Hello,

First of all please to those who read this and respond do not sterotype me as a "slut" or "ho" for what I am about to discolse in this question. I am a 25 year old woman with a 3 year old daughter. I have been separated from my husband for nearly two years because of his irresponsability with pornography/infeidelity and poor spending habits. I reside in Indiana and he moved back home with his parents in North Carolina. Last June 2008 we had our first hearing in court and the judge granted him supervised visitation for a while to see if he would comply with the terms and ordered that child support be paid. I was asked if it were all right for our daughter to spend a couple of hours with her dad and grandfather at their hotel to swim and have a bite to eat. I did not want to do this since I never left my daughter with anyone other than my mother for short periods. I complied and took her there. Her grandfather was supposed to supervise this visitation, and I found out that he did not while she and her father were in the hotel pool, no one else was in the pool either. When I picked her up and took her home, while she was in the bath tub she started screaming and crying saying that her daddy touched her privates and he hurt her. He had already had left the state. So I contacted child services and she met with a woman to talk to her about this ( my daighter at the time was only 2 and a 1/2.) She told the lady what happened and the taped this interview. I was not allowed in. They said they would sent the evidence to a detective and get back with me. When I spoke with the detective a few weeks later he said he wanted to question her father when he came to visit her. Well this last November he said he was going to visit, (The first visit since the court date) when I told the detective of his travel arrangements he told me that he would be unable to question him so he was going to call him instead. When the detective left a message on my husbands voicemail about the incident, he then decided not to visit at all. My lawyer said to protect my daughter the judge would need to order a lawyer to act in her spot since she was so little, so we just got that going. I have been seeing a man from my church for almost a year and I have known his family for almost 10 years, he loves my daughter and wants to someday adopt her. Well, my husbands lawyer has asked to see my medical records and my daughters, I had last November a misscarriage and just found out recently that I am 6 weeks pregnant. I am engaged to the man of the unborn child. I am not the kind of person to sleep around unlike my husband. I have only been with my first husband when I was young and married at 18, my current husband, and with the many who I am engaged to. My daughter is terrified of her dad, she does not even like talking to him on the phone! I have not told my lawyer of my pregnancies or my fiancé. I am worried that the judge will take my 3 year old daughter away and give her to her molesting father! I am so terrified of losing her, and I just don't know where else to turn. Please anyone who can help let me know. I know that many people date while divorcing, and since my divorce had been taking so long I did not see the harm. ( my husband liked to call me up and tell me of the women he was dating) I do not know how to tell my lawyer, I feel like he has worked so hard for me this far that I will dissappoint him, I also do not have a lot of money, I am an unemployed student. Please what can I do to make sure my daughter is safe! That is all I care about, keeping her safe!

I will start the ball roling here, my dear, and then you will obviously hear from others regarding this problem. You certainly have a lot on your plate right now.

First of all, it is already documented that there was a molestation because you contacted child services and although there doesn't seem to be a lot come out of it, I don't think you will have to worry about losing your daughter to your ex.

Your husband's lawyer has to no right to see your medical records, or your daughters. In any event, I don't think your doctor would release them to a third party anyway.

Now, next, you are pregnant with a child by your fiancé. I see nothing wrong with that. I don't know why you should not tell your lawyer, divulge anything that may help you and I don't see how being pregnant will harm anything.

ms. tick

You should absolutely tell your lawyer about the pregnancy, like RIGHT NOW. In many states, your HUSBAND (not fiancee) will be the legal father of your unborn child. This is called "presumption of paternity" and may make getting legal rights for your fiancée *to his own child* problematic.

I don't mean to be alarmist, but this is something you need to tell your lawyer sooner than later so he can handle the legal aspects of it when your child is born.