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_LostLover_
Apr 20, 2009, 12:28 PM
Well, my boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years...
Now his father will not let us see or even speak 2 each other!
He is three years older than I am and about to turn 18...
His father is telling people that we are all over each other in public!
And making other lies like that! My boyfriends mother and my mother
Have wentover to is house to try and speak with him about leting us see each other again.
It kills me...
Cuzz we have been together this long and haven't seen each other in over a month...
I have no clue what we did wrong!
His father says that when he truns 18 he will atomaticly become a sexual peditor...
He has never listen to his dad or any of his dads friends...
He tells me he still wants to be with me...
Even his friends have abanded him because they dotn want him to be with me...
Now him and his dad are always fighting and yelling at each other...
His father keeps telling him to get the hell out!
What should I do?
Should I wait until he is 18
Or should I leave him?
I don't know cuzz I really love him...

I wish
Apr 20, 2009, 01:51 PM
If he's almost 18 and 3 years older, does that make you 14 or 15?

Maybe it's better to stay apart from each other for a while to let things cool down first. I know it's been a month, but if you really care about each other, it's not that long.

Being together for 5 years from between 13-18 and being together for 5 years between 18-23 makes a huge difference in the level of seriousness in your relationship. There are some strict parents who do not take teen relationships seriously. As is your case right now. So, you have to accept the way his dad is.

So here's a suggestion, maybe you guys should keep your relationship a secret for now. You guys are still really young, there's no reason to get parents involved. Wait until you guys are much older before talking to your parents about each other. That way, you guys would be much older and if you're still together by then, it will mean that you are very serious as a couple. And you will be stronger as a couple and you won't get as affected by what his father says.

mudweiser
Apr 20, 2009, 01:58 PM
If he's almost 18 and 3 years older, does that make you 14 or 15?

Maybe it's better to stay apart from each other for a while to let things cool down first. I know it's been a month, but if you really care about each other, it's not that long.

Just a suggestion, but maybe you guys should keep your relationship a secret for now. You guys are still really young, there's no reason to get parents involved. Wait until you guys are both at least 18 before talking to your parents about each other.

Telling a minor to keep a have a secret relationship is wrong. I know that you believe age has no limit but parents make the limits for the minors- and it's for a reason. She should wait until she is 18 and NOT have a secret relationship.

Sarah

roxypox
Apr 20, 2009, 02:11 PM
His dad might actually come from a good place here, even if it seems unreasonable. If he is about to turn 18 and you are 3 years younger, it actually is true that if you have sexual relations he will be considered a sexual preditor... but if you only date (no sexual relations) it is not so.

But both your mother and his mother thinks its okay for you to keep seeing each other? Have the two of you talked it out with your moms? Discussed legal issues etc?

As for secret relationship, honestly, seeing as you are a minor... your parents do make the rules ultimatly... at your age parents are the law. Especially seeing as there might be legal imprecations for your boyf, if the two of you keep seeing each other. I would check this out if I were you!

I wish
Apr 20, 2009, 02:35 PM
I think we are exaggerating the age of adult and age of minority too much. If a couple was 16 and 18 or 17 and 18 we wouldn't make such a big deal out of their age. We're talking about 15 and 18 cause it's supposedly 3 years.

I'm not sure why people are so quick to tell their parents about their relationships. Even when I was 22 and my girlfriend was 19, I waited at least 6 months before telling my parents about my relationship. Even at that, I had to tell my parents because it was my university graduation and I wasn't going to ask my girlfriend to sneak in the back to watch. Otherwise, we would have waited another year at least before telling our parents. We waited even longer before telling her parents.

There's just no reason to get parents involved unless you have a serious relationship. Think about it from a parent's perspective. The only reason my kid wants to share his or her significant other with me is because they are serious. I'm giving this advice because the guy's dad is very strict.

If his parents were more open, then sure, tell the whole world that you're dating.

Otherwise, the only other choice is to break up. Who are we to tell them to break up just because one of the four parents involved don't approve?