What's the issue when a man can only get aroused by oral sex. Even that takes a long time. Then when its time for sex, its always doggie style and really fast and hard. I don't get it. He acts like he wants it all the time and is always taking it out, but won't have sex. Will just take it out through his zipper hole and want oral. Oh not to mention sex toys are out of the question. His comment on that is "what if I like it better"

Sounds like he is just no fun, has his own fetish that he wants his way or not way.

And sounds like if you want it different you leave him for someone else

He sounds like a selfish lover.
I would give him a chance and explain your needs and desires and if he still persists,I would reconsider my commitment to him.
Have a discussion about why it is his way or no way and please let him know you are not satisfied.

Something is Wrong. We can't really tell you what it is. He either just is really selfish, or has self image problems, or something. Might not be the best person to be with...

I'm going to agree to artlady's selfish lover comment. If someone tried that one on me it'd be over. He isn't willing to cater to your needs. Shame, shame.

Maybe it's for you to stop catering to his needs until he starts catering to yours.If you already had a discussion with him regarding this issue and nothing change, most likely it never will. He's going continue to have the "I want it when I want it and how I want it" attitude.

What about if you like it more??

Sorry, but the way he sounds its not a case of IF, it's a case of YOU WILL like it more THAN HIM-what an A$$hole.

Sorry but my "DUMP HIM" alarm has gone off.

Lose the loser.

I do now realize he is selfish and realized it a long time ago. But here is the sad thing. I saw him one day and he was ready to just take it out freely like he always does and expects me to do my thing. I said no and I stood by it. He was so annoyed. So then after refusing for some time he tried his moves on me and again I said no. Well after about an hour of refusing either way instantly I was "hiding something" give me a break!! The one time I refuse either way and I was hiding something and he wanted to see. What the hell could I be hiding in my pants for crying out loud!!

What the hell could I be hiding in my pants for crying out loud!!!!

I not going even answer that question, hehe.

Liz that just made me crack right up out loud! After I wrote that I thought it might not sound good. Lol Thanks for the laugh.

I saw him one day and he was ready to just take it out freely like he always does and expects me to do my thing. I said no and I stood by it. He was so annoyed. So then after refusing for some time he tried his moves on me and again I said no.
Ha! Oh man I used to do that to my ex (which is partially why she's an ex)!

"I swear every time I come over, the second I walk in the door you have your pants down and are ready to go."

Yeah you can't let him take control 'cause it'll happen, again, and again, and again no matter what promises he makes you. I was so used to getting my way, that when she'd refuse I'd get angry. I was spoiled. Say "no" more often, don't spoil him.

I guess if he weren't so rude about it maybe. Like he just unzips and pulls it through the hole and stands there. Like "here it is come and get it" Then maybe if he could get it up for some good sex. Or maybe if the sex was good... but I have been turning him away and happy with myself for it. I just feel if I stop doing it he will turn away and at this point I don't care. Ok for real, he will stand there and shake it around like shaking a stick at a dog.

I guess if he werent so rude about it maybe. Like he just unzips and pulls it through the hole and stands there. Like "here it is come and get it" Then maybe if he could get it up for some good sex. Or maybe if the sex was good...........but I have been turning him away and happy with myself for it. I just feel if I stop doing it he will turn away and at this point I dont care. Ok for real, he will stand there and shake it around like shaking a stick at a dog.
Okay... you need to re-read this. You don't sound happy at all. The erection is not the issue here.

Well it is the issue really. I spend hours doing oral and then when the time comes its useless. I guess I am venting about it like I am because in a sense he acts as if he has this wonderful package and I should come running at it when he wants me to. When in my mind, its useless to me. If that makes sense. I hate that he only wants oral, when he can't get it up anyway. So why the big bother with it.

Yeah I was trying to work in a Big Lebowski quote that was not well-received.

Well back to the topic, he probably doesn't want sex, 'cause like you already said, he sucks at it. He probably knows he sucks at it so he gets nervous and goes completely flaccid.

Men!