Hello.. ive been living next door to brendan for over a year,lately we have been spending a lot of time together,the relationship has changed from neighbours,to friends to something else.. we have never kissed.. I fancy him.. I know he fancies me.. why the hell won't he ask me out?

I can't ask him.. im old school.. HE should ask ME!

Should I just let it go and move on?

All because your old school your going let a chance him slip through your fingers?

This is a new day and age so instead of waiting for him to make his move, you should step up to the plate and make one.

Swallow your pride and asked. It isn't hard!

I was the one that asked my fiancé out and I am pretty sure that if I didn't, we wouldn't be together let alone be getting married.

In closing take a change and ask him.

Yeah you really should take a chance and ask him out, like Liz said this is a new day and age.

If you sit around and wait for him to make a move, you might very well loose the chance of a date all together. If we don't venture... we will never gain...

Best of luck to you! Tell us how it goes once you've asked him out ;)

Roxy

I don't think it's "risky" to ask a guy out, or simply let him know you're open to him asking you out. It's not risky AT ALL based on the sideways logic in the original question, noted here:

i can't ask him.. im old school.. HE should ask ME!

should i just let it go and move on?

Based on this, she would rather move on than ask him out, meaning if he never does, they won't ever even try.

So, what is "risked" if she gets over the pointless inhibition and just tells him? If he passes, she hasn't lost anything, since she planned to "move on" anyway.

My dad always said, "If you don't ask, then the answers already 'no', so ask anyway. If they say 'no', nothing's changed."

Think about it.

Shyness is cute when you're dating someone, it is something to be overcome and ignored when you're meeting and initiating stuff with others. In that case, shyness causes you to lose out, don't let that happen.

Either ask him out, or at least let him know you're looking forward to doing something with him some time, indicating you're waiting for him to ask you out.

You may be old school, but what if he is NEW school? How old are you??

Honestly, I would be wary of getting anything started with someone that close. I imagine he has similar concerns.

Either take a risk, or leave it alone.

Brendan and redhed35 up a tree.k.i.s.s.i.n.g!

I bit the bullet and asked the lovely brendan out..

He said yes.. thanks for the push guys!

brendan and redhed35 up a tree.k.i.s.s.i.n.g!

i bit the bullet and asked the lovely brendan out..

he said yes.. thanks for the push guys!

Good thing I continued reading all the posts and saw that you went for it.

I was wondering how many great guys were slipped away because girls used the old school approach. How badly would you feel if another girl asked him out first? Luckly we don't have to worry about that now!

Good for you for not letting him slip away!

Good for you, Redhead! Keep us posted!

Congrats Red, keep us posted on how things go! We love to hear good stories, most on here are quite dreadful.

Hey! Good for you ;) (Ps. ;) I'm glad you bit the bullet ; you ventured, you gained. :) I'm happy for you!

Phew! Thought id lost my mojo there..

Heads up.. brendan just sent a text..

I supposed to be on a date! But I'm here all dolled up and no brendan.

What the hell?

He was supposed to pick me up at 9,its 20 to 10,where the hell is he??

Did you call him? I hope everything works out and you don' get stood up by a neighbor. And I hope he has a reasonable excuse.

Don't give up, men are never on time.

::hiding, hiding, hiding:: The guys are going to smack me for that. ;)

Brendan called,we went out,his excuse was valid and reasonable,although I was 'officially 'pissed off.

He was the perfect gentleman,I have a pain in my jaws from laughing,he walked me to the door and kissed (so so tender) we said goodnight and have plans for the cinema on Tuesday.

Thank you all for giving me the push to ask him out.

brendan called,we went out,his excuse was valid and reasonable,although i was 'officially 'pissed off.

he was the perfect gentleman,i have a pain in my jaws from laughing,he walked me to the door and kissed (so so tender) we said goodnight and have plans for the cinema on tuesday.

thankyou all for giving me the push to ask him out.

Awww, that sounds great.

Oh to be in the wonderful beginning of a relationship, such a wonderful time.

Enjoy every minute, have fun, be yourself and keep us posted. I'm living vicariously through you now! ;)

Everything going well with brendan and me,no disasters to report!

Its his birthday tomorrow,and since we have been going out a very short time,what would be a suitable gift?

He likes fishing, dogs,music,books and is redorating his house.. but I don't want to get something that screams.. 'brendan I want to have your babies'!

Ideas so far have been,a t-shirt.
A c.d.

Hi Red,

How about you taking him out to dinner, and buying him something for his house that is personal to him? What room(s) is he redecorating? And what are his tastes? Perhaps dinner and a gift certificate to a home store?

Hey starlite,dinner sounds good,he was bringing me out anyway,last Sunday we went furniture shopping for his lounge,I did think about a picture he liked but he thought was too expensive..

I do have a day voucher for an adventure centre.. hmmm.. that might be fun.. take him off for the day,what do you think?

Redhead that sounds like a good plan to me. If you get him a car get a funny one. Hallmark got some good ones.

I am glad things are working out.

hey starlite,dinner sounds good,he was bringing me out anyway,last sunday we went furniture shopping for his lounge,i did think about a picture he liked but he thought was too expensive..

i do have a day voucher for an adventure centre..hmmm..that might be fun..take him off for the day,what do you think?

Hi Red,

That sounds great! Get him out and about for a day of fun and a nice dinner afterwards. A wonderful birthday gift!

Thanks guys,booked it for Sunday,and checked brendan was free,didn't say where we were going..
If only it was all this easy!

Just had my first argument with brendan.no,not argument,cause I was the only one who spoke.
Before we started going out brendan made a point (and me) of spending sat night together,but for the last 3 sat he has spent it with his friends,now,I understand that these were pre arranged before we starting dating,a 40th party, a stag,I understood.but tonight he knew my children would be gone for the night early in the week,but on wed he said there was a stag on sat night,and would I mind he if went,I said I didn't mind.. but I did..
I wanted him to want to spend the evening with me! And even up to this evening he was unsure if he was going to go or not,so I spent a lovely afternoon pampering myself,thinking that he would want to do something with me.
Wrong.
So I went in at 830,and let rip.I didn't give him a chance to speak,and then I left.
So here I am,sat night,date night! With no children,nice hair,and shaved legs.
As the song goes'did I shave my legs for this'

Redhead you should have been honest with him when he asked you "if you mind that he made other plans" instead of lying.

It was wrong of you to march in and agrue with him.

You could have handle the situation differently and boy do I know some ways.

In the future be more honest instead of telling someone what you think they want to hear.

Didn't you read the book "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus?"

Yeah,I should have let him speak.I was just so bloody mad at him. I left it too late to make plans with my friends,I guess I was just looking forward to spending the night tucked up on the couch making out laughing and eating pizza.. brendan is different then any other man I ever gone out with,the others lavished attention on me and it suffocated me,one of the things I like about brendan is he has a full life without me,but he could up it just a notch.. am I expecting too much,or have I just been spoiled by other men?

I don't think your spoiled or expecting too much. You just expected him to spend time with you this night but you should have express that him.

I don't even think you should've been upset with him because again you told him you didn't mind.

It seems like the honeymoon phrase might be over but the fun isn't. Plan dates in advance and while he is hanging out you do the same.

I over reacted.. dam.
Guess ill see how he reacts now.
Sorry is so hard to say,but I feel right!
How about sorry I over reacted but I meant what I said?

Thought id give an update on me and brendan..
Things could not be better.. one or two hic ups but over all things are going good.
Its been 3 and a half months,. getting to know each other,dating,laughing and just having fun..
The conversations are amusing,heavy,and just plain old communication!
Today he is gone off to an ACDC concert,not my thing by a long shot,but then again I went to see tracy chapman last week,not his thing by a long shot!
We both had our own lives before we met and still continue seeing our friends and still have our own interests,some of our interests merge and we meet in the middle.
We listen to each other,and I mean listen,and we share.
We both like our own time alone and respect each others lives and choices..
Brendan has become my best friend,he's the one I call when good or crappy things happen,and vice versa.
Yep,folks,I'm in love.
We both have had our share of broken hearts,and relied on another person to make us happy.
We both learned before we met that the only person that can make you truly happy is yourself,having self respect,self esteem and a full life on your own can bring fulfillment.

I just wanted to post this,to say a big thanks to all that gave me the push to ask brendan out.

One final word to all those broken hearted out there,the light at the end of the tunnel is not the man/woman that you think will make you happy,but fact the light at the end of the tunnel is 'YOU'.

Bravo!

I can''t count the number of times I waited looking forward to going out when my significant other came home and they left me to go do their own thing. I finally gave up on that one.
You have to be honest and up front because saying one thing and meaning the other means you can not go lashing out for what they then choose.
You sound like you have a great relationship so say what you mean, mean what you say and pick your battles. If it wasn't something rotten where he came off as a jerk then it is better to just patch things up without arguing and move on together.

At the risk of getting my head bitten of by you. You don't sound as though you are a cheerful person. Maybe he sees other qualities in you that he may not be interested in.
This can keep wise men away with a passion, if they know what is good for them.

321543,I was merely posting an update,but thank you for those insights ,just one question?
Maybe brendan sees other qualities in me that I may not be interested in?


Hmmm,you must know me well..