Hey there,

Right, so I went on my first date with this girl last week, and I'm seeing her again tomorro night...

We got on really well and ended up making out, grinding and stuff like that, which is really not like me, both of us wanted to go all the way, but had to restrain ourselves, due to those unwritten rules about 1st dates... (whoever wrote them, I hate you)

But, I'm seeing her again tomorro as I said, and I do want to go further with her, but I also don't want to rush things, what would you say is the most we can do together tomorro in your opinions? We have been speaking to each other for a month or so now, and really have clicked... We have chatted about sex and stuff like that, and I think she is more experienced than me in that department, but again, I don't want to rush things, but on the other hand, if I really like her, why wait? We get on great, have loads in common, and she finds my innappopriate and rubbish jokes hilarious...

Thanks :)

This is not something you can plan with any certainty.

I would say be open to the possibilities and be spontaneous.
To be safe and ready,bring condoms.

She will let you know how she is feeling and if you have any questions or are unsure,don't be afraid to ask.

We women find that a very endearing quality,a man who admits he does not know everything :)

If I really like her, why wait?

Because if you start with lust, and not explore other things you will crash, and burn, when the lust wears off, and there is nothing else left. That's why you wait, so you won't take lust as love, and get your hearts broken.

The longer you wait and the more you get to know each other to make sure that it's what you want, the more special it is.

You can never take back the first time with any girl, so make sure that's what you really want. Is it all about the sex or because you really care about this girl?

Think I really like her... and I know she likes me back, its strange, but things are moving really fast, we are trying to slow it down, but when we are actually together, its like we can't keep our hands off each other, and never have any periods of quiet, always chatting...

How old are you? This plays a huge factor.

Make sure to masterbate prior to the date, helps with your hormones.

How old are you? This plays a huge factor.

Make sure to masterbate prior to the date, helps with your hormones.

You mean to clean out your pipes... flog the dolphin... just make sure you don't get anything in your hair! :cool:

Think i really like her... and i know she likes me back, its strange, but things are moving really fast, we are trying to slow it down, but when we are actually together, its like we can't keep our hands off eachother, and never have any periods of quiet, always chatting...

I moved fast with my BF and we are coming up on 12 yrs.

When the feeling is there and you are consenting adults,I don't see any harm.

Clearly,there is more to a relationship than lust and I don't think you will crash and burn too soon.

Sometimes we just have to give in to our passion.

I realize I am in the minority with my take on this but oh :rolleyes:

I realize I am in the minority with my take on this but oh :rolleyes:



Without giving out too many details - you aren't entirely in the minority. My husband asked me to marry him on our first date. I thought he was crazy. We got married about 8 weeks later. Everybody thought we were both crazy.

It worked. We clicked. It was fate. It was karma. It was a giant leap of faith. In retrospect, yes, we must have been crazy.

So - I don't know that starting "in lust" means that a relationship is doomed. I would like to mention that there was no first date pawing. I have no comment on the second, third and subsequent dates.

I am absolutely not joking - we had magic.

What is a cracking girl?

I'm 22, and so is she :) I'm a month older... I know, there is something there, and to be honest, I want to kiss her, and cuddle up to her... I'm a snuggly kind of guy :D

cracking girl = a great girl, nice, friendly, sweet, pretty, funny, effectionate...

Seems like you are already way too attached...

Yeah, but that's the sort of guy I am, get attached easily, but to be honest, I don't think there is much wrong with that, I think she is too... just want to give it a go, and if stuff happens it happens I suppose...

I know exactely what you mean, but I've taken it slow before, and it never moved forward, and I'm not sure if I want to risk that... its strange really, but although I know its early days, I want to get close to her, don't care if we don't have sex for a while, just want to cuddle up together and chat in an intimate setting...

Define an "intimate setting" for me - I can't decide if you are looking to snuggle with her, have intercourse or something in between.

And now I'm going to preach - I would hope you both have discussed your sexual histories and you are going to protect yourselves?

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
artlady agrees: I am still in it for the long haul so I guess there is no hard and fast rule,no pun intended!.[/QUOTE]



I am on the floor with laughter! Good one - intentional or not!

Intimate setting, is a glass of wine in my flat on the sofa, with some relaxing music in the background cuddling up to each other. Kisssing and talking all night

Oh, and never had unprotected sex, don't intend to until I'm settled...

I married my husband when I was just a year older than you. I'd say just do it. Do it as much as you possibly can because some day you will be wishing you had, if you hadn't.

Having sex with her in my opinion, won't determine if anything will develop from there. It could lead to a long, loving relationship.

Honestly, it seems like the fact that you both said, "Not on the first date" is giving you the impression that date number two will be a booty call.

That's very abrupt for me to say that, yes, but that's the way it came off when I read your question and the ensuing replies.

You can find a VERY intimate restaurant with candles, wine, and a table for two - if you put a little work into it. Because, I can guarantee, if you go to your place for "wine on the couch, snuggling" with every intention to "talk all night" that's NOT going to happen.

Know that you're physically attracted to her, respect that, and if you don't want to view this date as a means to an end (i.e. a booty call), simply make other arrangements.

Best of luck!

I think you may be 100% right, 2morro I'm meeting her at her area, might take her to her local pub for a drink or two, going to make it a "cool" date, somewhere where we can just chill, relax and chat, the last date I took her to an up market restaurant on the canal side in birmingham (UK), would like to go somewhere normal with her, this way there won't be as much pressure for us both to try too hard.

Also do I take flowers? I know she likes bueno chocolate...

I would skip the flowers (I hate spending the evening looking after flowers) but I would definitely get the chocolates.

You sound like a very romantic guy who thinks things over. In fact, you are sounding better and better!

Know that you're physically attracted to her, respect that, and if you don't want to view this date as a means to an end (i.e., a booty call), simply make other arrangements.

Best of luck!


I hope you realize I'm not trying to hijack this thread but this made me smile - on our second date my husband made what he later called his Infamous Move on Judy. I said, "If I go to bed with you, how do I know you'll respect me afterwards?"

And he - with big blue-eyed studied innocence - actually said, "I'll respect the sh*t out of you afterwards."

And so I'm remembering and smiling.

Im always the romantic, I just have to make sure I don't get too attached too fast, as that has been my downfall in my past, I have called her a lot recently, and think she hinted it a bit, so I'm going to try and cool it down a bit I think, its only early in the whatever this is, no rush, then again, I don't want to take it too slow... think ill go for the chocolates too, she will find it more romantic, as we had the chocolate converstaion earlier... by the way, what the hell is a Bueno?

At the end of my life I hope I will say,yeah,I took a chance on love.. and even if I lost,man,it was good!

Its hard to ignore magic when it's there..

at the end of my life i hope i will say,yeah,i took a chance on love..and even if i lost,man,it was good!

its hard to ignore magic when its there..

Best quote of the day for me that!

Threads merged

Hey there all,


Very strange for me to feel like this, goosebumps when I see her, joy when I get a text, and my heart just stops when I see her smile...

Today I went to see her for our 2nd date, and she treated us to ice skating (which was fun, although I did fear for my life... but luckily she was as bad as I was lol)...

On the first date, we kissed a hell of a lot, and therefore today, she imposed a kissing ban, so we could get to know each other better. At the time I hated this, all I wanted to do was kiss her... But, had a great time chatting to her, still hugged and held hands etc...

Im just worried about the way I'm feeling about her, I have never ever felt this way about someone before, and I hate the feeling that I can't stop thinking about her. Im not one who likes to open those trust barriers etc...

Anyone got any answers, what am I feeling, and how can I keep myself in control of my emotions... (and loose that urge to want to kiss her lol... its torture)...

Its so easy to give advice, but when it comes to yourself, its impossible to stay level headed...

Thanks... p.s. I'm a guy, 22, and from the uk... lol :)

The only thing I can really advice is respect her wishes and tell her how you feel ,without scaring her off. Too much of anything can be a bad thing.

She seems to be interested also but she seems better able to control herself.

Give yourself a mental pep talk before you see her and advice yourself to play it cool.

You sound like your are lovestruck :)

Have you ever been in love before? What you are describing to me sounds like the whole infatuation phase/high most human being experience when they meet someone new that the like. Its completely natural. All those chemicals in the brain working overtime. Enjoy the feelings that you are having now.

have you ever been in love before?

Never, I've felt lust for someone, but never love... I do like this feeling I'm having, but I'm constantly feeling something weird in my stomach now, and can't get her out of my head...

All I want to do now is cuddle up with her like we did earlier in my car, having her in my arms... (only problem is... she seems to like my man boobs... and likes to squeeze them... hmmmmm... lol)

Maybe its love that you have finally found, would that be such a bad thing?seems like she is enjoying you just as much and just wants to take her time. Just relax and try to move forward at her pace.

Good luck to you

Well, you can always try to "take care of yourself" before the dates. Haha. Jk. Just focuse on having a good time. Respect her wishes. Girls love it when you do.

It's so great when you first meet someone that you really like. She is right - you guys should take the physical part slowly. Get to know each other and enjoy each phase of the relationship without rushing through it.

I know exactely what you mean... here is are my problems:

- Im the least patient person in the world for everything, and I have told her this, and explained that she needs to tell me to shut up if I try and rush things...

- Im afraid of being in love, as I don't want to get hurt - you hear about it every day...

- I have trust issues, 3/5 of past relationships ended due to cheating scumbag bicthes

- Im sexually inexperianced - I don't want to dissapoint.

I want to be in love with someone, but I don't want to fall!

i know exactely what you mean... here is are my problems:

- Im the least patient person in the world for everything, and i have told her this, and explained that she needs to tell me to shut up if i try and rush things...

- Im afraid of being in love, as i dont want to get hurt - you hear about it every day....

- I have trust issues, 3/5 of past relationships ended due to cheating scumbag bicthes

- Im sexually inexperianced - i dont want to dissapoint.

I want to be in love with someone, but i dont want to fall!

If you fear love and are not putting your heart out there ,you are safe right?

Wrong.If you fall you fall and all the planning in the world isn't going to stop it.

Your fear can imprison you and not allow you to experience life to the fullest.

There is an old expression and I believe it to be true.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

There are no guarantee's in this life and love is the biggest leap of faith there is.

Inexperience in bed is easily fixed .Practice makes perfect.

You could be Don Juan but every girl is different and you have to get to know her,that is what makes a good lover.Knowing the person you are with.Mind and body :)

How come it is so much easier to give advice, than to take your own? I don't understand us humans!! I'm already missing D... how pathetic is that... lol

How old is she? She around the same age?

Yeah, it definitely sounds like you're falling in love. Don't worry I did it too, it happens.. lol. But everyone is right, you need to take it slow. If you rush things, it'll all blow up in your face before you even truly get to experience this potential love. Let it all unfold as you go, no need to hurry.

Yeah, it definately sounds like you're falling in love. Don't worry I did it too, it happens..lol. But everyone is right, you need to take it slow. If you rush things, it'll all blow up in your face before you even truly get to experience this potential love. Let it all unfold as you go, no need to hurry.

:D just enjoy the feelings you are having and stop looking for excuses to be miserable, love is one of the most precious and rewarding gifts we can give and receive as human beings. Be happy you have found it.:)

First you need to know that all females aren't the same. Okay I can understand you have been treating poorly by some females in your past but let that emotional baggage go.

Approach each new relationship with a fresh propective and give the person a chance. If you think your trust issues are going get in the way then don't enter a relationship and work on your issues.

This is an contradiction " I want to be in love with someone, but i dont want to fall?". You don't know what can happen if you don't give it a chance. Being in love is grand but just make should you don't fall for all the wrong reasons. View the qualites of person your with and make sure they are what you want.

Don't assume that all because she had more sexual partners she has more experience. You might be able to show her a thing or two when the chance arise. Be confident and let go the negativity.

Take things slow. Get to know one another through dating. Talk, talk, and talk some more. Go out but don't forget to have a life by still maintaining a relationship with your friends. Don't let her be your everything because if she leaves you would have nothing.

Hey there,

Right, so i went on my first date with this girl last week, and im seeing her again tomorro night...

We got on really well and ended up making out, grinding and stuff like that, which is really not like me, both of us wanted to go all the way, but had to restrain ourselves, due to those unwritten rules about 1st dates..... (whoever wrote them, i hate you)

But, im seeing her again tomorro as i said, and I do want to go further with her, but I also dont want to rush things, what would you say is the most we can do together tomorro in your opinions? we have been speaking to eachother for a month or so now, and really have clicked... We have chatted about sex and stuff like that, and I think she is more experianced than me in that department, but again, I dont want to rush things, but on the other hand, if i really like her, why wait? we get on great, have loads in common, and she finds my innappopriate and rubbish jokes hilarious...

Thanks :)

I think this original poster edited the original post :confused:.

I say go with the flow and enjoy the evening, whatever happens happens let nature take its course, with protection of course.:D

I'm 22, and she is 22. Thanks for all the answers... I guess I jusdt need to force myself to take it slow then? How slow should I take it, and when do I know it's the right time to take things further?

im 22, and she is 22. Thanks for all the answers.... I guess i jusdt need to force myself to take it slow then? how slow should i take it, and when do i know its the right time to take things further?

Let her lead the way! Follow her lead and you will be fine. Chill :)

You could take a chaperone on your dates, For your interests as I'm from brum too, I'll come along and supervise and all it will cost is my drinks all night lol.

Just play it cool and as its been said let her take the lead, just remember stay busy and don't make her the center of all your attention. But I hope it all goes well for you mate.

im 22, and she is 22. Thanks for all the answers.... I guess i jusdt need to force myself to take it slow then? how slow should i take it, and when do i know its the right time to take things further?

Holy sh--.If you two want to have then have sex, what is the big deal here, I donot see the whole point in talking it slow, what is that suppose to achieve.You said you two have been chatting and have a lot of stuff in common, I donot see how this is going to change even after having sex.

Originally Posted by musicianguybrum https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_imgs/buttons/viewpost.gif (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/dating-cracking-girl-just-want-some-advise-344207-5.html#post1685995)

im 22, and she is 22. Thanks for all the answers.... I guess i jusdt need to force myself to take it slow then? how slow should i take it, and when do i know its the right time to take things further?



One of the things that happens I think when getting physical to soon is forming an emotional attachment that may stop you from seeing if there is any other thing in common you have besides just the lust.

Lust will make us think the intense feelings, are something more, but when they wear off, what's left? Two strangers who are over the intense physical, and everything else they should have learned has been passed over. That's why you take it slow, so you can pay attention to each other on a higher level, and not just crash and burn, after the sex has died down.

Originally Posted by musicianguybrum https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_imgs/buttons/viewpost.gif (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/dating-cracking-girl-just-want-some-advise-344207-5.html#post1685995)


One of the things that happens I think when getting physical to soon is forming an emotional attachment that may stop you from seeing if there is any other thing in common you have besides just the lust.

Lust will make us think the intense feelings, are something more, but when they wear off, whats left?? Two strangers who are over the intense physical, and everything else they should have learned has been passed over. Thats why you take it slow, so you can pay attention to each other on a higher level, and not just crash and burn, after the sex has died down.

Some relationships do last because of LUST :p
I know it happens :cool:

Holy sh--.If you two want to have then have sex, what is the big deal here, I donot see the whole point in talking it slow, what is that suppose to achieve.You said you two have been chatting and have a lot of stuff in common, i donot see how this is going to change even after having sex.


Its all in good, go with the flow, have fun you are 2 consenting adults:D