I have always had problems with girls. I'm 14 and haven't even kissed a gal in dares. But looking at the way people behave it seems that all girls think about is body, sex and hunk. I'm none of those... I'm calm, clever, academic and very mature. But that isn't what matters to the people around me. To me I'm not good enough because I'm not 'fit' and I'm not 'cool. I feel like such a reject but I know that I'm above that stuff. Its so shallow but it still brings me to tears when I sit by myself and am blanked whenver I speak to people. I want to know all the girly secrets! No hiding please. Maybe if I hunk myself and stay mature... maybe ill finally get a girlfriend. But I need everyone's advice and experiances. Thanks in advance!

Hey,

well obviously I can't speak for all girls because everyone's after something different.

Looks attract people first and really theirs nothing you can do about that but a lot of girls go for personality over looks.

I'm 15, to be honest I don't know what attracts me to guys. Tallness and dark hair for me at first but that's about it. I'm not into the whole 'hunk' thing. Every girls different. I am into what you have going (calm, clever, academic and very mature) and I'm sure a lot of other girls too but those aren't thing that you can tell just by looking at someone.

Do you hang about/talk with much girls at all?

And just to let you know, some girls find the whole reject thing hot.. ^.^

And let me emphasise you're only 14. I know I'm 15 and can hardly talk but after I came out of a long enough relationship quite a while back I realised that its quite ridiculous to spend lots of time worrying about the other sex. And maybe its different where you live but at 14 most girl shouldn't be thinking of sex from a guy but I don't know.


My advice is dotn worry about it because it'll all come together in time.

Good luck

Thanks for the advice :) at school obviously I have to talk to people around me... girls but really they just hate my guts. But I reckon that if I looked better then maybe people might give me a chance so I can show that I'm a nice person. Umm about the whole rejected thing being hot... I'm moving to belfast :D I know I shouldn't worry about it but I feel so sick. I have never been good enough and it really gets me down. Hope more people can help me out. I think it is easier for people to talk about this stuff because everyone here has come here for help. Hope I find some more of these people who actually care about me as a person. Help?

Man when I was 14 (I'm 31 now) I was maybe 5 feet tall weighed 90 pounds soaking wet with rocks in my pocket and glasses that were to big for my face. So of course when girls first met me there was no interest but once they got to know me their feelings changed.

You have to be confident that is the main things. People can tell when you don't have confidence Stand up straight, Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Don't be afraid to just start a conversation with girls. But don't start the conversation thinking I need to date this girl. Start the conversation by just wanting to get to know the person. It is hard I am not going to lie to you but if I did it you can!!

I hope its as simple as that. Its not really that I'm after girls its just wanting to fit in and to have friends. I am not expecting to have a girl friend any time soon. But it would be a lot nicer for me to have some people around me who don't feel like I'm a skank who no-one is allowed to talk to nicely. They make me feel like I'm not wanted and that I should crawl into a hole and die. I was thinking of investing in a slendertone... I agree its extreme to do something like that but I honestly think that people might alow me to show I'm a nice person if they like the way I look and if I'm more confident about that aspect of me.

Well why do people think you are a skank? What are you interested in? You don't need slendertone you are a young guy you should like into to push ups and sit ups.

I don't now why they think I'm so ugly. They just think I'm a retard. I'm not motivated enough to do situps and push-ups. I'm interested in personality over looks. Sensiblity, maturity, individuality and someone who isn't afraid to go against what everyone else thinks. Those are the things I'm interested in. girl wise.

Everything that you are interested in shows you are probably more mature then most people your age. What do you like to do for fun?

I understand it is hard to motivate yourself to do sit ups and push ups. I have to convince myself every morning to go to the gym. But I think you are not giving yourself enough credit. You are motivated enough to ask people how can you deal with a problem.

Try doing this start just doing 5 sit ups and 5 push ups. Once you realize hey that wasn't so bad add another sit up and push up then add more. Before you know it you will be doing sets of 10 or 20 without even breaking a sweat.

Well I do do situps a lot to be honest. (50 at a time) but I have ogt out of the habit recently. For fun? I like to go out and have a nice time with my non-exsitant friends, go to parties and have a laugh. I sit at home playing computor games. Its pathetic.

Hey, I'm back!

Yeah, I agree with everything spitvenom says. The exrsize will make you fell better and probably more confident.

If the girls all think your ugly then stick your middle fingers up at them because I bet you in ten years time you'll be a total hottie and they'll feel wick that they never gave you a chance.

I don't know about anyone else but I believe there's someone for everyone so don't worry.

Have you considered the possibility that because you are more mature, smarter than most, and as you said, calm, clever, and academic, that they might be intimidated by you?

What if all they have is their looks, and they know it. What if they are immature, can't carry on an intelligent conversation, and spend all their time in front of a mirror, because they cannot connect on any other level, but a superficial one.

As to the guys, the one who is six foot, puffed up and bulletproof, has little between his ears other than he looks good. He will attract other likeminded female counterparts, and between the two of them, they are still short a couple of taco's on the combination plate.

Your attributes are the very things that women who are not like the above examples, look for. While you are thinking that you are the odd man out, you are, and for good reason. Think of the total here, the total package.

Do you really want to fit in with them, or should you identify more with others who have similar qualities.

Maybe time to shake off the old, and find ways to welcome the new.

Thanks people. Big confidence boost! I have thought about it being intimidating to them but somehow I don't think they are. Apparently I come across as a miserable loner not a uputy, in your face "im better than you" character. Any ideas on how to find people who are similar and mature? And we are now talking about women. 14 year old women are hard to come by I think. :( I guess I just have to wait my turn and keep myself active and outgoing. Any good ideas as to where to find a lovely young lady to make me feel better about myself? :S

I dont now why they think im so ugly. they just think im a retard. im not motivated enough to do situps and push-ups. im interested in personality over looks. sensiblity, maturity, individuality and someone who isnt afraid to go against what everyone else thinks. those are the things im interested in. girl wise.

Then you should be looking for someone like you, who isn't into look and is more interested in personality. If you think about it, would you want anyone to like you based completely on your looks? It sounds like you're better than that.

any good ideas as to where to find a lovely young lady to make me feel better about myself? :S

I think this might be part of your problem right here. No offense at all, but in order to make someone else happy, you need to be happy with yourself. Go out and have fun! You shouldn't need someone to make you feel better about yourself, but once you find someone you can share your happiness with that person. Just be yourself and do the things you love to do. In doing that, you'll find someone with similar interests. Good luck! =)

Thanks ZoeMaria! I love dancing so I'm going to go out and do some salsa and latin at the local club. I don't think there will be many girls there but... its what I enjoy doing. I am happy with myself on some levels. I know there isn't much actually wrong with me, like my personality and things but I find that I feel better about myself if people genuinly like my company and talking to me. Maybe it works both ways, I need support to make me feel good, but then when I feel good about myself ill be more positive and things will improve. I geusse its not much use waiting around, I got to get out there and be positive about everything. Still... any ideas on how to get girls to come to something 'not cool' like dancing?

Well, just ask them if they want to go dancing with you? If yes, great! If not, then you know. To me it sounds like fun!

Well now I just need to find a sensible, mature girl to ask :) (pretty is a bonus) do you think it would be more likely to work if I was 'physicly attractive'? Otherwise its just some weird thing with a normal guy. If 'freak' and 'reject' are normal lol

Lol. You're funny. And funny is a plus. I wouldn't worry so much about how you look. It's the personality that matters.

Wish that was true for hormanal, stroppy teenage girls :D

Hey, chill out brah, girls are the most complex little beings in nature, and that's why I loves them so so soooo much, their adorable, I love girls maan
You got to be like this, don't act like your superior, that's just going to turn them off, if you act smart, that's cool, but don't act like you albert freak'n einstein, also, make 'em laugh, be laid back, chill, and tell some jokes, funny jokes, those are normally the best kind
And hey, try a sport, any sport, doesn't have to be lacross or football, just something thatl get you in decent shape, I'm not a girl, but in my experience, no cute girl is going to want some one who can't lift a few weights, and plus, kissing a girl while carying her, its like nirvana maan, its great
But hey, your 14, your young, your only in middleschool, don't get in to that superficial bs, prepare yourself for the big HS, and chill, schools important, girls are important, but right now in your life, which one is going to get you further

I am definantly not going to let girls get in the way of my work. I know better than to waste time on pathetic things that die away in an instance. I want to perform well in all I do, hockey, dancing and school work. It would be nice to have some friends whilst I do that :) I don't try to act superior and really I feel inferiror, small and worthless but then I am always told that girls also like confidence. For shape I was thinking of getting a slendertone or something. I know its not the way to do it but I think it's the only way it is going to happen.

Me personally, I like boys who are mature not afraid to be themselves when their girlfriend is around their friends and is affectionate all the time. It doesn't matter about the looks, if girls blank you they are not worth talking to. Don't wory you will find someone, there is someone out there for everyone, hope I help x

I just think its good to me strong while dating, only if your sexually active, I'm going to get a lot of crap for that
Also, if you like playing around with your girl

Well I am a girl. Im sixteen so I can't speak for all girls but some girls look for in guys what guys look for in girls. When a guy see's a girl with an overbite, coke bottle glasses, overalls, and very messy hair they usually don't look at her like girlfriend material. They don't get to know the personality. The same thing with some girls, when we see a guy who is weird, acts strange and isn't very attractive we find it hard to get pass his looks and move onto his personality. Some people really solely on looks while others on personality. Time will tell you who is good for you. And as for your first kiss, I wouldn't be too embarresed about not getting kissed. I am sixteen and I have nevered kissed a guy before. I was dissapointed for a while but I realized that I don't want to waste my first kiss on someone who might not be with me a year from now. I want it to be special and so should you. You shouldn't be so worried that people think it's weird you never had a first kiss but if you want it to be memorible I would try waiting. Good luck :)

I do think I'm all right as a person but it might be a good idea to try and make myself more attractive. What do you think makes a guy attractive? 6 pack? Muscly arms? Thin? I need help on the really girly secrets and why they always look for the 'hot' guys.

I do think im alright as a person but it might be a good idea to try and make myself more attractive. What do you think makes a guy attractive? 6 pack? muscly arms? thin? i need help on the realy girly secrets and why they always look for the 'hot' guys.

Well for "girly girls" they usually want a guy with big muscles, not like the hulk, but reasonably big" a good abdomen (six pack) and a nice smile. But like I said before, some girls may not like muscles, or six packs, and some girls don't like guys that smiles so it depends on who you want to attract.

It doesn't matter what you like but one thing that is important is confidence. Both genders are attracted to confidence because that shines through.

I not into the hulky kind of guys, never have never will be. They might be great to look at but that's will it ends.

I love a guy that makes me laugh. Humor is the key to my heart. I love a guy that is smart and who can hold a conversation on every topic. I hate talking to airheads. Or I hate for a conversation to be a struggle like your pulling teeths.

Major turn off he is cocky guy or a Mr.Know it all. These are major turn offs. Oh and stingy breathe. If there isn't medical reason behind it he should carry gum or mints and don't tell me you didn't know. Everyone should know this.

Comments on this post
AManWithNoName agrees: haha, I love this answere, so, what you think about mucisions

Their okay! I can join them because I can sing and dance right along with them. They just going to be good.

Comments on this post
AManWithNoName agrees: haha, i love this answere, so, what you think bout mucisions

Their okay! I can join them because I can sing and dance right along with them. They just gonna be good.

Cool, I was in a band, we split, but that's a great way to meet new people, drummers are heads though, and lead singers, think they own the band

Well I play in 3 orchestras, a jazz jazz band and a brass ensemble. I am an old Chorister from Exeter Cathedral and I play Trumpet, Piano and drums. Im musical but music isn't cool these days. :( shame because I enjoy it a lot.

Well i play in 3 orchestras, a jazz jazz band and a brass ensemble. I am an old Chorister from Exeter Cathedral and i play Trumpet, Piano and drums. Im musical but music isnt cool these days. :( shame because i enjoy it alot.

Music isn't cool!?
What do you mean by that

I think musicans are really cool. My last boyfriend was a guitarist in a band and now there's another guitarist I'm eyeing.. ^.^ I'm addicted.

If you play drums you should try get yourself into a band because the music world is always short of drummers. Rock/jazz bands seem to be getting very popular these days.

I don't know what you mean by "music isn' cool" because I love music. All kinds of music. I learned many years ago how to play the gutiar and loves it. Music is good for your soul. There a beat for everything and you hear it all around you. I listen to music all throughout the day, it fuse me up So don't downplay music or musicans.

Sorry that wasn't clear... I love music I think music is cool but its never my opinion that counts when trying to get friends. NO-one thinks singing or playnig instroments are cool where I live. Adults do but people my age are completely against it. Sorry about that

My whole life has been shaped around music. If I wasn't musical I wouldtn be able to get scholoships to good schools. I would just be another untalented comp kid.

haha, ive done lead, vocals, and that stuff james hetfield does, but in all my expierence, drummers are a** holes and need to die, but, being in a band is a great way to meet girls

Not all drummers need to die, I know a few nice ones..
And lol I know, I sing with a band when their singer cant, they said when I'm with them its funny how lots of guys seem a bit more interseted in the band... :rolleyes: boys..






And to Nalla.. what is cool where you live?

Dude your only 14 man! No need 2 worry at all, I suggest however, you just focus on your studies, try your hardest in them, get involved in other things, like sports clubs etc. hit the gym for instance, girls will begin to notice you are taking care of yourself and having a great time, and will want to be part of that. Girls in those yrs tend 2 go for the bad boys ahah, but when you get a little older, they will start 2 notice more. You should deffo start 2 hit the gym though, by the time your 17-18 u will be all muscular, and girls will drop at your knees man!

My oh my
I'm your age and I go for the geeky guys who like computers and preforming arts this one guy whom I thought of dateing was cute and little chubby but then not all girls are like me if they were the world would be over run by hot airheaded guys thinking about sex
I know that dateing is big to you at the moment and you want to met girls but believe me now is just the start you have years DECADES to get a date and have some fun right now study is important it'll get you some where and then once your finatually stable you'll find people at work or a nice girl at a party
Dude I wouldent worry you sound really nice buffing up isn't going to get you grades only dissapointment when girls don't see the difference but remember life doesn't treat people fairly it gives them a unfair situation to over come and put things in there own hands
Like you say love yourself so follow your own advise:):)

Thanks for all your advice. I know I have to study and everything... but I am literally an A* pupil. Just got my GCSE chemistry results back and got 50/50. I end up spending weeks at a time not being talked to. Ill go up and try and start a question then they just give me a blunt one syllable answer. I would like girls to want to be around me, even if it means doing something like going to the gym. I think I'm fine as a person, I'm mature and sensible but like you say I'm no bad boy. Maybe if I was attractive I could show girls there is more than looks to people. But that isn't going to happen unless I'm 'fit' or 'hot'

You don't talk for anyone for weeks sometimes? That's not good.. I have classes in school were no one talks to me and I can deal with that cause I know its only those classes.
Try do more things outside of school, is there a youth club near you?

And random question but how are you doing GCSE's if your 14? Is it coursework? I'm 15 and I'm not doing mine until next year..

Anyway, get to know some people outside of school, you need good friends, its not healthy to not have any.

At 14 I only had one or two close friends.
I wasn't even thinking about boys till a few years later.
My first kiss was at the age of 17.

There's no need to rush things.
You are doing excellent at school and that's what counts at the moment... trust me, girls will take more notice of a guy with a good job because he excelled in school than the popular guy who had average grades and is working at McDonalds.

Hope your right shazamataz. Everyone says it is more important when you get older. I go to quite a posh school, we are not a rich family but I got a good scholarship. We just started our first module in Chemistry and Physics and took the exam last term. I get back quite late from school and the nearest place is about 30 minutes drive away. I know its not healthy to have no friends and I'm trying really hard to sort it out. I am going to try a cheap slendertone because I'm sure it is going to boost my confidence when meeting new people. Its not that I don't speak to people. It's that I am always cut off, contradicted or overwritten by someone I get on well with my teachers and I work hard. I just want school to be a little more enjoyable!

Yeah, do what ever makes you feel confident, in the end it doesn't matter what others think but more what you think of yourself.

And if people are going to cut off or contradicted you there's no point in trying to talk to them. I've given up on people like that.

Hey again

I just want to point out that when a person beats everyone else on a test they get labeled its wrong I know but it happens and your on 14 it really doesn’t matter weather you have friends or not there’s a kid in my year and he’s really nerdy but he just be's himself and doesn’t try to hide it and he’s one of my closest friend so don’t hide yourself if you get on with our teachers great then you'll live thought the next however many years of high school or middle school or whatever the schooling system is because when you hit university or college that’s when good grades count I mean who wants to date a dumb hottie than a smart guy who is getting in shape and looking after themselves not me!

Take it from a peer live as you would if you did have friends don’t try to fit in be who you want to be and if that’s not acceptable who cares?

Thanks Sphira! I shouldn't have to change myself. I am doing it for my own confidence and welfair, not for their expectations. Thank you all for your help :) has been a really boost to what I thought was a sensible idea. Thanks again

Take it from me... I would raither date a smart, mature man than somebody who can't spell the word Mississippi. I think brains is a turn on. Don't worry about the not kissed somebody thing. When your time comes, it comes. There will be a girl that is for you. It may not be today and it may not be tomorrow. But your little princess will wait for her prince.

:) I'm waiting lol. Will wait aslong as it takes because that moment will be a special one. Thanks guys! Long live AMHD

I would say the defintition of a guy I would want to go out with is excactly how you described yourself. I tend to hate guys who are loud, obnoxious and all over confident. I would SO much rather be around you then any other guy. Looks don't matter as much to some girls ( like me) so I'm sure that you'll find someone who is like that. Just don't stress about it because I'm kind of socially awkward too and whenever some one talks to me I can't really find the words to say, so you're not alone.

He's never alone... he has us! :D lol

Nalla, how many kids are there in your grade? Depending on that amount I'm am positive that you will find someone that is interested in computer games as much as you are. I spend some extra time with friends playing games online like WOW. Im 16, and I'm kind of the social guy, but I was never always that way. I got into sports( baseball, football, soocer) made lots of friends, and my confidence level jumped. For u, just find other kids that are into things you like to do, and you feel comfortable around.

Hey! You're obviously pretty smart for asking this! I'm 14 and I want my guy to be caring (he has to care about what I feel and how I'm doing), smart (he HAS to have a smart guy of course! Someone who I can talk to without dumbing it down.), ambition (he has to have some idea where he wants to be in the future. Like career, marriage, kids, stuff like that that actually matters in life. It annoys me when guys only think about sex and video games. :( ) And he can be good looking, but I'd rather date an ugly guy who cares about me and loves me more than life itself than a drop dead gorgeous model who treats me as part of his property. I hope I helped! :-)

Thanks people :) I go to a small private school and at the moment there are 15 people in my year. :( not easy to find people other thean the ones around me. It is really nice that sumeone else my age thinks about more than sex and video games. I hope you find your sensitive clever guy... You definanty deserve him.

Its also Great to have so many nice people on one internet site! Lol... its really nice to meet such unerstanding and like-minded people. Shame all the people around me seem to think I'm some trash to avoid and yelp at the sight of. Things will get better and you lovely people have really helped me get out of a silly emotional ditch that has made my life dismall and boring. :) great to have a fun club... will be posting soon about how life is great soon! (dont hold your breath) but hey... ill keep trying :D

I'm dating a girl younger than me, don't allways got to date your age
And as for the small class thing, sign up for a camp, co-ed so you can meet new people and try and un shelter yourself if you get what I mean bro

Hey don't even stress about it, you're still young... trust me, but I know that wasn't your initial question so I'll answer that one. I'm a 14 year old girl and I do NOT like hunks, or anything of that sort. In fact the guy I like right now is nothing of that sort, he's lanky and face full of zits, but I love it anyway. Trust me, I know a lot of girls like me who have that taste too. I like mature guys, obviously not ones that think they are better then everyone else due to their maturity, but mature guys definitely. You should wait until you're a little older to be getting hopped up over this, most 14 year old girls are just horny and will be willing to do anything, and their weakness are manipulative hunksters, please don't be one of those guys, you're on the right track right now if you know right from wrong and if you are sticking to your true colors and not changing yourself to fit in with the ladies.

Thank you... it really means a lot to know its not just me that thinks all the hunkstes are lucky because the girls are horney. Its sad... but ill live! How bad can it be?

Anyway, I've seen you around this site and you even answered one of my previous questions so generously, so let me tell you it seems like your personality is top notch; in the end that's what really matters to girls like me at least. And yeah, a lot of the girls who like the hunksters are horny little school girls that don't mind being used. Hunksters may be hot, but in the personality dept. they get a 0.. So don't worry, as you get older you will meet mature girls who dig you.

I think you sound cute,if that helps. And not all girls are sex obsessed, they look for personality more, but some are stupid and go for the looks, but I'm not like that

Im 14 and what I look for in a guy is that he's nice , isn't mean to people at school specially ones who feel out of place, same interests as me, don't try to protect me all the time but when needed, aren't sexist, aren't pervs, they will comfort me, won't ingnore but will talk to them when they like you and acts like they want to talk to you, sticks up for themselves, sticks up for their friends if they deserve it, but mostly just a genuine guy hope that helped!

But don't worry the right girl will come allong but don't be desperate only date someone you truly like! I think its best to stick to your age level, also since your academic don't (im not saying you do) but don't put other people down if they don't do so well in school. I would be immediately attraced to a guy if a kid was having a tough time and he's said to the kid "its fine just keep working at it!" and really since we're the same age I have to tell you that I have the same issues Im athletic Im a girl I'm 5"8" but, I still have confidence issues! Just like you sometimes I can't even speak and I asked my sis in the car (she 16 and she rocks) "When did you find out who you are?" and she told me after a while of talking, "eventually you just have to not care what people think and be who you are!" it just takes time ! What I do when I need confidence is I look myself in the mirror and point out what I like about my personality and what I dislike but do What you like last and then just think about it for a while and then decide , "am I going to let what people will think of me when I say what im feeling stop me?" I find that when I felt socially the best it was right after I said that to myself . And didn't let it stop me ! If people don't like you for who you are then they just won't and its OK I know some for me, and Im OK with it! I just got to show them that I don't care and if they cross me Il stick up for myself and making yourself look a little better is not a bad thing Im self confident and Im not fat or anything like it! "OreeoShowProductions" Youtube if you want to see watch "The talking Apple" but I find that watching comedies make me feel more self confident too! The one that makes me feel that way is "She's the Man" a soccer flick! And getting a girlfriend isn't that big of a deal and remember speak up but don't pressure yourself to speak when youfeel like it but remember if you don't speak that much people will think you "The non talking kid in class" which isn''t good speak everyday and don't hold back and what I do is if I get embarressed because ofsomething I did I always think oh well it won't matter later in my life anyway I mean think about it when your an adult no one will still be talking about the emmbarrasing thing you did! And my friend michelle said to me she said "but your never nervous" and boy I AM!! Remember everyone is self confident issues even if they don't show it REMEMBER THAT Friend! And talk to me on YouTube if you can! Your truly -Brooke B

I meant stay near your age as in don't date younger ones or more than 5 years cause those usually seem to be using people that younger than them sorry for three in a row lol -Brooke

well, just ask them if they want to go dancing with you? if yes, great! if not, then you know. to me it sounds like fun!

It sounds fun to me too!! Too bad you prob don't live near me haha!:(;)

Well, to be quite honest I agree with a lot of people who have answered this. It's not all about looks that attract guys. I once went out with a guy who was really skinny and had a bad attitude, and it was his attitude towards me that made me dump him. To me, its all about the personality, not the looks, although sometimes the looks can draw a girls attention to the guy, its more the peronality. I mean, if you like someone, then you like them, it doesn't matter what they look like, its how they treat you. :)

Thank you all so much... it has been a great help to hear from everyone! Its great to have a sight like this that offers support for everyone... hope I can repay you all when you need some advice! :) feeling better now.. nearly holidays and time to relax. Allan

Wow! Thank you so much for asking this question :) I'm like a complete copy of you when it comes to personality. We also seem to have same interests. I really like music ( I'm a drummer - not and idiot :P and a beginner guitarist ) and computer stuff :)

The thing is that I very often feel misunderstood.. I am also a calm guy and I'm a thinker ( I really don't like that since it takes me ages do decide upon simple decisions.. ). My grades though are getting worse since I'm starting to find no sense in school (don't think of me as some lazy dude.. I got to the best school in the country but I guess I'm starting to think too much about the meaning of life and I'm getting closer to the fact that school isn't everything). Girls in my class actually call me emo (I can assure you I'm not emo but that wouldn't even be a bad thing) and they most probably think I'm gay since I rather hang out with guys.

I would also like a girlfriend but for another reason - I would love it if I could give a sh*t about what the whole world would think of me but have this one person that would understand me and love me.

I am also not a well built guy.. I am skinny and not muscular at all :( I guess it would help me boost up my confidence if I did some exercises but I hate to think of that as getting closer to social standards - I would like to be myself! The dumb thing is that I don't like myself when it comes to the looks :) . I think I'm a nice person to hang out with (my good friends (male) know that) but girls at my age ( I'm 16 by the way ) don't seem to care about the personality. It's really strange because I would expect girls to be more mature in the best high school in the country...

So yeah thank you very much for asking this question again! I would also like to thank all of the people that understand NallaNeedsYou and me :) It's nice to know there are this kind of people out there. This topic gave me hope :)

Best Regards!

Im glad its not just me! I aren't really the one to advice... but there it is... 7 pages of great answers and things that should help all those of us out there lol :) just keep going and keep your head up... think about how hard other people to get to good schools.. you have the opportunity of a life time don't waste it :)

Hey my name is carla I just turned fourteen I want to say that I personaly don't just go for looks I go for intellegence funny sweet and I hate to say this he can't be to bad looking
Be yourself and socialize don't for into the its all abot me mode and act sincere no don't act be I love a guy who compliment
Another thing if a girl says no move on and don't be pushy I meen don't ask her over and over again give her a break
Things will work out I promise

personally I go for looks first. It's a thing by nature I think... but I am making a difference between a perfect looking guy with a bad attitude and a good looking guy with a caring attitude =]
Things will find their way dude =]

Now that is slightly different and I think I can understand it a little better... I like this girl, she thinks I'm nice and sweet, I make her laugh and we are planning to go and see a film etc but she says she hasn't been out with the boys she has been asked out by because she doesn't like them like that. Any ideas what I'm aiming to be?

Well, are YOU going to consider this a date?

It's important to know where you stand, because you don't want one of you thinking this of as a date, and the other just thinking it's just a friendly hang out.

I'm under the impression that this will be a first date.

Well, if I read what you posted and understood it in the way that you intended, then she basically told you she DOES like you back.
Don't try to do anything either of you is comfortable with. Just hang out, watch the movie, enjoy it, and enjoy each other. If anything more needs doing, it will come naturally.

Good Luck

Well,
I can't speak for all girls but I would probibly want a smart guy. Not all of us care about looks.
Just be yourself. That should do the trick.

PS. Remember also do not be afraid to show amotion :o:):(:confused::mad::p

Well, I'm smart, and I've dated someone who is dumb, and it really puts a downer on things. But my current boyfriend is smart, and that is 1 of the things that made me want to date him.
In your case, you say you are smart, so there must be someone out there that is smart and admires that in you. Maybe she is too shy. DON'T be afraid to make a move. That's a big mistake some boys make that are shy.
Observe how girls act towards you. If you're in class, be aware if any girls are staring or something like that. It MIGHT mean that they are into you or at least checking you out.
Don't worry. Someday you'll find someone :-)

You're only 14, so it's not that big of a deal if you haven't had your first kiss yet.
I'm a girl and let me tell you what I look for in a guy. I'm not going to lie, looks do help. It's what attracts us to a person in the first place, so it's not shallow saying that looks play a part. But at the same time, they aren't everything. I've met some extremely hot guys that I want nothing to do with because they're stupid, immature, mean and cocky. But anyway, I also like a guy who's smart, funny, nice, sensitive, respectful, and confident. That's what most girls look for, but usually they only act on it later in life, girls can be just as blind and shallow as guys. Any girl who determines whether she'll go out with you by your looks, is not worth your time. You seem like a really nice, smart, mature guy, someone any girl would be lucky to have. Just give yourself some more credit, don't be so hard on yourself, confidence can be way more attractive then looks. I've liked guys that other people say are really ugly, but it's just the energy they put off that draws me in, even if they aren't exactly "hot". Best of luck to you.
P.S. If it helps, I'm 15 and still haven't had my first kiss yet. ;)

This may have been said already but I didn't read it. So sorry if I am repeating someone.


See... the thing is, at 14, teens are very shallow and superfisial (didnt spell that right) only interested in the popular, hunky hot guys.

But see, when you become an adult, and when you ARE ready for a girlfriend, you will see that adult women, once they mature, are much more interested in the smart, polite, gentle guys who can offer security and kindness.

So keep your head up and don't worrei too much at this point :) just relax and have fun hanging out with your friends.

If I'm repeating anybody sorry...

Ummm I'm 14 about to be 15 next month and I've always hung around girls whether my age or not and I know that it really isn't about that. Girls are people too and they want to be comfortable around you. Right now I'm going into my sophomore year and I like this girl and were good friends I've known her for like 2 yrs. If you ever like a girl don't rush at things either because you want girlfriend... trust me your time will come every girl doesn't hate you... im actually one of those athletic boys even though I'm not tall and muscular but I am friends with so many girls..

It seems most the girls you've been trying to get are all es anyway :) What most kind, honest, non-shallow girls look for is what you have. For me and most my friends (I don't know for everyone else out there) intelligence (only because me and my friends are exceptionally smart), Personal hygiene, Average looks, Manners, Maturity, Sensitivity, Kindness, and individuality. What isn't attractive is that attitude of im-too-cool-for-this, An obssession of how good your six pack is, acting stupid around your friends, being overly rude, and I'm sure you can figure out the rest for yourself. Any decent girl who is good enough to be your girlfriend shouldn't care whether you have a six pack or not. Right now, I'm in love with a guy who's an inch and a half shorter than me, has a body like a bean pole etc but he is a beautiful person, and is beautiful in my eyes, even though he isn't in most people's. Someone will notice you and fall in love with you, if you are a nice person. So just remember that your clearly waaay to good for all those skanky girls who just want a guy with a six pack, wait for the right girl who loves you for who you are, not for how you look. I know you've probably heard this all before, but it's the truth. Xx

I'm a girl myself and what i look for in a guy is a good personality(not too smart,not too dumb) and also something that he has in common with me.
and his eyes are a main thing for me, if he doesn't have cute
looking eyes then i won't like him.

Always keep in mind that all girls look for different things in guys.


Hope I've helped! :)

Man when I was 14 (i'm 31 now) I was maybe 5 feet tall weighed 90 pounds soaking wet with rocks in my pocket and glasses that were to big for my face. So of course when girls first met me there was no interest but once they got to know me their feelings changed.

You have to be confident that is the main things. People can tell when you don't have confidence Stand up straight, Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Don't be afraid to just start a conversation with girls. But don't start the conversation thinking I need to date this girl. Start the conversation by just wanting to get to know the person. It is hard I am not going to lie to you but if I did it you can!!!!

Could not agree more
Try out new things do the things you never done before and try to act like a teenager not a mature person time will come when you have to act like a adult
Take care

Its not right to judge someone from the look, its wrong and stupid, people have to understand that people have personalities, and I no that inside of you is a nice gentle and awesome person every girl would be lucky to have, maybe you should show what you are really, so just be honest, don't fake.. ever! And most important be yourself, just be U, thts all I got, best luck for u.

Don't worry mate, my first kiss (was in a dare) was last year, and I am turning 18 in August this year.
Just be yourself. At some point certain girls will be naturally attracted to you. No need to seek it out.
I have never only had very few girls attracted to me, but in the last few weeks girls seem to have changed their outlook towards me and started to seem more interested. No need to worry about it at all, just be you and don't give finding a girlfriend much thought, these things just happen, you don't plan it out.
Also, some advice that everyone in the world should be taught in school.
Shoulders straight.
Head up, eyes forward.
Back straight, no slouching.
Be confident, be yourself.
Think before you speak.
That will help a lot. No girls going to take notice of you in a good way if you are slouching in the corner.

Don't worry too much about what you look like now. If the girls don't find you attractive yet, then so what. Instead of playing games on the computer, try going for walks, or riding your bike. Also try picking up an instrument.. if you haven't already. I know drums and guitars tend to be chick magnets. Tho personally I think dummers are better xD! To be honest... I can't stand hunky guys! Most of the time they are self centered jerks. Oh and to the people that won't hang around you, they don't know a good thing even if it hits them in the face with neon lights. Look for other friends to hang around.

You know what, being mature isn't so bad you know. I fall weak at the knees for boys who are mature. I'm 13 and have lots of 14 year old friends who are girls. Some of them are not into sex and hunk. There are lots of people interested in charismatic, intellecutual boys who are ready to open their hearts to them. We like good listeners. Try and make small talk with other girls. I'm not that keen on passive conversationalists so someone to speak to and make light conversation to is always nice.
I know it sounds really strange but you should try joing a drama group. Drama is a fantastic way to make new friends, who share the same passions than you. In drama hunkyness or "cool" doesn't matter. You have a laugh with everyone. I found love through drama, it's fab! I totally recommend it. And it gives you so much self confidence.
Did I mention the ability to make people laugh is good. The fact that you claim yourself to be mature shows that you understand that true beauty lies within. Those that are just passing you by and not speaking to you don't have real eyes and are not as mature as you because they don't see the real you, the true loving person which I'm sure lies deep within.
So keep who you are, make light conversation, develop an ability to make people laugh and get involved with a group self boosting confidence pastime, such as music and drama. Take it up, believe me it's fun, even if you are only working backstage you get to meet lots of new people who WILL appreciate you for who you are.
And by the way, to me you sound like a lovely person :D

OKAY don't try to change yourself to get girls I'm 14and I fell in "love" with a guy that I wasn't even attracted to at first. You need to act really sweet. You don't have to be boring girls LOVE a sense of humor. Do really nice and things for a girl you like. Also PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE never ever act differently around her just because your guy friends are there. So to sum up- be nice. Be funny. Ask her questions about herself (girls love to talk about themselves). Tell her she is beautiful, NOT HOT, but beautiful. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Help her out if she needs it.