Hi I am 23, married, I have two children and I believe my mother hates me. Well, she gets really mad at people all the time and she seems to think that whenever she is mad at someone I should be mad at that person to. Which I cannot do. Therefore, she get mad at me.

The other day she calls me up at about 10 at night yelling that I better not be letting my sister stay at my house. She claimed she was going to call the cops. I had no clue what she was talking about since my sister had never contacted me so, I was upset that she would call and yelll at me for no reason.

The next morning I get a knock on the door at about 9. It is my dad and my two sisters. They ended up staying out at camp with my dad cause apparently my mom kicked them all out. My sister got ready for work at my house and my dad took her to work. I let my other sister take a shower at my house and drove her to my moms so she could get her tooth brush. Well, she wasn't allowed inside and since I brought her to my moms I received 3 nasty voice mails from my mother saying that he hated me, never wanted to talk to me again, she also said I needed to find a babysitter for the weekend I was going to be out of town.(she was suppose to watch my kids, we had it planned for 2 months)

The next day she pissed because I was with my sister again.

I saw her on easter for about 5 minutes so my kids could get their easter baskets. She said she didn't want to talk to me again.

I didn't talk to her the next day. I thought maybe it was a good thing until I received a phone call from the yelling biotch telling me that my oldest sister was telling her stuff that I said about her.

So I talked to my oldest sister and told her to never to talk to me again.

She calls me back saying sorry that she will fix it all. I told her there is no need to fix it. I don't need them and I'm done.

I cannot take all this drama, yelling and screaming and I am about to change my phone number. Do you think I am wrong to feel this way? My mom has never been a true mother she yells and screams around my kids and that is not okay. She calls me every name in the book. I feel like it is best to not talk to her and I think maybe all my sisters should do the same maybe then she will realize how much she needs us.

My dad is a great guy and I'll settle for just my father to talk to every now and then. It breaks my heart that she is the way she is. I could never imagine treating my kids the way she treats my sisters and I. No matter how old your child is you should not treat them like garbage.

Please let me know what you think I should do. Let me know if my feelings are wrong... I have no one to talk to, I need someone's advice.

Thank you... confused and very sad..

No you are in no way feeling the wrong way.

I have a few questions: Is she menopausal, does she do drugs, does she drink a lot, is there a mental illness, is there any issue that she has not dealt with in the past that has made her negative?

Have you tried sitting down with her and talked about things like adults without the screaming or yelling? Perhaps a family intervention would work with a mediator: a councilor, a pastor, your mother's siblings or own parents, or other relatives.

I believe your mother's attitude isn't very good for the children to be around. I would have the intervention with her, if she decides to keep that attitude I would cut her out. I know it may seem cruel but sometimes cutting someone out makes them realize how much of an ugly person they have become.

AMHD is here for support,

Sarah

I think for your family and yourself, maybe it is time to send a message. Who cares if your mom is mad at you or hates you. What you need to do is not let her demand what you need to do with your life.

Your mom has no right to dictate to you who you can have in your house or who you can talk to.

Time to change your phone number time to face up to your mother. Your not going to take her yelling and screaming and you want peace.

You need to do what is best for you and your little family.

My mom is menopausal but, shouldn't she still be able to control her attitude?? She has been like this my entire life. She did have an addiction many years ago when I was little but all is fine now. Im sure she will be calling me and apologizing over the next few days. I'm sure this will all happen again though.

Jesushelper76- Of course I care if my mom hates me. I have children that love that women so I still need to be in her life no matter what. My kids are only 2 and 4, they wouldn't understand and I would not attempt to explain the situation to them. I try to explain to her that I make my own decisions and most of the time it does not get through to her.

One thing, when she is against your dad and sisters do not take them to her house or let them talk with her on your phone.

I agree with Jesushelper
But of course you do care but when someone is like this there really isn't much of anything you can do to change them. You either put up with it or you do tough love and take the chance that they will be out of your life.
You can't be friends or help somebody because they are mad at them is school girl stuff. Your mom has some emotional issues that she has never owned up to. Short of family counseling I don't think there is anything you can do because she will not accept you pointing things out. She will only take it as more reason to not want anything to do with you.
Dr Abraham Twerski founder of Gateway Rehabilitation Center says that the age someone starts drugs is the age they stop maturing emotionally. Maybe that is part of your mothers problem if she started drugs in her teens.
She is in some sort of pattern and she is trying to manipulate you and others around her to get her way. You need to find a way to set tough love boundaries and ground rules that she will not come against.

Sounds like she gets a kick out of mentally abusing people. She needs to talk to a counsellor or therapist but from the sounds of it this could be a very hard issue to bring up.
Is she on any menopause medication?

You could try changing your phone number so the verbal abuse stops, maybe when she can't yell at you any more she might come around.

Also have you tried telling her how much it is hurting your kids having all this tension and confusion around them?

She needs help before she alienates everyone maybe yaou all need to have a family meeting and tell her she needs help before she starts getting physically abusive. She may have a chemicsl imbalance or suffering from depression it might be a good idea for your father and your sisters to find somewhere else to stay for awhile