View Full Version : Why did he stop?
Psychosocial
Apr 15, 2009, 02:22 AM
I've been fooling around with the same guy for about 2 years now, we're not in a serious relationship we have just been friends with benefits, we see each other maybe twice a month, He's always been big on using condoms and I was always on birth control, there's was once or twice I asked him if we could go without a condom, But now he just won't use one, I don't know what to think about it, so I'm just asking for opinions on it, I know half of you are going to say "tell him to use one" I know this, I'm just wondering why he decided to stop using them, so any thoughts on why are helpful. Thanks a bunch
0Anonymous0
Apr 15, 2009, 02:33 AM
Ask him to use one... and just be honest about how you feel, tell him your uncomfortable doing it that way...
He probably stopped because he thinks you like it that way better...
Hope I helped.
HelpinHere
Apr 15, 2009, 07:13 AM
First, I'd like to say that a relationship like yours is very unhealthy.
Now, I'll answer your question:
There are two possibilities I would say as to why he stopped:
You initiated the absence of condoms, so he may think you prefer it that way.
Or, sex without a condom feels better to him.
Or maybe both.
You need to explain to him how you feel on this issue, and if he can't respect your wishes, then he is just using you (as most "friends with benefits" will do) and you should end it with him before something you will regret happens.
ScottGem
Apr 15, 2009, 07:50 AM
Since this was posted in the Teen forum, I'll assume you are a teen.
Sex is not a recreational sport. NO One should be engaging in sexual intercourse unless they are physically, emotionally and financially prepared to have a child. End of story.
liz28
Apr 15, 2009, 12:50 PM
Who cares about his reasons for not wearing one it is up to you to enforce he wears one. It's your body and he can't pregnant but you can.
Birth control pills doesn't 100% prevent pregnancies but using this along with a condom you have a better chance for prevening it.
Don't get me started about STD's. And please don't think or say "I know he is sleeping with only me" because you don't know that for a fact. Some diseases are curable while some aren't.
Clueless13
Apr 15, 2009, 01:09 PM
Since this was posted in the Teen forum, I'll assume you are a teen.
Sex is not a recreational sport. NO One should be engaging in sexual intercourse unless they are physically, emotionally and financially prepared to have a child. End of story.
Exactly
Psychosocial
Apr 15, 2009, 02:44 PM
Since this was posted in the Teen forum, I'll assume you are a teen.
Sex is not a recreational sport. NO One should be engaging in sexual intercourse unless they are physically, emotionally and financially prepared to have a child. End of story.
I'm 17, yes its still a child to some people, but because the adult sexuality forum won't allow anyone under 18 to post I decided why not in here, but Sex is a normal thing for me I've been doing it since I was 13, A lot of kids that age now adays are having sex, its just become more of a normal thing. And other then financially ready, I know I could have a kid right now. Except I know its so much better to wait till I'm done everything for me first
AManWithNoName
Apr 15, 2009, 03:34 PM
Here's a thought, maybe he rally likes you more than you think, and he wants to keep you, so maybe he's trying to get you pregnant, so you to can be together
AManWithNoName
Apr 15, 2009, 03:46 PM
I never said it was, hey, I'm not going to say tbhat he loves her, but there might be a chance that he does, and if you love some one, you get irrational, and youl do anything if it means that you get to be wityh the person you love
ScottGem
Apr 15, 2009, 03:56 PM
Comments on this post
Psychosocial (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/psychosocial.html) disagrees: Getting a girl pregnant is not the right way to try and keep her
First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedback/using-comments-feature-24951.html
I'm 17, yes its still a child to some people, but because the adult sexuality forum wont allow anyone under 18 to post i decided why not in here, but Sex is a normal thing for me I've been doing it since i was 13, Alot of kids that age now adays are having sex, its just become more of a normal thing. and other then financially ready, I know I could have a kid right now. except I know its so much better to wait till I'm done everything for me first
Boy are you clueless. If you have being sexually active since you were 13, then you are living on borrowed time. Like I said, sex is not a recreational sport and it should not be treated as such. It is NOT a normal thing for any teenager.
Get a real hobby or concentrate on schoolwork and your future rather risk your future for some physcial pleasure.
jandtspencer
Apr 15, 2009, 04:49 PM
Listen to scottgem, please!! You are too young to be having sex with anyone! I have 2 daughters and it makes me sick to hear you say you've been doing it since you were 13 and it's "normal" and "no big deal". I hate to say it but my daughters would be missing some body parts if they said that to me or I heard them say that! And they know it! Didn't your mother ever talk to you about sex? Neither one of my daughters are over 12 years old and I have talked to both of them about sex in one way or another. It's funny how there are soooo many oppertunities in today's society to talk about the way you should dress and what it says about a girl when she dressed provocativly, how a certain type of girl attracts a certain type of man,etc.. I will tell you the same thing I tell my girls. Sex is a quick act that may or may not be what you imagined and means nothing if you are not truly in love with the person and intending on marrying them. Also there a hundreds upon hundreds of STD'd out there now, most without a cure and some that can cause infertility and may cause you to be unable to have kids when you are finally mature encough to fall in love with and marry someone, then how disappointing would that be? You would have lost a special part of your life for something that was meaningless in the end. Don't risk a disease or unplanned pregnancy worrying why some idiotic horny gut doesn't care if he wears a condom or not. Value yourself more that he does!
Wonder-er
Apr 15, 2009, 05:01 PM
Because it feels better!
Psychosocial
Apr 15, 2009, 05:06 PM
Thanks everyone for all the opinions, jandtspencer I totally understand your point of view, You're a mother, I totally know if I was older and had a daughter my age I would hate to hear it to, But the way I think is mainly do what I want when I want, and its not always the boys that instigate it. Anyway the whole point of this was mainly just to see reason why he would stop using condoms, not a debate on how young I am or why I shouldn't be having sex. Thanks to everyone though for your comments and opinions :)
liz28
Apr 15, 2009, 05:09 PM
You should ask him why he doesn't wear one. How do you feel about him not wearing one? I just think it is always good to practice safe sex.
ScottGem
Apr 15, 2009, 05:19 PM
It is a shame that you don't have parents who care about you. That have left you with so little self-esteem, that you feel its normal to abase your body by using sex to make you feel good.
I really feel sorry for you.
CrayonScribbles
Apr 15, 2009, 05:23 PM
I've been doing it since i was 13, Alot of kids that age now adays are having sex, its just become more of a normal thing.
I am 14 years old, believe me, not a lot of teens are having sex in middle school. I know 1 13 year old who has sex and a few 15 year olds.
Anyway, are you prepared to have a baby if something were ever to happen, like in posts before, birth control is not 100% effective and condoms certainly are not either.
Getting back to your mate, tell him that it is making you uncomfortable without a condom and you would prefer he used one.
jandtspencer
Apr 16, 2009, 03:01 PM
It is a shame that you don't have parents who care about you. That have left you with so little self-esteem, that you feel its normal to abase your body by using sex to make you feel good.
I really feel sorry for you.
Amen to that! Doing what you want when you want without thinking ahead usually only gets you what you don't want when you don't want it in the end. I feel sorry for her too and would like to ring her parents necks! We don't need more teenage mothers or children from seperated/divorced parents!
keith93
Apr 23, 2009, 10:07 AM
Well what I would say is: " IF HE DONT GOT THE GLOVE YOU DONT LET HIM SHOVE"