I was sexually, emotionally and physically abused a couple of years back... by a family member
I never talked about it... I tried writing, crying, screaming just to let the anger out... but now all I think about is ending this... I'm suffering a lot
I'm constantly feeling angry, weak and sometimes I can't even get out of bed... I've been in denial for a whole year

I can't seek professional help... I can't talk about it... and it kills me that I have to act as if nothing has ever happened and just smile it off.

Please don't committ suicide :/

That's really sad I'm so so so sorry but just don't kill yourself that's horrible, I just had a friend committ suicide yesterday and it was horrible, everyone is so hurt, I'm sure a lot a lot of people love you and if you do that they would feel destroyed and devastated :(

So please reconsider, suicide is not the answer!

PLEASE DON'T DO IT!

Here are some suicide hotline numbers:

Call 1-800-273-8255 : This number is for BOTH Canada and USA

United Kingdom : 08457 90 90 90

Ireland: 1850 60 90 90

It is confidential, not recorded and THEY will help you, they will NOT judge you!

Please be safe. Keep us posted I want to know how you are doing.

Sarah

Of course you can get professional help. Why do you feel you can not.

Why not bring it out in the open, press charges against them, even if you don't win you may end up saving another family member from the same thing.

Warn everyone he knows about it,

Make it a mission I life to fight back

I was sexually, emotionally and physically abused a couple of years back... by a family member
I never talked about it... I tried writing, crying, screaming just to let the anger out... but now all I thikn about is ending this... I'm suffering a lot
I'm constantly feeling angry, weak and sometimes I can't even get out of bed... I've been in denial for a whole year

I can't seek professional help... I can't talk about it... and it kills me that I have to act as if nothing has ever happened and just smile it off.

You said that you can not seek professional help... and that you can't talk about it... Well look what you have done you have taken maybe the first step, you reached out to someone on this web site that you don't even know, and you did talk about it for a little bit. So maybe that is the answer for you, find someone on here that you can talk to, someone that you can tell all of the details to, someone that you can trust, someone that will listen and care about you. But this is also someone that you will never have to meet, and when you don't need them anymore you can just quit talking to them.
There are many on here that would love to help you, some that have been through the same thing or something similar, maybe they are working themselves through it and they need your help to get them over the hurt. So don't do something that you will be sorry of, you never know how many people you will be hurting.

Don't Don't Don't COMMIT SUICIDE!! Think of all the people who you love and all the people who love you... what would they think? When I was in freshmen year, all I could think about was suicide, but when I talked to my mom about what I was feeling and all she said to me was, "If you commit suicide, you wont be in a better place, because suicide is just a one way ticket to HELL because the worst thing you can do is leave the people you love and the people who love you in that way."

You got to talk to someone. If you start to cry, the person who you are talking to won't care about the tears, he/she will only care about keeping you ALIVE. You don't know how many hearts will be crushed. Death is a very important thing to reconsider in this situation...

Listen please listen to all of these wonderful people here that are so concerned and would do anything to help you. So please listen because we care. Find someone can talk to it doesn't have to mom or dad but perferably and adult or older bro or sis, and confide in them. You have to be free of all this pain sweet heart and the only way to do it is to talk to someone you trust. This is bigger then you can handle you need to talk to someone that has dealt with this issue before.
No one needs to know its just you is were everyone's conceren. So please talk to someone. Let those feelings go don't let them hold you hostage you probably felt that way for awhile now. Time for some freedom... My prayers and thoughts are with you.. please write back and let us know how your doing...

Yes I know suicide isn't the answer... it's just that sometimes I'm too weak to handle it... and I feel like everything is falling apart
That ill never be able to be myself again

Thanks for the hotlines but they won't do any good and I can't get any professional help because I live in Egypt and it's not okay to talk about such stuff here...

"find someone on here that you can talk to, someone that you can tell all of the details to, someone that you can trust, someone that will listen and care about you. But this is also someone that you will never have to meet, and when you don't need them anymore you can just quit talking to them"
Is that possible?

I'm doing a bit better... but I still get weak moments...

Thank you all reading this made me feel much better...

Egypt Suicide Hotlines
_____

Befrienders Cairo
61 Al Zahara St
Jeddah St
Mohyaldeen, Muhandesen
CAIRO
Hotline: 762 1602/3
Hotline: 762 2381
Website: befrienderscairo.com
E-mail Helpline: [email protected]

OR

Egypt~
7621602

Sarah

"find someone on here that you can talk to, someone that you can tell all of the details to, someone that you can trust, someone that will listen and care about you. But this is also someone that you will never have to meet, and when you don't need them anymore you can just quit talking to them"
is that possible?

I'm doing a bit better... but I still get weak moments...

thank you all reading this made me feel much better...

I'm here for you if you need to talk!

Sarah

Me too! I'm here! *raising hand*

I think Wondergirl is here to talk... but I'm not sure... Any way, you HAVE TO TALK 2 Ssomeboody, try wondergirl, she seems willing.

I think Wondergirl is here to talk... but I'm not sure... Any way, you HAVE TO TALK 2 Ssomeboody, try wondergirl, she seems willing.

Hey. Me too!

Anonymous, AMHD is always here for support.

Sarah

Ah yeah, can't forget Mudwieser♥

Please please don't commit suicide. My son just did in dec 08.

I was abused all my life by my step father and I regret not turning him in. It wasn't until he did it to my 6yr old daughter that I did turn him in. Tell someone believe me they will help you, and this will all be over with someday. I almost killed myself way back when but you know what, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation, and I'm glad to be here today and you can get on with your life after sexual abuse but you can't get over suicide. Please think about what I said.

You have at least started talking about it and I am very sorry to hear what you went through, I won't make light of that, but by staying this way you are only giving this person the power over you and from just what you wrote I hear a strong person within this note. You have it in you... you started with writing this note. You want to live and you want to overcome this if not you would not have written this to ask for some help. It will get better if you want it too... it really is just thinking differently and giving the power back to you and not letting this other person take your life away because that is what you are letting and you deserve more than that.

It's OK don't do my parents are stopping me from seeing this guy I really like and I always day dream of killing myself. They are sending him to jail because he is over the age and I'm not and we had sex. I waz also milested by one of my uncles and the only one who knows is my sister and my cousins but they won't say any thing so lots of people have problems at home but nothing is worth dying over. So don't hurt yourself please. ♥ It's ok☺

gghhyhgh

If u can stand out make a statement and put him away for what he did

Please listen to what everyone has to say. Use this as a chance to talk about it and get your strength up. Come out with it. How is it fair that you suffer while this abuse is maybe happening to someone else you love and you don't even know it. I can bet if you come out with it you won't be alone. Abusers don't abuse just one. Just one voice needs to be heard and I think your ready since you took the step to come here. Be that voice for the others and stand tall.

As I just joined this website I came on her wanting to perhaps you know help someone in a way, small or big. This is what brought me to you. I feel utterly sad that a family member would violate you in any way at all. I can't say I know how you feel cause I never found myself in that position. Saying that, I would wish that you would be able to refrain from harming yourself. You might feel that you brought it upon yourself, but no matter what, you did not. Suicide, certaintly is not the answer, you may feel like you can't talk to anyone but even coming on here and letting out your feelings is some sort of a step isn't it? :) I'd love for you to be able to move on and promise everyone here that you'll look for help, professionally or even a close friend. I hope that you can get through this as no matter what there is at least five people out there that love you truly, even if they don't tell you all the time. ;)

I was sexually, emotionally and physically abused a couple of years back... by a family member
I never talked about it... I tried writing, crying, screaming just to let the anger out... but now all I thikn about is ending this... I'm suffering a lot
I'm constantly feeling angry, weak and sometimes I can't even get out of bed... I've been in denial for a whole year

I can't seek professional help... I can't talk about it... and it kills me that I have to act as if nothing has ever happened and just smile it off.

Don't get me wrong about nay of this but I was in a situation were I was going to commit suicide and this stopped me.
Everything that happens of course hurt you and affects your life 24/7 but as much as it hurts taking your life isn't the naswer. Im not a Very religious person but if you believe in god taking your life is a sin that will send you to hell than you'll live a enternity dealing with things you are now. But that's beside the point this is what I was told.
Yes you may commit suicide and people will cry and be sad but in the end they will get over it and move on with there lives. All you will be is just another person removed from history. Take all that pain and live your life have children of your own and spoil them so and maybe that will bring happiness. It's the only that will for me

I'm not for or against suicide, it's a very personal thing and even though others believe that carrying on in the most dilapadted and destroyed condition is better than death I don't see things this way. I hate the pain you feel, as I hate my own pain. Even more I hate that your reason for seeking death is because of another's actions. I deal with my own pain by inflicking it on others, (not through abuse) in creative ways. If you do decied to go, be considerate of others. People here will miss you. It isn't right to hurt them by not being there, also someone has to find your remains. That grusome decovery will scar another human being for life. Even if its rescue personal. They never get over it. Suicide just isn't practical. Finding a way of living can be. Imprace pain and that burns through you and find oncemore the searing beauty that surrounds you in the world. It's there you have just forgotten how to see it.
Best of luck

I have tried to kill myself 4 times in this life and I realized, it takes a lot more guts to life this life as to kill myself and you have a lot of guts, more than I had, please do me a favor, file charges against the SOB, that person needs to be punished, please go to the police and yes please tell your family about it, you will be able to feel better about yourself after a while, I know you will never forget what happen to you, but time does heels wounds, no matter how long it takes, you will be able to smile again, you may believe me.

Dude don't do it.

Its not reasable.

Why is when you talk about suicide they always say think of the people that love you? Or the people that you would leave behind? The truth is if they really new you or loved you they would no that you are hurting. But no one does. How do I no this because I wish I was not born. I go to bed praying please don't wake up its funny as I don't believe in god but I pray for death