Ok, This might sound weird but here I go... Last night the lady from down the road called and needed someone to come down. She was crying on the phone, so my husband went down. She has animals so I thought that maybe something happen to one of them. My husband was gone for about 45 minutes to an hour. He comes back and tells me that it had nothing to do with the animals. He said that the teenage girl that comes and helps her had got into trouble with the law and she ( the lady... umm lets call her boob) could not think for her self. She had no idea of what to do. I asked my husband why boob called and got him into this and it has nothing to do with us. He looked at me and said " I am not even going to tell you because I don't want to fight". What the heck?? Boob calls for everything, she is in her early 40's and able to things by her self. Boob lives with her father that is 88 years old and he is very nice. My husband hunts the land that they live on and does a lot of work for her. But when is enough enough? When I ask my husband to do something it takes forever, but when boob calls he is on his way... Um... Am I just being a boob or what? I would love him to be at my beck and call like he is with her!

You're not going to like my answer. It sounds to me like hubby's getting some "Boob" on the side (or trying to). It could also be completely innocent. I had a pregnant female friend years ago (completely unrelated to my question! It was another five years back!) whom I was not intimate with, but we were inseparable. I would bring her meals, help her with her job at the gym, I was at her beck and call at all hours of the day and night. I even took her to see the father of her child 2 states away completely on my dime. Ultimately it cost me a career, but I was that attached to her. I wanted to be the "Knight in Shining Armor" (it didn't help matters that I was undeniably attracted to her). I never got more than a hug from her - though I wanted more- and I respected her boundaries.

I don't pretend to know your husband's nobility or quotient of scoundrelness. You need to have a sit down and ask him directly what the deal is. If he refuses to answer consult a family therapist or be prepared to take legal steps.

First things first it sounds like he is getting some from someone other than you. I feel that if a man is bored he will hunt for a new toy to play with he proably got bored with you maybe you need to spice up your intimate life.

first things first it sounds like he is getting some from someone other than you. I feel that if a man is bored he will hunt for a new toy to play with he proably got bored with you maybe you need to spice up your intimate life.

How much more can I do when I have lots of toys and I would do just about anything in bed with him. He knows how I like to be playful in bed. Whip, spank, etc... I like it all..

The teenage girl that helps her stoled stuff from her and my husband is a corrections officer does that make a difference?

The teenage girl that helps her stole stuff from her and my husband is a corrections officer does that make a difference?

You might have told us that earlier. "Boob" may be looking for a professional opinion even though it's really not your husband's exact area of expertise. He might feel compelled by professional pride or something.

"Boob" works in a prison also. A different one, but still works in one. She is a nurse in the prison and she does see a lot of correction officers during the day. I just want to know why my husband? She has now started to call and ask when my husband and my kids are going to be coming down for a visit. My husband ask me if I wanted to go and I said no and he acted like he was a little mad at me. What the heck! She is pushing all of on buttons and I'm not happy. Her lamb had babies and my kids wanted to see them, but does it take 30-45 min to see baby sheep. When I do go down there with my husband "boob' will not make any eye contact with me she is always looking at my husband for all of the answers. I had asked my husband if he could see anything wrong with this and he told me NO. I had told him that he was blind. How would he like it if a man called and wanted me all the time?

You might have told us that earlier. "Boob" may be looking for a professional opinion even though it's really not your husband's exact area of expertise. He might feel compelled by professional pride or something.

I had told that the girl had got into trouble with the law. That was all I had said. My husband wanted me to tell you all that she stoled stuff from her. Maybe that would make a difference

This might sound a little devious,but,could you perhaps follow your husband the next time he goes to see 'boob'... maybe 20 or 30 minutes later?

Hey,you just wanted to see the lambs... and lets hope there's no slaughter!

Just read all your queries these all happens in the world tat stupid boob might be asking your hubby may be for the some cause.. be sure that your hubby is not totally turn over her by your activities don't try to show your emotions on him.. ask tat boob that if she wants anythng ask her to first consult you and then only she can talk to you hubby etc

I'm looking at this from a different angle than sex. Yes, men are sexual creatures but they don't always stray because of sex. Because not only are they sexual creatures, but they also like to feel needed and admired.

Its quite possible that there's nothing sexual going on with your husband and boob (I'm going to say a big YET) and that he's only helping her out because she gives him what he needs - to feel appreciated and admired and most of all, that he's needed.

Try to honestly answer if you are fulfilling this need and if the answer's no, then start asap before something does happen!

I think he is just being a male, and helping a damsel in distress. That doesn't mean you can't make sure he is all right, after 10/20 minutes. Just to send her a message.

just read all your queries these all happens in the world tat stupid boob might be asking ur hubby may be for the some cause..be sure that ur hubby is not totally turn over her by ur activities dont try to show ur emotions on him..ask tat boob that if she wants anythng ask her to first consult u and then only she can talk to u hubby etc
<rant>
OK clearly your "y" and "o" keys aren't broken so why aren't you using them to spell "your", "you're", or "you"? It's not like it saves you any real time typing and for that matter it's not like this is a real time conversation where you need to be super fast anyway.

</rant>

I'm sorry I just hate "txtspk" with an unquenchable passion. We now return you to your regularly scheduled cheating husband thread.

My opinion is I think you are being really over dramatic here.

Boob lives with her father, she works in the same corrections field as your husband. Perhaps she doesn't wish to share the problem about the girl, with her work mates. It sounds to me that he is a good listener and a good friend, to both boob, and boob's father.

Perhaps because he hunts the land that she owns as you say, he feels the need to reciprocate when he can so he doesn't feel he owes her anything.

His visits are short, you know where he is and what he's doing, you can follow him or check up on him at any time. What's the problem.

I think you need to let up on the leash a bit and give the guy a break.

As to him not getting around to doing anything in the house, but gets things done for her. That is so common. A plumber always fixes the taps in his own place, last. Nobody knows why, that's just the way it is.

I think you should go down there with your husband. You'll probably be bored to tears, and would rather be home doing anything else other than listening to her problems.

At least go enough to let everyone know you're in the picture, which in turn should make you feel a little more secure.

My opinion is I think you are being really over dramatic here.

Boob lives with her father, she works in the same corrections field as your husband. Perhaps she doesn't wish to share the problem about the girl, with her work mates. It sounds to me that he is a good listener and a good friend, to both boob, and boob's father.

Perhaps because he hunts the land that she owns as you say, he feels the need to reciprocate when he can so he doesn't feel he owes her anything.

His visits are short, you know where he is and what he's doing, you can follow him or check up on him at any time. What's the problem.

I think you need to let up on the leash a bit and give the guy a break.

As to him not getting around to doing anything in the house, but gets things done for her. That is so common. A plumber always fixes the taps in his own place, last. Nobody knows why, that's just the way it is.

I think you should go down there with your husband. You'll probably be bored to tears, and would rather be home doing anything else other than listening to her problems.

At least go enough to let everyone know you're in the picture, which in turn should make you feel a little more secure.

Are you married?

Boob did all of these things by her self before she met my husband. Why now? I started going down w/ him and she makes her eye contact with just him. I stood back and watched and she is all about him. She makes plains w/ him and so on. Last year she wanted to buy a boat w/ him. Boob is in her early 40's and my husband is in his early 30's. She makes jobs up for him to have to come down there.

Boob did all of these things by her self before she met my husband. Why now? I started going down w/ him and she makes her eye contact with just him. I stood back and watched and she is all about him. She makes plains w/ him and so on. Last year she wanted to buy a boat w/ him. Boob is in her early 40's and my husband is in his early 30's. She makes jobs up for him to have to come down there.

Yes, I'm married, 33 years this July 17th, and over the years I've had situations just like the one you describe.

Now, buying a boat with him seems a little too chummy, that would bother me too.

When you say she makes plans with him, then she makes up jobs in order for him to come down there, what are these plans you're referring to.

Your first post sounded like he was just being a good neighbour, but now I'm wondering, just how much time, and how often is he down there.

Maybe the way you express your concerns to your husband, is what's clogging the communications between you, on this matter.

[QUOTE=45notdaddy;1656904]<rant>
OK clearly your "y" and "o" keys aren't broken so why aren't you using them to spell "your", "you're", or "you"? It's not like it saves you any real time typing and for that matter it's not like this is a real time conversation where you need to be super fast anyway.

</rant>

I'm sorry I just hate "txtspk" with an unquenchable passion. We now return you to your regularly scheduled cheating husband thread.[/QUOTE



Oops sorry my fingers automatically typing u instead "you "
I thought people may get through it

how much more can i do when i have lots of toys and i would do just about anything in bed with him. He knows how i like to be playful in bed. Whip, spank, ect.... I like it all..

Well maybe try something completely new. Go crazy

I think she may have a crush on your husband and your husband may be flattered by it and may even appreciate feeling wanted by another woman.

In my opinion, it is harmless at this point. However, if you become insecure and deal with this the way you have so far (by what I've read) you may end up pushing him into doing something he otherwise wouldn't have.

I say the next time you are invited to go down to see her with him, GO. Be there as often as you can, it will discourage 'boob' from calling him down so often if she suspects you may show up with him.

Also, one approach would be to lay everything out on the table, be open about everything and use a bit of humour to de-dramatize the situation and not come off as threatening or he will not open up to you on this matter. Let him know you think she has a crush on him and maybe it gives his ego a boost, but do in a playful manner and in a manner that seems like you're teasing him rather than accusing him. You can also incorporate some more serious discussions here, in where you explain to him that you think the situation is funny and harmless but that you just want to make sure that boundaries are set and respected.

Men like the attention given to them by other women, it makes them feel good about themselves. It gives them confidence and this in itself can be a very positive thing in your marriage, it really doesn't have to be all bad. A confident and happy husband is a lot better than an insecure and depressed one in my opinion.

Let him know you think she has a crush on him and maybe it gives his ego a boost, but do in a playful manner and in a manner that seems like you're teasing him rather than accusing him. You can also incorporate some more serious discussions here, in where you explain to him that you think the situation is funny and harmless but that you just want to make sure that boundaries are set and respected.



I like your ideas, and points, as they do emphasize how to get your point across to handle this situation.

I think how this situation is dealt with is the important thing.

Thank you all for everything you have said. I have started going down there with him and she won't even make eye contact with me. Lol It has been about a week and a half and she has not called. (happy) I asked my husband why he has not gone down there and he said that she has a whole bunch of stuff for him to do. Well, our boys have now started playing ball and that will be 4 nights a week. So I'm not sure when he will have the time to do her "honey do list".