I am a custodial parent Non custodial gets every other weekend three hours on Wednesday. Three weeks in summer and split holidays and ped days if they land on the Friday or Monday of his weekend. I pay daycare. I am finding it hard to support my child on my 27.000 salary before taxes. The father pays 300 a month and is making 45.000.
Is he paying the right amount? He never buys anything for our daughter. Everything he buys is on his time and she cannot bring it home. Its like she lives in two different worlds.
Father recently married woman making well over 60,000 a year salary if not more.

What state do you live in?

California

Has this amount been set by a judge or simple an agreement between you ?

If this is a judgemented amount then you will need to take it back to court for reassessment.

First do an at home assessment of if the child support amount is accurate or close to accurate.

California Child Support Calculator (http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/california/)

If the amount is not accurate, you will need to file a modification request so that child support is redetermined based on the changes of circumstance.

Please bear in mind that this is based purely on HIS income ONLY.
It is completely immaterial how much his partner is paid.

Please bear in mind that this is based purely on HIS income ONLY.
It is completely immaterial how much his partner is paid.

Correction is needed here. The child support is based on both parents income and its done by formula.. the program used is called a dissomaster.

Parents, yes, but not alternate partners as in this case.

Parents, yes, but not alternate partners as in this case.

In California.. although its rare now there are laws on the books that a S/O that is living in the same household can have all or a portion of their income included into the child support calculation.

Remember.. its California we are talking about.. lol

I have asked for his 2006 2007 and 2008 income tax returns. In our last Judgement he asked to have his CS reduced due to unemployment
1 month after our three year custody case. He has been working in his own business for the past two years and has never notified the court.
I was told he makes 45,000 but it could be much more. Our case is a horrible mess.

Remember .. its California we are talking about .. lol
Agreed!! There are very strange court opinions in California.:)

In California .. although its rare now there are laws on the books that a S/O that is living in the same household can have all or a portion of thier income included into the child support calculation.

Remember .. its California we are talking about .. lol

The general rule is that a new mate's income is excluded in calculating child support, but there is a very narrow exception to the rule that would allow consideration of it in unusual cases. It is such a rarity to see this exception that there are no published appellate cases reviewing support in which the exception was ever applied. In fact, commentators will universally relate that they know of no trial court in the entire state that has ever applied the exception to any case. The exception is technically on the books but, as stated, virtually never applied.

Having said that, however, we do use the tax effect of new mate income if the parties file a joint tax return. We have to consider that. And that produces the result of reducing child support where the new mate make more money than the child support obligor and increasing it when the new mate makes significantly less.

I got $472 of child support based up your income of $27,000 per year, his self-employment income of $45,000, a 22% timeshare and $60,000 of new mate income. Tax filing status for you is head of household with 2 dependency exemptions. His filing status would be MFJ with a new spouse, with 2 exemptions.

He should be sharing your childcare costs equally. So, add one-half of those costs to the child support as a mandatory add-on.

(Incidentally, without the $60,000 of new mate income child support is $507)

I got $472 of child support based up your income of $27,000 per year, his self-employment income of $45,000, a 22% timeshare and $60,000 of new mate income. Tax filing status for you is head of household with 2 dependency exemptions. His filing status would be MFJ with a new spouse, with 2 exemptions.

He should be sharing your childcare costs equally. So, add one-half of those costs to the child support as a mandatory add-on.

(Incidentally, without the $60,000 of new mate income child support is $507)

Thanks for the info.. Everytime he takes me to court I pay 2000 in legal fee's.. He needs to pay his correct child support amount because I can't pay my bills anymore cause I am up to my neck in legal debt. He takes me to court at least 3 times a year.

Thanks for the info..Everytime he takes me to court I pay 2000 in legal fee's.. He needs to pay his correct child support amount because I can't pay my bills anymore cause I am up to my neck in legal debt. He takes me to court at least 3 times a year.

Why not just open up a case with DCSS (Department of Child Support Services)? They'll handle all the modification work for free. Either that or ask for attorney fees.

And be sure you get the child support add-on (for the daycare). That's mandatory and he's going to have to split that with you 50-50.

I went to court last Wednesday because of an emergency (permission to travel) the father tells me 48 hours before my flight leaves to Calgary for four days that he won't sign the permission letter because he didn't want our child to miss one day of school after he promised to sign the papers weeks in advance. To make a long story short he had my attorney type up settlement after settlement constantly changing what he agreed to. When we came to a final agreement he refused to sign it only after I did. He demanded to have a judge OK it first.

This guy was on the phone with his Wife, Mother and lawyer the whole day in between.

In the end the Judge said the father signed the letter so she made an interim judgement without reading the motion I paid 2700 for..

The motion clearly showed how controlling and abusive the father is. He knows I have little money, he just wants to drain me so he can try and take our child away from me.
I have full legal custody.



My Lawyer told me in order to move which was always my intent,I would have to have a well thought out plan and I believe I am ready to put it forward. It is in the best interest of my child.

September 2010 I have a job in another state making 3 times my salary now. I will sign a lease
On a home in August 2010 with option to buy two years later.

The position is a stable long term job as a Medical; administrative assistant for the {personal info removed-<>}. It has better working hours, more quality time with my child. Work is Monday to Thursday nine to five and Friday nine to twelve, afternoon off.

More extracurricular facilities in town (Olympic ski programs, skating gymnastics, swimming, and rowing. (Art facilities at the Royal College of music and theatre.)

Walking distance to school, and walking distance to family (cousins of same age for social development)

I will have social and emotional support with brother and family that live nearby.

After school support-shared nanny with brothers family.

I have the ability to live on own (other children grown and independant) Good income to support enhance good economic stability to support my child and myself.

State is in better economic state-more opportunity for job enterprise for child's future.

Schools available in french emersion-full as well as spanish emersion... around the corner is a chartered school (public) for science and mathematics.

Multitude of summer camps in new town for social development, artistic endeavors and wilderness exploration. (Childs aptitude)

Will allow alloted time with father in summer according to court guidelines and jurisdictions

Flights to Father paid by myself aka half paid by father. Court Jurisdiction will be in New home.

I am suppose to give the father 60 days notice. I need a lawyer for this and I cannot put my child's life in my own hands, I don't want to play lawyer.

When should I start proceedings? ( I do not want a long drawn out custody battle) If I cannot move I will not leave my child.








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I don't understand something here. If you have Full Legal custody then wy did you need permission from the father to go on vacation? I don't see any reason that was necessary.

As to moving. If the father has a visitation schedule ordered by a court, then he can stop the move since it would change the schedule.

Does he now exercise the visitation he has? If not, keep a journal showing all the times he missed his time. Take that to the court after a few months, with your plan and ask for a court ruling allowing you to move. I would start this as soon as you have enough evidence of his not using the visitation he's been given.

I don't understand something here. If you have Full Legal custody then wy did you need permission from the father to go on vacation? I don't see any reason that was necessary.

As to moving. If the father has a visitation schedule ordered by a court, then he can stop the move since it would change the schedule.

Does he now exercise the visitation he has? If not, keep a journal showing all the times he missed his time. Take that to the court after a few months, with your plan and ask for a court ruling allowing you to move. I would start this as soon as you have enough evidence of his not using the visitation he's been given.

I needed his permission because I was going over the boarder to Canada where my relatives live. He has EOW with Wednesday afternoons for 3 hours. He has his own business and leaves our daughter in the care of his wife or wife's mother on his weekends
He spends only a few hours a day with her when he should be there for her the whole time.
He has no other children and just got married 8 months ago.

The only way I know is that my daughter tells me if daddy worked or not. He also has his wife take her to karate on his weekend and won't let her go if its my weekend (he won't give me any information about the class or whereabouts) so my daughter misses 2 classes a month... what's the point? That's like putting your child in soccer and he has to miss two games a month out of four.

I want to move August 1st 2010.. The job will no be there.. and I am quite lucky that it is open to me so long in advance.. They know my situation so when do I file?

My child's father refused to let me leave the country to go on Vacation for the FOURTH time this last April. Every judge signed a motion letting me go. He always has some frivolous reason for not signing. The last reason took the cake. I wanted to go to Florida for 4 days over a long professional day weekend with my 6 uyear old daughter and he agreed and said he would put the letter in her school bag. 48 hours before we were scheduled to go he said I would have to change my flight so our daughter would not miss 1 day of school. To change my flight would have cost me 700 in fee's not to mention the 600 I paid for the flights. I had family waiting for me in Florida so I had to call my lawyer and she had to get an emergency hear in place. It cost me 2700.. I was so angry! I have paid thousands of dollars just so I can go on Vacation with my daughter. I have legal custody. My ex is controlling and abusive but the courts do nothing!

If he has no grounds to stop you, if he is simply causing problems, if his actions are frivolous, yes, you can sue him for legal fees BUT you have to prove your allegations.

That's the difficult part.

I don't understand if a Judge signed permission for you to travel why he was able to stop the travel.

Who has custody?

(All thread should be combined)

Do you have sole legal custody or joint? Because it sounds to me like he is within his rights to deny the travel, for whatever petty reason he wants. Granted, he has to make it good... like missing a day of school... but still...

You can sue for the legal fees if you want, but you will lose if he fights you. After all, you didn't HAVE to go to court. You should have gotten everything in writing before the fact.

I live in Canada, If I want to leave to travel to the USA I need the other parents permission regardless who has custody. I hve legal custody. All judges signed a motion so it was free for me to travel but only after I took the Father to court for his refusing to. If this continues I will have to file in court every year so my daughter and I can go to Florida to visit family. I can only see if I sue him for my legal fee's he would stop this controlling and abusive behaviour.

I am not terribly familiar with Canadian Law but why can't whatever Order is now in place be changed to allow you to travel X times a year, out of the Country?

I see that in divorces in the US - you can take the child out of the country for X days a year.

Possible?

I live in Canada, If I want to leave to travel to the USA I need the other parents permission regardless who has custody. I hve legal custody. All judges signed a motion so it was free for me to travel but only after I took the Father to court for his refusing to. If this continues I will have to file in court each and every year so my daughter and I can go to Florida to visit family. I can only see if I sue him for my legal fee's he would stop this controlling and abusive behaviour.

If your travel violates his visitation, its his right to block the travel. You going to court every time is the poor behavior.

I never block his weekend, all travel is on my week with her. He has her EOW and has her three non consecutive weeks in the summer that I never infringe on..

I don't mean to sound rude, but if he is arguing that you shouldn't take her out of school for vacation, I have to agree with him. Its not being petty, its being a good parent.

Well then tell me this, if he was a good parent would he buy a small lawn chair and a bug keeper for his daughter to play with in Florida and agree to the trip only to go back on his word 48 hours before the trip?. What was I suppose to tell my daughter.. Daddy changed his mind?. It's a pattern he does every year...

2700 is a lot of money to pay out when this "good parent" quit his job the moment he lost any kind of custody of his daughter and pays next to nothing now.

Sorry to sound offensive but 1 day of school for a child in grade one is so petty..

Apparently the father doesn't think it's petty.

And what he does/has/spends money on is not part of the custody/travel question.

That's his business. If child support is unfair, then appeal the Order.

I just reread everything and here is my opinion:

Every time you don't get what you want, you take him to court to force the issue then complain about your legal fees.

Try this: work with him instead of against him. Instead of running to court every time you want something, work out a lawyer free compromise. If you cannot afford to live on what you make, maybe taking international trips every year isn't the best plan, especially because they cause static in a relationship that is going to last at least 10 more years.

I would love to work out something with this man but he is inflexible, we went through 2 psychological expertises and both said he was controlling and refuses to see my reality.
We went through a three year custody battle and I maintained legal custody.

I would love to work out something with this man but he is inflexible, we went through 2 psychological expertises and both said he was controlling and refuses to see my reality.
We went through a three year custody battle and I maintained legal custody.

But here is the bottom line: he is the child's father and his opinion on her upbringing and activities are as valid as yours are.

Does it suck? Sure... but it could be a lot worse too.

True... Thanks for your input you have been very helpful