Aparein925
Apr 9, 2009, 12:52 AM
I need help with my faith. Currently I am 24 going on 25 and I am having trouble believing anymore. When I was little I was always in the church. Every Sunday... church. Every special program... church. I am a virgin today, waiting to get married because of the church. I believed in the Word and tried my best to follow it daily. I use to pray every morning and every night for God to protect and watch over me and everyone else.
I remember when I was very young, I prayed to God one night when I was really sick. It was the first time I seriously prayed for anything involving myself. I had a terrible sore throat, head was banging, and I could not go to sleep because I was in so much pain. I didn't know what was wrong with me and I knew it just wasn't a sore throat. I couldn't swallow anything... ANYTHING! I was in so much pain. I could hardly inhale because of the pain. I hadn't eaten for days. One night I laid in my bed and I prayed to God and Jesus over and over again. I prayed that He would make me feel better and protect me and cover me. Literally an hour or two later, no medication... no home therapies... NOTHING!. NOTHING!. I just knew that my throat was better. I swallowed and my throat was better. I even ate that night and my throat didn't even hurt anymore. It blew my mind that an hour before I couldn't even inhale or fall asleep because of the pain, and the pain was gone.
Anytime my faith was tested I remembered this story. When people would say God is not real I remembered that night when the most amazing thing happened to me. I have seen people who had cancer and prayed and their cancer disappeared. I have prayed for other good things to happen and they have. I have never been as happy in my life when I was fully involved with God. Never felt more protected, more loved, more everything. It just felt like this light was around me and I had His angels protecting me.
Then I went to college. I got lost. Its not that I did anything... I didn't. I didn't drink. I didn't smoke. I didn't hang around with the wrong people. I didn't do drugs. I kept to my school work, still prayed. All my friends were Christians and believed in God. I know that I got caught up in my school work and God, who was first in my life, became second. I didn't go to church like I should have. I didn't read my bible like I should have. These things are probably the root of my problems... obviously :o.
When I went to college, my faith was tested. It wasn't tested because of the different views or religions that people were, but my major. I majored in Biological Sciences where faith is not an option. Either it is or it isn't. Everything is tested and scientifically proven. Some things I learned actually improved my faith and some things sent me right back to questioning everything. This was the biggest test of my faith for 4 years. Not only the science "stuff" tested my faith, but overall observation.
I saw God leave peoples lives. I saw preachers and ministers and deacons , etc... sin on Saturday, preach on Sunday, and sin again on Monday. I would say I lost faith in the people of the church. I don't see why I should go to church when the person preaching or the people leading the church shouldn't be able to get through the front door. I'm not referencing my home church (not saying that they didn't have their issues), but every other church I went to.
I saw all these specials on the Discovery channel and the History channel and National Geographic of books that were banned from the bible and all these different things that contrasted with what was being preached and taught. I became confused. I have read through the bible and attempted to read the entire book so I can make up my own mind. There are so many things in the bible that people twist to make it better for them. To me, there should only be one way to interpret the Word and that is the right way.
I can say the number one thing that really made me question my faith in Christianity and religion overall was Judgment. Not of Judgment day, I read the entire book of Revelation and it didn't frighten me at all. Judgment of others. I don't understand why there is so much judgment of different people. I saw church people judging everybody and sometimes its just not fair. Not everybody can help their situation and its not any ones place to judge them. If anything you can help them. If someone was not living a Christian life they were shunned and got an automatic ticket to hell. They were the most evil thing alive.
If a person is genuinely good, has the biggest heart ever, is it fair to say that if they don't believe like we do that they will go to Hell? There are great people everywhere. They have the biggest hearts, they are honest, always willing to help others, they would give you their last penny to help you even if that meant detriment to themselves, and the one thing that is considered "wrong" is that they don't believe in God or Jesus, so they will "suffer eternal damnation". It doesn't sound fair to me. If you are good, you are good. If you are evil, you are evil. But in religion... you are good AND believe in God or you will go to the pits of hell. Good is Good to me, regardless of religion. I got tired of judging people or saying who was good or who wasn't. I got tired of hearing who was good and who wasn't.
My faith is tested because this is apart of my religion. I have to believe that although someone is good, because they don't believe in God and Jesus, they are not. I have read Matthew and I know that God is the only one who can judge, but it doesn't seem like everyone is reading the bible that I am reading. After all the research, it doesn't seem like anyone knows what God's plan is. That is my problem.
Sorry this is so long, but this is almost seven years of faith issues in my heart that I needed to get out. I just need to hear about how some of you kept and continue to keep your faith strong with all the opposition. Help. :(
I remember when I was very young, I prayed to God one night when I was really sick. It was the first time I seriously prayed for anything involving myself. I had a terrible sore throat, head was banging, and I could not go to sleep because I was in so much pain. I didn't know what was wrong with me and I knew it just wasn't a sore throat. I couldn't swallow anything... ANYTHING! I was in so much pain. I could hardly inhale because of the pain. I hadn't eaten for days. One night I laid in my bed and I prayed to God and Jesus over and over again. I prayed that He would make me feel better and protect me and cover me. Literally an hour or two later, no medication... no home therapies... NOTHING!. NOTHING!. I just knew that my throat was better. I swallowed and my throat was better. I even ate that night and my throat didn't even hurt anymore. It blew my mind that an hour before I couldn't even inhale or fall asleep because of the pain, and the pain was gone.
Anytime my faith was tested I remembered this story. When people would say God is not real I remembered that night when the most amazing thing happened to me. I have seen people who had cancer and prayed and their cancer disappeared. I have prayed for other good things to happen and they have. I have never been as happy in my life when I was fully involved with God. Never felt more protected, more loved, more everything. It just felt like this light was around me and I had His angels protecting me.
Then I went to college. I got lost. Its not that I did anything... I didn't. I didn't drink. I didn't smoke. I didn't hang around with the wrong people. I didn't do drugs. I kept to my school work, still prayed. All my friends were Christians and believed in God. I know that I got caught up in my school work and God, who was first in my life, became second. I didn't go to church like I should have. I didn't read my bible like I should have. These things are probably the root of my problems... obviously :o.
When I went to college, my faith was tested. It wasn't tested because of the different views or religions that people were, but my major. I majored in Biological Sciences where faith is not an option. Either it is or it isn't. Everything is tested and scientifically proven. Some things I learned actually improved my faith and some things sent me right back to questioning everything. This was the biggest test of my faith for 4 years. Not only the science "stuff" tested my faith, but overall observation.
I saw God leave peoples lives. I saw preachers and ministers and deacons , etc... sin on Saturday, preach on Sunday, and sin again on Monday. I would say I lost faith in the people of the church. I don't see why I should go to church when the person preaching or the people leading the church shouldn't be able to get through the front door. I'm not referencing my home church (not saying that they didn't have their issues), but every other church I went to.
I saw all these specials on the Discovery channel and the History channel and National Geographic of books that were banned from the bible and all these different things that contrasted with what was being preached and taught. I became confused. I have read through the bible and attempted to read the entire book so I can make up my own mind. There are so many things in the bible that people twist to make it better for them. To me, there should only be one way to interpret the Word and that is the right way.
I can say the number one thing that really made me question my faith in Christianity and religion overall was Judgment. Not of Judgment day, I read the entire book of Revelation and it didn't frighten me at all. Judgment of others. I don't understand why there is so much judgment of different people. I saw church people judging everybody and sometimes its just not fair. Not everybody can help their situation and its not any ones place to judge them. If anything you can help them. If someone was not living a Christian life they were shunned and got an automatic ticket to hell. They were the most evil thing alive.
If a person is genuinely good, has the biggest heart ever, is it fair to say that if they don't believe like we do that they will go to Hell? There are great people everywhere. They have the biggest hearts, they are honest, always willing to help others, they would give you their last penny to help you even if that meant detriment to themselves, and the one thing that is considered "wrong" is that they don't believe in God or Jesus, so they will "suffer eternal damnation". It doesn't sound fair to me. If you are good, you are good. If you are evil, you are evil. But in religion... you are good AND believe in God or you will go to the pits of hell. Good is Good to me, regardless of religion. I got tired of judging people or saying who was good or who wasn't. I got tired of hearing who was good and who wasn't.
My faith is tested because this is apart of my religion. I have to believe that although someone is good, because they don't believe in God and Jesus, they are not. I have read Matthew and I know that God is the only one who can judge, but it doesn't seem like everyone is reading the bible that I am reading. After all the research, it doesn't seem like anyone knows what God's plan is. That is my problem.
Sorry this is so long, but this is almost seven years of faith issues in my heart that I needed to get out. I just need to hear about how some of you kept and continue to keep your faith strong with all the opposition. Help. :(