Threads merged and edited for grammer, text speak, and sentence structure, geez!!!!

I don't know what to do my boyfriend got a gay girl pregnant.
Ok.. me an my boyfriend were going out for 4 years, I had a baby by him. Then this gay girl, an her girlfriend wanted to have a baby. She came an asked him, can he give her an baby. I told him not to. He told me, it wasn't going to be his baby, its going to be their baby, and he's not going to take care of it. So I still said no. So we broke up then, we went back out. He told me that's she's pregnant by him, and he's going to claim the baby. He also said that he doesn't want to be with her, he wants to be with me, and she don't want to be with him, she wants to be with her girlfriend. I am so lost, I don't know what to do. Can someone give me some helping advice on what to do? I love this man, and he (loves me), but this is going to pull us apart. So can someone help? Thanks

If you can't deal with it, you leave him.

If you cannot handle this, and I would not. Then leave him as you deserve better, make sure to get child support though.

Have you had any talks with this woman who had sex with you boyfriend for the baby? What do you mean he is claiming the baby? I was a little confused by that.

Also, What is it that you need to find out or need help with? Have you considered counseling with him?

Sad to say that there is nothing you can do about it now that the baby is on its way.

You said he is going to claim the baby.What does that mean?

If he does not have a legal contract he will be paying child support for this child until he/she is 18.

If he is determined to be a part of this child's life than as difficult as it may be for you emotionally,you may want to get on board.

This is only going to pull you apart if you allow it to.

I don't think it was fair of him to go against your wishes but the fact is the child is a reality now and if you want to be with him,you are going to have to accept it.

Why do you feel that this is going to tear you apart? Clearly,if she is a lesbian she is not into your boyfriend.

What is it about the situation you feel will pull you apart?

Have you had any talks with this woman who had sex with you boyfriend for the baby? What do you mean he is claiming the baby? I was a little confused by that.

I'm confused by that, too. Is he going to put the baby on his medical insurance plan or something?

I think the two of you should head to couple's counseling. He went against your wishes and got another woman pregnant. He's opened himself up to a potential $torm of litigation. Even if she swore to him she'd never sue him for child support, etc. she can always change her mind later.

That's a very odd situation, but if he did not respect your wishes when you told him not to do it. Then he is not a man, and you deserve better, Its going to take some time to get past it but you will be better off for it. There is someone out there for you that will treat you like the woman that you are, and listen to you.

Not for nothing? If this girl wanted to get pregnant so badly, and she is gay, why did she choose your boyfriend to sleep with? Didn't she ever hear of artificial incemination?

I'm confused by that, too. Is he going to put the baby on his medical insurance plan or something?

I think the two of you should head to couple's counseling. He went against your wishes and got another woman pregnant. He's opened himself up to a potential $torm of litigation. Even if she swore to him she'd never sue him for child support, etc., she can always change her mind later.

I mean like if anybody ask him is that his baby he's going to say yes an he's going to spend time with the baby an everything

There are also legal issues that need to be addressed.

Is the commitment he is making to spend time with the child that is upsetting you?

You have posted this earlier.You create confusion when you have two threads going.

Yea if that's there baby why should you spend time with it. I don't know whether to stay with him or leave him

Also, What is it that you need to find out or need help with? Have you considered counseling with him?

I need help with ether staying or leaveing

I'm confused by that, too. Is he going to put the baby on his medical insurance plan or something?

I think the two of you should head to couple's counseling. He went against your wishes and got another woman pregnant. He's opened himself up to a potential $torm of litigation. Even if she swore to him she'd never sue him for child support, etc., she can always change her mind later.

No he's not doing that

If you can't accept this child and you feel that you will never be able to ,then I think you need to end your relationship.

I do not say that lightly because you have your own child that you both should be parenting.

No one has to walk a mile in your shoes so no one can tell you to stay or go.

It depends on whether you can accept this child in your life.

If you can't accept this child and you feel that you will never be able to ,then I think you need to end your relationship.

I do not say that lightly because you have your own child that you both should be parenting.

No one has to walk a mile in your shoes so no one can tell you to stay or go.

It depends on whether or not you can accept this child in your life.

I could except the child in my life but I just don't want to look stupid an I don't think I can trust him

Not for nothing? If this girl wanted to get pregnant so badly, and she is gay, why did she choose your boyfriend to sleep with? Didn't she ever hear of artificial incemination?

Not for nothing? If this girl wanted to get pregnant so badly, and she is gay, why did she choose your bf to sleep with? Didn't she ever hear of artificial incemination??

I have no idea but do you think I should stay or leave

LEAVE!!!!!!!!

I am appalled he made that decision, to have a child with another, over your objections. That wasn't very thoughtful or caring, him putting the needs of strangers, over you.

See a lawyer, for a free consultation, to protect the right of your own child, by the court system, just in case they change their minds.

That was pretty selfish, and a real deal breaker in my opinion, and a callous disrespect, to the needs, and concerns of you, AND the child you have together.

Sorry, but that's an unthinkable action to take, even if they paid him... did they?

Honey, if he went behind your back, and did this (even if you two were broken up at the time) I really would have a hard time trusting him. Ultimately this is your decision as to whether to continue the relationship, but honestly he doesn't sound trustworthy at all. He didn't even consider your feelings. Who is this girl anyway? Is she a friend of yours?

LEAVE!!!!!!!!

I am appalled he made that decision, to have a child with another, over your objections. That wasn't very thoughtful or caring, him putting the needs of strangers, over you.

See a lawyer, for a free consultation, to protect the right of your own child, by the court system, just in case they change their minds.

That was pretty selfish, and a real deal breaker in my opinion, and a callous disrespect, to the needs, and concerns of you, AND the child you have together.

Sorry, but thats an unthinkable action to take, even if they paid him...............did they??



No they didn't pay him that I know of

Honey, if he went behind your back, and did this (even if you two were broken up at the time) I really would have a hard time trusting him. Ultimately this is your decision as to whether or not to continue the relationship, but honestly he doesn't sound trustworthy at all. He didn't even consider your feelings. Who is this girl anyway? Is she a friend of yours?

No she notmy friend

Well you heard it from the best but I second that you leave, then there isn't anything else to worry about.

He betrayed your trust and you are ashamed of the situation you are in now. Time to get out!

So, will the baby be living with him? Or will the baby be living with the lesbian couple; and he will just see the baby once and a while?

I might have missed something but it isn't clear in this thread how he got her pregnant, was it artificial insemination or did they have sex. If they had sex not only did he sleep with someone else but he did it to get her pregnant against your objections. And if not he still went against you behind your back which would alone be enough for me to leave him were I in your shoes.

Also he's going to claim the baby? Whilst it is understandable being his biological child, to promise a child to another couple and to never have anything to do with the child, and then suddenly change your mind is a nasty thing to do.

Also, if he was sleeping with her to get her pregnant, it would take multiple opportunities in order to impregnate her...

A complete violation of trust, especially when the OP already stated to him that she didn't want this.

So, will the baby be living with him? Or will the baby be living with the lesbian couple; and he will just see the baby once and a while?



No the baby won't be living with him it will be living with the 2 girls an they had sex

I might have missed something but it isn't clear in this thread how he got her pregnant, was it artificial insemination or did they have sex. if they had sex not only did he sleep with someone else but he did it to get her pregnant against your objections. And if not he still went against you behind your back which would alone be enough for me to leave him were i in your shoes.

Also hes going to claim the baby? whilst it is understandable being his biological child, to promise a child to another couple and to never have anything to do with the child, and then suddenly change your mind is a nasty thing to do.


They had sex together

Even though you might not see it now but maybe what he did was a blessing in disguise for the gay couple.

A lot of gay couple wants kids and some face a hard time adopting them. I know a lesbian couple and saw the hardship and disappointment they went through when they wanted kids. They went through open adoption agencies and nothing never happen. In the end, one of them asked their male friend to get the other one pregnant. He did but they did it the legal way and now they have 3 more because they adopted kids through foster care.

However, I hope your boyfriend made a wise choice and know about the couple background.

Even though you told him not to do this the choice is ultimately his. It would've been great if he would've took your feelings into consideration and thoroughly took to you about this.

You want other people to make a decision you have to make because it affects your life not hours. So you need to do what is in your best interest and your future and pro or cons rather to stay or go.

Even though you might not see it now but maybe what he did was a blessing in disguise for the gay couple.

Alot of gay couple wants kids and some face a hard time adopting them. I know a lesbian couple and saw the hardship and disappointment they went through when they wanted kids. They went through open adoption agencies and nothing never happen. In the end, one of them asked their male friend to get the other one pregnant. He did but they did it the legal way and now they have 3 more because they adopted kids through foster care.

However, I hope your boyfriend made a wise choice and know about the couple background.

Even though you told him not to do this the choice is ultimately his. It would've been great if he would've took your feelings into consideration and throughly took to you about this.

You want other people to make a decision you have to make because it affects your life not hours. So you need to do what is in your best interest and your future and pro or cons rather to stay or go.
You know what this is the answer I have been waiting for all day your right but I love him an have a baby with him how can I ever rebuild my trust for him?

Trust can be rebuild and will take time because now he sort of have to earn your trust back through actions and words. But once you accept to stay with him you have to be willing to forgive and the forgetting part is kind of tricky.

Trust can be rebuild and will take time because now he sorta have to earn your trust back through actions and words. But once you accept to stay with him you have to be willing to forgive and the forgetting part is kind of tricky.


I know but I'm willing to be with but now when he wants to go out an chill with his boys I know ima think he's with a girl an I'm going to acuse him all the time

I don't think he cares what you think, or how you feel. The only help you get is what you give yourself.

I hope that you take my answer for you to just take him back. If this happens I would have a deep discussion with him and all because you have a child with him doesn't mean that you've to be with him. A guy doesn't make you whole or happy this starts from you.

I hope that you take my answer for you to just take him back. If this happens I would have a deep discussion with him and all because you have a child with him doesn't mean that you've to be with him. A guy doesn't make you whole or happy this starts from you.

Thanks for the advice an ima have a deep talk with him 2 night

He most likely didn't get her pregnant on the first attempt, and even if he did they couldn't of know straight away so they must have had sex regularly for a while. I'm not sure how long you were broken up for or weather it was an actually break up or just a separation. But he still had sex with someone else on a regular basis for a while and completely ignored your opinion. He doesn't seem to care what you think or feel in this matter. Also from what you said he only told you that he had actually done it after you got back together and after she was already pregnant.

Also are you sure that they only had sex whilst you were broken up. Because he clearly didn't mind the idea of doing it when you were together.

He had sex with someone else several times and he ignored your thoughts and feelings, sex is sex, weather its for procreation or pleasure. I really think you should leave him. As others have said, just because you had a child with him doesn't mean you have to stay with him.

He may have given the other couple a gift but he did it willingly knowing it could destroy your relationship.

How old are all of you?

How old are all of you?

I'm 18 an he's 18

Your really to young for all that drama, don't you think??

Your really to young for all that drama, don't you think???

I know that's the samething I was thinking about I'm going to pull the plug I'm not going with him now more I'm to young 4 this drama in my life already