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View Full Version : Should I tell him?


ynyra
Sep 8, 2006, 03:19 PM
I have a dilema. While I was expecting I told the father of my child that he was not in fact the father and The baby was due earlier. I found out he had been lying about who he was when I got a call from prison as he was basically an immigrant and it a part of the country he shouldn't have been.
He tried to register himself to my address but without my knowledge. Then turned up on my doorstep late at night with nowhere to stay. He then had to go back to where he should have been and two months later I had only spoken to him on the phone. He said he would come to visit but cancelled at the last minute. I made the decision then that I could not rely on him and both myself and the child would be better off without him so set up the lie that he was not the father. I told him earlier to give him a chance to come and find us. I had to move around this time so he can no longer find us. We have been in contact by email but he does not know where we are or much about the baby. He has since left the country and been sent home. He says he misses me and would like to meet us when he comes back. I feel enormous guilt over my lies but am scared that he wants us only so he can live in this country. I wonder if I should meet him and maybe tell him about his child. I wonder if he really is a poor guy who has had a really unfortunate set of circumstances or the bad penny appears to be. Should I meet with him again?

Fr_Chuck
Sep 8, 2006, 04:50 PM
A man has a right to know if he is the father or not.

CaptainForest
Sep 8, 2006, 06:26 PM
He is in the wrong country? He has been sent home.

Is he suspected of being a terrorist?

If you honestly think he is just trying to use you and is not a good person, then do NOT tell him about the baby.

But then I have to wonder if he is so bad, why are you still in contact with him?

cromptondot
Sep 8, 2006, 09:28 PM
Why would you lie to him in the first place? You got a call from prison? You did not Know who he really is? Go very slow with this guy

AKaeTrue
Sep 10, 2006, 09:26 PM
Safety for yourself and for your child must be a genuine concern you're having, otherwise you would not have moved around so that he could not find you. If you are not 100% sure that he is safe and harmless then go with your gut feeling and keep him out of the picture.

talaniman
Sep 16, 2006, 06:40 AM
A man has a right to know if he is a father, so decide if he is a MAN or not. If not protect your child and yourself. There is no guilt in that.