Soo I recently Found Out that my boyfriend is not so innocent. I asked him a while back if he was still a virgin and he told me he was. I believed it of coarse. So then I asked him again and he told me that he wasn't and he just didn't want to tell me what he wasn't so I wouldn't get mad. Why is this bugging me so much?:( its weird. Any advice...

Its bugging you so much because he lied to you. Honesty is important in a relationship, and its shook you up because you have discovered that he didn't tell the truth

He probably didn't tell you the truth because he was embarrassed.

I agree with J-9. Not that it makes it OK to lie, he should have told you the truth, even though maybe he was embarrassed.

This is the guy you wanted to marry?

This is the guy you wanted to marry??

yeah this is the guy I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. =/


He probably didn't tell you the truth because he was embarrassed.

why would he be embarrassed? What's there to be ashamed of?


its bugging you so much because he lied to you. honesty is important in a relationship, and its shook you up because you have discoverd that he didnt tell the truth

OK well since he lied to me about this. Which I think is important does that mean he's not trust worthy? Can I still trust him even know he lied to me?

It's anyone's guess why he lied to you, no one on this board can help you there.

The bottom-line is he lied to you, and if you ask him why he lied he may just lie again. You have to make him realize you won't tolerate dishonesty.

I sure wouldn't. I would be suspicious of everything he has ever said.

Honestly after he lied to me about him not being so inncoent. I don't believe half the he says anymore.hmm I just don't know. So I should make him earn my trust. That seems fair...

I bet he's wishing he'd never told you the truth, that only leads to punishment.

He lied, then came clean. If you can't trust him, let him go.

Good luck.

I wish I never asked him if he was or not. Because honestly I liked his first answer a whole lot better! Thanks!!

i wish i never asked him if he was or not. becasue honestly i liked his first answer a whole lot better! thanks!!!

Ask yourself this. Does it change who he is? Is he a different person because he wasn't a virgin?

Are you really mad that he lied to you or are you mad that he didn't save himself for you?

You seem to place a lot of imortance on this, maybe that's why he lied, because he knew how you felt about being his first.

He came clean, personally I think that shows what kind of guy he is, he couldn't continue lying to you. But now you're punishing him for it.

If you can't get over it, then just cut him loose. Really, that's the only answer.

Good luck.

One thing for sure, you have enough facts to reconsider your wanting to be with him the rest of your life.

You have to question the fact that if he lied about something that's so important to you, how many other things he may be covering up.

Did you ever ask him why he lied?

Maybe he lied because he's a bad kisser.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/possible-guy-good-bed-but-suck-kissing-340335.html

Ask yourself if you're mad because he lied to you or because he's already had sex, and it wasn't with you.

It actually depends on the girl, if I need to lie I will but if I can be honest with her and I know that she will like for who I am I won't hesitate to tell her that I've already had sex (even though I'm only 16 and it's a bad thing).

Imo your fiancé was ashamed of telling you the truth, and didn't lie because he likes lying or for the sake of it.

-Xm8

Ask yourself this. Does it change who he is? Is he a different person because he wasn't a virgin?

Are you really mad that he lied to you or are you mad that he didn't save himself for you?

You seem to place alot of imortance on this, maybe that's why he lied, because he knew how you felt about being his first.

He came clean, personally I think that shows what kind of guy he is, he couldn't continue lying to you. But now you're punishing him for it.

If you can't get over it, then just cut him loose. Really, that's the only answer.

Good luck.

no this doesn't change who he is. He still is the same person. Which brings me to my question. I kind of have a secret that he doesn't know about. Am I suppost to tell him. Damn. I got some serious problems.. =/ no I'm not mad that he didn't save himself for me. I'm mad that he would lie to me about it. Hmmm... ok so the main questions know is do I tell him my secret or not.

no this doesnt change who he is. he still is the same person. which brings me to my question. i kinda have a secret that he doesnt know about. am i suppost to tell him. damn. i got some serious problems.. =/ no im not mad that he didnt save himself for me. im mad that he would lie to me about it. hmmm...ok soo the main questions know is do i tell him my secret or not.

This secret, did you tell him something else, not mention it at all, is it a lie by omission or an out right lie or just a secret?

If it's a lie, then you can't be mad at him if you lied too.

Up to you, but a relationship without trust, isn't a relationship.

I will admit... that I have lied to my previous girlfriend (one girl) that I was a virgin when I was not. My reasoning for this are the following. This is in no way shape or form a defense or a way to clear my name. I lied. It's true. I made a booboo.

1. She was a virgin who grew up in a strict family and she hadn't even had her first kiss when we started dating. We were in college, and I liked her, so I figured that if she knew I was not a virgin, I wouldn't have a shot in hell in dating her. So I lied.

2. I was a bit embarrassed, as the girl I lost my virginity to, was her hallmate, who I dated in high school... and I figured things would get quite sticky if she found out. I lied.

Overall, I knew that if I told her I was not a virgin, then she would brush me off or would not have given me a chance as to my "not-so-innocence," so I lied.

It wasn't a smart move, as I told her the truth after about a year of dating, and she was quite furious with me, mainly because I told her soon after we had slept together. Another bad move on my part.

Yes, it was stupid. It was a mistake. I regret lying to her about it.

To add to this, the girl and I dated for two more years afterwards. She forgave me, and never held it over my head (I really appreciate her for this).

Since there hasn't been any innovations in time machines, you have two choices: forgive and move on, or drop him.

You have to question the fact that if he lied about something that's so important to you, how many other things he may be covering up.

Did you ever ask him why he lied??

No I never asked him why he did. I don't want to start a fight or anything.

My boyfriend of 2 years never told he wasn't a virgin until I had to find out on my own. It was actually heartbreaking. There were rumors going around in school saying that he had sex with his girlfriend of almost 2 years that he first started dating in the 8th grade but once they got to high school they broke it off. Then they were just talking and then hooked up. Then that's when I met my boyfriend. His ex never really liked me and I didn't really care but I always wondered why. I was a virgin to begin with and I was trying to find someone who was just as equal as me, that's all I wanted. My boyfriend is the perfect guy, sweet, understanding, loyal, the perfect 10. So when he asked me if I was a virgin I said yeah, and he replied yes too. Thinking he was a virgin too, I gave him my virginity until two years later I find out he wasn't. He lost it to his ex that he wasn't dating at the time and I had to find out through her. I was tired of the rumors so I just straight up asked her. Then when I tried to confront him about it, he tried to lie, to cover it up. But soon he was caught way too deep in his lie to lie his way out. It hurt, really bad, at the moment I was in shock. For 2 years I believed this guy was perfect and he'd be the one. Eventually through weeks of embarrassment, my whole entire school finding out, people feeling bad for me, arguments between me and him, I took him back, thinking I forgave him. But the real problem was that I didn't forgive myself. I basically went against what I wanted and here I am almost 3 years into the relationship acting like I'm okay. But it still hurts. They say the past is the past, but people don't understand when I say I can't let go. He thought he would lose me if he told me the truth earlier, and yes he would've. But if he did, I could've found someone else. I say I love him no matter what, but I can't decide if I'm lying to myself. He always talks about our future, but I know I can't marry a guy that lied to me about something so precious when he knew how important it was for me. I ask myself why I'm in this relationship, but I'm just scared. I've always been a good girlfriend to him in the beginning, always put himself before me, but after the incident everything changed. I don't want to say everything cause it'd be sooo long, so my advice is leave the guy. Find someone who won't lie about their past to you, even if you think you love this guy, don't make the stupid mistake I did.