4.well,just be honest about how you feel about it.. turn it around and try to get her to see your point of view.how would she feel?

Yeah we are both 30, I'm thinking it was a mild flirtation.. I left her house last night an gave the silent treatment.. an I woke up to a couple texts saying that she was sorry, an I love you so much... so where do I go from here

The ball is firmly in your court. Talk to her,see what the story is.you know her well,you'll know if she's telling the truth.

But I will say this,if you both sort it out,leave it.
Don't bring it back up in a fight.

Good luck,hope it all works out for you both.

You had no right to snoop.
I am assuming this is the first test in your relationship and you failed.
I would not try to bribe her with a trip and I would not propose anything except an explanation of why you felt entitled to breach her trust by snooping.
You best have a good excuse or you may be cruising solo.

I see some red flags here, not just the snooping, but only dating for a month and talking about marriage. It takes a long time to get to know a person and earn trust to where you can decide if you want to be with them the rest of your life. Do you always push for quick attachments and violate privacy? If I were her, I would be very wary.

First, I've merged your threads. As noted you shouldn't start a separate thread for the same issue.

Second, I think some of the answers here have never seen Facebook. When you log onto your Facebook page, you can see recent messages. So I doubt if there was an real snooping, the message may have sort of leaped out.

Third, I have to wonder about a relationship of only a month where marriage was already being discussed. That just seems way too soon.

Finally, I'm very concerned about a DA or ADA corresponding with someone on jury duty. I'll assume that he's not on the case she's serving on, but it still seems highly irregular.

Actually the da ada whatever he was, was part of the hearings, that's what she told me, now just yesterday she said she wants to take a break? Just some time to cool off.. the night before she was talking about wedding songs an stuff like that?? I'm so confused now

Not only are you confused, but she's completely confused about what she wants.

I think it's best that you guys stayed away from each other for a while to let things cool down. There was a breach of trust on your part for snooping around. But she also seems to have something to hide.

Take the break, avoid contacting her. Both of you can cool down, reflect on what's happened, and then when you find each other, you will be objective when making decisions.

OK, well ill take your advice, but earlier today I sent her some flowers, an wrote an apology to her.. I haven't spoken to her in two days, its killing me.

Today I gave some flowers an wrote an apology to my gf/exgf, don't know what she is... do girls actually like that stuff? It came from the heart

I don't like apologies if they are for repeated offenses or something that didn't offend me to begin with.

Just my opinon.

Sarah

Yes. I like an apology. But only one.

I don't like apology after apology after apology.

Mistakes happen. Habits are made.

WAY TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR A ONE MONTH RELATIONSHIP.

Why in the world after one month are you ready to propose?

OK , I just read your message , I took the flowers earlier in the morn.. she said a couple days away is what she needed.. an I total respect that.. yet what I wrote to her is what she wants to hear, an what I needed to do.. yet I'm not all to blame, she's the one who asked me about marriage, she asked me to move in, an just this past weekend she was talking to both our moms, an joking who would be the better grandmother of our kids!!

She asked me how long do you need to be in a relationship before you think to get married.. I said 10-12 months, she said she could spot it right away.. 2 weeks ago she said if I proposed to her on her birthday may 14 she would say yes...

ok, well ill take ur advice, but earlier today i sent her some flowers, an wrote an apology to her.. i havent spoken to her in two days, its killing me.

That's not going to help your situation. She doesn't need attention from you, she needs space from you. You're doing the exact opposite of what she wants and needs. This could mess you up because she will think that you can't respect her wishes. If you can't do something as simple as give her space, then how can she count on you to do something more important? Just stay away until BOTH of you are ready to face each other again.

Apologies are fine if that's what they are looking for. But in your situation, she's not looking for an apology, she's looking for a break.


ok , i just read your message , i took the flowers earlier inthe morn.. she said a couple days away is what she needed.. an i total respect that.. yet what i wrote to her is what she wants to hear, an what i needed to do.. yet im not all to blame, shes the one who asked me about marriage, she asked me to move in, an just this past weekend she was talking to both our moms, an joking who would be the better grandmother of our kids!!!

If she tells you to jump off a building will you do that too?

Don't you have any self-control? She's obviously very confused abuot her feelings. One day she's at one extreme and the next day she's at the other extreme. But for some reason, you keep focusing on one extreme, without realizing that she is confused. Just leave her alone until she sorts it out.

Yes this only happened once.. an I made it clear that it will never hppen again.. she apolgized to me on Saturday saying she has trust issues an is working on them

OK.. I will, I will keep you in contact with what happens

How about acting like a 31 yo and not a flighty head strung teenager.

This about a immature and childish as it gets.

TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ONE MONTH.

Leave her alone. Spend some time on you.

Okay, it is good that you apology and hopefully it was a heart felt one but once you apology that is it. That's all you can do and the receiver of the apology can it accept it or not.

It sounds like she is battling her own issues so you need to gjve her what she asked for space. That is all you can do.

Well she just replied too me just now, she said "thank you for the flowers and the note. i appreciate the truth, i dont know about 2nd chances, my head is spinning, you can get your things, let me know when." the note I gave her I pored my heart into it... and I get that? What should I do?

i dont know about 2nd chances, my head is spinning

What part of her being confused do you not understand? She's just being polite by thanking you, don't see it as anything more... leave her alone already


you can get your things, let me know when

That means she wants to get rid of your stuff so that she can get you out of her mind

It's time to move on...

well she just replied too me just now, she said "thank you for the flowers and the note. i appreciate the truth, i dont know about 2nd chances, my head is spinning, you can get your things, let me know when." the note i gave her i pored my heart into it... and i get that?! what should i do?

Get your things and move on because she doesn't want you.

Yep give up on her it sounds like she has made some decisions that do not include you.
When girls talk about marriage when you first meet they are talking from emotion and the newness of something they want to work but then reality sets in and they change their mind.

Threads merged

My exgf wants to take a break.. we got into an argument yesterday, an now she says don't bother her anymore... two days before that she said she wants to get married? I haven't tried to get in contact with her, she also said her parents where mad at me, I just wrote the parents an apology letter.. because they had nothing to do with the break, I also ran into one of her exs, just 10 minutes ago, he said she's crazy an broke up with her because of her ever constant mood swings.. I'm not desperate, I love this woman, an I can go out tonight an meet a new woman with no problem.. what do I do?

Well give her time if that is what she is asking for. If going out is what you feel like doing they its simple do it. Maybe she will come around in time and you'll still be available.

If she is having constant mood swings maybe there is a deeper issue going on with her.
Have you ever discussed this with her, does she take any medications?

Give her space, she needs time to cool off. If she wants to renew the relationship she will contact you.

It's hard when that happens because she obviously needs space but on the other hand if she doesn't hear from you for days she might think you don't care. It's impossible to say what is going on in her mind. You could try messaging her in in a few days and see if she replies, if she doesn't then don't contact her further until she contacts you.
The letter to her parents was very kind though, not many people would think of that.

Ok thank you for the help. She thinks that I lied to her. I didn't tell her the complete truth. I bought a house an I never told her that it was my grandmothers. I kept telling her that it was a couple. But there is some other reasons. Like I might be losen my job at the post office, I never meant to hurt her. She has been cheated on in her past 5 relationships. An I would never do that to her. Her birthday is coming up may 14th an I bought her a heart shaped diamond necklace. She said not to leave anything at her door. Do I give it to her? I love this girl more than anything in life. I hope her parents can accept my apology too. Because I said the same thing to them about the house. Ughh I wish I could turn back the clock an make it right. Any advice?

Hold on to that necklace for now, don't give it to her until you know things are resolved between you. She might take it as you trying to buy your way out of the situation.

Yeah but she gave me a great birthday on April 7th. Prob the best somebody ever could have. My friends say if she's doing this now, it will just get worse. Like I said this is the worst because I think of her all the time. What if I did it different. If I told her from the get go. Things would be different, I know that for a fact. She told so. What I want to know is how can a girl can't forgive a mistake. I mean I didn't cheat on her, an what she said to me "she doesn't want to cry an always wonder if I'm telling her the truth". How can you get a girl to regain trust in you. I'm ashamed to say that I have been untruthful with a girlfriend in the past but I did regain that persons trust because they forgave me. On Thursday I gave her flowers an a card where I explained why I did what I did, and a lot of it has to do with my fathers cancer. It's bad an his chance for making it thro is not good. My father is the one who said that I should push the move in date back because I might have to take care of my mom. An that's not an excuse why I did what I did. Somebody help me. Somebody tell me how to regain the trust of the woman I love

If things are this crazy and confusing now, I hate to see what happens in 2 months.

Your strangers still, and it doesn't take a genius to know she is pushing to fast, and your only to eager to go along. Not a good sign.

There are enough red flags here to stop you dead in your tracks.

Everybody is right on this page.. there are plenty of red flags going off.. I'm just realizing that, we had an argument on Friday when I picked up my stuff, she has way to many trust issues to deal with, an now that I talk to more of my friends they are saying the same thing, she's nuts an I should run, fast! I haven't spoken too her in 2 days now, an I'm going to try to avoid her... although I do love her, she needs to get her head straight an figure out how to trust me, an not think I'm lying to her every time we talk.. in the end its her loss

Buying a house, and who you bought it from has no bearing on your girlfriend, so I don't know why it would make her so upset. She seems like she wants to know every aspect of your life, even if it has nothing to do with her. She also seems like she'll check up on you, and if anything is not in place, you are in for an emotional rollercoaster ride.

You've met one of her ex's and it appears that he knows what you are going through. Do you love her enough to live with her mood swings, and the fact that she involves her parents?

It sounds like you have a good support group of friends. You need to stick with them to help you through this. You cannot hide who you are from your friends, and they will keep you on track when you are blinded by love.

If she has mood swings mate, she will properly change her mind in an day and miss you again, if you love her just hang in there, but only if you think she loves you back, but do not run into marriage and kids. If you don't think she loves you move on. Hope you get what you want mate. X

I love her so much. I just don't know what to do. I want to just try and talk to her. But I know that's a bad idea. Really I want her back in my life. I went golfing the last two days an my buddys are getting sick of hearing me talk of her. They think she's nuts for doing what she did. An they way she talked of kids an getting married so fast. But I would give anything just to be with her right now. I even went to church an prayed. My first time to go on a Sunday in twenty years. Maybe I'm as crazy as she is. Haha. Well do I sit around an just wait or what should I do??

You moved toooooo fast with this girl. The two of you only been together for a month and the two of you were talking married and you was ready to purpose?

Get over her by not focusing on her. Take it day by day. This girl was no good for you and you could do better. Work on yourself and use this time to hang out with friends. Don't play any sad music or watch any love movies. Ask God for strength to get over her and don't ask that he brings the two of you back together.

It's tough because when you meet that one it just feels so right! Like a soul-mate. I known this girl since 8th grade but we haven't talked in 14 years. I know 3 of her ex boyfriend. They're all s, an I know how she was treated. When you find a person like we connect it hurts. I know this is how she was molded by the exs so I was starting in this relationship behind the eightball l, an any little mistake I did would be pusicuted. The worst part all my friends are married or engaged, so it's tough to talk with friends or hang out with them. So most of the time I'm alone. How can I get her back?

You can't always get want you want so the best thing for you to do is stop focusing on your friends relationship.

Okay they are married and some engaged but you need to realize that is them. Not you!

You feel alone because you don't someone right now and that is a normal feeling. Embrace it because you don't need someone just because.

Your right. But this whole thing is pretty much my fault. I kind of like haven this break yet I want somebody there for me to cuddle with. She has 2 dogs that would jump into bed with us. It was like a happy family. I haven't tried to get ahold her. I'm waiting for her to contact me. That might never happen. I even apologized to her parents. Should I expect a response from them?

No! Why don't you get a dog for yourself? Dogs are a man best friend you know. I have two, a black lab and a pitbull.

She had a chocolate lab an a Kentucky coon hound. I'm thinking about getting a chocolate lab myself. A female. I think I'll go find a good litter of them an find one. You said you can't always get what you want , but if you try sometimes you get what you need.

If she comes back then she does. I love her. But it's the ultimate is what it is

Needs and wants are two separate things. Do I need a lexus or do I just want a lexus? Hmmm

Your confusing the two. Do you need her in your life or do you want her in your life?

I think I need her in my life. She did in that one month straightn some things out for me. Her friends an her just deleted me off there Facebook. They had a sleepover last night. I guarantee I was a topic of conversation. Ughh I do need her in my life. All my other exs where so different. She seems to be the most normal girl I've ever dated. I think my exs molded me as well to have to act like this

I don't think you do. Your just fix on having her in your life.

Sitting around waiting for her to decide if and when she wants to be will do more harm then good.

You can't get someone back when they don't want to be with. You can even waste your money on those crazy ebooks on "how to win to her back" but again it would just be a waste of money.

I can understand your going through a funk spell right now but you need to get out of it. But it starts with you and with you changing your way of thinking.

Those ebooks don't work? A friend of mine said he used one an him an his fiancé are getting married next month. He was in the same situation as me. Molded by his exs he had lied to his girlfriend she dumped him now they're happy. An love each other. Your right though. I do stew on it too much.

Well I haven't talked to my ex in person in 6 days an haven't heard from her since Friday. No contact at all. Do you think she is thinking of me? I'm going crazy now. I just want to try to get ahold of her but I know that might just push her away. I'm going crazy. Now I'm getting depressed

6 days is like 20% of the whole relationship correct?

I think you need to take a peek at the codependency link.

Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships (http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/codependency.htm)

Maybe you can figure out why after one month, you are obsessed. Way too much too soon.

I know but I felt like we where together 6 years. Which was great. I've been reading a lot of stuff online. How to get her back. Using phycology on her an stuff we liked doing together

No contact is not about getting your girlfriend back.

There isn't anything less attractive then an obsessed, clingy and desperate boyfriend.

1 month doesn't ever equal 6 years.

Cry about your loss, but let her go. You need to focus on you.

Umm she was the clingy one. Well we where both. An I'm not desperate. I'm giving her time

Stop giving her time and stop waiting for her to come around. Time and life will only pass you by.

Move on and take it day by day. Each day your getting stronger and hopefully your way of thinking will change.

OK your right.. an I'm, I'm doing stuff for me now. It does feel good, but I also want that feeling of being loved by somebody.. I'm 31, all my friends have there wife's or gfs, so they don't go out to bars an try to meet woman, I so skeptic on meeting woman online, though I did meet my current ex on Facebook, but I did know her from high school.. well I justed talked to one of her exs.. he said he could tell me storys about her, I don't know if that's jealousy or not, he's currently married so I don't know if he's got an axe to grind or what.. but in anycase he talks to her parents almost everyday. He's there mailman.. an like me now that I just lost my job at the post office.. ughh got more time to think about things... I'm wondering if I even want her back now, but that stuff he said about her is when she was young in her early 20s... stuff just gets more confusing everyday

By the way that's a picture of me, I cut her out of it haha

You are making things confusing, they really aren't.

Is this your first real relationship?

I can tell you when you are planning a lifetime with someone when you can't make it past one month, there isn't much hope for a lifetime. You want to feel like this for the rest of your life?

Time for you.

Oh I understand that, an no this is about my 20th, I've dated girls that cheated on me, girls that did drugs behind my back.. normal girls crazy girls.. but everyone had there own little thing about them.. this one was different, there was that connection, like true love at first sight... I mean the first date I was like I could marry this one, she does have some problems with her hormons, an she does get bad migranes, where she does have to give herself a shot when it gets bad.. well you guys are mostly right.. I do have to try an stop thinking of her.. but to tell you the truth most guys do think of there exs a lot

I know plenty of great guys, that are great on the surface, it isn't until you see them drink, see their behaviors that happen when you really know someone.

One month is long enough for infatution and caring, but it is not long enough to know someone. You are hanging on too tight.

You don't look 31 which is a good thing.

I can understand you wanting to have someone in your life especially when everyone around you have someone. But know there is someone out there for everyone and when your looking for someone your never find her but when you aren't looking for her you will find her. It sounds weird but it is true.

So relax and take it one day at time.

Thank you for the complimant ;) Ive heard that to. My dad just told me that. I'm going to do my best not to think of her. Going to not an look at my phone every 5 minutes to see if she txtd me. ( we never in one month talked on the phone weird ) but will avoid to contact her too

That is your best option and the right thing to do.

What do I do if she contacts me? I mean I do want her back. But don't want this to happen again.

Well my dumbass did a drive by at her house. An she already has somebody else stayn over. So I guess everybody was right. Sorry to waste all your guys time. Ughhh. Can anything ever go right for me?

Your dumpa$$ better not drive by her house anymore. No more torturing yourself over her. No more worrying about and when she is going give you that magican call and tell you everything you want to hear.

You did something stupid. Now learn from it and move on. Time to start healing yourself. Listen to the songs in my signature. Watch some comedy. Do you play video games? Play some because I play them to keep my mind off things. Don't beat yourself up because your friends have someone because one day your going find someone for you but you won't find her if your still stuck over your ex.

Ok. I'm going to pull out the tried and true "big guns."

You ready?

Remember in the movie Home Alone, where Kevin McAllister was horribly afraid of the robbers? There's one point where he realized that it was HIS house and that HE was going to defend it. You following me?

Well, he decided that he was done being scared, ran outside and yelled, "I'M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE! You hear me?? I said, I"M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE!"

It was a conscious choice of a little boy to defend his home against attackers.

YOU MUST MAKE THIS CHOICE.

You MUST decide that you're done with this, that you're going to defend YOUR heart against attack, and you're GOING to move on. NOTHING else will work.

It's YOUR decision.

Say with Kevin, "I'm not afraid anymore!"

Take back your life, man.

I am. I woke up today feeling used. Played "give you he'll". I know realize that it wasn't meant to be. She used me but I'm better than giving her another minute of my life. Shell get what she deserves. An I hope that it comes soon to realize it was her loss. I'm done with her. Every thought of her is bad

I am glad to hear that you realize what you realize. Again take it day by day and once you get over her you going say I can't believe I was stuck on her. Believe me I have been there.

I know now that it's was way to fast, an now I can move on. I'm at the poker room at my local casino. They're like my support group. Already have a cute girl asking me if I want to go get a coffee or something. Just to talk. I think I should. What do you guys think? To soon?

I am thinking I want to be there playing... oh wait, that isn't what you asked. People are always nice to talk to.

Just remember to take your time, there is not a rush when you are looking for greatness. Plus, if she is sitting at the poker table with you then how can you go wrong ;) Nothing better than a lady that can play!

Yeah. This is my new job. I'm a semi pro poker player. She is a novice an is asking for me to teach her. I think I might do it's nice to have something in common an she seems genuanlly interested. I'm not going to rush this time. An I can only hope the ex comes crawling back. That's when I will just ignore her. Send her packing like the little rat she is! You people are great an helpful! I will never forget this, an how much you helped. I will always post on this every day to let you know my situation! For real I've never meet a better group of people that care for a total stranger. An can take me in like I'm one of them.

I will challenge you heads up... be ready to be beat by a girl. :D

Do you play online?

This really is a great site.

That is how my partner got me, he made me a poker player. :D

I do play online. But mostly live games I live outside buffalo ny. Niagara falls has 3 casinos 10 minutes from my house. But I do play on poker stars.

I play on Poker Stars, we have a local poker charitable that runs poker tournaments, cash and sit n go's. The casinos in our area offer some limited high stakes tables, but otherwise it is just table games like Three Card and Let it Ride.

I love to play, it's a great release and I think it's a great thing for single women because there are so many single men playing ;). Not the greatest pick up place for single men since there aren't nearly enough poker females, at least around here there aren't.

I love Poker! Once a month my friend has a card game and I only play poker or spades. Once in a while I play Remy.

Texas hold'em :cool:

Texas hold'em :cool:

Yes, this game is fun just watch out for the drunk people.

Yeah this area has many choices on where to play. I prefer the casino it has a sperate room. It's some of the best players in the world. Tho I did just win a charitable poker tournament for roswell cancer institute. You had to be sponserd to be in the tourny an that was 5000 dollars. Butva couple doctors did it for me an I gave half of my winnings back. The total amount I donated was 7500 dollars. Ur right there are way to many woman that do play because of drunk men. I gave up drinking 4 months ago an feel so much better for doing it. Yet I do need to quit smoking cigs. Ughh so tuff

Congrats on your win. The closest we have is Heartland that was here a two - three weekends ago.

We have been down to play in a 2008 WSOP Event. No actual celebrity poker players around here, but we have some great poker players in the area. We have some underground games, but literally you can play all week, everyday. I like it better than the casino rooms.

We go about twice a year and stay at the Venetian and play over at TI, I like their poker room and the Venetian's best. I don't play for drunk men, but I know that around here there are only about 5-6 quality female players. Not many can hang with the boys, with the exception of pure luck.

Did you see the new Wolverine? Negreanu makes a cameo, as nothing other than a poker player in it. We thought that was cute... he is one of my favorite, along with Ivey.

I've played against daniel many, many times, he's from toronto ca, an that's 45 mis from any of the places I play at.. by the way thank you for the congrats.. I tried to give it all to them but the institute wouldn't let me.. roswell is the leading cancer research center in the world.. I would do anything for that place.. they saved my dad once, (from prostate cancer) now there going to do it again, he has lyphoma, an the cancer is in his bones, an left shoulder.. that's what made my break up a little tougher to deal with..

Ahh the drunks, love to play against them, as I call them is dead money.. I just sit an wait for them to play so bad that I end up with there money.. example today, I walked out up 350 dollars because the 3 drunk guys just kept playing dumber and dumber every hand.. your right the only time I lost a hand to the was pure luck.. the guy needed runner runner against my set to take down the pot, that's OK only cost me 125, that's when I left.. heartland poker, ill watch that every once an awhile on TV.. next week I am playing in turning stone wpt event, not sure if it's a televised event.. but if it is I will def let everybody know :)

That is wonderful about Roswell, sounds like a quality charity. Although I am surprised they can limit your donation.

We play and profit often, but not nearly enough to stop working and just play. I deal out here once in awhile also. I love to play, the game is always a challenge and every changing.

Poker is pretty serious around here, there is rarely enough drunk men at the table to take advantage of, although you can still love dumb luck.

We have a yearly poker league that we play in also. That is where the drunk players are, group of 16 and my partner and I are the only non-drinkers really in the league.

Yeah I'm in a 350 player league. It cost 200 to buy in then every week you play an cost $25 a week. Then at the end of every weekly tourny the winner of that week gets 1500 plus a points rating. An at the end of the year there's a final. An you get chips based on your ranking. Right now I'm ranked 2nd. An our end of the year tourny starts tomorrow night. I will start will 120,000 an the lowest will start with 1500. So it pays to be ranked high.
Roswell told me that I was to generous an said to keep the money.

Well I'm awake an feeling happy today!! No depressed thoughts. Again I can't thank you guys enough! I feel like the sun is shining just on me today. I'm going to live every second to it's fullest. Today of to niagara falls to do some hiken around it. If you want I'm taking a bunch of pictures an going to post then on Facebook. So if you have an account look for me. An join my friends list.

Threads merged and edited.

Yesterday I receieved a text from my ex saying " listen. I said leave me alone, leave my friends alone, if to don't , I will get a restraining order against you, or an order of protection." umm I haven't talked to her since last week Thursday when she said don't contact me anymore. An I Haven't. She also went on my Facebook an deleted some pictures. She also deleted my Facebook account but the reinstated it. I'm tryn not to think of her an I'm doing good. I'm happy I'm not with her anymore. But why is she doing what she's doing?

She sounds pyscho.

1-Change all your passwords and secret questions/answers

2- Keep not talking to her

3- If your not doing anything wrong then this is just crazy talk.. don't even respond to it.

Eck- be happy your out of that mess. She sounds cooky.

Sarah

Well leave her alone and don't contact her or her friends. She might have saw you drive past her house a few nights ago.

Move on and change your number.

Yup. Change your passwords and number.

You haven't contacted her, don't contact her. She sounds nuts.

First thing is to change passwords - every account, email, Facebook, myspace, etc.

This stinks. Sorry man.

Yep. I agree with you Liz.

Change your number!

Sarah

Sorry to hear about this. But it's time for you to block her out of your life. Block her on Facebook, IM, change phone number.

Sounds like she's baiting you. Don't contact her back.

If anyone should be calling the cops is you because she invading your privacy by going into your Facebook account.

Stay away because she is bitter now and bitter people tend to act very childish.

I missed that part Colonel regarding what she did to your Facebook account. And you can contact Facebook adminstrators to make them aware of your privacy being invaded to. But change everything now.

So where does the part about "she yelled and threatened to call the cops" come in?

Yeah, it really does sound like she is baiting you, and she is acting childishly. As for going into your Facebook account, and deleting photos and the account itself... she was WAY way over the line!

Like the others have said:

1. change all passwords/security questions/answers on accounts such as email, Facebook etc.

2. change your number. (You might also want to tell the people you give the new number to that they are not to pass it on to other people; they should ask you for your permission first.)

3. Don't answer any mails/txts

4. move on and stay away from her,

OK well I had a interesting day... she went on my page an did all that stuff. NO LIE, she went to the police station an said that I was calling her an all LIES.. I talked to the cop an explained that I haven't talked to her since the breakup, I told him he could look through the phone, I have the iPhone, it saves everything like a computer, an told him that she logged onto my account an changed stuff around, he asked me if I would like to put a restraing order on her.. I declined because I didn't start this mess.. I did change all my passwords an deleted anything with her in it... well I just got an email from Facebook an they tracked down the exact place an computer where it was hacked into.. yup HERS ay work, I just foewarded it to the detective, he just called me back, an said I did nothing wrong he just had to call me because she was at the police station... ughhh what a nut job..,. I was blind last week but I will never say another word again to her... the det. Also said that after he hung up the phone with me she still tried to press charges, he told her that he couldn't an actually could arrest her for invasion of privacy? Computer harassment.. I just want nothing to do with that sort of situation ever again.. an my lawyer friend found out her an that DA where dating for 3 weeks, an when he found all this out, he immediately had dumped her KARMA!!

I laughed when you told us that the DA dumped her. Karma is right!

I'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with the cops. I'm glad that they were very understanding and all the facts we sorted out.

Changing your passwords is the first step, but you also got to block her from all your accounts so that she can't find or stalk you. I would take it a step further, if you have common friends, you should block and delete them for the time being.

Change your phone number and block her from your email list as well.

If she starts bothering you at your house, then you might want to consider a restraining order. It won't be difficult for you to get one since you already have a police record of her actions now.

Wow, that's psychotic! I'm glad you're happier without her. I bet being single for now is looking pretty sweet at the moment.

Karma always work things out but whatever you do don't start back talking to her.

Her marbles are loose and you don't need her. Stay strong!

Haha... damn... Can you say DRAMA QUEEN??

Man, I think she likes the attention and they fact that she can tell people you are chasing after her and the more desperate she makes you out to be, the better she thinks she is and she thinks other people will be more attracted to her.

Be thankful she is out of your life and stay well away from her. It's a good lesson to learn... stay away from nutjobs... :)

Oh. I have taken all measures of blocking her and her friends. It really was a total learning experience. Karma always wins in the end. I do have the det. Number an they where def nice an helpful. I'm telling you the best part is when the cop told her she could be charged. I heard her in the back ground going "for what , I didn't do anything wrong " an the cop saying oh yes you did.

An your right she's an attention hound. She used to be a model an did pagents, she was 2nd in nys miss New York. That should have been my first red flag, man I've got the best friends ever.

Hey OK I blocked her. But today on Facebook I got a request from a beautiful girl, which I think it might be fake an my ex, there are some signs pointing in that direction, when I read her Facebook there was a guy on there that had sent her a message saying he knew she ( my ex) was a lier, an called her some names. He was first I was second. An I seen that another friend of mine who had dated her along time ago is on there. Well I emailed a few people about this an told them my hunch. There are also a lot of people that she used to work with. I just don't want any trouble, it seems (if it's her, an I have no proof it is) that she is looking to find out what I'm doing. What do I do, I blocked her from seeing my page so I think it's her

Yeah, it seems to make sense to me

This girl is turning out to be quite a stalker. Be very careful.

Go with your gut and be very weary of anything that doesn't seem right. Good luck

Thx. I'm keeping that so called girl on my page. The first thing I did was email one of her exs an explained the situation to him. He ask why he was getting dragged into it. I told him I have no clue. But it seems fishy. Second I asked her a few basic questions. Haven't gotten a replie. But I guarntee I will tomorrow between the hours of 9-4. I will repost!

Let it go! Stop contacting her exes and don't add the phoney friend to your account.

Right now your going down to her level playing these childish games. How do you expect to move forward while your moving backwards? This plan your putting in motion can backfire because right now your playing with fire.

Be on and do better things with your time. No more dragging people into this drama. I know you can find other things to do with your time?

Oh I know. I'm just warning those people what was going on. So they don't make the same mistakes that I did. The one guy I emailed wasn't an ex he was just a guy she was talking to while me an her where dating. I just don't want anybody to fall into the trap

But, see, you contacting her friends on Facebook - even with the best of intentions - may be what she was talking about when she said, "Leave me alone, leave my friends alone, or I'll get a restraining order."

You've got to move past this. Don't look at her Facebook page, your mutual friends, or their status updates. Don't message them and tell them to avoid her - they'll learn. It's not your job to protect them.

Please, for your own safety, just let it be.

I know it hurts, but let it be.

Thx. I'm keeping that so called girl on my page. The first thing I did was email one of her exs an explained the situation to him. He ask why he was getting dragged into it. I told him I have no clue. But it seems fishy. Second I asked her a few basic questions. Haven't gotten a replie. But I guarntee I will tommorow between the hours of 9-4. I will repost!!

Your making too much of this. At least the other ex is smart enough to know to stay out of it-- learn from him.

Block her, delete her. Leave it at that. If you have mutual friends with her fight the urge to talk about her, find out about her, look for pictures... she's no longer your problem.

You don't like the drama that comes with her then don't go looking for it either.

Just a thought..

Sarah

Oh I know. I'm just warning those people what was going on. So they don't make the same mistakes that I did. The one guy I emailed wasn't an ex he was just a guy she was talking to while me an her where dating. I just don't want anybody to fall into the trap

I know you're a good guy but this girl already got the cops involved and tried her hardest to get you arrested.

What will happen if she goes back and say you are harassing her friends because you want her back? Then she have the proof? It will look bad on you and they might not believe that you was doing it to warn them about her.

Let them find out by themselves that she is up to no good. Don't fall into this trap.

Move on, let go, and be free. I don't want you to get into any legal problems behind this.

Remember what we said about baiting?

Anything you say to your mutual friends, she will consider it harassment. She's just waiting for you to do something that can qualify as proof to bring to the cops, regardless of your intentions.

But, see, you contacting her friends on facebook - even with the best of intentions - may be what she was talking about when she said, "Leave me alone, leave my friends alone, or I'll get a restraining order."

You've got to move past this. Don't look at her facebook page, your mutual friends, or their status updates. Don't message them and tell them to avoid her - they'll learn. It's not your job to protect them.

Please, for your own safety, just let it be.

I know it hurts, but let it be.


It's not her page. It's a fake page the she set up. An the guy I emailed was not a friend. He wrote my ex an email an called her a bunch of names. I was telling him that I suspected something was up

It's not her page. It's a fake page the she set up. An the guy I emailed was not a friend. He wrote my ex an email an called her a bunch of names. I was telling him that I suspected something was up

Really what he does.. it's his own problem. I don't see why you had to email him.

Your making it harder on yourself to get that girl out of your life.

Sarah

I owe I understand. He already deleted himself from this fake page. I'm not stooping to her, I'm protecting myself. When I contacted Facebook they said if you get an strange request accept them, an they will investigateto find out where the ipl address is coMing from. This is actually to protect me, an the email to that guy was to warn him that the cops where already involved. An I have also forwarded the police this link. Trust me I have a lawyer that has my best interst, he is the lawyer for the teamsters. Like I said before if it's her she is screwing herself more. This will be harassment on her.

He's not a mutual friend. He was blocked from her page, along with 5 other guys, but on this fake page there are all 7 of us on it??

Wow.

Sounds like a big mess guy.

I'm going to be blunt but this is how I see it:

You and this girl are playing these silly little games of "I'm gonna get you". Your both become spiteful with each other yet, she still wants you in her life- why I don't know- chicks can get psycho about their exes.

I really think that you should lay off Facebook for a while. Before FB what would you do? Go outside right? So do that... hang out with your buddies, you won't die if your off social networking sites for a while.

I don't think this whole lawyer/cop thing is necessary, in my opinion this is all empty threats. But well you have a lawyer now-- so just leave it at what you have, don't go "searching" for more or instigating things.

This breakup should have been cut dry. Try and make it that way.


Just a thought...

Sarah

Hey ok I blocked her. But today on facebook I got a request from a beautiful girl, which I think it might be fake an my ex, there are some signs pointing in that direction, when I read her facebook there was a guy on there that had sent her a message saying he knew she ( my ex) was a lier, an called her some names. He was first I was second. An I seen that another friend of mine who had dated her along time ago is on there. Well I emailed a few people about this an told them my hunch. There are also alot of people that she used to work with. I just don't want any trouble, it seems (if it's her, an I have no proof it is) that she is looking to find out what i'm doing. What do I do, I blocked her from seeing my page so I think it's her

If you suspect that she has created a fake account, don't accept and block that user as well. And if more unknown people add you as friend; ignore it! When you block someone they can't see your posts on other peoples pages, she can't search for you in the search engine and she can def not see your profile page! This might be the reason that she created a fake account (if she created the account.).

She does sound like the stalker type, so like Black VY said; you should be careful! It really is a good idea to hang on to the detectives number.

The best thing for you to do, might to simply just ignore everything that comes from her for the time being, that way you are not plaiying this silly, silly game with her! Right now, she has nothing on you. Just like the cops said. So it might be better for you in the long run to keep it like that, so take Liz's advice to heart. Don't warn others against her, even if you're doing this for the right reasons.

Ok I just deleted my Facebook account. It sucks because a lot of my friends are from out west, an that's how we communicate, but I emailed them an explained my situation. I have a feeling I'm going to hear from this girl very shortly. Ughh

Good for you! But I don't think deleting your account was the best solution.

Well I reinstated my account. I deleted the phoney account. Now I just wait an hope there's no more bs. I'm so more active going out with my friends, an for the first time forever I'm going to go to a Sunday church, just to try it out. In no means am I religious person. But it's something new to try. My life is way to short, I have the mind set to try an be adventures as I can now. I'm going to do one thing a day that I've never done before. I've made a list. It's long but I plan to check one off everyday. An when I'm done with the list I'm going to start a new one!

You've made me scared to ever date again. Run forrest!! Run!!

Haha u made me laugh first time In a couple weeks. Don't be. This phsyco is near buffalo NY. I hope not near you ;)

I really don't see what the big deal is if you seen her Facebook and asking her a question about this guy as long as you were not yelling at her and just talking. I think she (A) is hiding something or (B) is just over reacting

Hey Colonel how is everything going?

Great liz, how are you? I've been kind of just hanging out, no dating yet, taking awhile off! Currently in las vegas for a bunch of poker tourneys. Anything new with you? Btw haven't seen or tried to contact my ex