Me and my girlfriend were in a serious relationship for about three months. We are both college students with a heavy work load attending different universities. The one she attends is in my home town so whenever I had a free weekend I'd use it to drive up and see her. Long distance is tricky I know, but I've been there before so I'm used to it. She is easily worth it.

Everything was going great until she decided that things were getting too serious too fast. So we toned it down and started taking it slow. More of a casual dating thing. This worked well for a couple of weeks... but now I'm sensing that dreaded distance coming between us (probally because we're taking it so slow when we far apart like this). It's also worth noting that she is going to be working across the country for a month and a half this summer but is coming home right after that. For these reasons she believes that the long distance relationship could be too hard.

My question is this. Is there any way I could convince her that we can be in a relationship without taking things too fast or making things too serious? I'm really worried about saying anything at all as this could be one of those "make it or break it" moments. Again I know the long distance complicates things, but I really don't want to lose this one if I can help it. She's great.

Thanks for any help you can give me.

It really sounds like you both have a lot going on. I know you don't want to lose her but how about staying friends with her? It's better than a bitter breakup- and who knows when things settle down you'll be able to resume the relationship you once had.

Sarah

If I had to convince someone to be with me than I wouldn't want to be that person.

How exactly do you plan on having a relationship with someone without things being serious? It wouldn't sound like a relationship to me.

It doesn't really sound like she is ready to be in a committed relationship right now so why try to force it?

If I had to convince someone to be with me than I wouldn't want to be that person.

How exactly do you plan on having a relationship with someone without things being serious? It wouldn't sound like a relationship to me.

It doesn't really sound like she is ready to be in a committed relationship right now so why try to force it?

Agreed. However I think she may feel she has so much on her plate. She has a job across the country and goes to college. If I were her I wouldn't want to move too fast in a relationship either.

Sarah

My question is this. Is there any way I could convince her that we can be in a relationship without taking things too fast or making things too serious? I'm really worried about saying anything at all as this could be one of those "make it or break it" moments. Again I know the long distance complicates things, but I really don't wanna lose this one if I can help it. She's great.

Thanks for any help you can give me.


If both of you are committed to the relationship, then there are no "make it or break it" moments. There are probably some underlying issues and mixed messages on both sides. You should not be worried about expressing your feelings if she is as great as you say she is.