OK... I don't even know where to begin... her name is pamela. To be completely honest... I think I'm in love, I hate admitting it because sometimes I dislike feeling vulnerable... but that's how it turned out and I can't help it. Pamela and I had something going on once... or so I thought. Let me tell you about my first attempt to have a relationship with her. Please give me advice, I don't know where my head is at!

I asked her out on a date and she agreed, I thought it would be cute to have her over and cook dinner for her and take her out to a movie. We ended up cooking together (chicken parmesan) and we missed the movie, so we ended up watching a movie in my room. We laid on my couch and watched the Godfather part II lol I know random movie but that's what we watched. So first off were sitting on the couch kind of awkwardly and I eventually make us comfortable and were laying down... I have my left arm around her and my right arm on her stomach (her hand is on mine btw). She says she wants a blanket so she moves to my bed... I follow her and we lay on the bed... I watch the movie... she puts a pillow on my stomach and gently places her head on the pillow. We finish the movie and I take her home... no kiss when I walk her to her door :(
Later that week I talk to her about the date... she tells me she feels incapable of loving someone and that she could never give me what I wanted from her. She said that she can't express sympathy for me and that she will never care for me, that that was just the way she was. So we ended up not being in a relationship (me being rejected) and we stopped talking for like a week or two but then things started patching up.

Now... 4 or 5 months later... I still can't get her out of my head. Her smile, her smell, her hair, her lips, her eyes, the way she laughs its all stuck in my head. We went to the gym about a week ago and ran together... today SHE CALLED ME and asked if I wanted to work out... this work out took place from 6 30 till 10 30... we went rock climbing, we played basketball ( I taught her a few things lol ), we went running, we lifted some weights, we played some volleyball, we went to the sauna, the jacuzzi, and did some laps in the pool. It was a dream come true :) OH! By the way in the jacuzzi there are holes that push out the water... so she was like "jonathan lol touch this hole theres cold water coming out of it ...its so wierd" and I'm looking for it and she says "no no lol right here....where my hand is" at that moment I don't know what to do... im scared of screwing this up again... getting rejected... I don't want it to happen again. On the way home there's non stop talking, laughing, and smiling. Before I get out of the car and go home we go to the forest and smoke a black and mild... ( I know gross... we both really don't smoke anymore it was just for the hell of it) so were in the woods smoking this black and mild and we talk about sex, drugs, life, college, and funny experiences. Sadly the day had to come to an end and she had to leave.

she constantly gives me looks... ill catch her in the middle of spanish class staring at me... I can make her smile as easy as it is to tie your shoe... I really don't know what to do... I just don't want to get hurt again... if anyone responds to this... ill accept anything you have to say... I just want someone else's opinion... please help me lol

ok....i dont even know where to begin... her name is pamela. to be completely honest...i think im in love, i hate admitting it because sometimes i dislike feeling vulnerable...but thats how it turned out and i can't help it. Pamela and I had something going on once...or so i thought. Let me tell you about my first attempt to have a relationship with her. Please give me advice, i dont know where my head is at!

I asked her out on a date and she agreed, i thought it would be cute to have her over and cook dinner for her and take her out to a movie. We ended up cooking together (chicken parmesan) and we missed the movie, so we ended up watching a movie in my room. We layed on my couch and watched the Godfather part II lol i know random movie but thats what we watched. So first off were sitting on the couch kind of awkwardly and i eventually make us comfortable and were laying down...i have my left arm around her and my right arm on her stomach (her hand is on mine btw). She says she wants a blanket so she moves to my bed...i follow her and we lay on the bed...I watch the movie...she puts a pillow on my stomach and gently places her head on the pillow. We finish the movie and I take her home......no kiss when i walk her to her door :(
Later that week i talk to her about the date... she tells me she feels incapable of loving someone and that she could never give me what i wanted from her. She said that she can't express sympathy for me and that she will never care for me, that that was just the way she was. So we ended up not being in a relationship (me being rejected) and we stopped talking for like a week or two but then things started patching up.

Now ...4 or 5 months later... i still can't get her out of my head. Her smile, her smell, her hair, her lips, her eyes, the way she laughs its all stuck in my head. We went to the gym about a week ago and ran together... today SHE CALLED ME and asked if i wanted to work out....this work out took place from 6 30 till 10 30.... we went rock climbing, we played basketball ( i taught her a few things lol ), we went running, we lifted some weights, we played some volleyball, we went to the sauna, the jacuzzi, and did some laps in the pool. It was a dream come true :) OH! btw in the jacuzzi there are holes that push out the water...so she was like "jonathan lol touch this hole theres cold water coming out of it ...its so wierd" and im looking for it and she says "no no lol right here....where my hand is" at that moment i dont know what to do....im scared of screwing this up again....getting rejected....i dont want it to happen again. On the way home theres non stop talking, laughing, and smiling. Before i get out of the car and go home we go to the forest and smoke a black and mild...( i know gross...we both really dont smoke anymore it was just for the hell of it) so were in the woods smoking this black and mild and we talk about sex, drugs, life, college, and funny experiences. sadly the day had to come to an end and she had to leave.

she constantly gives me looks....ill catch her in the middle of spanish class staring at me.... i can make her smile as easy as it is to tie your shoe... i really dont know what to do... i just dont want to get hurt again.... if anyone responds to this....ill accept anything you have to say.... i just want someone elses opinion.....please help me lol

Jonathan, how old are you guys?
First off everyone loves attention. I think she loves your company and would like more of a best friend relationship with you. At this point, I would just tell her how you feel about her. If not just back off as friends too... just so at least you can get a grip on your feelings towards her.

Omg I'm so happy someone actually replied thank you!! Lol umm were both 18 and ill admit I'm a lol I'm too scared to put myself out there to get rejected again... it seems like she wants more than a frienship but I just don't know :/ and this is extremely selfish of me but I don't think I could be friends with her... its way too hard, it just is... no matter who I'm with or where I go she's always in my mind. :(

You will drive yourself crazy not knowing how she feels. Write her a note if you don't want to ask her in person. And if she has different intentions... Oh well... her lost. But you'll never know if you don't ask... so ask!! :D Just be cool about it!!

Later that week i talk to her about the date... she tells me she feels incapable of loving someone and that she could never give me what i wanted from her. She said that she can't express sympathy for me and that she will never care for me, that that was just the way she was.

She did tell you that she couldn't care for you like you would want her to. So just take her words at face value and believe her, she might just think that everything is a-okay now between the two of you; that you heard her loud and clear and that you're fine with hanging out as friends.

Another thing is what she did tell you, (in the quote above) it might be that she has been through stuff in the past that has made it difficult for her to connect to people...

It does seem as if you are in love with her, but I think you might just be setting yourself up here; looking for hope of a relationship where there is only a potential friendship.

If you still feel she might have feelings for you, you should just be upfront with her and tell her how you feel... Rejection is hard, it really does s u c k, but if you don't venture, you won't gain... and sometimes (if not in this case, with this girl: then with someone else) it really si worth it.

best of luck jonathan!

-roxy

I don't know man I'm still feeling strong about this... weve been hanging out every day since Thursday and so far its been great. Yesterday and today I joined her in her community service project... even though I don't need any more hours for my gov project I just wanted to be there with her. Lol I really want to tell her how I feel... its the whole rejection thing that's holding me back :( the thing is that its really different because the first time we barely talked like... a 10 minute phone conversation would be really awkward and then like a week later it turned into an hour and a half... and now she calls me. I don't know... I hope I'm not setting myself up...

Well... I guess if you want to know if you've got a shot... there is only one way to find out; you need to tell her how you feel and see what she says or you have to ask her how she feels about the situation...

Rejection is a part of life, and it is hard and it can be painful and sting like a mother, but sometimes it might be worth it; to take a risk. If your gut is telling you that the words she told you the first time was not true or that she has changed her mind, then you should follow that. You're the one who knows her and hangs out with her, so its hard for me to tell you what she means by her behavior. She might have meant what she said and see you as a friends, or she might have changed her mind etc... it can go either way. And like I said; if you don't venture, you won't gain.