I am 18 and me and my boyfriend want to get married next year when were 19. We have been together for six years. But I am so scared to even let people know because there so quick to judge. I told a few friends and they thought I was crazy. But I understand because mature wise my friends are still young. There in college but have not matured yet. Me and my boyfriend are both in college have great jobs with a future. And are very mature for our age, we both are financially well and would be able to live on our own. We have been saving money for a while now so well have enough to get married and move out. Along with other thing such as furniture,food,bills etc. My question here is Why is it so looked down on to get married at a young age? I feel that it all depends on the person and the situation. I know 30 year old who are not ready to get married mature wise emotionally and financially, while I feel I am. How should I go about this situation? Of telling people, and having to hear there opinions.

Most often when you don't want to hear others opinions it is best not to talk about it because people love to give their opinions based on what they want. Just wait until it is time and then tell them via the wedding invitation.

Well it sounds like the both of you are grounded- good job. The thing about marriage is although it is an adult decision, and it's really just a piece of paper, it comes with a lot of baggage. Your now at the age of entering adulthood and marriage will lead to responsibilities. Although you have great goals in the future, marriage sometimes leads to having babies.

Let me give you and example:

You are just leaving childhood and entering adulthood. By getting married your ripping that ticket up and taking an expressway to life.
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You two can still be together- what does marriage have that you don't have now? A ring? You have great goals ahead of you, getting married will slow you down. Your at your prime!

Slow down, love waits patiently.

The reason I say this is because I married young and I wish I had waited. Although my experience was negative this is my own perception on young marriage.

Sarah

I married my college love, but we waited (7yrs) until we reached our goals that we had set while in college. Its not that it is looked down on you should enjoy the time you have while your still young... IMHO I believe age 25 is the time to start thinking about marriage.

I think it's important to wait. The reason people think that it is foolish to marry young is for a reason - these marriages have a very low rate of success.

What's wrong with waiting a little, as other posters have suggested? If the relationship is as strong as you say and you're as mature as you think then why not wait a little?

I would respectfully suggest that it's only your perception that you're 'mature', because you've no previous life experience to compare it with, and, you've been with the same person for 6 years, so you have nothing to compare that with either.

Why the hurry? Live a little - study, travel, meet more people. Relax, have some fun.

There isn't anything wrong with getting married young so long as you really know what you want and that person is it for you. It sounds like you know what your doing and I wouldn't worry about what other people think or say because ultimately it is your decision and your life. You need to live your life for you and so base your decisions on careful consideration based on your thoughts and feelings. So I support whatever decision you have made... and here comes the BUT part of this and I will use myself as an example. I married at 21 but I have dated my husband since I was fresh 16... we have now been together for a total of 10 years, have a house, cars, kids, own a business, have another career and other financial obligations. It was all fun when we dated but then something changes when you get married... you become comfortable and secure with the idea but sometimes you look back and think about how life could have been different if you made the other decision... wage it carefully. I don't regret being in a committed relationship at such an early age, it may have even saved me from getting into trouble but 19... you are really young and a child at heart - or this may appear to be so in someone else eyes. In five years from now you will look back and go "gees, we where just kids". And the saying is true once you get there and a light bulb comes on... wow, I have changed a lot... in five years from now I will be 29 and I will be different then. Life brings so many lessons and experience - one day I will be a grandma! You need to think about the long term goals and where you could see yourself, wage out all the responsibilities and concerns that could be pressing on the marriage... after a while your new found love will be a relationship at work for life since it isn't easy and "Happily Ever After". I think your smart and you will have already done these things but what's wrong with staying in the relationship, enjoying camping trips, dates and all the fun stuff while still working towards your future... give it a couple of years... whats the rush? I wish I could be 19 again; I really would have done a lot more traveling... not letting a relationship ground me... so spread your wings and fly!

Just a note - if you marry the wrong man too young... you will have a lot of hardships later sometimes taking the turn for the worst. I thought I knew who I married but found out soon enough that he isn't who I thought he was.

Know yourself, know the other person well... how they handle money, stress, disagreements/conflict, issues in regard to sex, how they are when you are ill, angry, hurt, etc..

Do you have some of the same goals, do you have your own individual goals, have you discussed the possibility of children... would your roles change if had children? Do you like, or at least get along with, each others' families?

Discuss these things over the next year and see where things stand when you get to that point. Marriages that take place when you are very young have a lower success rate simply because both people are often still growing a great deal as individuals... you may find that this doesn't always happen at the same time or in the same direction. Some couples are able to work through those differences that they didn't anticipate... others are not.

I married my first husband at 19... just shy of 20 and he had just turned 20. We were married for 18 years. In some ways I am glad I married young, in other ways I probably should have waited. Hindsight... go figure...

I was married at 20. Sadly for all the wrong reasons. But we recently celebrated our 42nd anniversary, so I guess we also did some things right. Looking back, I would probably never get married knowing what I know today. But if I was to marry I would wait till at least 25 or better 30 before I did it again if I had a do over.

I think before a couple get married they should live together first. You get to see what they are really like because you can't hide your ways for too long when you live with someone. Also, this is a big tester for your relationship. If you can get along without killing each other then go for it.