Basically me and my now ex girlfriend went out for 6 months, and one time after arguing with her sister and mum, we broke up for no apparent reason, afterwards she would ring and text me, and say that I deserved better etc.

After she spoke to her friends they told her that she was the happist she's ever been with me, and her mum thought she may have depression so we decided to give it another shot, we met up had a chat everything was fine, carrying on texting like nothing happened, made it official we were back together

I seen her last Wednesday she cooked me food over at hers and we just did the usual cuddling and whatever else and I left she text me and said she was glad I enjoyed the food, she enjoyed making it and she was happy that we were happy again,

She then text me the following day saying did you know, you have the best cwtches ( cuddles) and I asked her why? And she said " I dunno i just know im safe its so comfy and I love sleeping with you. what we doing this weekend? "

So as she has been haviing a lot of arguments with her mum and sister lately I decided it would be a good idea to take her away from it all and take her to stay in my student house in cardiff, which she got very excited about, and then she text me to say we'd been together six months and I text back saying quick run away,

To which she replied " no running nowhere except cardiff with me xxxx"

She then text me the following day making sure I wanted to go to cardiff and didn't think I had to and she said it will be fun, and she also said " id love to go up for the weekend, come bk sunday and relax in mine monday"

Later that night she went to see her friend who had recently had a baby after a while they decided to leave the baby with her mum so they could have a drink and a catch up, at first she didn't know if she'd be able to make it as she wouldn't have had a lift so to make it easier for her I offered to give her a lift, I text her throughout, asked if she was enjoying to which she replied " yeah can't wait to see you"

Seeing as we just got back I text her asking does she think she's done the right thing and she said yeah of course why?" and i replied and said how do you know, and she said " because I love you don't you?" to which i replied of course i do

So time went by she text me and asked me to pick her up so i went there to pick her up, i dropped her off she text saying " I'm happy love you" and then she said " your fit can't wait to see u, weird thought my sex drive had hone but oomph your hot" asked why it had gone and she said " worrying stress with leah, upset because I was being mean to you"

So then it came to friday the day we were going to Cardiff she woke up text me and we had normal pointless texts then we planned to go to tesco to get food for the weekend, then i went and got her we were getting food then all of a sudden she said I dont know if I want to go now, so I said its ok if she doesnt wanna go we dont have to, then we got the car and she said she didnt wanna be with me anymore.

So I dropped her home and left it at that, and then recieved a text which said " I'm sorry but its easier for us both if we don't talk for a while sorry" which i left then i got another text which said " really sorry I heart uo, you don't deserve it your worth a million of me, I know you;ll be happy and I've made the right decision, take care"

So i just left it at that then I was over my friends and she text me asking if I was okay, and then I had another texting saying " I know getting over me is getting on with it but going to town and getting slaughtered isn't really the idea" but i said i wasnt even in town and her friend made a mistake

Then she phoned me crying saying that nobody will go out for her birthday I sat down talked to her and calmed her down, and then in the morning I had a text which said " thans for talking to me last night, you didn't have to give me the time of day", which i said was fine, she then rung me spoke to me as if nothing had happened, but ended the conversation by saying ive got to go now, got to keep myself busy.

She later that day text me pointless texts about spraying hairspray all over herself, she then phoned me to see if I was going out in the night which I wasnt and I heard nothing till she text me saying im not going out tomorrow babe.

Then she text saying " dontwanna I'm going to go out tonight instead even though I don't feel like it" so I asked why? which the reply was " get out the house I feel like .

She then text me later on in the day asking if I was OK, which I replied to saying I was ok-ish, you? Which she said " not really u sound good told you youd be happy", and I said Ive had enough of putting on a brave face Im not OK I miss you like crazy and she said that's normal I do too and then she told me she had to make her mum hide her phone so she didn't text me. Which I didn't reply too and got the same text again

She then rung me worrying because her friend hadn't phoned her about going out and she thought she was going to be left out but I said don't worry she'll contact you and it'll be fine, low and behold her friend contacted her and she text me saying " kirst did txt me i punched myself in the face on your behalf for worrying speak to you soon"

So I just left it made no contact and then when she was out I had a texting saying " miss you" so I replied and said miss you too how's your night? To which she replied OK, then she asked what was I doing and then she said miss you again, then she asked me to come see her later which I agreed too, and she was telling me if she's slow texting back its because there's no signal which I already knew.

Then I had been on msn earlier on and spoke to her sister and her sister must have text her and told her to which I had a text saying msn? And then she said I was on msn when I hadn't but had been earlier which I had explained but didn't see the big deal as she wasn't my girlfriend

She text me to say she was going home so I text her and said do you still want me to see you, so she said for me to pick her up from her mates house which is like 5 mintues away from hers, So I got there picked her up and everything was fine we were chatting it was all normal and she told me some guy we know came onto her and asked wheres your boyfriend and she said he's not out tonight, which is a weird respone if you ask me, but we carried on talking and I said I don't know what's going on, and she said what? I said as in us, and she said I just want to be friends, and you could see her eyes filling up but I said you say you miss me and whatever and she said I do, then I dropped her off and hugged her but it wasn't a normal friendly hug she ran her hands all over my back as if we were still together, she then got upset and went.

Sorry if this is long winded but needed to get it all across, I just don't know what to do, I have no real reason why we finished, and if she texts do I text back? Do I ignore her?

I really don't know what do its all so confusing, I know she has a lot going on family wise, but do I just give her space and run the risk of her thinking I don't care, there's so many thought running through my head atm

Well basically there's another twist to this whole saga, basically yesterday to get me out of the house my dad gave me money to go to the gym and put petrol in my car, so I wrote on my Facebook that I was going to the gym.

I went to the gym none the wiser but while I was there she was speaking to my sister on MSN, asking where I was apparently to just check I was OK, I came home found this out thought nothing of it and went back out just to clear my head and keep busy.

While I was out she continued to talk to my sister, she asked her if I was home yet? If she knew where I was? My sister told her she didn't know and asked why she wanted to know and she said she wanted to speak to me, My sister said she would text me for me to ring her, but my ex said nah its fine ill let him enjoy whatever he's doing.

Then my sister said I'll text him he won't mind, so my ex said just ask where he is because if he's busy ill leave him be until later, so my sister text and told me to ring her and told my ex, after a while I hadn't rung so my sister asked had I,

So my ex said no give him a chance, So after a bit I rung her asked what she wanted, she said nothing and I said well my sister told me to ring you so must be something, and she said she couldn't understand how I can afford to do what I'm doing blah de blah, and I said my dad had paid and whatever else she became funny and put the phone down, I rang her back it happened again, I rang her back a 3rd time said look this is why I did this, and she said OK so I said OK ill speak to you soon and she just put the phone down

She said to my sister he rung me he didn't want to talk to me, my sister said he does he loves you, my ex then said he doesn't want to talk to me , My sister asked how she knew and my ex replied he said what do youu want? I said nothing really just want talk 2 you and he was lk oh well I'm out it doesn't matter I don't blame him, when I said nothing to that effect, Then I got a text off my ex saying text me when your home please.

So I did and she said forget it, so I was like forget what? And she said you've been out on your own till now? And I said yeah why? She said lying. I don't care just was going to ask you to meet me to give your stuff back but never mind, I said why are you giving it back? She said I don't want it, So I didn't text back didn't see much point, then about 10-15 minutes later I got a text saying why are you ignoring me I said I'm not am I? So she said well when then, I said there's nothing to give back really and she said hoody and tshirt, I said its pointless I don't want them do what you want with them, she said nah I want you to have them back so when? I said whenever I'm free most days and she said OK ill let you know.

So while all that was going on she was still talking to my sister on MSN and my sister had asked why doesn't she miss me? And my ex replied I do! He doesn't care about me anymore were just friends now,

Then my ex rung me and said if your sister tells you to ring me don't, balh de blah so I said OK and we got talking and she said look if you want to talk go on msn so I did, we were hardly speaking on there, just little bits, then my sister added us into a conversation with her , me and my sis said hi and my ex didn't, I said she won't she's boring messing around and she kept leaving the conversation, so my sister said he didn't mean it he was being a mong and my ex said its not that I miss him, and I said I'm going off msn can I ring you before bed she said OK

So I got off msn then had a text off her saying I have got depression and I said I'll help you through it if you want, she said its not fair on you, I said you have no choice I'm helping you, and she said I don't want to be skinny no more and things like that and then she rang me all upset and I calmed her down and told her she's beautiful the way she is and it's the way she's meant to be most people would kill for her figure etc, she was getting upset and said I'm going now so I said not till you stop crying which she did, then I said OK text me in the morning.

Before bed I text her and I text her and said night night sweet dream Don't be upset don't be down, you deserve nothing but happiness, walk around with your held up high and realise how beautiful you are inside and out, no more tears nothing is worth your tears and I mean nothing she text me back then saying when she was out on the weekend she over heard guys talking about the gym they looked at her and said bet the only running she does it to the toilet and they were laughing an she doesn't want to look ill, it killed her, so I text her back and said Don't be upset don't be down, you deserve nothing but happiness, walk around with your held up high and realise how beautiful you are inside and out, no more tears nothing is worth your tears and I mean nothing.

So I said Fuk them babe honestly what gives them the right to pass judgement you don't look ill at all you look gorgeous, don't let what two idiots say drag you down, you are the way you are, people will pick holes in people because their jealous simple as, they think their better but the thing is that their just insecure so they try and make other people feel worse they aren't worth your thoughts babe, honestly you gorgeous and sexy I mean that and everyone I showed your picture too said you were beautiful gorgeous and sex so two idiots mean nothing

So this morning she text saying Thank you for trying to help last night, I'm sure ill be okay, I'm going to stop bothering you though its not fair ill never get over you if I can't look after myself, so I said do you really want to get over me? And she said I have to and I said why and she said got to learn to look after myself and I said you do but she said I've still got you to fall back on and its not helping because I need to do things on my own, I said you do you're an independent person.

She text back saying do something for my sake don't text me back and don't text me until Thursday. I need to cope on my own for a bit then we can be friend OK. Work now speak to you then. Xx



She text me saying forget what I said talk to me so I said you OK?
She said yeah missing you today been talking about you saying your fab and understanding, what you doing?

I text back told her what I was doing, she said I tried sending that message about 4 times it wouldn't work and now I've got to go back to work and that'll she'll text me break time

What the hell am I supposed to think?

His whole situation starts getting more and more weird, she was texting me about work and the summer and stuff, and she said she may go somewhere and do charity work in africa, I said sounds good will be rewarding but hard work, she said. She said sounds like a plan to me, so I didn't text back she text and asked what I was doing and I said going to go for a jog and she flipped, she said why for pulling power? And I said nah a few days before we broke up I started going to the gym you know that, she knew I was unhappy with my body and encouraged me to go to the gym and she just text back saying whatever.

And I forgot to mention the other day the girl I was meeting before I got with my now ex, wrote on my Facebook and she lost it and said she was going to delete me off there but didn't end up doing it
Just all doesn't make sense

There's more from the never ending saga, she text me to find out what I was doing, so I said I was going jogging, and She said Why for pulling power? And I said nah my mates made me a fitness programme and I want to see if it works.

Her reply to that was funny how you didn't do anything until we broke up, even though id gone to the gym the Tuesday before we had broken up, I told her that and her response was simply whatever!

She then text me to see where I was I text back and no answer so after about an hour I tried again nothing , So I tried ringing nothing, then I had a text," Make the hurt go away ok? poof goned im lush"
So I asked her What hurt? To which her reply was your being lush and were not together you never did it before you didn't care enough, now your trying to pull, so she then rang and I asked why she text to say where was I then didn't answer, so she went off on one saying she didn't need to know blah de blah.

So she put the phone down that was then followed by a text saying I only ask so if your with a girl you can say, Then she rung me to aplogise for being off spoke to me for ages about her hair dying stuff, she went to do it and that was that, we text each other normally for a bit, she then asked if I knew a cheap hotel she could stay in,I told her a few and then said as my house in Cardiff is empty I can give her the keys and she's more than welcome to stay there.

She said it would be odd staying there on her own, I said I would offer to come with you but I guess that's not an option, she said you could but it would mess with your head, I left it to her to decide, So I thought that was that for the night, but while I was on the phone to a long time friend she rang, So I answered she asked who I was on the phone too I told her, My mate Nicky ( a boy) and she said your girlfriend? I just said nope as she knows who nicky is, anyway we carried on talking and then she said she'd ring me back, but between my mate ben had rung, and while I was on the phone to him she tried ringing again.

So I rung her back her first question was who were you on the phone too I said Ben she said Im going to bed now n, and the phone went dead So I rang back said what's that all about, she said Im going to delete your number there's no point, you don't ring me anymore, you don't text me, when I text you, you take like 8 hours to text back, I said yeah I just don't know what to do.

So her reply again was whatever, so I thought id text to say goodnight, and this morning I got a text saying whatever, so I said what's the matter to which the reply was " I dont believe a word you say, I dont think you care anymore and im not going to sit around a breaking my heart when your loving how much im hurting, I said well your wrong i care more than ever i didnt know what you wanted me to do, I didnt know whether you wanted me to text or not or whatever. Why are you breaking your heart? I'm not loving to see you hurting at all. i didnt even know you were hurting, the last thing i want is that and you know that.

To which her reply was, you do your not doing anythin you used to do, you just leave me cry your making me hate you, so i said when are you crying? I have never left you cry i think sunday showed that? and what did i used to do? and she said " ring me back, text me back straight away, you don't ring or text back you take hours to reply to anything and every time I do ring or text your on the phone or out you've changed so much and I don't even want to be around anymore it hurts so much and your rubbing everyhing in my face gym running, that's not you I don't like you the way you are now.

So I asked why don't you want to be around anymore? What do you mean you don't like the way I am now? And How's it not me?
She replied with I love the way you used to be, the boy you were before you changed, you'd not wash your stuff and you'd be messy and eat junk and watch eastenders and stay in with me and text me straight away, I don't like the new you, I said the simple answer to that is I love you and then she said ps I'm sleeping in my car tonight because mum said he can't stay ( her sisters boyfriend) which all the arguments between her and her mum have been over,because her sister is only 16 and she feels uncomfortable with it

Oh man, not sure if you finished what you wanted to say... but I think your situation is a less complicated than you think.

From the first part of your story, it's clear that she likes you a lot, but your relationship has been going downhill. She says that you changed a lot... I'm not sure if you changed a lot in the 6 months you were together or that your true colors started showing when you got comfortable with her.

You guys probably didn't know each other well enough in the beginning so she had this perfect image of you. Once she got to know you better, she realized that you're not that person.

Sounds like she's looking for more excitement in a relationship. She's given you so many chances by texting you so often even though she says she wants a break. Sounds like she wanted you to do something major to save the relationship. But you didn't do anything. Now it sounds like she wants to move on with her life and move past you.

It's never easy to break up, so at first, she will still look for you, because you cannot cut each other out just like that. But it sounds like she will look for you less and less.

You got to make up your mind. Do you want a second chance with her? If you do, then do something about it. Right now you're just sitting back and waiting for her to make the moves. You got to take initiative and step up with something major.

However, she sounds very unstable and I'm not sure you want to stay with her. I think that most people here will tell you to find someone else. But the choice is yours.

She thinks I have changed after the break up not during the relationship she said the relationship was perfect, but how can I throw some excitement in without mssing it up and appearing too full on? When I mention an us she just brings up being friends but is that due to the depression?

Think about it this way. The approach you were taking... back off, nice guy approach didn't get you anywhere. Did you not think of trying something completely different?

I was trying to give you a balanced advice. But the second part of my advice is more appropriate. She's very unstable.

I was in a similar relationship. My ex was really depressed and I didn't know how to help her either. I tried the same approach you did. Back off, give her space to figure it out on her own. It didn't work. It was too much for me to handle. She couldn't even help herself, so there was no way I could confied in her. It was a one-way relationship. So it was bound to end.

I suggest you start the healing process and apply the no contact rules.

If the relationship was perfect, her words, than she wouldn't have throw it away.

Your sister needs to stop putting herself in the middle of things. If she is going talk to her than let her talk to her without the conversation being about you.

Your ex has issues, mental issues that only a professional can solve. Stop texting, accepting her texts, talking on phone or via the internet,etc
Cut all ties! She is confuse but what's to have the upper hand over you and your allowing her to.

Move forward and on with your life and no more going backwards round in cirles over and over again. It's hard to say "goodbye" but it need to be said and you need to let this girl go.

Think about it this way. The approach you were taking... back off, nice guy approach didn't get you anywhere. Did you not think of trying something completely different?

I was trying to give you a balanced advice. But the second part of my advice is more appropriate. She's very unstable.

I was in a similar relationship. My ex was really depressed and I didn't know how to help her either. I tried the same approach you did. Back off, give her space to figure it out on her own. It didn't work. It was too much for me to handle. She couldn't even help herself, so there was no way I could confied in her. It was a one-way relationship. So it was bound to end.

I suggest you start the healing process and apply the no contact rules.


But what would be completely different, being horrible? Yes I know she's very unstable but I want to help her out because I promised Id never leave her, and she cried on the phone last night and said never don't be my friend. Did your I'm guessing now ex girlfriend move on or is she still in he same situation? What do you think the chances are of getting her back

And I just can't leave her while she's depressed she has nobody else to turn to, she has a trouble home live she has fallen out or doesn't see her friends, I can't just up and leave

You want to help her but how exactly do you plan on completing this task?

She needs professional help and as long as you plan on staying your be sacrificing your own needs but you don't see it that way. Shame!

I guess your stay in this web of confusion of an emotional roller coaster ride.

Have to spread rep, but liz28 is right, unless you are a professional, you can be there as a friend and support her, but you can't cure her. She needs to see a therapist.

To answer your question, we tried so many times. We broke up (not more than 24 hours) and got back together. The cycle repeated 3 times over a span of 2 years. The first time we had this kind of fight was 7 months into the relationship. We both knew our relationship was in trouble and we gave it our best shot. After the last breakup, I think we both wanted to keep the door open (but it would be a few years down the line), but as time went on, we both knew that we're better off just as a friends (it usually happens when you recover from the break up).

The point is, both of you have to be willing to try to continue a relationship. I know you still have it in you to give it another shot, but she has to feel the same way and it doesn't look like she does. She keeps mentioning the word: "friend" instead of "another chance".

You aren't going to like this, but leaving her alone, to deal with her own problems, is the best thing you could ever do for her, and yourself.

You do not have the tools, skills, or knowledge to help her. Sorry guy, your feelings have you helpless, to do the right thing for you both.

Have to spread rep, but liz28 is right, unless you are a professional, you can be there as a friend and support her, but you can't cure her. She needs to see a therapist.

To answer your question, we tried so many times. We broke up (not more than 24 hours) and got back together. The cycle repeated 3 times over a span of 2 years. The first time we had this kind of fight was 7 months into the relationship. We both knew our relationship was in trouble and we gave it our best shot. After the last breakup, I think we both wanted to keep the door open (but it would be a few years down the line), but as time went on, we both knew that we're better off just as a friends (it usually happens when you recover from the break up).

The point is, both of you have to be willing to try to continue a relationship. I know you still have it in you to give it another shot, but she has to feel the same way and it doesn't look like she does. She keeps mentioning the word: "friend" instead of "another chance".

What can I do to inject some excitement?

what can i do to inject some excitement?

I know I told you that she might be waiting for you to do something major. But that was in the earlier stages. The two of you have drifted apart too far at this point.

You're not going to like this response: you tried already.

You invited her to go Cardiff with you and she backed out. I hate to say it, but that was your chance to re-spark your relationship. You did your part and she didn't reciprocate, which means that she doesn't feel the same way about you.

I wish I didn't have to tell you to move on, it is the most logical thing to do at this point. I feel for you though. If you're going to regret not giving it another shot, then you can try to invite her to go to Cardiff again (or something similar). Tell her that you want a chance to save the relationship because of how much you love her and that you don't want to lose her. If you choose this route, you got to be prepared to be shot down again. The chances are slim to none that she wants to give this relationship a second chance.

I know I told you that she might be waiting for you to do something major. But that was in the earlier stages. The two of you have drifted apart too far at this point.

You're not going to like this response: you tried already.

You invited her to go Cardiff with you and she backed out. I hate to say it, but that was your chance to re-spark your relationship. You did your part and she didn't reciprocate, which means that she doesn't feel the same way about you.

I wish I didn't have to tell you to move on, it is the most logical thing to do at this point. I feel for you though. If you're going to regret not giving it another shot, then you can try to invite her to go to Cardiff again (or something similar). Tell her that you want a chance to save the relationship because of how much you love her and that you don't want to lose her. If you choose this route, you gotta be prepared to be shot down again. The chances are slim to none that she wants to give this relationship a second chance.

It just gets more and more complicated after talking and getting upset last night, I thought the conclusion had finally been reached to be friends she said not to talk for a bit etc, but this morning I received a text saying thank you lots, no matter ow hard it is you understand and I really appreciate it, speak to you later, so I ignored the text because as far as I was concerned there was no response to that but just now she sent me a text with just 3 kisses, why? Not friend like behaviour?

It just gets more and more complicated after talking and getting upset last night, i thought the conclusion had finally been reached to be friends she said not to talk for a bit etc, but this morning i recieved a text saying thank you lots, no matter ow hard it is you understand and i really appreciate it, speak to you later, so i ignored the text because as far as i was concerned there was no response to that but just now she sent me a text with just 3 kisses, why? not friend like behaviour?

We told you, she's really unstable. She doesn't really know what she wants, but she's not ready to let you go. So she's just stringing you along. She might not want a relationship, but she doesn't want to close the door on you forever. You don't need to keep speculating on all these signs. If you want another shot with her, you're going to have to accept her unstableness.

The best option is to give her space and let her find herself before you try again. But if you really want another shot with her now, tell her. If you do still love her, then do something about it. Get a straight answer out of her or else this could drive you crazy. Find out if she just needs space before continuing the relationship or whatever explanation she gives. It's not fair to you for her to string you along.

But it's not only what she wants, what do you want? Do you still love her? Are you sure you still love her? From what you told us, it just sounds like you care about her and you want to cure her. What does she offer you to make you so in love with her? (You don't need to tell us, but you need to answer this yourself).

We told you, she's really unstable. She doesn't really know what she wants, but she's not ready to let you go. So she's just stringing you along. She might not want a relationship, but she doesn't want to close the door on you forever. You don't need to keep speculating on all these signs. If you want another shot with her, you're going to have to accept her unstableness.

The best option is to give her space and let her find herself before you try again. But if you really want another shot with her now, tell her. It's not only what she wants, what do you want? Do you still love her? If you do, then do something about it, if you don't, move on and forget about interpreting all these signs.

I do love her, and I don't want her but I don't want to do anything now due to her instability the last thing she needs is me piling on the pressure, and I don't want to leave her be at the same time so she may think I don't care, I don't know what to do for the best:confused:

I do love her, and I dont want her but I dont want to do anything now due to her instability the last thing she needs is me piling on the pressure, and I dont want to leave her be at the same time so she may think i dont care, i dont know what to do for the best:confused:

Tell her that. Tell her that you love her, but you also want to give her space to let her find herself. Tell her that you don't want to close the door on her. Tell her that you know that you might not be able to get some straight answers from her, but you still want to know if you should wait for her.

I know that everyone is telling you to move on for so many reasons. But if you can't move on, then talk to her. Sit her down and get some straight answers.

Unless you're the cause of her depression, her feelings for you should be clear in her mind. If she can't differenciate the two, then she's extremely unstable and needs professional help.

Tell her that. Tell her that you love her, but you also want to give her space to let her find herself. Tell her that you don't want to close the door on her. Tell her that you know that you might not be able to get some straight answers from her, but you still want to know if you should wait for her.

I know that everyone is telling you to move on for so many reasons. But if you can't move on, then talk to her. Sit her down and get some straight answers.

Unless you're the cause of her depression, her feelings for you should be clear in her mind. If she can't differenciate the two, then she's extremely unstable and needs professional help.

She actually said she wants to try and get over me first to see how much is the depression and how much is the break up, but I know if I mention to her now I'm never shutting the door, she'll say she only wants to be friends anyway, I'm just hoping if she solves this depression then she will come out the other side clearer headed, I don't know what to do for the best, people say she's attention seeking would you agree? And nah she said I'm not the cause of depression she said she's had it before and its come back, I just don't know what to do for the best

Right now you can't give her what she wants because your healing too from all of this.

You said she had depression before and she has it now-more of a reason she needs professional help to get to the bottom of her issues. She may need medicine but again the doctor will do what he or she feels it best.

You don't want to let her go due your feelings and you don't want to dissappoint her but this load is too heavy to be carrying on your shoulders.

Depression is a serious issue and shouldn't be taken lightenly. You need to remove yourself from this situation and cope with your own feelings while she sort out her life. I know it's hard to just walk away but sometimes you have to.

Right now you can't give her what she wants because your healing too from all of this.

You said she had depression before and she has it now-more of a reason she needs professional help to get to the bottom of her issues. She may need medicine but again the doctor will do what he or she feels it best.

You don't want to let her go due your feelings and you don't want to dissappoint her but this load is too heavy to be carrying on your shoulders.

Depression is a serious issue and shouldn't be taken lightenly. You need to remove yourself from this situation and cope with your own feelings while she sort out her life. I know it's hard to just walk away but sometimes you have to.

After she finished work and I ignored her texts all day she phoned and I answered and she was talking to me normally finding out if I had any plans, and when she found out I did she said aw I was going to come see you for a bit, so she decided too anyway, so she came up we talking fine, she told me she still wore my hoody, and then we were still talking but she said you can't text me after this and say I love you and stuff so I don't get it?

After she finished work and I ignored her texts all day she phoned and I answered and she was talking to me normally finding out if I had any plans, and when she found out i did she said aw i was going to come see you for a bit, so she decided too anyway, so she came up we talking fine, she told me she still wore my hoody, and then we were still talking but she said you can't text me after this and say i love you and stuff so i dont get it?

That's what I'm trying to say. Everyone is going to tell you to move on, but obviously you're extremely confused with her and you want answers.

We're just going in circles. And you're going in cricles with her too. You got to sit her down and get some straight answers out of her. Be the man and take charge.

That's what I'm trying to say. Everyone is going to tell you to move on, but obviously you're extremely confused with her and you want answers.

We're just going in circles. And you're going in cricles with her too. You gotta sit her down and get some straight answers out of her. Be the man and take charge.

She's on of these people who can't sit down and talk though
So I'm not sure what I should do

If you can't have a open talk with her I don't know how you ever planned for this to last.

I didn't see it coming to this
That's the problem
She's having a go at me now for talking to a friend of hers
Because the two weren't speaking at the time

Trying to find logical conclusions, to illogical circumstances, is an exercise in utter futility. The more contact you have, the more you will NOT get it.

I just don't know what to do, we try the whole space thing and he keeps texting or ringing, what am I meant to do?
I can't work this out, why the constant need to ring me or text me? Surely if we are going to be friends I've I don't return her text for a while it doesn't matter, and what was the need to ring 3 times within 20 minutes?

Your about to learn very valuable lesson in standing up for yourself, and not let people play games with you.

Send a strong message that your through with the BS, by ignoring them, until they learn some respect. That may mean letting them be mad, but that will be their problem not yours.

Its you who must look out for yourself, because clearly they will not.

Today she rings me to say she made a mistake, but whilst having a go at me for talking to her friend, now she's still speaking and I said what's wrong? And she said me, and I asked why and she said she can't stop crying

And she sent me a picture from my Facebook with me with my arm round a girl, what's that all about, she said I look happy and she hates hurting

Keep letting her play head games with you, and let me know how that works for you.

I received this text today after asking for space
Can anyone understand it?

Was just going to tell you I really care about you two. Depression affects everything I do, think and say, it stops me sleeping,eating smiling, feeling anything but hurt thinking rationally, it stops me wanting to be around. That's the main reason I need to be on my own depression, it lets me concentrate on myself and stops you hurting like I am, I understand you need your space so ill wait for you

I had this text after she said she hopes I find someone good enough for me I'm fab, it said no someone new, I don't understand what I want or what makes me happy. You need 2 find a girl who will make you their whole world and not hurt you.

After that I received this text after just general chit chat and it said she keeps staring at me so lucy was like what is your problem? Huff, sorry I haven text you sooner ill tx you later on shall I? Love u

But later that night the whole friends thing pop its ugly head up, and then she was texting me so I just ignored it she rang me, I ignored it, then I had a text saying Can I speak to you before I go to bed, So I rung her she was saying nothing so I asked her why she asked me to ring if she wasn't saying much, so she went, she kept ringing me after about 3 calls I answered and She asked why I hadn't answered and I said that I just didn't answer, now she's made no contact
Is this a good move considering the depression?

You shouldn't have called her back. It's just giving her false hope too. You really need to stick with no contact. No more replying to anything sends you.

Otherwise, you will reset all the recovery progress.

False hope of what though? I'm really struggling not to ring or text

Threads merged and edited.

Right bascially this got rather long winded before and probably will again but here goes,

Me and my ex have now broken up 3 times for no apparent reason, we'll scream and shout at each other say we never want to speak again but 20 minutes later she'll text and everything will be fine.

But here comes the complicated part, we'd been broken up a week and a half and she kissed another guy at his house, I found out and wasn't impressed she wouldn't tell me anything about it, because id found out off other people and she wasn't happy.

Yet she talks to my mate about everything so she explained it all to him in the hope he could find some way to tell me because she finds it difficult explaining her emotions but basically she told my mate she kissed the other guy because she hates loving me, because she thinks she's too much trouble and it'll end up hurting me, but when she kissed him she realised I'm the only person she could have feelings for and she had made a massive mistake.

So last night we were on the phone talking and it was like when we first met I loved it and she did too laughing joking, all the seriousness had somehow gone away, and that lead to her getting off the phone and saying she loved me, and texting me this morning saying she loved me and now wanting to come stay

I just wonder am I making the right move or could it all go wrong again?

You are me 5 years ago. My relationship lasted 8 years. We broke up for 20 minutes many times. We would just skip over the resolution and go for sex, or intimacy, or companionship... but nothing ever got resolved.

You will be in the same boat as you were before. Make up, to break up!

This scenario has developed even further where it happens she says she doesn't know what she wants then she wants me, she said she doesn't want to settle down then she asked could we move in together.

She says to leave her alone but she always gets back in contact with me I just don't understand it, My friend had a go at her and told her a few home truths and she said she wanted to be with me but now she's playing games again by ignoring me etc

What am I meant to do?

Go live your live and quit playing stupid a$$ games with her. Are you her dog? NO! Leave her and her immaturity to someone else.

She sounds like she is not ready for anything but deep down she wants you but not ready.
She may be stringing you along because she doesn't want to lose you. But more importantly she sounds co dependent. Like she needs to know where you are going and what you are doing and then she bases that on what she is going to do. Like if she calls and asks what are you doing maybe hoping you will say you were thinking of asking her if she wants to go out tonight. Instead you say something like I am going out with the guys.
So now she knows you have plans that do not include her so she feels crummy about sitting in the house thinking about how you are out and she is home alone. So she decides she is going out because she needs to get out of the house even though she doesn't feel like going out.

I think she is co dependent, rather immature and uncertain of what she really wants in life.

This scenario has developed even further where it happens she says she doesnt know what she wants then she wants me, she said she doesnt want to settle down then she asked could we move in together.

She says to leave her alone but she always gets back in contact with me I just dont understand it, My friend had a go at her and told her a few home truths and she said she wanted to be with me but now shes playing games again by ignoring me etc

what am i meant to do?


If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten and deserve! Leave her the hell alone, she is toying with you.

Yes she is toying with you. You need to take it to a different level and set a different tone to get different results. The trick is trying to figure out a plan that will catch her emotional blackmail off guard.

I like the busy, but unavailable approach. You can politely distance yourself from her BS, no matter what her motives are.

That's exactly what happens she'll ring and ill say I'm out and she'll take it as I don't care, so she goes out and plays the mind games too, like when I went to tescos with my friend she'd rung to have a chat before bed but once she knew I was out she said I was just ringing to tell you I was going to bed night, now she has ignored me all day

thats exactly what happens she'll ring and ill say im out and she'll take it as I dont care, so she goes out and plays the mind games too, like when i went to tescos with my friend she'd rung to have a chat before bed but once she knew i was out she said i was just ringing to tell you i was going to bed night, now she has ignored me all day


Do you not understand what leave her be mean? When someone ignores you it doesn't mean you annoy them.
Forget about her.

She is unsure about what she wants so you are just going to get hurt repeatedly,
and I repeat.

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten and deserve! leave her ALONE, she is toying with you

Yeah but my point is I do leave her alone but she ends up texting me or ringing me or bugging my friends until I answer or sitting outside my house so what am I meant to do?

Yeah but my point is I do leave her alone but she ends up texting me or ringing me or bugging my friends until I answer or sitting outside my house so what am I meant to do?


Block her text or change your number, tell her do not ask anyone about you, Tell your friends to ignore her and tell her to stop coming to your house without you inviting her. No matter how many times she call, text ask about you IGNORE HER, don't keep falling into her trap.

Does this sound like a friendly rational person to you? Sounds like a psycho stalker to me.

Tell her to leave you alone, and watch your back.

I agree with Joli and Talaniman
You are reading too much into things if you think she would be a good girlfriend for you.

Im reading too much into things if I think she's a good girlfriend for me, meaning she's not?
Or if I didn't read so much into things she would be?

Im reading too much into things if i think shes a good gf for me, meaning shes not?
or if i didnt read so much into things she would be?



She is not a good girlfriend for you obviously, if so you wouldn't be posting on this site about her indecisiveness.

Ah well I indirectly found out last night that she was texting and sending picture messages to the guy she kissed, serves me right as you all said I let her walk all over me so what could I expect

So, I guess this means you have learned your lesson and will cut her out of your life right? I am not sure how much more you can take.

Ah well i indirectly found out last night that she was texting and sending picture messages to the guy she kissed, serves me right as you all said i let her walk all over me so what could i expect

So, I hope you are going to leave her alone for good now.

Yeah she tried telling me it was her friends number, but as soon as I mentioned it she said it was you ringing him then was it, so makes it plain as day and she said where did you get the number from my phone bill? So his number must have been on there

I don't want to give up, but I've been given no other choice :(

Yeah she tried telling me it was her friends number, but as soon as i mentioned it she said it was you ringing him then was it, so makes it plain as day and she said where did you get the number from my phone bill? so his number must have been on there

I dont want to give up, but ive been given no other choice :(


Stop snooping already it's over. Turn the volume up on your intuition and let it go bro.
It's finito. Done.

This is the time you should be trying to get yourself together emotionally, stop looking for things in which you already knew the answer to. You need to start healing.

I wasn't snooping at her phone bill we both looked at it to sort out the best phone plan for her, I can't believe she can be like this after calling me pathetic the other day because I said I was going to bed and ended up going to tesco for a drive with my mate because he had broken up with his long term girlfriend
And this morning I received this text

I have never cheated and if you hadn't rung at that time on that day I wouldn't have been on the phone to him. I think its pathetic that you did all that, shows you weren't accusing me because you were secretly checking up on me like you said? I'm a cheap worthless slut so leave me alone

I wasnt snooping at her phone bill we both looked at it to sort out the best phone plan for her, i can't believe she can be like this after calling me pathetic the other day because i said i was going to bed and ended up going to tesco for a drive with my mate because he had broken up with his long term girlfriend
and this morning i recieved this text

I have never cheated and if you hadnt rung at that time on that day i wouldnt have been on the phone to him. I think its pathetic that you did all that, shows you werent accusing me because you were secretly checking up on me like you said? im a cheap worthless slut so leave me alone



She is doing the guilt trip, trying to make you feel bad. She called her ownself those things not you. Change your phone number, let her wonder what you are up to, don't even respond trust me. The more you do the more you are pissing her off.

Since all this there has been so much arguing and can not stand it one bit
We now do not speak, she has been telling people I have cheated on her
That I have set girls onto her, that I have given her number and email address out
That I was meeting another person throughout the relationship

I have asked her to talk about this but she won't, and its killing me
I keep thinking of her with someone else and it tears me apart
I think I'm fine and over it when I'm obviously not, I never did cheat or anything
That she says how can I make her see that, and even after all this I still love her
Why?

Tonight I got a phone call from the guy I was suspicious of
Turns out she is going back to his tonight, so all you guys are right
I've never felt so low ill be honest
Shows I meant nothing and the words were hollow

That was a message I sent to her friend after being called god knows what

Look I give up OK, everybody has made up their own mind about everything and not even thought to ask me because I must be lying and whatever I don't care what anyone thinks about me anymore, think about it if I was with someone else the whole time I was with jen, do you really think every time me and her broke up, I would have cared and tried so hard to get her back if I had someone else.

I know exactly what happened and this is what happened and if you choose to believe me or not its up to you.

That jess girl came on msn drunk and talked to Paul and said that I cheated on Jen, Paul then text Jen to tell her and remember how much trouble this jess girl has caused in the past but now jen chooses to believe her funny that

I know exactly what happened no girl came up to Jen in wind st at all, the only time that happened was this Friday when my mate was out and saw her holding hands with mike and to be sure it her before he told me he sent his friend over to ask was it jen, while I was on the phone to jen

But I'm guessing jen forgot the bit where mike had phoned me and asked me what was going on with Jen sitting next to him all the time, and she let him wind me up, and instead of stopping him she just punched him when she said certain things

I'm not trying to say I'm an angel in all of this, one time we went through jens phonebill to see why she went over and she had sent things to a number ending in 150 I then had matts cousin emily come onto msn and say look this is his number and it ended in 150, so I said to jen about it and all this started, I didn't go looking for his number at all, do you really think id want to know she was texting him, but ill admit I got it wrong because it was jade's number not his

And I accused her for a very long time after she kissed mike that she was up to all sorts and I know I did that for way to long and about stupid things, so as you see I have done things but nothing I have been accused of.

And one time before I thought she had blocked me on msn so I asked someone to add her to see if she was online yes pathetic I know but there we are

I haven't asked anyone to text jen, to threaten jen nothing, whoever has said anything to her has nothing to do with me.

Jen has told people that I cheated on her in the first place of our relationship but we sorted it out and we got back together, that I ask people to add her on Facebook so I can see what she's doing, and that I use my friends facebooks to check up on her, lets be honest would I really do all that to see that she's fine without me.

And with the whole sam thing don't even get me started with that, I haven't told anyone anything all I've ever said was her ex messed with her head a lot what's so wrong with that, is it not true?

And I tell you what your adamant that the 4 page text is from a girl, ring the number your in for a big surprise

Apparently I've talked bad about her for ages.. since when? Apparently I get people to ring or text if they see jen which is a blatent lie, people have text me and said she's out but not because I asked them too, what am I supposed to do about that, its like jen texting you to say jez is out

Yes my mate david sent her a message on Facebook and he had a go at her but he only did what your doing now sticking up for a friend, and I had jen crying on webcam to me telling me that she loved me and how could I be over her so quickly and that she wants to work things out next day it all changed


And last night me and jen had a massive bust up because she decided to tell my little 12 year old sister she was upset because of me, when she didn't need to say anything at all to her

If I had done what I'm accused of doing then that would be fine but I haven't, jen asked me to leave her alone I did, as soon as I do that I have you messaging me on Facebook and jade texting me threatening me, and your telling me jen knows nothing about that? Well how else would jade get my number, and then jen said about the 4 page text I had nothing to say and she had sent it to me four days in a row, I had nothing to say about it because she said to leave me alone and I asked jen about you emailing and she said she hadn't seen you all weekend

Do you really think I want all this hassle, why would I do all them things when I love jen, but she's taken everyone else's word over mine and so will you too probably after reading this but all I can say is I tried.

And I am trying the no contact rule but she always texts me and says something is up so I ring her, in regards with calls do I just ignore them and texts? Or do I hang up so she knows I've seen it?

And i am trying the no contact rule but she always texts me and says something is up so i ring her, in regards with calls do i just ignore them and texts? or do i hang up so she knows ive seen it?

You ignore! This is about you healing... about YOU, not her. She is dead to you. Simple, plain and to the point, you owe her nothing. Her relationship privileges are revoked! Change your number if you have to.

I know this may seem like an odd question but I leave her alone like she says, but then she still texts.. why?

Because it strokes at her ego to know you will still answer her... cut the food supply off and the people shall starve!

I know this may seem like an odd question but i leave her alone like she says, but then she still texts..why?



Because you're so predictable. And she can manipulate you, very childish. But you have it in your mind that you want her back, and fear that if you don't respond in the way she wants that she would be upset with you, and never get back with you. So you let her be in control. Because you are hopeful. But instead of it making you happier, it makes you more and more unhappy and confused.

Understand this relationship is toxic. She has growing up to do, and so do you.

Ive come to the conclusion I'm going to ignore her for a week and play the whole oh sorry I'm busy routine after that

Well I've managed to find a way to block her calls and texts so here goes nothing, there's still little comments on my friends facebooks aimed at me but ah well.
I still have these days where I really miss her and days when I'm fine, She text me last night saying I miss you, at stupid o clock obviously drunk, it just seems like she's saying leave me alone until I want to talk to you, no chance am I doing that, and I guess your right I'm making excuses for still wanting her but as you said she's swanning around with some other guy she couldn't care less, and its time I did the same
Simply put she spoke to my mate on msn which meant she text me saying we need to talk, so we did found out she misses me and still loves me blah be blah, but the arguments still continued, and I ended up texting her saying " forget it, i try and make an effort to talk, you dont you dont trust me, dont wanna listen to antyhing i say and always accuse me of trying to cause arguements dont you see thats the last thing i want, ill just stay out of your life "

That led to me having a blank text sent Sunday and then two sent yesterday and two missed calls, one question... why? And it can't be an accident because she said she deleted my number

And since I've had her crying to me on the phone telling me she loves me and misses me and she gets annoyed when I mention other girls but we can't talk without arguing and now she's gone on holiday and won't speak for 10 days maybe this a good thing?

Have you considered blocking her on Facebook? That way she can't see you and you can't see her.


I'm glad your doing better and that you see the reality in all this.

You really need to stick to your guns on this one!

Is there anyway you can block her number? Some phone companies offers this, but very few... have you considered changing your number (if you do this you need to tell the people you give it to to not give it to her and it should be unlisted)

Also, when you see a txt from her delete it immediately, before reading it. That way you have received it but you don't know what it says. Which can be very very helpful for you right now!

, she went on holiday early hours of this morning and text me while she was waiting for her flight I was sleeping so she rang me so I wok up, the first text said " im not leaving you on bad terms babe tx me bk" followed by " tx me back snugglebum xxx" I said to her aren't you meant to be on holiday? Because I thought she'd flown earlier in the day the next text said " i dont care im not flying until 7 ill tx you as much as i can..lets make friends xx" I asked her about all the nights out she's had and whatever else and she replied with " i give up, i wanted to make friends incase anything happened, be friends with me x", I then asked if she had kissed anyone or anything else during our break up and she said " forget it, i already said no now we gonna smooch and make up or end like this xx"

I said to her we've had all day to make friends why leave it till now you only seem to text me when you have nothing better to do " I woke up at 2 , went back to sleep at 7, woke up at 3 thats why im only now textin you. im not going to get on that plane til were friends", Then this was just a random text " im in cardiff, happy times we had still make me smile im sorry i stopped you going out with your friends up there, i gotta sort my jealousy out x" I said well it seems as though you don't miss me and your fine " no i do i just hate admitting it im not fine x" I said why make out as if you are, why not be honest " I dont make anything out the girls know how i feel ive been crying to kirst all week, we go out to take my mind off it x" I said I don't think I can be friends while I'm still in love with you "try just til i get back from holidays, then we can talk more back on the 31st" I said I don't think I can do it, id have to stand around and watch as you move on " no i mean to be friends and talk when im back" She then said" im boardin soo do i tx you when im there? x" I said its completely up to you text me fi you want she replied with "see how i feel i get really homesick so try not 2, ill be thinking about you tho x" I said yeah OK have a good holiday see you soon "see you soon babe love you xx" I said love you too xx and she replied with " lots and lots and more and more and more xxx" and then she text me when she was there and that's basically how things stand now

I still can't work out whether its all one big game or not to be honest, maybe the ten days away will do good

I wonder if anyone can make the true meaning from this
Sorry if I treated you badly I never meant to I always adored you, loads of time to think out here xxx

The true meaning is however who reads it wants to interpret it.

If they want you back they will see it as sweet and meaningful

If they don't want you back they will see it as another desperate ploy to suck them back into something they are tired of

I'd go with the second!

Yes sounds like she has some sort of mental illness and is unstable, or is playing mind games with you, my son had something very similar happen to him and she was suicidal in the end and he couldn't bear to watch her like that but couldn't bear the consequences of what would happen if he left. It made him feel ill and depressed but he soon realised that she was the one with the problem and he couldn't help her so he walked. He feels lot better for it now and she's still the same. Don't keep running after her and replying to every little text even if it drives you batty. She needs to know that your not a doormat. Because whaterver you are doing its not making her feel any different by running after her is it.:)

And I guess the fact she said adored rather than adore, if it was a case of still loving me it would be adore?
I just don't know what to do and I still have feelings for her
What does the word adore man to you guys?

Have to spread the rep
Exactly when people use the I can't live without you suicide stuff it is to put a guilt trip on you to force you to stay. You can't make somebody love you and them thinking they can shows their lack of stability and the no relationship is worth being in if you are suffering by their demands no matter how passive the damands might be.
You have to live with your choices. Choose real love.
Caz is right when you respond to every txt every email, I-M or whatever it gives her false hopes and fuels her enough to keep doing it.

Adore means anything from admire to worship

False hope of what though?

I just dont know what to do and I still have feelings for her


You will always have some feeling for just about anybody that you were in a relationship with.
Daughters still often love their fathers even if they were abused or molested because they are their father.
Women often still love an ex that almost beat them to death.

Look at it sort of like from the perspective of stockholm syndrome to get a better idea

Phenomenon in which a hostage begins to identify with and grow sympathetic to his or her captor.

Stockholm Syndrome (http://www.geocities.com/kidhistory/trauma/stockhol.htm) read this link it might help you a lot.

Also quit trying to read into her words adore/adored whatever you need to look at the overall picture with her. Reading into her words is only trying to justify your lingering feelings for her when you need to be looking at everything overall and objectively for where they stand.

What am I giving her false hope of though?

If you are replying to her every time she tries to contact you then she will think she still has a foot in the door at getting you back. Even if you are telling her you don't want back in the relationship she in her mind is still thinking that as long as she can get a word in and you respond then she still has a bit of a hold on you.

Well I just had a phone call from her on holiday, to say if I text back she's not ignoring me she's gone for food, and we were talking and I knew it would cost her a fortune so I said ill leave you go now and she got all upset, and then I had this text

I feel unlovable, I feel exhausted, I feel no self worth, that's why I can't stay with you, I can't fall completely in love and forget the world when I feel as if its resting on my shoulders, I feel I must alter myself and my ways in order to be pretty or to fit in, when all I really want to do is stand out

There's more to come I just didn't get it all

So what are you going to do?
Feed into it or just basically tell her something like yeah you need to do something to get over your problems.
She KEEPS contacting you hoping that you will cave and feel sorry enough to say everything will be fine we'll get back together... blah, blah, blah,
She will never quit as long as she knows you will reply.

Yeah but why would she want to get back together she broke up with me?

Because she doesn't know what she wants or she wants to mess with your head.
Come out and ask her what is it you want from me. YOU broke up with me so why do you keep calling me!

I like the way you think, do you think she has mental problems? Or is just making an excuse to not be with me? At the end of the day she sis only 19 and can't have that many issues yes she has been bullied before and in both a physical and mentally abusive relationship but still

Maybe she broke up with you hoping you would run back to her and then when you didn't she realized the consequences and is trying to get you back.
I don't know if she has mental problems, emotional problems or what. If I read through it all again I might be able to figure it out some but she definitely seems to have problems that cause her to not know what she wants. Maybe her mom is making her feel she shouldn't be with you or something.

Threads merged


Basically my ex broke up with me but now won't leave me alone, we speak for a bit argue then she says to leave her alone so I do, then she complain I've left her alone, so anyway a few days after the last leave me alone text, she text me asking where did I buy her socks from.. I told her matalan, she said she'd go up the weekend to have a look, but matalan is the place I work and the weekend is the only two days she can guarantee I will be there, but why is she doing this? Ive tried the whole no contact thing, I ignore her and for about a week I have so many texts and missed calls its unbelieveable so it think its just easier to answer in the first place

Also she is now always popping up on Facebook, me and her are not friends on there but she's adding people she doesn't even know who I know so that I see she's talking to people, and she makes out as if she's fine and whatever else so why pester me?

She pesters you because you continue to let it happen... ignore, ignore and keep ignoring. Change your number, block her on FB. It isn't really that hard to do. She will evenutally get the message.

Stop worrying about what she is doing on FB. Don't answer any more of her terxts/calls because you owe her nothing and after all she is your ex.

She likes bothering you and knows it is getting to you--don't. Change your number if you have to and ignore her if she comes to your job.

Ive tried the whole no contact thing, I ignore her and for about a week I have so many texts and missed calls its unbelievable so it think its just easier to answer in the first place


Option 1- Do no contact for real, and ignore her

Option 2- Tell her to leave you alone

This is a monster of your own making because you allow it. When you stop allowing it then it stops.

The easiest thing to do is NOT always the best way to go.

So basically she's contacting me just so I answer?
But what I don't get is why the need for me to answer? She makes out she's fine and whatever and she broke up with me so why not let me be?

This whole scenario is now carrying on, apparently she has this new wonderful guy but is still running my name through the mud, saying she never loved me so on and so forth, the simple question is why?

Since you last posted have you stuck to NC and ignored her-if so that's probably why she s slagging you off.However don't let it bother you.Its over -dont spend time worrying about her.I hope your life s back on track.

This whole scenario is now carrying on, apparently she has this new wonderful guy but is still running my name through the mud, saying she never loved me so on and so forth, the simple question is why?

The question is why do you care? So what she has poor character, quit taking the bait and caring.

This whole scenario is now carrying on, apparently she has this new wonderful guy but is still running my name through the mud, saying she never loved me so on and so forth, the simple question is why?
Simple answer, because she knows what buttons to push. And wants you to know she is doing great without you. She is not the sweet little female you thought she was in the beginning. If she uses these kinds of tactics to get, and keep your attention. She is not a good person, and isn't worth time dwelling on her motives, unless you like drama that is.

Mature people see through this kind of person, and eventually, they reject them as not credible or insane. Her issues not yours, your just her focus for bad behavior. Ignore this attention seeking drama queen.

I know its been a long time but I still get urges to speak to her and such things.. it gets me down for a few days, is this normal? I don't actually get in contact with her but its at the forefront of everything I do