My sister says she wants to study to become a Vampire. How can you study to become a Vampire? Is this real? :eek: What should I tell her? She's very serious about it, and wants my advice!

Tell her to seek counseling immediately! Do this before things get way out of hand! Next thing you know the "red wine" you guys toast with on Thanksgiving won't be just "wine."

Just ask a Vampire how to become one... oh yea, there is no such thing as Vampires!! How old is she?

Well first things first (not second or third) you have to take her to hot topic and then the costume shop for fake fangs at first. Then take her to the library so sh can lend books on the vampiric culture and in due course her real fangs should grow if she follows the hints and instructions properly, oh and of course keep her away from anything garlic related what so ever, and also steaks, not just the wooden type but the meat ones too, people often forget this vital fact on becoming a vampire. Good luck to your sister and if you need any more info ill have to do a bit more digging or I could put you into contact with certain people.

Cool! I mean vampires are people too and they shouldn't be judged.

Where I come from we hold vampires in very high esteem,think of it as respect for your elders.

There is a toll free hot line she can call .I work there on the week ends and I can give her some advice .The ins and outs ,how to protect yourself from slayers and stuff like that. Sorry I had to remove the number,I will Im it to you!

She also should know that there are the fake vampires out there.

They say they are recruiters but they aren't.They are posers and they try to deprogram you.

They wear these charms on their ankles and if they touch you with it,you lose your power.

What kind of "powers" do they claim to have?

There is teleportation.You can move from one place to another instantly.
The ability to muse someone which is like hypnosis.

Super sensitive hearing and sight and sense of smell.

You can also take lessons in other special mediums that enhance your powers of esp and clairvoyance.

I Know it sounds crazy but I have been a closet vamp for years.

I don't understand. You can move from one place to another physically? How would this be possible?

I know she's always been supersensitive to smell, and well, I always thought as kids she was just nosy, because she always seemed to see and hear everything we did, and tattle on us. Could this be why?

I don't know. I don't think I am buying this whole vampire thing. Is it really a whole culture?

Yes,we have to remain somewhat low profile but we exist .

Just think of all the popularity of vampires over the years in movies and books,its not just made up.Everything has an origin.We have been given a bad rap by the media but in reality we are just like anyone else ,just a little more of what others are.

I suspect that her early childhood instincts were such that she did have some contact and that is why she has re devolped an interest.That is rather common.

What do you do with all the dead bodies after you drink their blood? Never hear about the police finding them in the news, must be some secret vampire hiding place somewhere.

Hmmm, I see. So how old were you when you discovered this? Did you have to study this? Is their classes or anything that you must attend? Are their certain rules that you must follow? How much of what we see in movies is actually true?

What do you do with all the dead bodies after you drink their blood? Never hear about the police finding them in the news, must be some secret vampire hiding place somewhere.

There is a code that I must adhere to and I can't reveal everything but most people are not killed.Only the dark ones do that.
Most of us are life givers and go on to give eternal life to others.
I know it sounds complicated ,I'm not really used to talking to blues(humans) about it.

My sister is a novelist that writes about vampires and constantly receives recipes and all sorts of weird stuff from some of her fans.

I believe that there are vampires, but not the kind that suck blood. A friend of mine's ex-husband sucked the creativity and life energy as well as 10s of thousands of dollars from her before she got rid of him. It didn't take a stake to the heart, (although I'm sure she thought about it) just a good attorney.

Hmmm, I see. So how old were you when you discovered this? Did you have to study this? Is their classes or anything that you must attend? Are their certain rules that you must follow? How much of what we see in movies is actually true?

It's a family thing in my case, lore handed down from my grandfather on my mothers side(it is always from the maternal side)

When you grow up in our culture you don't see it as odd and I appreciate that no one here is judging.

My sect ,the Lampuriants do not kill we just pass on our life to others.

When I tell people on here I am an old woman ,I'm not kidding :)

There are many rules and there are always obeyed.No one in my lifetime has eever broken any.

The movies are close but clearly way off the beaten path.There is no garlic or stake or death pall from silver.I happen to wear silver all the time.

Daylight can be tricky but if you wear certain uv protected contact lenses your O.K.

Im happy to answer your questions and glad you are being so open minded.

There is a code that I must adhere to and I can't reveal everything but most people are not killed.Only the dark ones do that.
Most of us are life givers and go on to give eternal life to others.
I know it sounds complicated ,I'm not really used to talking to blues(humans) about it.

So what is the difference between the dark ones and the life givers? Is there a pact that you enter into where you are given this secret code? How do you become a vampire to begin with? Can anyone become one?--or do you have to be bitten like it shows in the movies?

So what is the difference between the dark ones and the life givers? Is there a pact that you enter into where you are given this secret code? How do you become a vampire to begin with? Can anyone become one?--or do you have to be bitten like it shows in the movies?

The dark ones are nothing but gluttons and do not have the finesse to create anything but death.They are walking corpses in my book!

The life givers have the formula for everlasting life and give that to the entitled(people worthy of sanction).

There is a ceremony that takes up to a year depending on your strength as you must be milked throughout the probation period.

Not everyone can become one.You must pass a battery of tests and be* acquainted * with a fellow initiate.

It is not like a bite as much as a medical procedure ,and it is inside the inner thigh,not the neck,another Hollywood drama:).

Thanks Starby.. gee you sound interested.I knew when I met you their was something different about you.

OK this just got really real for me!! I never really talked about this with anyone before so here it goes. Artlady I was just thinking you were joking around until you called humans Blue. I had a relationship with this one girl who would always call me blue. I would ask her why she called me blue and she would just say because that is what you are.

It was strange the entire relationship. For example when I first met her I asked her for her number she said I don't need to give you my number give me your number and just say my name and I will call you. So I thought great she is blowing me off. So the next day I said her name a bunch of times through out the day. Then finally she called and said Blue you can't call my name all the time like that just say it once and I will call you. Just thought OK she is messing with me.

When I was with her I didn't even need to talk I would just think Maybe we should go to old city then she would stick her head in the room from the kitchen when I KNEW she was up stairs and say yeah lets go to old city. I thought OK maybe I said something or maybe I didn't see her walk from upstairs to down stairs. 5 minutes later she would walk down the stairs.

When we got real got to know each other she told me one night she could shape shift. At that point I thought OK she is crazy and I never talked to her again. So did I have a relationship with a vampire? Please do not think I am crazy

The fastest way for your sister to become a vampire is to find another vampire and let him or her bite her.

I must say that there are people out there that really try to turn themselves into a vampire. They even go as far as shaping their teeths into flangs. Some believe in drinking blood some don't. This is called vampirism.

I once saw a special about this on HBO. You might be able to find the special at HBO website.

The dark ones are nothing but gluttons and do not have the finesse to create anything but death.They are walking corpses in my book!

The life givers have the formula for everlasting life and give that to the entitled(people worthy of sanction).

There is a ceremony that takes up to a year depending on your strength as you must be milked throughout the probation period.

Not everyone can become one.You must pass a battery of tests and be* acquainted * with a fellow initiate.

It is not like a bite as much as a medical procedure ,and it is inside the inner thigh,not the neck,another Hollywood drama:).

Thanks Starby..gee you sound interested.I knew when I met you their was something different about you.

So you mentioned that this runs in families. Does this skip generations, or should I be worried? Does this trait develop over time in families, or is more likely that only certain family members will be vampires. I'm confused. Are you born a vampire, or is it a choice? What does it mean to be "milked"? Who would do this type of medical procedure on the inner thigh? There aren't really Dr's that do this are there? I don't understand what being "blue" means. Does this have something to do with the color of their skin?

OK this just got really real for me!!! I never really talked about this with anyone before so here it goes. Artlady I was just thinking you were joking around until you called humans Blue. I had a relationship with this one girl who would always call me blue. I would ask her why she called me blue and she would just say because that is what you are.

It was strange the entire relationship. For example when I first met her I asked her for her number she said I don't need to give you my number give me your number and just say my name and I will call you. So I thought great she is blowing me off. So the next day I said her name a bunch of times through out the day. Then finally she called and said Blue you can't call my name all the time like that just say it once and I will call you. Just thought ok she is messing with me.

When I was with her I didn't even need to talk I would just think Maybe we should go to old city then she would stick her head in the room from the kitchen when I KNEW she was up stairs and say yeah lets go to old city. I thought ok maybe I said something or maybe I didn't see her walk from upstairs to down stairs. 5 minutes later she would walk down the stairs.

When we got real got to know each other she told me one night she could shape shift. At that point I thought OK she is crazy and I never talked to her again. So did i have a relationship with a vampire?? Please do not think I am crazy

I can't speak for her but it sounds like one of us.Shape shifting is defiantly something we incorporate into our charms.

Have you guys been drinking? ;)

So you mentioned that this runs in families. Does this skip generations, or should I be worried? Does this trait develop over time in families, or is more likely that only certain family members will be vampires. I'm confused. Are you born a vampire, or is it a choice? What does it mean to be "milked"? Who would do this type of medical procedure on the inner thigh? There aren't really Dr's that do this are there? I don't understand what being "blue" means. Does this have something to do with the color of their skin?

You are really curious and that's a good thing.
There is no skipping,it is in your family and it is a heritage that you can take pride in.

It's a choice in one way and in another way it isn't.You are born a certain religion from your parents but as an adult you can have your own religion,its akin to that.

Milking is like what the barbers used to do in the olden days when they bled someone and it is done but a doctor.A Cult doctor but a doctor.
A blue is a person who has blue blood and is not initiated yet.
** personal contact edited out

Here. I got this from a "real" vampire site. Your sister can take this quiz and see if she is a true vampire. There are a few deluded people who get a wee bit too caught up in the romance of novels and vampire shows. They convince themselves that they need human blood, too (they have willing donors). Please let your sister know about the dangers of blood borne pathogens if she insists on being a vampire.

P.S.
I don't believe in vampires.


How to know if you are a real vampire
s


The sole purpose of this page is to help you figure out if you are a real vampire or not. This is to be used with the spotting a real vampire page on this site, after all if you don't spot yourself as a real vampire then you aren't a real vampire. All of the traits below are accurate for at least 95% of the real vampire population most are 100%. and assuming that you are a real vampire, the fact that they are accurate for you may shock you (those are the ones that I am saying are 95% to eliminate the chance of ruling a real vampire out that they may not be accurate for.) If you are convinced that you are a real vampire, yet have few to none of these traits you really need to read up on a term that is known as enabling and stop claiming to be one. or you could even seem to have all of them and still there is no guarantee that you are a real vampire.

"I didn't draw blood at first, but I did get an overwhelming feeling"

If you can relate to that quote don't waste your time reading any farther, because you are definitely not a real vampire.

1. Do you have unusually white skin? If yes then cook up one or two (depending on size) medium rare steaks (the best way to do this) if by the time your done enjoying the second one you have a new pinkish color through out your body that you havent had in awhile read no farther you are a real vampire. (humans can't digest blood let alone get color from it, real vampires do. However the extra work involved in trying to eat medium rare or rare meat can cause a temporary pink color to the skin which is otherwise known as being flushed. Temporarily being flushed is not the color that is being referred to when a vampire gets color from the blood in the steak. takes a lot less human blood then animal blood to get the same effect but animal blood is way easier to get.) if you were white before and still are see a doctor. Odds are you aren't a real vampire, your just malnourished, they can help.

2.Have you been told by professionals that your lucky that you survived a few things that you survived with pretty much just a scratch or a cut?

3. Are you a naturally strong magic/energy user self taught, self realized?

4. As a kid were you the strongest, smartest, or quickest kid in the class. and around 16 years of age maybe all 3?

5. Did your dad disappear from your life while you were at a young age? (note 52% of vampires out of a large range of vampires have said yes to this, that includes people who believe they are real vampires however may not really be one.) Click for one theory on how this is vampire related, truth about the ''Vampire Community'' or Click here to give a response.

6. Do people often tell you that you look very young for your age, or that they would have never guessed how old you are?

7. Are you extremely energetic at night time but seemingly around the time the sun comes up you get really tired?

8. Are you a slightly quicker healer than most, if not a much quicker healer?

9. Do you have an unusually high tolerance to alcohol and other poisons/toxins?

10. Do you tend to switch between very social and antisocial frequently?

11. Do you rarely get sick, or when you get sick does your body recover quicker than most people?

12. Are your six senses more enhanced than most other peoples, i.e. vision, hearing, touch, smell, taste, and intuition?

13. Do you have extremely good vision in the dark, how many times has some one said its to dark they can't see while you were doing something like reading?

14. Do you tend to not be surprised or scared by the typical sudden loud noise in a movie or things like that because you sensed it coming.

15. Do you tend to react to things like catching a falling object or other normally unexpected things at an almost psychic speed? (as if you were expecting it to happen).

16. Do you tend to get a high from human blood, when drinking someones blood do you tend to find yourself being able to do something that they could do (that you couldn't do) about 2 weeks after drinking it?

17. Are you sensitive to light or the heat from it (ranging from getting a bad glare to burning very easily)?

18. If while your skin is white from lack of enough blood in you, do you bleed quite noticeably less than a person normally should, or more likely not bleed at all?

19. Are your nails clear like glass, yet very strong?

20. Is you'r bedroom the coldest and darkest room in the house?

21. A legitimate Vampire is able to safely digest more than 600% of the daily recommended amount of iron(RDA is 18mg 600% of that is 108mg)This can be tested by use of iron pills bought at almost any nutrition store or grocery store. (always read the warnings on this site).

22. How often do you look at the person that almost bumped (or bumped in to you) in to you and think "you idiot, or people are so stupid" because they didn't know that you were only a couple feet away from them, because you always know when someone is that close to you? (which when you think about it you only know because you can sense when someone is that close to you).

23. Do you always feel a strong urge to travel.

24. How often does something smell so strong that you can literaly taste it, whether its a good thing or a bad thing? (little note when most people say it smells so strong that they can taste it, only say it as a figure of speech. and the people that agree with you when you say it rarely can taste it, think I'm wrong ask them yourself).

25. Can you hear a whisper from across a room?

26. Is there a dark colored ring around the the iris (color part) of you'r eyes? All real vampires have this, however not everyone that has it is a real vampire.

27. Is there a noticeablly different color surrounding the pupil? (Inner part of the color of your eyes.)

28. Do the words "come on outside, it's a nice bright sunny day, and theres a lot of people out." seem more like a bad thing than a good thing to you, as oppossed to the guy who said it to you, saying it with a big happy smile.

29. According to multiple news articles easily found online older adults can't here this, so far I haven't found some one over 36 nonvamp that can, click to try to hear it. warning: if you can hear it, it will be loud. (always follow the warnings on this website) My reference for this yahoo homepage/news 6-21-06, and testing it on friends.

30. Regardless of how normal you may consider yourself to be, do you tend to meet a lot of weird people that you quite often hit it off with relatively frequently? (keep in mind, normal is just a politically correct term for people that have no creativity. And definately is NOT some thing to be proud of calling yourself).

31. Do you have a predator instinct that is so strong that, it makes most people seem to act more like herbivores than the omnivores that they consider themselves to be?

32. Does sunlight/bright light in general hurt your eyes and head, most cases to the point of a migraine?
(but you can still go out in it).

33. Do electrical appliances generally tend to hate you?
(watches stop often, computers malfunction for no reason, microwaves start up by themselves, etc).

34. Are your dreams often extremely vivid and sometimes result in cases of deja vu?

35. Do people often find you very empathetic to how they feel?

36. Do people usually either trust you completely or not trust you at all?

37. When you will things to happen, do they usually happen?

38. Does your mood have an obvious effect on the mood of others around you, only count this if it happens to the people that can't see you. (especially on babies and animals like cats).



Click Here To Find Places Where You Can Meet Others Like You. For those of you who want to try to feel important by poking holes in this list, Read this first and don't waste your breath trying, because I know i'm right, this list only applies to blood vampires, and your belief isn't required nor do I care if you disagree with me.
Click here to join the chatroom

Do you really need me to ask you more of these question? All of these can be passed off as just a coincidence, though how many coincidences can happen at the same time for the same person? <> Sychronicty a word coined by DR. Carl Jung, which basicaly states that it is not just a mere coincidence for something like that to happen. Yes all of these can be explained but for them all to happen to one person, as well as the fact that they are all vampiric traits should make you wonder. <> Not to mention, if you only knew how many people that think they are vampires, give me hell because they don't have any of these traits. (Those people really should learn about something known as enabling and not complain to me about it.) You would really think twice on the fact that as a vampire you take these for granted. <> The only reason why I haven't listed all the people and their statements on it, is because regardless of what they think or tell me I really dont care. Real vampires have had awakenings because of this page, wannabe vampires have ed and complained to me about this page, all in all it is helping vampires and that is all that matters to me.

Click Here To Find Places Where You Can Meet Others Like You.

Click to join the message group







Vampire Banner Exchange

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Have you guys been drinking? ;)

I think so but Artlady is the drunkiest. Sorry Artlady!

I think so but Artlady is the drunkiest. Sorry Artlady!

LOL! I had to spread the rep before I could give you more!

My sister says she wants to study to become a Vampire. How can you study to become a Vampire? Is this real? :eek: What should I tell her? She's very serious about it, and wants my advice!



All else aside, what if I have no advice? What if I only have a question for her. Why does she want to be a vampire? (You did say "vampire," right? I'm not reading this wrong.)

Would make for interesting family reunions. Be sure to invite me. I'll bring my sister who is still protesting the War in Vietnam. So far we haven't told her it ended some years ago. They'll get along fine.

My sister says she wants to study to become a Vampire. How can you study to become a Vampire? Is this real? :eek: What should I tell her? She's very serious about it, and wants my advice!

Did this happen due to the Twilight series and the movie perhaps?

Did this happen due to the Twilight series and the movie perhaps?

That's what I'm wondering... plus, the "True Blood" series on HBO is very popular.

Wasn't there a young girl on the site some time back that believed she was a vampire?

Starby, exactly why does she want to do this? Is she thinking of becoming a vampire, or does she believe she is a vampire? Big difference I think.

If she wants to become one, how does one actually go about that? Is it as simple as being bitten by someone that is a vampire? If so, isn't there the possibility of death?

If she thinks she is a vampire already, how did this happen? Was she bitten, or did she simply decide to be a vampire?

So many questions, no answers.

Wasn't there a young girl on the site some time back that believed she was a vampire?

Starby, exactly why does she want to do this? Is she thinking of becoming a vampire, or does she believe she is a vampire? Big difference I think.

If she wants to become one, how does one actually go about that? Is it as simple as being bitten by someone that is a vampire? If so, isn't there the possibility of death?

If she thinks she is a vampire already, how did this happen? Was she bitten, or did she simply decide to be a vampire?

So many questions, no answers.

Have you read Artlady's responses? She answers many of those questions.

Wasn't there a young girl on the site some time back that believed she was a vampire?

Starby, exactly why does she want to do this? Is she thinking of becoming a vampire, or does she believe she is a vampire? Big difference I think.

If she wants to become one, how does one actually go about that? Is it as simple as being bitten by someone that is a vampire? If so, isn't there the possibility of death?

If she thinks she is a vampire already, how did this happen? Was she bitten, or did she simply decide to be a vampire?

So many questions, no answers.

I'm trying to explain to the best of my ability without revealing too much of our secret society.
Her sister wants to be one of us.
There is a process that takes up to a year,sometimes more in people who have no second sight.
Being bitten is a myth perpetuated by Hollywood.
If you have any questions I would be happy to answer them.And no people I am not drunk :)

Artlady are you serious because your starting to scare me, lol

Can vampir shift shape into animals? If so, did you shift shape into that wolve in your avatar?

I thought it looked to realistic! :-)

Out of curiosity, can vampires cast any sort of spell like witches? Can they cause harm or good to a "blue?"

Good question J9. Considering that we'd be considered Blues, that wouldn't be good. :(

I don't know about this Starby. I'd tell her to run like h.e. double hockey sticks.

Good question J9. Considering that we'd be considered Blues, that wouldn't be good. :(

I don't know about this Starby. I'd tell her to run like h.e. double hockey sticks.

I had to leave for awhile, and just got back. Artlady has sent me some very interesting info. I'll have to read it tonight. I really hope this doesn't run in the family! I remember my Aunt talking about this years ago, and saying that she was a vampire too! We haven't spoken with her in years! Maybe I'll try and get in touch with her and see what she thinks! I find this all very interesting!

Now that I think about it, I remember my great grandmother said something to my grandmother about this thing too! My grandmother thought it was just crazy!

She also should know that there are the fake vampires out there.

They say they are recruiters but they aren't.They are posers and they try to deprogram you.

They wear these charms on their ankles and if they touch you with it,you lose your power.
Are you for real please tell me you are being sarcastic

You guys a crazy... I love it :) 18169

Although Artlady is starting to scare me a bit :eek:

What are the advantages of being a vampire - and I'm being serious, no joke. Why would anyone want to be a vampire? Eternal life, maybe? But outliving everyone you love? I don't know.

Wasn't there a young girl on the site some time back that believed she was a vampire?

Starby, exactly why does she want to do this? Is she thinking of becoming a vampire, or does she believe she is a vampire? Big difference I think.

If she wants to become one, how does one actually go about that? Is it as simple as being bitten by someone that is a vampire? If so, isn't there the possibility of death?

If she thinks she is a vampire already, how did this happen? Was she bitten, or did she simply decide to be a vampire?

So many questions, no answers.

I think you are talking about this person:
http://https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/science-fiction-fantasy/am-vampire-276415.html

Starby, if your sister is like this she needs help!! Maybe this is a psycological problem. It kind of reminds me of those people who think that they are pregnant and end up pretending to be pregnant and even look and have the symptoms of a pregnant person. Maybe your sister will become the same way and think that she is a vampire and pretend that she is one!!

What are the advantages of being a vampire - and I'm being serious, no joke. Why would anyone want to be a vampire? Eternal life, maybe? But outliving everyone you love? I don't know.

Well I guess you would get to see your grandchildrens, grandchildrens, grandchildren grow up right?

I am closing this thread,

1. it has little to do with relationship

2. there is open request and comments of additional info sent by PM instead of posting it as required by the rules

I think so but Artlady is the drunkiest. Sorry Artlady!
Soory can't rep you..
Quite sober Liz but thanks for not thinking I was insane! At least drunk can get sober,insane is a little trickier :)

GOTCHA! APRIL FOOLS!... that was fun wasn't it Vampira! (aka Artlady) :D LOL!

ROFLMAO. I would have gotten it if you had started it today.

That was something for everyone to think about and stir out everyone juices. I started to get creeped out a little.

Maybe I should tell people at my job that I think I am a vampire to creep them out. Nah, they might fire me or worst send me to the nut house.

or worst send me to the nut house.

I thought everyone who is a regular on this site was already there. Except they just threw out all the pistachios. :D

Comments on this post
starbuck8 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/starbuck8.html) agrees: Artlady and I had a really good laugh! Haha!

There was some concern that artlady's account had been compromised or she had someone housesitting ;)

I thought everyone who is a regular on this site was already there. Except they just threw out all the pistachios. :D

I only had a day pass! :D

Comments on this post
starbuck8 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/starbuck8.html) agrees: Artlady and I had a really good laugh! haha!

There was some concern that artlady's account had been compromised or she had someone housesitting ;)

I know! I'm glad that all got straightened out. That was when we stopped laughing for awhile. ;)

Comments on this post
starbuck8 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/starbuck8.html) agrees: Artlady and I had a really good laugh! haha!

There was some concern that artlady's account had been compromised or she had someone housesitting ;)

That was done to throw you all off course! :p

I still think I had a better one last year when I threatened to quit this site.

Comments on this post
starbuck8 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/starbuck8.html) agrees: Artlady and I had a really good laugh! haha!

There was some concern that artlady's account had been compromised or she had someone housesitting ;)

That's so funny! I guess that means some people don't think I'm totally nuts.:rolleyes:

I still think I had a better one last year when I threatened to quit this site.

Ohh ,that's a good one.I bet that ruffled some feathers !

[QUOTE=artlady agrees: It happened because its April first a bit early:)[/QUOTE]



I think I've been had - by pros!

Congratulations.

Now sleep with your eyes open while I plot my revenge. And, yes, you sucked me right in!

My sister is going to kill me! Hahaha! I got her on Facebook too! ::hiding:: I haven't heard from her yet... oh oh! :D

You kids are all silly. You had me in the beginning, I thought you'd finally gone over the edge.

Poo, I was going to start a thread, tell everyone I was pregnant which would be bad seeing as hubby had a vasectomy.

I'll get you all next year, so worry! ;)

A vampire bat flies back into his cave after a big night... he has blood all over his face. Perches himself on the roof to try and get some rest.

But before too long the other bats smell the blood, and start to gather around him. They ask feverishly where he got the blood from.

Knowing that they will not let up till he tells them "OK, follow me!".

He flies out of the cave, across a valley, over a river into a dark forest. Deep in the forest he stops, all the other bats gather round in an excited frenzy.

"OK", says the bat, "see that big oak tree over there?". "Yeah yeah" reply the other bats, drooling in anticipation.

"Well I f**ken didn't!", said the bat.

A vampire bat flies back into his cave after a big night...he has blood all over his face. Perches himself on the roof to try and get some rest.

But before too long the other bats smell the blood, and start to gather around him. They ask feverishly where he got the blood from.

Knowing that they will not let up till he tells them "OK, follow me!".

He flies out of the cave, across a valley, over a river into a dark forest. Deep in the forest he stops, all the other bats gather round in an excited frenzy.

"OK", says the bat, "see that big oak tree over there?". "Yeah yeah" reply the other bats, drooling in anticipation.

"Well I f**ken didn't!", said the bat.

Hey, careful how you talk about my family! :p

A vampire bat flies back into his cave after a big night...he has blood all over his face. Perches himself on the roof to try and get some rest.

But before too long the other bats smell the blood, and start to gather around him. They ask feverishly where he got the blood from.

Knowing that they will not let up till he tells them "OK, follow me!".

He flies out of the cave, across a valley, over a river into a dark forest. Deep in the forest he stops, all the other bats gather round in an excited frenzy.

"OK", says the bat, "see that big oak tree over there?". "Yeah yeah" reply the other bats, drooling in anticipation.

"Well I f**ken didn't!", said the bat.

ROFLMAO, I love it M! :p :p :p :p

Oh come on... are we doing the vampire thing again?

Oh come on....are we doing the vampire thing again?

LMAO! Yup, but thankfully Starby is just kidding.

Long time no see Mark. Have you been avoiding us? Did we scare you? ;)

LMAO! Yup, but thankfully Starby is just kidding.

Long time no see Mark. Have you been avoiding us? Did we scare you? ;)

Well I was standing outside your window but you just never noticed me. :(

Well I was standing outside your window but you just never noticed me. :(

Did you get some good video at least? Pictures? Come on, tell me you didn't just stand there and do nothing! :D

Well I was standing outside your window but you just never noticed me. :(

I vant to suck yer blood! Muuwaahahahaha!

Did you get some good video at least? Pictures? Come on, tell me you didn't just stand there and do nothing! :D

I plead the 5th as to my actions :D

I vant to suck yer blood!! Muuwaahahahaha!!

:eek:

:eek:

Lmao!

I plead the 5th as to my actions :D

The 5th won't help you here, I'm in Canada. :)

Did you see our new hang out? It's a brothel.

lmao!!

I stopped reading after the 5th word... guess I got a little excited. :o

The 5th won't help you here, I'm in Canada. :)

Did you see our new hang out? It's a brothel.

Oh you lawless Canadians... just sitting up there like America's hat.

A brothel you say? :rolleyes:

Yes, a brothel. Check it out. Wait, I'll post the link.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/lounge/best-little-house-amhd-332579.html

What kind of crap is that?

What kind of crap is that?

It's our temporary home while the Castle is under reno's! ;)

What kind of crap is that?

LMAO! I see you don't like the rules. Did you really think I'd make the girls do all the work? :D

By the way everyone, why do young people who don't even know how pregnancy occurs, have sex? Then they advise each other on pregnancy and sex etc. The blind leading the blind. :(

Well first of all, you lead to a brothel but when I get there it is the wrong kind of brothel. False advertisement I tell you... it's like those Miracle Bras.

By the way everyone, why do young people who don't even know how pregnancy occurs, have sex? Then they advise eachother on pregnancy and sex etc. The blind leading the blind. :(
Didn't you know? These young folks know everything!

Well first of all, you lead to a brothel but when I get there it is the wrong kind of brothel. False advertisement I tell ya....it's like those Miracle Bras.

I hear most vampira's have implants! They don't need no stinkin Miracle Bra! Vamps have no secrets! :D

Well first of all, you lead to a brothel but when I get there it is the wrong kind of brothel. False advertisement I tell ya....it's like those Miracle Bras.

You mean the miracle bra doesn't work? What's it supposed to do? I already have big boobs, they don't need to be bigger, the miracle would be if they were 18 years old again. Ahh, those were the days. :cool:

I hear most vampira's have implants! They don't need no stinkin Miracle Bra! Vamps have no secrets! :D

Yeah but with the all the biting and the blood... it gets pretty messy when you get 'intimate'. I just don't have the energy to be changing the sheets all the time.

Didn't you know? These young folks know everything!

Really? Well then, I'll leave them to it. Once the OP to that question actually gets pregnant, she can thank the other 15 something's that gave her advice. I tried, but they never listen.

Heck, what do I know, I've only had sex, had kids, couldn't possibly know how pregnancy occurs. I thought it was something in the water. ;)

You mean the miracle bra doesn't work? What's it supposed to do? I already have big boobs, they don't need to be bigger, the miracle would be if they were 18 years old again. Ahh, those were the days. :cool:

I can make them look smaller... I have big hands :D

Yeah but with the all the biting and the blood....it gets pretty messy when you get 'intimate'. I just don't have the energy to be changing the sheets all the time.

Messy yes, but I hear it's a hell of a ride! :D

Starby, does your sis have implants? That would be the first step I think .;)

I can make them look smaller....I have big hands :D

I'm a two hand kind of girl, for each boob. :eek:

How big are your hands? :D

M, I know you're hiding. Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Back to the lounge kids! ;)

I'm a two hand kind of girl, for each boob. :eek:

How big are your hands? :D
HUGE! I'd tell you an actual number but you might not understand our normal measurement system we use here in the U.S. and that Canadian system... well that's just goofy ;)

But he won't go there, he's afraid. :(

Mark, meet me in the lounge, I'll race you!

18277

Everybody "DUCK"!

You guys SUCK :p

I think she is crazy but well you should tell her vampires aren't real and if she is your little sister you should just let her because its not like she will become a vampire

i think she is crazy but well you should tell her vampires arent real and if she is your little sister you should just let her because its not like she will become a vampire

This whole thread was just an April fool prank and to creep people out.

Her sister doesn't really want to a vampire.

i think she is crazy but well you should tell her vampires arent real and if she is your little sister you should just let her because its not like she will become a vampire


You continue to post without reading the thread - this was an April Fools prank. A lot of people (me included) fell for it. The prankster confessed. This was days ago.

Please read the thread before you respond.

This whole thread was just an April fool prank and to creep people out.

Her sister doesn't really want to a vampire.

Or does she :eek: could that be the real April fools joke :D

Not sure who reopened this after I closed it, guess I have no sense of humor, closed it again,