Hello,

I'm in a delema. I was in-love with this person for 2 yrs.. he knew that.. he too expressed feelings for me... we were physical, to a certain extent. During that time, he was in a live-in relationship.. Once that was finally over, he started acting strange: did not want to go out in public with me... but would still want to come and see me at night.. and emailed on a regular basis. This went on for a couple of months... I even asked him if there was someone else - he denied it. He denied it until one day he told me (via email) there was someone and he's trying to make that work. This was back in August. I was devastated... I was so hurt that I left town. I needed to heal.. A few months after that, he tried to contact me, but I didn't contact back. Again, after another couple of months he contacted, said he was thinking about me and wants to know how I'm doing.. I still hadn't contacted. He called me, sent text message again - saying he missed talking with me. So I finally sent him an email -told him that I had moved out of town and was trying to move on. He expressed his happiness and thanked me for sending the email... he than went on to say how he thought I had moved since he kept an eye out for me a few months after the break-up: checked my apt parking lot (day and night) to see if my car was still there, the shuttle bus I used to take to work, etc..

Since he didn't mention anything in his email, I was under the impression that he's doing all this because now he's single again.. and perhaps missed everything.. Since he didn't mention, I asked about his personal life - to my surprise, he says that his relationship from July and August still continues and is going well. And that he's trying to work on being happy. And there I was thinking his behaviour was because he was single.

I don't get it - why contact me if he's still with someone else? Why tell me all those things? What do I do in this situation - do I ask him these questions or do nothing at all (as before). Obviously my wounds or heart hasn't healed yet.

Please help..
Jupiter

I would leave this confused mixed message guy alone and be glad to be done with someone who has no clue what he wants.

There are too many people who are willing to actually give something in a relationship to waste time on someone who won't.

Bottom line,he is also not available! Ignore him.

Don't continue to torment yourself thinking that things will suddenly evolve into a relationship. He seems a little greedy to be honest. He has a relationship yet he's getting his rocks off back having you hanging on a string. He was physical with both you and her during the same time frame for pete's sake.

He's not available so what do you expect to happen? He cheated on his other girlfriend (or is he back with the same person?) so he doesn't seem like he's into monogomy.

Stop answering his calls, emails, texts, etc. Just let it go. You can not heal until you break all contact with this guy. Once you do, then there will be room for the right guy in you life. You deserve better.

You started wrong by messing around with him in the beginning while you knew he was involve with his live in girlfriend. That didn't stop you then.

So now he assume you are going continue being his girl on the side.

Never fool around with a guy when you knows he already has a girl. All you are doing is enabling him to cheat and use you in the process. If he can do it ti them he would do it to you.

This guy doesn't know hoew to be faithful and your just pitting yourself in an compromising situation. And causing yourself to be confuse. This road only can cause you pain and unnecessary drama.

You owe him nothing so move on and have more respect for yourself. Find someone that is single and wants to be with you, and only you.