The girl I'm dating now is the girl of my dreams. About five years ago I ditched her because I thought I was to good for her. I was sixteen I was stupid at that age. Well about five years later I come to my sense and realized that I messed up and wanted to tell why I did what I did five years ago.Well she had a boyfriend when we first started talking again and we talked all the time I mean everything we did we talked whether it was taking a shower or eating we were always on the phone. That's what made us. I spilled my guts to her and worked really hard to show her and to tell her how much I wanted to be with her and how I loved her because my feelings are crazy for her. Well finally she says yes I'm excited, well it started really good and this is the first month, well it started really good then it got sour. She likes to party and so do I but she does when she can when she's off work or school... well I took her to meet my friends and she liked them and they accepted her, well she started drinking and went out side with this other girl and my dudes, the girl tells her to pitch my dudes 's just for fun. Well my dude came and told me and I was mad, and all she could say that it was only a joke but she wasn't going to tell me cause she knew it would make me mad. Then finally after two months I was able to make plans to come and see her and be with her due to that we live in different states but only like 30 minutes apart, we hung out about a 8 days out of this month and she tells me that she spends all her time with me and that she misses her friends. Ever since I been upset with it because she sees them through the week. Well she wanted to go to the club and I didn't like that because I don't think going to the club is healthy for a relationship. I asked her who she's going with she said her friends, well I asked her if they told her anything and she said that they told her that since she's been dating me that its all been about me so I kind of bad mouthed her friends pretty badly and she didn't like it. Well she's been going to club and last night she told me she wasn't going to get drunk then go to the club so I asked her if she got drunk and she said she didn't have to answer to me and I asked her if she was dancing with guys she said the same thing so I get pissed and we start arguing for like 2 weeks because she thinks that some of the things she does don't hurt and she don't care what I have to say or anything like she's been to the club this whole weekend and now she wants to go to a chippendal show at a club. I got mad, I might have been overreacting but I'm not sure what I should do? Then She says she loves me and that wants to be with me but every time I try to fix it and ask her a question about anything that she done or in general she tells me I don't have to answer to you... Her step moms been around her and she said that I got her and that she does love me because she don't use that word at all unless she means it.. I'm confused and need help..

That's a debatable

Try to remember this, she is her own person, and you don't try to change the one you love, do you?

She makes her own choices, and so maybe you should too. If it bothers you and she doesn't care, then you maybe wise to ask yourself, why am I with some one who I don't get along with that well? Yes we do all have our arguments, but you seem to be arguing more than loving. Key word "Seem".

You seem old school in that you didn't find her little joke with your buddy to be funny. She wasn't going to tell you about it because she knew it would bother you, so do you want to be with some one who keeps you always at arms length? Or do you want to be with some one more compationate?

She seems to be more free and relaxed, especailly with her little joke on your buddy. She doesn't feel she should have to tell you what she is up to. Fiar enough. But you don't like that.

You have to decide what do you want.

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."- Sunscreen song.

Same question: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/girlfriend-side-her-friends-343567.html

Keep your question in one thread so that you can get better responses.

Like I said, you have to trust her. If you don't trust her, then you shouldn't be together.

She has to be her own person and if you want to change her, then she's not the girl that you actually want to be with.

You popped back into her life ,saying you are a changed guy and it would appear in the 5 yr.span that she has changed as well.

You do not seem to be on the same page.

You seem to be a little controlling and that just pushes people away.Clearly,she is not going to answer to you and your questioning about what she is doing.

If you can't trust her and she isn't willing to change ,maybe you need to rethink the relationship.

You both seem to want different things from this relationship.You need to talk about what your expectations are and have a realistic plan of compromise that you can agree on.

1) Controlling
2) No Breathing room
3) Trust
4) Communication
5) Living in different States
6) You getting mad at everything.
7) No relationship here, your just dating. Act like your dating.


I honestly think that instead of looking in the past of what you did 5 years ago. Instead of dwelling on a fantasy that you have for this girl that is not true. You need to look forward to the future. You need to move on truly and grow as a person. Do not look back. When in the future you meet a new special one. Take your time. Chill and relax. Become friends first and build a strong foundation.

Joe