OK so here's my story:

my ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 and a half months ago after going out for about a year... we had a really good relationship, we never really fought that much and we were really close and he broke up with me by telling me he didn't feel the same way anymore and I asked him how long had he been feeling that way and he said "a week". This was on a Sunday and I didn't contact him at all and on that Wednesday night he called me at about 1am and told me he missed me and he realized I was the only thing that made him happy and he asked if we still wanted to hang out on valentines day (that saturday) and I told him I had already made plans with to go visit my friend jeff at his school that night and my ex seemed really jealous. The next night I kind of freaked out because I thought I messed everything up again so I called him and I ended up going to see him on valentines day. When I saw him at first I told him how much he hurt me and everything and we both started to break down crying and we laid there for a couple of hours and he told me he didn't know why he broke up with me and he didn't understand himself and that he loved me more than he did before.. it was like we were going out again and he told me he was an idiot for breaking up with me and he loved me so much but he didn't know why he couldn't be with me right now so I told him to try and figure everything out

I didn't talk to him for a week after that and I ended up calling him that Saturday and we talked on the phone for an hour about random things that were going on and I asked him if he thought about me and he said he thinks about me everyday and that he regretted breaking up with me and that we really did have an amazing relationship and stuff and I told him that I was glad we broke up because I learned a lot through it and what I would want to do better in a new relationship... then we didn't talk for a couple of days and he called me that Tuesday for like 15 minutes and just talked about random stuff and then that Saturday he Facebook IM'ed me and I didn't get a chance to reply and then that next Wednesday he called me late at night to tell me a commercial for "a connecticut haunting" reminded him of me and it was just because I go to school in Connecticut... then I ended up going to the same party as him that next Saturday night which was a month after we broke up... we started to talk as friends and stuff and he started confiding to me everything he's been going through (he doesn't get along well with his dad) and he asked for a hug and we hugged for a while... then he asked if I was going out with my friend jeff and I said no then all night he kept following me everywhere and asked for a kiss and I kept saying no because I didn't feel right and then we ended up going for a walk and stuff and we sat and talked and I told him I still felt the same and he said he missed me and wished things could go back to the way they were and he told me he knew we were going to be back together again and he loved me too... and then that night we fell asleep cuddling on the same couch together and he told me he wanted to spend the next day with me but we didn't really get a chance to because all of our friends were there too...

well he works at a daycare and all the people he works with are all girls and mostly in there upper 20's and lower 30's.. I found out the next day that he had been sleeping with the 30 year old he works with so I sent him a message online saying I felt like he was keeping something from me to why we couldn't be together and I was done putting my heart out there and I didn't think we could talk anymore... the next day I freaked out and called him and left him a message saying I was sorry for the message I sent him online and that I just freaked out and I didn't want to ruin our friendship and I wanted to see him while I was on break (I was on break that week)... well he never called me back and out of desperation I sent him a letter a week later explaining how I felt about everything and that I wanted to be friends with him for now... it felt good to send it because I just needed to get everything off my chest... well that was 6 weeks ago and I haven't talked to him since then but about a week and a half ago he changed his status on Facebook to "in a relationship" and I knew him and the 30year old have been going out for about a month now but I think he was too scared to change from being single because he knew I would see it but he changed it on easter and then IMed me later that day saying "happy easter" and I replied "happy easter!" back being nice which proves to me he was thinking of me... then the next day the 30 year old he's with IMed me and started asking how I was doing and if I was coming home for the summer and stuff and I was really really nice to her... in fact ever since we broke up I've been making sure I look like I've been having a lot of fun and I don't need him (I go to school an hour and a half away and he lives near my hometown so the only way he sees what I'm doing is through facebook)

well here I am now... and I was wondering if there's a chance he will come back... I mean my gut instinct is that he's going to be comparing the 30 year old to me and I know we had a great relationship and I know he looks back at it and realizes he had it really good... and I know its really hard to explain through everything I wrote how the situation really is but I just need second opinions... I know it was probably bad to send him that letter and I know it pushed him away but then he at least said something to me on easter showing he still knew I existed and the 30 year old is coming out of a bad relationship because her and her boyfriend broke up the same time as we did and she still lives with her ex and they have a kid so my ex can't really see her that much unless they go somewhere else besides his house or her house because he's 18 and obviously his dad would flip... I don't expect it to last between them but I was wondering if anyone thinks he'll be back after especially becaues both times I've seen him since we broke up he acted like we were going out again and we cried and I could tell he really missed me but something inside him was stopping him and he doesn't know what

sorry that was so much haha if you read it thank you.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/pretend-relationships-holding-dream-344755.html

He is in a relationship right now. So obviously you two don't have a chance of getting back together. Even if he does come back, why would you want him after going through all of this? He was using you as a backup plan because he wasn't sure if he wanted you or not. This is extremely hurtful and disrespectful to you. You should probably use the time away from him to reflect on yourself, what you want and what makes you happy. Thinking about him coming back isn't going to help any. All this will do is make it harder for you to heal once you finally realize that it's over. Don't wait for a person who obviously does not have your feelings in mind. Life is way too short to obsess over one single, insignificant person. Do your best to move on.

Kill that hope and move on.

Um, yea, right.

You both sound young , insecure and immature. No offence intended.

How do you know that he looks back and thinks what a great relationship you had? Because he SMS'd you Happy Easter? Wishful thinking on your part, I would suggest.
He won't be back.

I'd delete him off my Facebook account, get rid of his mobile number and go out and really have a good time. Visit friends, go to parties, see some movies, buy some nice clothes. Treat yourself.

Stop pining for something you can't have and don't delude yourself that he wants you, (after all, he's currently with a 30 year old, even if it doesn't last - and who is to say it won't?). Why would you want him back when there are SO many nice guys out there?

Get over it, get a life and forget him.

Um, yea, right.

You both sound young , insecure and immature. No offence intended.

How do you know that he looks back and thinks what a great relationship you had? Because he SMS'd you Happy Easter?? Wishful thinking on your part, I would suggest.
He won't be back.

I'd delete him off my Facebook account, get rid of his mobile number and go out and really have a good time. Visit friends, go to parties, see some movies, buy some nice clothes. Treat yourself.

Stop pining for something you can't have and don't delude yourself that he wants you, (after all, he's currently with a 30 year old, even if it doesn't last - and who is to say it won't?). Why would you want him back when there are SO many nice guys out there?

Get over it, get a life and forget him.

Couldn't agree with you more!