I found out something awful and I wonder how to approach the situation. Through an acquaintance (that knew me and my ex) I heard that my ex was in a really bad car accident- his car was totalled and wrecked and he had suffered soime injuries possibly to his heart ( nuthing serious I was also told). I have been trying to move on with my life and when I heard this I did not know how to react. We were together for 2 years, but have been broken up for 5 months now. I do however still love him although I am trying to let go. We are not on good terms, haven't spoken in months since the split and when he saw me a week ago he walked right on bye, as expected. My question is- since I heard about this, what do I do? Do I ignore the situation entirely acting as if I never heard? Do I write him a letter or email asking if he is OK and needs anything? Or do I do something more drastic like show up at his house or send a card or something? I honestly want advice because I am trying to move past this relationship but I feel like every time I move forward I fall backward. Im not bringing this up to obsess over him or the past, I honestly do not know what to do if anything and I also am not bringing this up to get back with him or try and win him back since that is def. not and option for either of us. I do know that he is OK now, he's not in the hospital or anything. Any advice or opinions will help- thanks!

Well, if you know he is OK, I'd let it slide. Don't do anything. If you think you'll feel better by sending him a card, than do that. Do it because YOU'LL feel better, not him. And think about how you'll feel if you send him a card, and he does not even acknowledge it. You're still not over him, so you'll feel worse.

You have to do everything you can to make YOU feel better. Gauge what you do, based on how you'll feel. Not on how he'll react. Him walking right past you last week is a clear indication he wants nothing from you. He's not even civil to you.

Think about how YOU WILL feel before you do anything. Definitely do not show up at his house. That would be lunacy.

Also, I've read many of your posts, and I wonder, how can you still have such nice thoughts for this guy? If anything, you should have animosity towards him. This may sound bad, but I think you have to have some anger towards him, if you ever want to get over him. Haven't the things he's done to you, the way he's treated you, doesn't that tick you off?

I am struggling too with my break-up. But my sadness now is not so much over the fact that she is gone. The loss does hurt, but I'm sad that I let myself be abused by this person. And I am angry that anyone I loved could mistreat the way she did. This guy treated you as badly as my ex treated me.

This guy does not care about you or for you. You have to let that sink in. You're still I think holding onto a dream.

If he walked right past you when he saw you and did not acknowledge you, then clearly, he isn't ready for any contact. If you like, and you think you can handle the thought of no response from him, you can send him get well card. Just a short note inside, heard about your accident, glad to hear it wasn't serious, take care. That's it. Don't offer to be there for him because he's not asking for it. He won't feel overwhelmed and you'll feel less guilty. But only do it if you think it is something you want to do. Is it the right thing to do? I don't know how it could be the wrong thing? You're not going to his house, you're surely not calling, it's just a get well note from someone who was once in your life, that mattered a great deal at one point.

If you choose not to do anything, that's okay too, so don't feel guilty about that either.

I don't think you owe him anything. I know that might sound cold and hearltess but you say he is OK and nothing serious so I would just leave it.

As far he is concerned you might never of known anyway!

Knowing how much your struggling tirednhurt I just don't see the benefit in doing it.

I'm sure you would expect himt o call and thank you for a card or something but chances are he ownt and you will analyse and feel hurt about that and set you back AGAIN!

You have had so many set backs because of your willingness to contact him!
So don't IMO!

Just send him a card with a short, casual message on it, similar to what you'd send a co-worker in the same situation. Something like "Sorry to hear about your accident. Hope everything's OK. My prayers are with you." As you've heard many times already you've got to move on with your life. I'm not so sure you're doing that in a healthy manner. Don't expect this accident to serve as a catalyst for getting you back together again. It's certainly appropriate and decent for you to acknowledge that he had this accident and to wish him well, but nothing more than that.

Cianci, I think that is what she is hoping for by contacting him. I think she wants it to be that catalyst to bring him back!
Tirednhurt is struggling and I feel for her. But she has been constantly making excuses to contact him. I know this is a matter in which it may be warrented but perhaps it could be with the wrong intentions.
Hoping that it brings him back. Which it won't. And then poor tirednhurt is back at the begginning again. It was like when she tried to make the big grand entrance back into his life last time and he finally had to tell her to go. She is gone for good.
I just don't want to see her hurt more and more when it could be avoidable!!

My question before giving advice is... and BE HONEST... why do you want to acknowledge this accident? There may be some good reasons and there are some negative reasons, so please think about it, and let us know why... and then I can better give you an answer! :)

Go about your business and do not contact him.Why would you? Forget him.

Yes, Skell. I think she's reachng for straws at this point.