well I saw my ex girlfriend earlier today hoping to find a conclusion of the relationship weather it be to try it again and work through the problems or stay apart. It's been an uphill struggle since I met this girl, but to help explain my situation and this girl ill try to explain my experiences with her.
I am 18 years old I'm pretty good looking and I guess u could call me the sensitive type. She is 2 years younger than me and is adorable. Our age alone is a difficult one. I met her about 3 years ago in school study hall, it was an odd feeling but right as I saw her I knew that there was something different about her. And I was already struck by her. We ended up hanging out after I inched my way into her and her friends circle. They were a young and different group than what I was used to. At the time I was into the I guess rebel stage if it needs a name and was doing dumb and she was just beginning hers. As time went on she told be she loved me after 3 weeks of dating, I laughed and said no, u don't love me save that word until you do. 3 months later I was in love and she was too. Everything was great and shortly after admitting our love we had sex. We were both virgins and I'm and old fashion kind of guy I sapose so this meant a lot to me. I wouldn't have done that if we didn't love each other.

time went by and I started to grow up a bit and I stopped the partying as much because it was becoming self destructive. Sadly as I wanted to stop she wanted to keep going faster. This I guess was the start of our problems... she started doing more dumb things and ditching me to go chill with her friends to get trashed. This was our first break up. Shortly after we broke up we were back together and normal.

we went strong until my buddy wanted me to go to jersey with him for a week vacation. I went with him and his sister and his sisters 2 or 3 friends I forget. But for some reason she didn't trust me I guess and she went back and was partying and sleeping where ever she fell. She and I talked while I was in jersey and we broke up.

when I got back a painful break up started. I became very depressed and let it take me under. I let this pain remind me of all the other pains I had in my abnormally experienced life. After 2 weeks went by she started seeing a kid that we used to hang out with together and I was heart broken. At this time we had been together for about a year or so, so for 2 weeks to go out with another kid was horrible. Anyway ended up in them having sex while she was drunk. Which changed my whole perception of her and our love, I was in a boat with 1 other kid when she was the only other person I gave the gift of love to. Terrible. He told every one he could apparently and she saw she ed up. She came back and after a lot of crying and time we got back together. But on the condition that she got her together and stopped with the destructive partying especially because her age.

again later on I found out the entire time we were back together she had been going out staying at random houses and getting trashed and lying to me about it. We broke up again and got back together because I felt like I needed her to be happy. It happened again once we got back together and I blame myself for this very much.

well this last time we got back together I often saw myself wondering if it was right. I always treated her like she was royalty and wanted her to be happy all the time. I did all anyone could ever ask for. She was always very easy to read. I knew things weren't the way they should be. She was back to the partying. I didn't want to say anything because I knew I'd have to go through another break up which I couldn't deal with again. We were always so passionate with each other and always showed our love, when we were together we were insepperable. She was very close to my family and even started working with my mother... but last valentines day I set up a nice evening. I made her dinner, set up candles everywhere had a fire and smores, roses, rosepeddled bath, and some other . She loved it so much she cried. The next weekend my friends sister called and said I was cheated on.she kissed another guy that she'd been partying with while lying to me about it with her friends. My heart dropped as I knew it was true. I knew something was wrong when we talked on the phone by her tone so I confronted her and was right. We separated again. About 2-3 months have gone by and we see each other about once or twice a week. I told her I forgave her and things could be worked out because I love her and that's all that should matter?

well when we see each other she and I cry when we talk about us and she says how sorry she is and that she loves me. We always end up cuddling and kissing each other. We had sex about a week ago after we took a shower. :( it was confusing... a part of me knows that I should just move on but another feels like love should be an unbroken bond especially because she was many of my firsts. So I said if we work things out and both make an effort we can try to get it to work. But now she is saying that she thinks that she is "content" being single. I'm sent countless mixed messages and don't know what to do. I literally feel like I'm being kicked in the head after I think about it. She always tells me how she is so dumb and I was perfect. And how she won't ever find anything better than me but she doesn't want to get back together. She beats herself up for all the ty stuff she's done and continues to tease me. It would be easy to stay separated if I hated her. But we both still are in passionate love and she still says she wants to be with me and then turns around and says something different. I need to know if this love is worth working on after all this or if I should abandon my love and try to move on? I don't know what's the best for me but I do know our love is still very real and it will be hard to let her go.

I apologize about the length I just wanted you to know my situation to give good advice.
thank you for your time and concern -christian

Hey dude, recently my ex broke up with me and trust me it was the hardest thing for me to do and until this day I have been in no contact with her. At first it was hard but then I started to realize that maybe its for the best because she was changing me to someone that I wasn't. I fought for her for a while and than I stopped.

Basically to the point, sometimes you don't really know if its for the best or not until you're away. I think since she is you're first love it is hard to let go but you have to do what is best for you. Personally I can't settle with someone who is confused about their feelings for me, and I would rather be with someone who knows for sure how they feel about me.

You've did your part in trying to make it work but she wasn't willing. It takes 2 to make a relationship work so there is no point in fighting for her anymore, trust me I did everything in the book and I just ended up with an even bigger heart broken. Everyone on here told me the same thing I'm telling now and at first I wanted to know for sure by myself and turns out they were just trying to save pain.

How do you get her back? You don't. If she loves you she will know where to find you. You need to treat yourself better dude and you don't deserve the pain. Try to regain self respect. Don't chase after her, she will just run. Instead try to heal and become and better person. There is always something else out there for you that might be better. Hoped this kind of helped.

- None12345

None12345
Thank you for that answer, a lot of what you said had been going through my head already and was weighing heavy in my mind. I don't want to be with some one that doesn't want me back. And I don't want to do it alone. You actually answered a lot of my questions and it will help a lot. Now all I can do is wait for time to do it's thing I guess. That will suck but I got no choice

Again thank you very much you helped more than you think

Your biggest problem is not acknowledging that your both growing, and learning from your experiences, and have a lot more to do.

You had your chance, and now she has hers, and is taking it. That's normal given your youth, but it also causes the conflicts between you.

Accept she is young and growing, and leave her alone to grow on her own without you.

You're an adult, seeking your path, and she is a youngster, enjoying her youth. Neither of you have enough real love to work together, nor is she willing.

That's why you must let go, and give you both a chance to keep growing.