PDA

View Full Version : Is it a good idea?


berta22
Apr 18, 2009, 04:17 PM
:p
I am 15 years old and want to get married. I have been with this guy for almost 3 years. I can't stand one moment without him. My parents said it's a BIG step but it's the only way they will let me go with him. He is 19 years old. Should I marry him?

Alty
Apr 18, 2009, 04:22 PM
Where do you live? In most countries it's not legal for a 15 year old to get married, and there's a good reason for that.

You're not an adult, you're not mature enough to get married and make a marriage work. You're not even old enough to get a job in most places, and also, a lot of places would consider sex between you and your boyfriend statutory rape.

If you love him then there's no harm in waiting until you're older. Why the rush? Slow down, grow up first, finish school, live, then, if you're still in love in 6 - 7 years, you can think about getting married.

Good luck.

berta22
Apr 18, 2009, 04:25 PM
:cool:
I am 15 years and wants to marry a guy who's 19. We have been together for almost 3 years. We are in love and I know this because no other guy atracts me I mean nobody!
Is it true that most underage-teens that get married don't last? Am I doing the right thing?

artlady
Apr 18, 2009, 04:31 PM
You are far too young to be thinking about such things as marriage,babies,house payment,jobs,bills and more bills.

You are a kid one time,once its gone you can't get it back.

Enjoy being a kid and wait to have all the crap that goes along with being an adult.

Think about it. Enjoy what you have now.Look at what your parents have to do in life and see if you want to be in their shoes.

Silverfoxkit
Apr 18, 2009, 04:35 PM
Yes, many teen marriages don't last but this does not necessarily mean that if you decide to get married later it will not. I am not agreeing that you should get married yet though. You are young and life and you as a person will change dramatically over the next few years. If you and your boyfriend are truly meant to be then a few years from now once you are both adults then you will still be together. Do not rush into marriage.

berta22
Apr 18, 2009, 04:46 PM
Mexico... here the legal age with your parents signature is 14 for girls.
I know this is what I want... I don't like living the way I do.
I am still going to go to school.. and plan on not getting pregnant until I get DONE with college.

Alty
Apr 18, 2009, 04:50 PM
mexico...here the legal age with your parents signature is 14 for girls.
I know this is what I want....I dont like living the way I do.
I am still going to go to school..and plan on not getting pregnant until I get DONE with college.

Well, Mexico is certainly lenient.

We can't stop you, but, ready or not, you aren't old enough. Heck, you aren't even old enough to know if you're ready or not.

You're a child, there's no way that you're ready for what marriage entails. This isn't like playing house or playing with dolls, this is real, and it isn't easy, even if you're an adult.

There's a reason why we give the advice we do, it's based on experience. If you're as wise as you claim to be, then listen to other words of wisdom.

You asked if we thought it was a good idea. Why? If you're so ready then you shouldn't be having any doubts, but obviously you are. You may want to ask yourself why, before it's too late and you end up regretting this decsion forever.

There are some things you shouldn't have to learn the hard way. This is one of them. Really!

Fr_Chuck
Apr 18, 2009, 04:50 PM
If as you say you are really in love, then it will still be in love in 3 years after you finish high school.

What type of job does he have, does he support hisself

jandtspencer
Apr 18, 2009, 04:54 PM
Marriage is not all fun and games. I think you should wait a few years so you will be mentally equipped to deal with the "tough" times and less likely to divorce so quickly. Doesn't mean you can't continue to see this guy - if your parents are aware and approve. Finish school and decide what you want to do in life before you have the added responsiblility of someone else as well.

berta22
Apr 18, 2009, 04:54 PM
Well it is just that my parents told me to ask other people what they thought about it.
Do you know what you need in order to marry in mexico.. not through church though just papers.

berta22
Apr 18, 2009, 04:57 PM
Yess he supports himself and is going to college to be a doctor.
And if I marry him I myself is going to continue going to school... and not plan on havong kids until DONe with college.

Silverfoxkit
Apr 18, 2009, 04:59 PM
Why have you asked this on multiple boards? Are you hoping that someone is going to come in and say that it is a good idea? I don't want to sound harsh but the truth may not be what you want to hear. Marriage isn't just honeymoons and cuddles under the stars. It takes a lot of work. As hard is at may seem for you to imagine at your age everything changes once you make those vows. You are trying to grow up too fast. You only get 18 years to be a teenager, you have to spend the other 50+ as a responsible adult. Don't be so quick to throw it away.

artlady
Apr 18, 2009, 05:28 PM
well it is just that my parents told me to ask other people what they thought about it.
do you know what you need in order to marry in mexico..not through church though just papers.

That's because your parents want you to know that they are not the only ones who know this is a bad decision.
You will not find anyone here with any life experience who will tell you this is cool.

Some teenagers maybe but they have no experience and know nothing about real life.

I can give you so many reasons getting married at your age is bad idea.

My question to you is why is this something you want to do and how to you plan on being a single mother (chances are you will become one) and go to school and be able to pay bills,work,take care of your husband?

There is time for what you want,wait until you are older or you will most likely regret it.

Listen to your parents! It was cool of them to ask this question here.
Enjoy what you have now and don't hurry to grow up,it happens fast enough ;)

ScottGem
Apr 18, 2009, 05:32 PM
Going to college, especially to become a doctor, is hard work. You both need to concentrate more on preparing yourself for life rather then follow some romanticized version of married life.

By the way I've merged your threads, please don't ask the same question in multiple places.

liz28
Apr 18, 2009, 08:05 PM
If you have to ask people should you marry him then you shouldn't.

If you know for an guarantee that your going be together forever than why not wait to wait until your of legal age to wed without needing your parent permission? Don't you think that is in your best interest?

talaniman
Apr 19, 2009, 07:48 AM
See how you feel about this guy when your older, because life has a way of changing our minds once we are actually living in it, on our own. Your parents are right, don't just jump into something as big and important as marriage, without a lot of thought. You have grown much, and will grow even more. Will your feelings change? Wait and see. That's not asking for much when you consider a lifetime with someone.

nitelight198073
Apr 19, 2009, 08:18 AM
Girl I got married the first time at 23that was too early in my eyes it did not work out for me please wait... if you are in love with wach other it can wait

XOXOlove
Apr 19, 2009, 08:27 AM
I'm in high school and some of the teens I know have gotten married. Not even a single one worked out. I can't even name one! You will be better off waiting until you are older. I am not saying that your marriage won't work out. It's just that there is a chance that it might not because as you get older you change. I know I am different from how I was when I was 15.

shazamataz
Apr 19, 2009, 09:28 AM
I am 23, been living with my partner for 3 years and we are no where near ready to be married. I have no doubt we will be together for a very long time but marriage is a massive commitment, it takes time and energy.

Do you live with your boyfriend at the moment?
Living with someone and dating them are 2 completely different things!

Do you know how much a house costs?
Rent money?
Power bills?
Groceries?
Car loans?
Credit cards?

We spend over $500 a week just on living, no luxuries.

You can't be married and living with your parents.