Ok Here is my story

I was with this one girl for a year and we had wonderful and rough times. She really loved me and so did I. After I broke it off... needed some time to myself.. with school or whatever. I didn't talk to her for 9 months.

I call her after that long and realized my mistake of not calling in the meantime. I realized she is the one for me. I could totally marry this girl. I love her and will fight for her. I will wait a lifetime for her to come back to me.

So we started talking for about 2 months.. I apologized I cried, she said she accepted. I told her I still loved her... she didn't believe me. She said that love is something that grows. I really do love her with all my heart and I made a stupid mistake of letting the one I love go. We talked a few hours every night again. She said she didn't want to be with anyone right now. I gave her a few gifts that are special to her.. she really liked them. One was one of her favorite book that I got her and she read me a few chapters every night. I drew her a portrait of her... got her her favorite flowers and she liked all these. I thought things were changning. She then started to back away and everything and doesn't feel as into me. I called her for a few days and she has been ignoring me.

My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. My friends tell me don't call until then. They told me that if she is at all interested in me at all she would call on my birthday. What should I do... this has been tearing me apart.

My birthday is in one week actually. She did mention things like "you are my soulmate"... before she started to distance herself from me. I know she doesn't want to be hurt again. What can I do to prove to her that is the case. I love her very dearly with all my heart.

Okay first of all it probably tore her up when you finished with her the 1st time you can't just play with peoples emotions like that I'm sure she has lost trust in you what's to say that if you get "busy" again you won't up and leave if you want this girl back you need to give her some space and gradually gain back the trust between the two of you I'm sure she finds it strange that you haven't been talking to her in 9 months then all of a sudden you are bombarding her with calls and presents and telling her you love her although you said sorry for before that just isn't good enough right now let her call the shots if she wants to meet with you fair enough but if you keep calling her and so on you will only end up pushing her further away.

What made you suddenly realise that she was the one anyway? If you ask me if you love someone as much as you say you love her you wouldn't have disappeared for so long I'm sure it looks to her that you were off doing whatever you wanted whenever you wanted and now your bored so you will go back to her to be entertained for another while until your bored again.

Take it from me when a girl says I don't want to be with anyone right now that means I don't want to be with you I'm not trying to sound harsh but I think you need a reality check when it comes to girls.

I hope I am wrong and the two of you will get together and be happy but take it slow for her sake and yours.

I do want her back I have to get the trust back somehow. She is a very romantic girl and I did mess up. I will never leave her this time when things get rough. Ever. I realized I was young and stupid.

She did say that she didn't want to be with anyone... but then she turned around and started calling me "hunny" and was really sweet.

I know it was a mistake of me disappearing for so long and that really did hurt her. I realized she was the one for me when I realized there was no one else in the world like her who loved me and cared for me and commnicated with me so much and had specific things about her that I really loved.

I told her I will wait for her how ever long it takes.

PS: she did mention she was confused about all this.

Right so, the both of us know now why she is confused I have listed that above so this is the time now to back off a little don't confuse her anymore take it step at a time ask her out to the cinema or for a walk, don't call her and declare your love for her that can come across scary.

You are making yourself too available to her, every girl likes the chase and the not really knowing what is going to happen next feeling, she knows she could call you this minute and you would be there for her as a girl I can tell you it not attractive you need to be more mysteries make her intrigued by you let her know your available and interested but that as far as you should say.

Okay so you know you love her but you don't have to tell her everything your thinking especially when you haven't even gotten back together that sounds to me like she is probably worried that you are looking for commitment from her and that's an awful lot to ask of her after all that has happened in the past.

If you take my advice you will see the benefits she will be more inclined to meet with you and just have fun with her no serious business!

Also try not to talk about the past as much as you can you have already apologized so leave it where it belongs in the past! Otherwise you will just keep reminding her.

Finally show her how you have grown up in the last 9 months that you are more sensitive now and realise that you were too immature at the time to be in a relationship with her, again you don't need to say this to her show her with the way you act towards her.

:) and don't worry just relax it will all come naturally

It is kind of long distance so I really can't go out with her. I am going to follow your advice and not call her or declare my love for her.

How do I make her chase me and miss me. I talked to a frined of mine and she said that if she calls you, that I have to ignore her at least once and call later or the next day. But How can I do that when she is not calling me in the first place.Im hoping one day she sees the book she was reading to me, her portrait and is reminded of me.

My birthday is on the 28th of this month. I hope she at least calls me then.

PS: the book I got for her was about her great great grand mother written by her great aunt who passed away. It is no longer published and you can't find it on amazon.com or barnes and noble. I not only found it for her... but it was signed by her great aunt.

I hate to do this. I have done this once another time, but I do not see the point.

I honestly did not read any of your original post.

Winning back love with ex.

There is no such thing as winning back love with ex.

Ex is an ex for a reason. I do not understand why you keep trying to go back to the past. Its an ex, now move on.

There are so many variables here, and if I read it right this person is also long distance.

Wow, wake up.

Joe

You did your part. You told her how you felt about her and now she knows. You can't win back you're ex, all you can do is take her back if she wants to come back, otherwise you got to move on. Stop contacting her and give her space to make the decision for herself.

Ok this is day 5 no contact from her. My goal is to go one week without calling her. Ive done my crying for now. I might do it again later. Im watching some Friends DVDs to keep myself entertained.

PS: She has a lot of guy friends and I'm just worried she is going to date them and fall in love with them and be taken away. Is this a normal reaction? Do you think she will miss me eventually when she is ready for a relationship... or to talk again?

PS: day 5 of her not calling me... I already tried to call her today. I mean me not calling her for at least a week or two.

Ok this is day 5 no contact from her. My goal is to go one week without calling her. Ive done my crying for now. I might do it again later. Im watching some Friends DVDs to keep myself entertained.

PS: She has a lot of guy friends and im just worried she is gonna date them and fall in love with them and be taken away. Is this a normal reaction? Do you think she will miss me eventually when she is ready for a relationship...or to talk again?

Its over, stop it already. No contact ever..

Enough already. Your afraid of what an ex going out with somebody. Let her go out. Leave her alone.

Im just thinking maybe she needs some space. When she is ready she will call me. I will wait for ever. Because I really do love her dude. People have told me that she would want to keep me around if any guy she dates doesn't work out. Im OK with her dating that's fine, but I will still love her.

Your goal should be to stop pestering her.

Go out and see the world. Yeah, you can entertain yourself for a bit, only because you think by giving her space it would help her come back to you- but it ain't going to happen!

If you live for someone else you'll never live yourself.

Buck up Chuck,

Sarah

Im just thinking maybe she needs some space. When she is ready she will call me. I will wait for ever. Because I really do love her dude. People have told me that she would want to keep me around if any guy she dates doesnt work out. Im ok with her dating thats fine, but I will still love her.

You're willing to be her back up when you can be someone else's not back?

Man, you love getting kicked in the b@lls don't you? I really don't know how many other ways she can tell you to piss off. She left you, doesn't call you, doesn't pick up when you become a phone terrorist. What more do you need as a sign? If you want to stop getting kicked in the b@lls, stop standing behind the horse with a stick

Ultima has asked for it in at least two other threads. Other posters have waited for it since this thread started. Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, friends and family alike, sit back, grab a coke and bite to eat, Ulitma grab some ice for your swollen balls and get ready to get Chuffed.



I was with this one girl for a year and we had wonderful and rough times. She really loved me and so did I.

You loved her. You have no idea how she felt about you.


After I broke it off...needed some time to myself..with school or whatever. I didnt talk to her for 9 months.

Once a woman loses interest, that interest is gone for life. One way to make a woman lose interest is by dumping her. Turns out this is not good for the relationship.


I call her after that long and realized my mistake of not calling in the meantime.

You realized nine months after dumping her that taking nine months to call her back after dumping her was a mistake? Seriously?


I realized she is the one for me.

How did you realize this?


I could totally marry this girl.


Uhhh, this girl won't answer the phone when you call. How do you expect her to show up at the wedding?


I love her and will fight for her.

You were knocked out in the first round. You were knocked so loopy that you don't even realize she left the ring and arena and now you are just swinging at anything that moves. The fight is over. The fans have left. Trust us, your trainers. Take a shower, clean up, take a break, and prepare for the next one.


I will wait a lifetime for her to come back to me.

Some people's lifetime is a day.

On another note, I hope you are not telling her that. You never tell a woman that you will wait for them. Why? Because then that is exactly what they will make you do. Wait. Just out of curiousity what are you doing again? Oh that's right, you are waiting.


So we started talking for about 2 months..

She sized you up to see what she could get from you.


I apologized I cried,

So you came off like a wimp. Women don't like wimps. Do not ever cry in front of a woman. I'm not telling you not to cry, because I'd be lying if I ever told you I have not cried over losing a girl, but never do it front of them.


she said she accepted.

Of course she accepted. She's got you crawling back to her, she's got you apologizing. She's even got you crying while you wait your whole life for her. Hell yeah, she accepted. She knows she can get whatever she wants from you and she's going to do it.


I told her I still loved her...she didnt believe me.

Oh she believed you. She just didn't want to commit the same answer. Instead she probably told you something like that was indirect but gave you hope, while giving her an out should you push the issue.


She said that love is something that grows.

Sometimes it just falls into place for me.


I really do love her with all my heart and I made a stupid mistake of letting the one I love go.

Okay. I agree with what you wrote, but the problem you have is you can not correct past mistakes with women. This isn't like making a right turn when you should have gone left and you can circle the block and start over. You broke up with her and she moved on. Then you came crawling back, begging for another chance. She saw the opportunity to take advantage of you and you let it.

Even if she had any kind of feelings for you, you never stood up for yourself so she doesn't respect you. Women don't go out with guys that cry, beg, and bother them all the time, because they have no respect for them.


We talked a few hours every night again.

So while she looked for someone else you gave up valuable time to her, and much of it.

No respect.


She said she didnt want to be with anyone right now.

She didn't want to be with you right now. Do you think if Brad Pitt showed up and wanted to date her she'd tell him that?


I gave her a few gifts that are special to her..

So, when everything else failed, and failed miserbably you kept going and gave her gifts. To a woman a gift is a sign that a man has nothing to offer and has to try and buy her love. Which ironically is what you are doing. No respect.


she really liked them.

She thought they were a desperate attempt to get her.


One was one of her favorite book that I got her and she read me a few chapters every night.

When you spent hours a night talking to her, proving to her you had nothing better to do. No respect.


I drew her a portrait of her

A very personal gift, not something you get when you are trying to buy somebody's love. Way to over the top.


got her her favorite flowers and she liked all these.

She like that they were free. She didn't think much of the guy that had to buy her love. A women's love is worth more then flowers.


I thought things were changning.

Really? I'd say they were getting worse. She had to be trying to get away from you more then ever.


She then started to back away and everything and doesnt feel as into me.

Sometimes it comes naturally.

Of course she backed away. You haven't taken one hint from her. Instead of letting her be, you keep on coming and coming and coming and coming and coming. She likes you like she likes a puppy. You are there to take her emotional torture, and she gets off knowing that a guy dumped her and then came crawling back, but she doesn't respect you in any way and will not in the future. You can't turn this around because to her you are just rambling and trying your hardest and she doesn't care.

I interviewed a guy for a position at my place of business last week and he just kept going on and on and on and on. By the end I just wanted to get rid of him so I could move on with my busy day and every time I tried to wrap it up he kept going on and on and on and on. I told him, I had a lot of work to do, I told him thank you for coming in, I told him we would be in contact with him, and he kept talking and talking and talking. Finally I told him I was done and he could go.

Your like that guy. She is giving you every hint in the world. You won't leave. I didn't hire that guy. She's not hiring you.


I called her for a few days and she has been ignoring me.

Huh. So you keep going further and further and she keeps backing off.


My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. My friends tell me dont call until then.

Why call then? It's your day, why not do something fun and for yourself instead of toturing yourself over a girl who doesn't like you.


They told me that if she is at all interested in me at all she would call on my birthday. What should I do...this has been tearing me apart.

Wow. Did you see what Rome said about you getting kicked in the balls. Don't worry I side with you. She isn't kicking you, she's using a baseball bat... wrapped in barbed wire... and lit on fire. She doesn't like you, she doesn't respect you, and she has zero interest in you. There is nothing you can do, you have come off so bad that she isn't going to be able to change her opinion because you have devalued yourself to her to the point you aren't worth anything to her. You are clingy, you cry, you have no self respect, you give so much that you are empty, you don't leave her alone when she ignores you. Bro, this is over. This was over a long time ago.

The only thing you can do now is let it go, find yourself again and make sure you do the exact oppositie of everything you have done here. Respect yourself, no gifts, no crying, and do not waste hours of your precious time with a woman on the phone.

Please listen to chuff, he is right as always.

Wow, this Chuff person seems pretty smart. Look, there is nothing you can do, you can't change other people, the only thing you can do is change your reaction to a situation. Right now this is about you not her. You need to get yourself under control, once you do that, things will make a lot more sense to you.

Why do you think she would fall in love with one of her friends? She has had 9 months to do that and would have done it by now! Anyway even if she does you need to realise you don't have control over that if that's what she wants you have to let her make up her own mind and her own decisions out yourself in her position so this girl you were once going out with calls you after 9 months declaring her love for you... your 1st reaction... prob scared! Then she starts buying you things and calling you all the time you would think okay this girl is desperate what a turn off! That's what she is going to think if this doesn't stop immediately, Do not call her no matter how much you want to let her call you and if she doesn't well then move on you have said all you can at this point don't embarrass yourself anymore seriously if you ask me you need to back the hell off and let her decide the ball is in her court now its up to her if she wants to play, another thing I can't understand is that for 9 months you were fine getting on with your own business then all of a sudden you can't bare not talking to her or being with her?? You say you are watching friends to keep your mind occupied (good idea) bit still what were you doing all that time when you weren't bothered about her to keep yourself busy? You can't just turn on and off your emotions when its practical for you.

If she decides to call you on your birthday play it cool have a chat tell her your plans for the day do not invite her to do anything as YOU ALREADY HAVE PLANS TO CELEBRATE IT if she invites herself along then well and good but please do not make out like your sitting around waiting for her to call, again this will be a major turn off!

Let her see that you are fun and exciting and not the dull moany person she prob thinks you are by now! :( sorry but I'm sure she thinks this is all a drag! So liven up make jokes make her laugh and be yourself let love take its course if this is the path for the two of you it will come naturally you can't force it!

Let us know how it works out! :)

Thank you everyone for the analysis and thanks chuff for coming and agreeing for chuffing. So I basically sent her an email rejecting her throwing her out of my life telling her that I have more important things such as living my life to her and that I might not ever be able to get her emails and that all I could be is friends. Even if she does call on my birthday... I will still probably have to ignore it now because I will be out drinking hopefully. Thanks people. I will let you know if she does call on my birthday which she probably won't. So I am over it.

Ultima ultima ultima!! No no no now she thinks your skitz! There was no need to send such an e-mail your supposed to think these things yourself not e-mail them to her oh I don't know! Hope it all works out for you anyway :)

Oh crap sorry. I mean I put it out there I am basically rejecting her and am living my life right now. Sorry alana... what do you mean by skitz? Crazy.. In a few months she might think of me but whatever. I mean I still love her and all but I have to move on right now according to them all here. If she does come back I would marry her but I doubt she ever will.

Oh crap sorry. I mean I put it out there I am basically rejecting her and am living my life right now. Sorry alana...what do you mean by skitz? crazy...? In a few months she might think of me but whatever. I mean I still love her and all but I have to move on right now according to them all here. If she does come back I would marry her but I doubt she ever will.

Yea I mean skitz as in crazy, okay so its good that you now realise that moving on is prob the best thing to do right now which is really good fair play to you :) just try to refrain from letting her know every thought that crosses your mind there is playing hard to get and there is being rude (dont confuse the girl anymore) lets see if she calls on your birthday if she doesn't move on don't txt her or call her (especially when your drinking) just let it go and enjoy yourself you;ll be fine I just know it ;)

I had no idea what skitz was either.

Ultima,

There was no need for that email. You don't tell a girl who isn't talking to her that you are not talking to her. She is just going to laugh at the stupidity of that. But the thing is you are not stupid. You are are emotional, and you are letting your emotions drive your behavior to the point you can't stop. Trust me on this, I've done that so many times and I've been where you have been.

Please do me a favor and read some of the posts on this site. Just read them and read the answers from people with no emotional attachment. You need to make it a goal to act like those people when you get emotionally attached to the next girl. You sound young, and I wish I had something like this website in my early 20's it would have saved me a lot of pain. Because everything you described was everything I used to be. When I Chuff somebody it's hard hitting because the usual answer is "wait for her she'll come around" or "your a good guy there's somebody out there for you." I listened to that BS for my entire 20's repeating the same behavior. The women came and went, but I never changed.

It wasn't until I was in my late 20's and it suddenly dawned on me, the same thing keeps happening to me, the women are interchangeable, but the pattern is there... why is that?

I was empty, yet giving more and more and getting used in the end just like you. My entire life I was told give to others and it will come back to you. I agree with that, but you have to have something to give. Empty answers are not it. I can't give you or anyone else advice if you can't do something with it. Advice like "it will get better" is not advice. That is just a phrase. You need to address the issue, because it can get better and I'm living proof. But right now you can not date anybody. You must build up your confidence and you must set personal guidelines for yourself when it comes to dealing with women.

For example, if she says she'll call at 6:00 pm. And doesn't. Don't call her asking why she didn't call. That's her problem. The nice guy in me used to say, "I'd better call her to make sure everything is okay." Now the nice guy in me says, "My time is to valuable to waste with people who can not back up what they say." I'm nice to myself.

If she has some problem, and asks you for advice give it to her once. If she fails to use that advice and her problem becomes bigger and she starts to dump it on you, flat out tell her you are not there for her to dump her problems on. The nice guy in me never would have told a woman that 10 years ago. Now the nice guy in me says that I'm deserve better then to accept someone problems they won't do anything about.

The nice guy in me used to give all kinds of gifts... and my line of thought was, "it will make her like me more." The nice guy in me now says, "if this girl needs to be paid off in gifts, then she has no depth." On that same note, I won't lie and tell you I haven't bought gifts for girls, since I've changed but I... and I know this sounds out there... but I use them like when I buy a raw hide bones for my dog. If my girl is has been behaving well for a period then she gets a treat. If she's acting up and won't listen then she gets nothing and usually ignored. Now don't get me wrong I realize women and dogs are two different things, dogs actually listen but you can not reward behavior that isn't positive towards you.

My point to all this is, you can't date anybody right now. You have to make some personal guide lines for yourself and if the next girl starts up, you have to put your foot down and cut the ties. Look you already do to a certain extent. If a seriel killer was interested in you, you'd probably avoid her. You've set up a guideline there that was sort of unspoken but it was set up. So now you need to set up complete guidelines about just how far you will go and what you will not put up with. Ironically enough, more women will respect you which will actually lead to more being interested in you. It really makes sense, your current girl sees that you have no guidelines, and put up with her abuse. So she does not respect you. Okay, that's one girl in 3 billion. Another one will come along but instead of screwing it up like I used to do, follow your set of personal guidelines. If she can't respect those, then cut her loose. Yourself respect is more important than any woman.

I want to answer the skitzo part and yes, skitzo means crazy. What you need to do is find balance, the gray area. Right now you are fluctuating between black and white at mock speed. Everyone knows the opposite of love is indifference, not hate. Hate and love are two sides of the same coin. All your doing is trying to prove how much you DON"T like her now, which is basically saying you still really like her. And is COMPLETELY opposite of everything you have been doing in trying to win her back. As a woman, this behavior makes no sense, thus makes you look crazy. You want us really, really bad and now are rejecting us? You need to show her you are balanced and normal and the only way you can do that is by BEING balanced and normal, which you are not doing by the whole "I love you, now leave me alone as I reject you" game you are playing. Trust me, she sees right through it. The BEST BEST BEST thing you can do right now is walk away. Truly walk away. If she wants you, she will find you. There is nothing you can do to cause this to happen. It will either happen or it won't.
How about this... GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU... remember that.

I have dropped off all communication with her now. Hopefully she calls on my birthday. If not fine. But It may be over... I will do new things in my life. If she comes back... I will take her back. I will give her the gift of missing me.

I have dropped off all communication with her now.

Nice plan. Stick to it, its easier said than done.


Hopefully she calls on my bday.

Don't expect her to, always prepare for the worse. You don't need her on your birthday, you got your family and friends who actually care about you and won't leave you.


If not fine. But It may be over...

It is over. Haven't you seen the signs yet buddy? What have we been trying to tell you this whole time.


I will do new things in my life.

You do the new things that make you happy, the things you always wanted to do but couldn't, now you have a lot of more free time to spend on doing stuff you want to.


If she comes back..I will take her back.

That's what we all say at first but eventually we ll think we don't need someone who betrays our trust and leave us. We deserve better, someone who is loyal and loving and trustworthy. Give it some time but don't expect her to come back you just might end up with disappointment.


I will give her the gift of missing me.

The point of NC is to heal, not to make them miss you and expect everything to be back to normal because it won't, even if she comes back things are going to be different.

Update: This is what she wrote back in email.

Yeah, I will disregard what you wrote but you know that it is okay as long as you were telling me what you were feeling. Your practice in medicine should always be your first priority and you knew that I always backed you up in your studies too. I wish you the best in that. :)
I've had some rough days and haven't been feeling the best. Went to my neurologist and it went well. Hope that things are going good for you! Always know that I'm here for you too. :)

Dinkle dorf.

Update: This is what she wrote back in email.

Yeah, I will disregard what you wrote but you know that it is okay as long as you were telling me what you were feeling. Your practice in medicine should always be your first priority and you knew that I always backed you up in your studies too. I wish you the best in that. :)
I've had some rough days and haven't been feeling the best. Went to my neurologist and it went well. Hope that things are going good for you! Always know that I'm here for you too. :)

DUDE I don't know if you can see this or not, but that is the "lets be friends" speech not the "i still love you" speech >_<

Yea I can see that it feels like the friends speech. Maybe in the future she will miss me. I haven't wrote back yet. I think I should leave it that.

Should I write to her in maybe a month or so let her know what's going on in my life?

Dude honestly, have you not been listening to what everything everybody is saying? Do we have to spell out everything for you?

No... you shouldn't write back. She's not in your life anymore and does not deserve to know what is going on in it...

Will she miss you? Maybe but stop focusing on that and thinking there is still hope bro, you're not going to move forward the hurt will just remain. Just live your life and disappear from her life.

Should I write to her in maybe a month or so let her know whats going on in my life?

How are your balls? Still swelled up? Does she take turns, like using the right foot then the left?

dude honestly, have you not been listening to what everything everybody is saying?

Not only do I second that, but I have to say if you don't want to get better that's your problem. But you obviously recognize there is a problem, so why do you seem intent on repeating your behavior. Has anything and by anything I mean ONE THING you've done worked? No. So why don't you start listening to those us who know what we are talking about. Stop it. Just stop. This was over a long time ago. In fact this was over when YOU dumped her. She knows it. I know it. Every poster here knows it. Your friends know it. My dog, who is getting a bone for being smart knows it. IT IS OVER.

do we have to spell out everything for you?



I-t I-s o-v-e-r

Ok I understand It is over.

Ok I understand It is over.

Do you really? What suddenly made it clear?

Ok I understand It is over.

Understanding its over and doing something about it is two different things.

Go get out enjoy yourself stop thinking about her just leave it now and stop anoying yourself that's the closure you needed to see now stop pondering and go get some nice gal for yourself! :) best of luck in the future x

So update. I called her the day after my birthday left a message, just to say hey what's up and see how she is doing. She calls back and it was OK, she said she didn't mean to hurt me. Then she starts talking about how she doesn't think she is beautiful (fishing for compliments)... I told her why doesn't she date all the guys she talks to and stuff, she says she's not attracted to them at all... blah blah blah... I think she just trying to use me to make herslef feel better about herself. Im not going to give her the benefit of a boyfriend if I get nothing in return. I mean I was nice... told her yea yea.. your beautiful... youll find someone... I just rejected her... I don't know what kind of games she's playing...

She is not playing any games you are. You called her, remember?

Leave her alone.

Dude, what are you doing? She's just saying that to get some "feel good" off you because she knows you will kiss her _. Don't keep being a wimp all your life. Honestly man, listen to that Chuff guy, he really knows what he's talking about. By the way, thanks Chuff, I took what you had to say as advice for myself.

I think she just trying to use me to make herslef feel better about herself.

Can you explain how this is different then anything else she's done.

As a girl, it seems to me she likes someone else who may not be interested in her so she is looking to you to boost her ego. You didn't "reject" her because you called her. Why would you even be thinking about "giving her the benefit of a boyfriend" but won't cause you get nothing in return? She is not asking for you to give her anything 'like a boyfriend" she is not looking to you to get the benefits of a boyfriend. She is feeling sh*tty from some other situation and is looking to feel better and you happened to call. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?

She said "here boy" and you came running. You like the abuse and nothing anyone on here says is going to teach you what you need to do, you have 5 pages of USEFUL information, yet you continue to do what you want.

Its okay guys. If he doesn't want to take our advice, he doesn't have to. Its his life and he can do whatever he wants. He ll just find out the hard way that taking our advice is the best route. He keeps coming up with new situations but it's the same thing...

Ok I am taking your advice now... I went out last night and met a nice swedish girl who I conversated with and dropped off at her home... nothing happened... just exploring my options.

Your options shouldn't involve a girl. What have you done lately to fill the void in your life?? People don't make other people, people make themselves. Now that you found a new girl to give attention to, the other one becomes irrelevant. When will you depend on yourself for happiness?

Dude making another girl the rebound isn't the answer. You just met her, you don't have any connection with her yet and you wouldn't want to play with her feelings.

Man I was up in a club in nyc and me and this one chick were danicing and making out and she wanted to sleep with me but her got dang friend took her away and put her in a cab... she kept on coming to me in the club when I was alone... I wish my car wasn't in the shop I would have drove them home... im getting over her slowly

lol in that case I guess its okay as long as both of you know not to get involved more than that. Dude you are not ready for a relationsihp yet but there's no harm in getting out there and having some fun =P

Why do you think I'm not ready for a relationship?

DUDE!! Because you just got out of a relationship. Why rush into a new one? You ll be thinking about your ex when you're dating someone new. You ll just want anyone to be with to fill the void of lonliness etc.

I don't think you are ready for a relationship or was when you were with your ex. Look at what you write, you were so broken up about your ex and wanted to know how to "win" her love back, and already you are bragging about some "chick" you just met and made out with and could have slept with. You my boy need to seriously get your priorities straight before you think about getting into any relationship.

OK I will give it some time to heal. I still do think about her often

ok i will give it some time to heal. I still do think about her often

As you keep No Contacting her, it will get easier and you will find yourself starting to think about her less.

Man i was up in a club in nyc and me and this one chick were danicing and makin out and she wanted to sleep with me but her got dang friend took her away and put her in a cab....she kept on coming to me in the club when i was alone....i wish my car wasnt in the shop i woulda drove them home...im getting over her slowly

Dancing with a drunk chick in a club doesn't mean there's a 'connection'.

You are so obviously needy and desperate that being in a relationship in all you think about. Just go out and have fun. The reason this girl wanted to sleep with you was because she was... errr drunk. People do things that they wouldn't normally do when they're drunk.

Focus on being happy by yourself.

ok i will give it some time to heal. I still do think about her often

Dude, I still think about my ex at times too, and it has been 8 months now. Your thoughts mean nothing, your actions mean everything. It is what it is, and right now you need to realize that someone else has nothing to do with completing your life. Only you can have that impact. Make it happen!