View Full Version : Should I just keep whaiting for him to come around?
ladybug1121
Apr 5, 2009, 07:19 PM
I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. We spend a lot of time together, a lot of the time is spent watching movies or playing video games or just hang out and talk our communication is great. But there is one thing that I can't seem to get off my mind and we have talked about it only once and it's that he is almost never in the mood to have sex, now I know he is stressed about money, work and whatever else and maybe that's it now when we had the conversation about a month ago, I asked him if its me thinking maybe he just doesn't like to have sex with me and he said no and that he's just not always in the mood so I asked if their was something I can do to help get him in the mood because Ive got to tell you guys I enjoy sex and it has been about 3weeks since we had sex last and I don't know what to do. I have been We will play around, like tickle each other when we are board with the movie that we are watching and while we are playing around, laughing having a good time and once in a while when we are have some tickle fun, I will move my hand to see if by slowly moving it towards him down below will get him in the mood but when my hand does start to touch him, he will move my hand. I don't understand, I don't know if he is stressed and that keeps him from getting aroused or if his testosterone is low. I have know idea, we have a wonderful, close and fun relationship its just lacking sex. I've been just waiting for him to make a move because when I try he just pushes me away. I always thought the first few months of being with someone theirs a lot more sex involved, he just doesn't ever seem like he's ever in the mood. I was under the impression that men almost always ready for sex. If anyone has any suggestions, comments or thoughts I would love to hear m :)
bronzebabe
Apr 5, 2009, 07:24 PM
Maybe he has a low testosterone level. But, if sex is going to be important to you, you need to tell him how you feel. That it Is important to you. That you want more. If he doesn't care, you need to decide what you need to do for you.
liz28
Apr 5, 2009, 07:40 PM
You wrote "he is almost never in the mood to have sex, now I know he is stressed about money, work and whatever else", this is the problem.
Stress is interferring with your life but I guess he doesn't know sex can sometimes be a stress reliever. Well at least to me.
Okay with all seriousness stress can affect sexual a person performance and rob them of their libido. Usual when someone is feeling stress, sex may not be at the top of their to-do list. However I do see he is engaging in other activities with you. I provided a link for you to check out when you have the chance. www.stress.about.com/od/sex/a/low_libido.htm - 30k
He isn't in the mood because he has other things on his mind. Has he lost his job due to the economy crisis? If so, that can be a downer.
Another talk might be in order along with a lot of patience and understanding.
Whatever you do, don't think you are the reason behind him not having sex with you but you aren't the reason.
letmetellu
Apr 5, 2009, 07:42 PM
He may be the best person in the world and would make a very good husband BUT a marriage without sex would be a bad fate.
Synnen
Apr 6, 2009, 03:44 AM
You've only been dating for 5 months.
How about TALKING about it, seriously, with no distractions? Let him know that it's important to you, and that you need to have communication about it in order for the relationship to work.
There are many medical reasons for a low libido, and stress can certainly make a sex drive disappear.
All of that being said, I'm going to say the same thing I always do: If you cannot TALK to each other about sex, openly and honestly, then you shouldn't be HAVING sex with each other.