first off I got dumped and I am unsure why.
I started talking to this guy that I've known for 7 years, he previously dated one of my good friends in middle school. I've liked him for years.
before dating we were kind of friends, we didn't hang outmuch or talk much but we knew one another..
we started talking, then we started dating.. this was very random for me.
this was my first real relationship. Since I thought I knew him before, I gained trust very quickly. He talked about how he had been hurt and we needed to take it slow..
it seemed to be going good.
he broke up with me once, and immidiatly wanted me back, saying things like I'm stupid I don't know what I was thinking I like to way more than you know I'll never hurt you and we just need to hang out more, he always accused me of not being comfortable enough around him, for him to fall in love with me. After the break things seemed perfect, for a week. I seen him more, he met my parents and spend hours downloading sweet music for my iPod
I took him back to find hardly a month later he just wanted to be friends with me, he dropped me.. just like that. After spending all that time on me. 6 months of effort
leaving me feeling confused and worthless
the day after the break he showed up at my workplace, I just ignored him. I regret that.
not even a week later he was talking to another girl, in a different county. He lives in the same county as me, he hasn't been home since.. none of his friends that I'm friends with haven't spoke to him. He has my camera and says he will get it to me soon, he hasn't.
I texted him when I found out about his new person, he ends up saying "what did you expect, for us to be together forever?"
this killed me. I'm so angery but at the same time I miss him and want him back so bad.. I can't keep my mind off him. I don't know how to be happy without him, it's like I forgot what I done with myself before.. I feel so lost and depressed about life.

You can apologize and still be friends,at least that way you can still talk to each other.

I know, but were he just dropped me without saying much, I feel like I never knew him and that he possibly used me..

As I guy, when a relationship ends, I usually like to be around women and look for someone to help cope. I don't know if this is just me, but it helps.

For you, I say don't worry about him anymore. He hurt you and doesn't show signs of caring. You miss someone that does that? He isn't the same as your memories of him. I think its best to go NC and not jump at his texts and continue to ignore him as much as you can. He is not coming back and if he did it wouldn't be the same. This isn't fair to you because you deserve better!

I wanted to clarify that being around other women I meant just in company, not a rebound or cheating.

Where he dropped you he still wanted to be friends,right?

He said that he wanted to still be friends, I don't know
I'm just hurt

You can still love each other as friends,but if he doesn't want to be friends anymore it's all right,maybe you should wait a while until getting into a serious relationship.

I mean, there is a million guys out there.Instead of thinking about the good things you thought of him, you should think about some things you might have thought were annoying about him.There should be at least a few things you didn't like about him.

I've been trying to do that, it's helping to be more pissed off at him then feeling sad and feeling sorry for myself. But I have my moments. It's been like 14 days and I feel somewhat better, but I'm just depressed and all I want to do is sleep..

Then why don't you sleep?You're probably exhausted.

Thank you all for helping me, I appriciate everything

Yes I am very exhausted.
I have been sleeping, a lot.
Just work, school, sleep.
And every time I do something 'fun'
Its not fun.. I swear I'm trying to hard to get back on track. Its crazy
I think I don't how to handle it because it was my first real relationship, he took me for granted
I have hope though, that I'll feel better soon

Those first real relationships often lead to the first heartbreaks. That's so normal, and human.

Take some time for yourself, as coping with those hurt feelings takes time, and a bit of work on your part, and you will gain valuable insights into yourself, and how you deal with the realities of life.

Your post is loaded with your being given attentions which you like, and giving your trust to another, who had different feelings than you did, about this relationship.

I think next time, (Yes there will be a next time) You won't fall so fast, nor be as blind, or dependent, on another to be happy with yourself.

This is how we all learn how to deal with reality, through some very hurtful experiences, that we must deal with and heal from. So will you.

Don't worry about being friends with him, be friends with yourself first, and let time get you beyond the hurt.

Easier said than done, and it requires some work on your part, in your own behalf.

That is very helpful, thank you.
Since the break, I guess I'm now dealing with depression.
I don't think it even is completely about him anymore..

Threads merged

In my past relationship I felt played.
What are some signs that you're getting played, or used..
?

When its all you, and none of them, doing the work that a relationship needs.

When the actions don't match the words.

When your relationship consists of you doing more to make them happy and there's no reciprocation.

When spending time together only involves you doing, buying, or giving in some way.

Not getting introduced to his mates, only seeing him at night for sex even if he says he loves you its only for sex, making dates and not keeping them, on the other hand he could be showing you off like a troaphy, allot of different kinds of players some want money some want sex and other things be carful

When you are the one willing to do anything to make the relationship work.

When you feel like you are always getting the short end of the stick,you probably are.

Threads merged


as I've mentioned in my pevious question, I got dumped..
he had the new person... blah blah blah.
Anyway, I planned at trip to Orlando FL. I crossed a problem, ex boyfriend hasn't returned camera. I text him, and in a very nice way (compared to my earlier texts) I ask him again, to return it.. even saying I could come get it if he needed me to.. he replys I'll get it to you tomarrow.
the next day at work he comes by ironically I was on my break so he sits with me and another friend, and we make small talk.. he causally asks me if I still hate him, I tell him I definitely was mad, but made a gesture that I didn't really care anymore.. although I really do deep down, I'm still hurt.. or I wouldn't be doing this, obviously.. also he makes sure he tells my friends that he is definitely not dating this person that I thought he left me for.
but anyway, he sticks around my workplace, with a couple of our mutual friends and then he disappears..
I hadn't seen him in almost 15-20 days, I had mixed emotions. Happy to see him yet sad cause I missed him even though he done me wrong.
after work I randomly get a text saying again sorry it took so long to get my camera back to me, I know he is using this as an excuse to talk to me because he had already told me this when he gave it to me.. I say you are forgiving he says so are we cool now? I say yes
he says that's good because I want to be able to talk to you like tonight you know I thought that was going to be really awkward.. he says he's glad that I don't hate him and we continue to talk a little and he suddenly stops talking, I assume he fell asleep it was really late.
I wonder what he means, does he want to try this again or does he just want to be friends?

Ask him. He might know what he wants, and he might be figuring himself out.

This is why we tell you not to talk to your ex so quickly after your break up, it only fuels your confusion.

You need more time to figure things out for yourself. You are still hurting from his actions. Don't cause more pain for yourself by talking to him.

NC works by removing the pain an ex can cause through contact from your life, allowing you to even out again emotionally.

You got your camera, mission accomplished. Now keep your dignity and respect, by cutting the contact to eliminate any more confusion, false hope, and second guessing.

Enjoy your trip!!